by Jane Charles
“Yep.”
“I haven’t been in this part of the city in forever.” The bridge is no help in giving me any clue as to where we are going and I don’t like this. My world consists of a very specific area and this is not part of that area. It’s out of my comfort zone. Not that I couldn’t find my way back to the gym, but I like to be where I can at least predict what might happen. For twelve years I didn’t relax because everything could change on a whim. I’m just finally getting used to being settled and actually taking my clothes out of a dresser and not a suitcase and now Tex is taking me away from that security.
Worse, suggested taking me to Texas. He might as well have suggested France.
His hand closes over mine and I look over at him. Can he sense my unease?
“We’re going to have fun. I promise.” Then he winks and still has that grin on his face.
I do relax, somewhat.
He takes his hand away and disappointment stabs. So, his touching me was for comfort and nothing else. I may not like it, but now I know where I stand.
Then he slips his hand underneath mine and entwines our fingers. I blink at him. He’s holding my hand, what does it mean? The only time any guy has tried to hold my hand is when they were trying to talk me into letting them fuck me. And, it worked. At least a few times, but I’m not fifteen anymore either.
“What is this?” I finally ask. I have to know if he is a friend getting me out of the house or if there is something there that I didn’t imagine.
“What do you think it is?” The left side of his mouth tilts up.
“I don’t know.”
Tex studies me and the smile slips. “Do you remember talking in the hospital?”
It wasn’t imagined. Thank God. “Yes, some.” I’m still hesitating to answer because even though things were discussed, I still don’t trust the memories with all the fuzziness.
“Am I going to have to repeat it?”
“Yes.” I bite my lip and wait. I’m not going to guess. I need to know.
Tex leans in, his nose almost touching mine. “Nina White, I’ve fallen for you. Hard!”
My heart starts pounding with excitement and relief.
“I don’t know when or how, but it’s been with me a few months as I’ve been trying to sort out what to do with it all.”
A few months?
“Then, when you hit your head, I got scared. It pushed me into facing it head on.”
His hand tightens around mine.
“I was afraid I was going to lose you before I ever got a chance to tell you, or figure out how to tell you.”
This concussion is probably the best thing that ever happened to me. If I hadn’t been hurt, he might have never said anything, because I sure as hell wasn’t going to.
“Do you remember any of that?”
“Some.”
“Do you remember what you said to me?”
“That I was really glad what I was feeling wasn’t one-sided.”
His green eyes look into mine. “Was that your injured brain talking or did you mean it?”
He’s confessed so it’s time for me to come clean. I don’t know what will happen after this but at some point in my life I need to start taking chances. “I meant it.” My face begins to heat because he’s studying me so intently.
“Whew! I was beginning to think you didn’t remember.”
“To tell you the truth, I’ve been wondering if I imagined it because, well, you’ve been the same. No different.”
“Well, silly, you were suffering from a head injury, and Miguel is always underfoot, so I thought I’d wait until we could be alone so we could really talk.” Tex lets go of my hand and then puts an arm around my shoulder and pulls me close. “And now that that’s out of the way, let’s enjoy our first date.”
Date! I’m actually going on a date. “So, where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.” He chuckles. “One day you are going to have to start trusting me, Horns.”
I snuggle against him. “I already do.” More so than most anyone in my life. He feels right. He feels safe, but in an entirely different way from Miguel, Betsy and Barrett are safe.
Nina doesn’t say anything else, and she doesn’t pull away from me either. She’s not a snuggly kind of girl so I wasn’t sure if she’d stay like this, but she did. The car slows as we near the park and that’s when Nina finally sits up and looks out. “Central Park?”
“Yep.”
I open the door and get out, but she’s getting out of her side before I can get her door. “You know, there is a big park like ten blocks from the gym.”
“But they don’t have horse-drawn carriages.”
Nina blinks over at the line of carriages waiting to take passengers. “Seriously?”
I never thought that she wouldn’t like it. Did I screw up? I like carriages and wagons and sleds. It’s the country in me. I like being cuddled up with a girl under a star-filled sky while a horse pulls us around. “Well, it won’t be taxing. You can just sit back and relax and get some fresh air and Miguel won’t get mad at me for making you do too much.”
She rolls her eyes. “He’ll keep me from training, and everything else, for a year if he could.”
“He cares and he worries.”
She smiles a little and shrugs. “I know.”
I grab her hand and start walking toward the carriages. “He’s not the only one.”
Nina doesn’t say anything to that, but I could swear her cheeks darken, like she’s blushing. Horns doesn’t blush, but we’ve never been like this before. Maybe I’m finally starting to pull back her armadillo layers. Not that armadillos have layers, but Nina does and each and every one is just as tough.
After I give them my reservation, we are loaded into the back of a black carriage and soon we are being driven into the park. I’ve seen people in the carriages before, and it always looked romantic in movies, but Nina hasn’t relaxed. Did I fuck this up?
I assumed we’d lean back, my arm around her and talk, but she’s on the edge of her seat, looking one direction and then the next. I’m not sure if she’s agitated or excited.
“This is wonderful,” she finally breathes out and I inwardly sigh.
She likes it, just not in the snuggly romantic kind of way, but I’ll take it.
Finally, she leans back and relaxes. “I think I was here once, when I was a kid.”
Do I ask if it was her family? Do I even mention something that may be painful? “Who were you with?”
“I think it was a school trip for something, but can’t remember. I think I was like in second grade. I know it was the first year I was in foster care.”
“Was it really hard? Foster care.”
She blinks at me and sadness clouds her ryes. “We’re not talking about me or that.”
Eventually I will learn everything there is to know about Nina, but I won’t push her tonight.
We pass another couple, they are returning from their ride, the woman and man are snuggled so close they could be one person, and in a lip lock that should be putting out steam. I look at Nina out of the corner of my eye. She’s blushing again.
Damn. This was going to be our first kiss, once we were further into the park and away from the traffic. I know it’s a risk. Hell, I was surprised when she let me keep my arm around her, maybe a kiss is too soon, or too public.
With a typical girl I’d know what to do, and we’d probably already be kissing. But, Nina isn’t typical and if she was, we wouldn’t be in the carriage and I wouldn’t have fallen for her.
“Have you thought of which school you want to attend?” I know she spent time on my computer while she was made to stay back in the apartment after the concussion. Not that she could spend much time on it at first, but after a week or so she could work longer. “Or a major?”
She sighs and leans back. “I applied to all three schools, I don’t know if I’ll get in though.”
“Of course you will,” I assure her
. Her grades are great and she got one of the highest scores on the SATs, higher than anyone I know. “Which one is ranking the highest?” General topics are what makes her comfortable, and I get that, but we can’t always be general. I want to know everything I can about her, but I’m afraid I’ll have to pull anything I want to know from her and if I push too hard, she’ll shut down.
It’s just like taming a wild horse. As the trust deepens, the more they’ll let you do.
17
When we passed that couple who were going at it so hard and probably going to find a bed as soon as they got out of the carriage, if they made it that far, I was afraid that Tex had brought me on this ride to make out. Sure, I want to kiss him, and do other things, but not in the back of a carriage or in a public park. This is all kind of new and he’s hot, and kind, and wonderful, and he makes me feel safe, secure and even loved, but I’m not ready to go at it in the back of a carriage either.
He’s a guy, so of course he wants that. All of them do, but sex is not my favorite thing to do. I guess I’ll eventually have to. It’s expected if relationships get serious. I really don’t get what the big deal is for girls. Guys, they get off, it’s like a need they can’t suppress, but for a girl, it’s just okay and sometimes nice.
But, I’d much rather talk about college. A much safer topic than when he asked about foster care, and more comfortable than kissing in public.
“I like St. Francis College the best, but it’s like three times as much as Brooklyn or Empire State.”
He frowns. “Are you sure about that?”
Maybe I read the numbers wrong. “I’ll double check, but it was more expensive.”
“Why do you like St. Francis better?”
“I can major in management with minors in business or sports management.”
He pulls back and looks at me. “That’s basically what I’m studying.”
“I know.” I can feel my face heat. I didn’t decide on this major because of Tex. I decided on it because it was a good fit for me. “I don’t want to leave Miguel. He’s also getting older and is going to need help.”
“You already do a lot of the work.”
“No, I don’t.” But I have taken on some of the bookkeeping and management of the part-time staff scheduling, which he gave me in the last week. “And, one day he’s not going to be around.” I hate to think of the possibility of Miguel no longer being there. “He’s around 75 or 80 or something. What is going to happen to the gym when he’s gone?”
Tex chuckles. “He’s 73.”
“That doesn’t make him young,” I argue. “His brother, and the rest of his family, live in Florida and won’t want it, and he doesn’t have any kids. I’d hate to see it just go to someone who won’t appreciate everything Miguel has done.” I’m also afraid that when the time comes, which I hope is decades from now, that the new owner won’t want me around and I’ll lose my home.
“So, you want to take over, maybe buy it from him?”
I shrug. “Yeah. It’s where I belong.”
Tex puts his arm around me and pulls me close. “Then I guess that’ll make you my boss.”
What the hell is he talking about? “This is years away. You’ll be back in Texas by then.”
Tex looks down at me, his green eyes all warm. “Nina, I’m never moving back to Texas. I’ll visit, but I’m not going to live there.”
My heart skips a beat. I just assumed Tex would be gone in a year and a half and, in time, forget all about me, Miguel’s and everything else.
“What are you going to do?”
“I had planned on doing exactly what you just described. I wanted to buy Miguel out when he can’t run the place anymore. He’d still have his home in the back. I wouldn’t take that from him, and he’d still do whatever he wanted at the gym, but in time, it’s going to be too much for him.”
“A lot of it already is too much for him.” Which is why Tex and I do so much. Johnny used to do some of it, but slowly I’m taking on those duties. Much of it in the office. Maybe I need to get an accounting degree too, because the books can be tricky.
Am I going to have to fight Tex for Miguel’s in the future?
His grin widens. “Maybe we’ll be business partners.”
A future of running Miguel’s with Tex excites me. I trust and know him, and Miguel’s vision for the community will never be lost. But, it is also a long way off. “I like that idea. Maybe I should go strong on the classes you’ll be lacking so we have everything covered.”
“Let’s just not tell Miguel about our plan yet. He’ll yell at us for burying him before he’s dead.”
I laugh because Miguel would take issue. I’ve heard him yell at guys more often than I can count that he may be old but he can still take them, and his mind is still sharp as a tack.
It’s a nice dream, me and Tex running Miguel’s, still together in the future, but I know better than to put faith in something so far out of reach. I’ll still dream it, but the reality is, I doubt Tex will really be here as long as he thinks, and it’s safer for me if I don’t plan on a forever and just enjoy whatever this is for as long as it lasts.
Nina and I running Miguel’s one day sounds pretty sweet. My parents will hate it, but it’s even better than I planned. The only drawback is that Nina will never be able to pay for it, whereas, I can. I’m sure I can get a loan against my trust fund. The fund I’ve never mentioned to Nina. I don’t want her to know that I come from money because I’m afraid that will change everything somehow.
Time. That’s all I need. The more she reveals to me, the more I’ll reveal to her. Layer by layer.
She shivers so I pull her close. It is a bit cold out, but all the more reason to snuggle. Nina doesn’t pull away but rests her head on my shoulder again. The sky is clear, stars are sparkling and the only sound are the horse’s hooves clopping as it pulls the carriage. Even the driver has been silent, which I guess they are supposed to be. It’s almost like it’s just Nina and I alone in the world. We haven’t even passed another carriage and nobody is out in the park. It’s the perfect setting for a bit of romance.
“Nina, I need to tell you something.”
She tilts her head back and looks up at me, questioning in her eyes.
“I’m kind of a romantic fool.”
She chuckles. “I kind of guessed that about you. You did watch a hell of a lot of Hallmark when I was stuck in the apartment getting over my concussion.”
“I’m guessing you aren’t.”
“The only thing I know about romance is what you made me watch. None of that is real, you know.”
Of course she wouldn’t believe in the fairy tale. She’s been given no reason to. It’s hard to believe in a happily ever after when you don’t even have a family to call your own.
“It can be real.”
“For about five minutes.” She snorts.
“Like these five minutes?”
Her eyes narrow on me.
“I want to kiss you,” I blurt out.
“So, kiss me.”
It’s so matter-of-fact that I have to laugh.
“What?”
“Nothing.” I don’t dare tell her that every time she opens her mouth I fall just a little bit more in love with her. Opposites definitely attract.
She’s staring at me as if waiting for me to kiss her. I take my time because this will be the first of many and it needs to be perfect.
Cradling her cheek in my hand, I lower my lips to hers. Gently I press them to hers, she presses back and it’s the sweetest thing in the world. No open mouth yet. We’ll get there, but I’m loving the sweetness of this. Of us. Of the new beginning.
I keep kissing, she angles her head and I can’t help but press a little forward. I shouldn’t, but I don’t listen to myself very well, and trace the seam of her lips with my tongue. Nina opens, touches her tongue to mine and I’m not cold any longer. But, if I don’t stop, we’ll look like the couple we passed and that’s not what I wan
t. Not yet. In time, yes, but I’m not going from first base to home in one night. Not with so much learning we both still need to do.
18
Lying in bed, I’m staring at the dark ceiling with what I assume is a goofy grin on my face. Not that I let Tex see my grin, but I’ve been feeling all kinds of goofy inside since he kissed me.
Damn, I’ve never been kissed like that before. All tender and sweet. Guys in the past have kissed me and gone for the tonsils as their hands went down my pants. Not Tex. All he did was hold my hand, touch my cheek and kiss me with such tenderness that my heart ached from it.
I’m falling in love with him. At least, that is what it feels like. I’ve been falling but that kiss kind of sealed the deal.
He’s so kind, considerate, loving and hot as hell. If this continues, and he wasn’t disappointed in my kissing, eventually we’ll get to the fucking part. That’s something I haven’t had any interest in since I was fifteen, and I wasn’t all that interested in it then, but thought it was expected. With Tex it might not be so bad. At least, I assume that is what will eventually happen if we keep going, but I think Tex will be slower in getting there than most guys, which I’m perfectly fine with. If he’s taking his cues from the movies on Hallmark, hell, we might never get there, which would be fine too. I just like being with him, and kissing him, something I never thought I’d really like. And, I like it when his arm is around me, which is really weird because I don’t like to be touched all that much. But with Tex, it isn’t intrusive. It’s comforting, like when Miguel gives me a hug. Except, with Miguel, it is more like a grandfather giving affection. There is nothing grandfatherly, fatherly or brotherly when Tex holds me.
Maybe I should watch more of those Hallmark movies so I know how I should behave and know what to expect. I didn’t watch even a full movie when Tex was watching them. Maybe I missed something. All I knew was that those relationships were nothing like I ever experienced. Of course, I was fourteen and fifteen, so there is that. But, I also haven’t witnessed those kind of relationships anywhere else. Guys at the gym talk about getting laid, or going out and having a good time. The girls don’t say much, except if a guy did something sweet or they had great sex with someone. As for high school, well, nothing even remotely romantic happens in high school and as far as what I’ve seen in foster care—well, forget that. Too many people are just trying to survive each day.
