He smirked at me. “You seemed pretty sure I was interested in Risa, who can’t give me children either.”
“But at least you can have sex with her!” I exclaimed, beginning to feel hysterical. I had to push him away. I had to protect him from this. He didn’t deserve an incomplete life with me. He deserved a woman who could fulfill his every need.
Eli unexpectedly touched my butt again, his hand running over my leather shorts. He grinned. “As long as I can touch this as much as I want, then that’s enough for me.”
Tears immediately clouded my vision, and I couldn’t see him anymore. I was crying too hard. Eli held me tighter as my body was wrecked with uncontrollable sobs. “No, no, no!” I cried out, my voice breaking. “You deserve better!”
He didn’t respond right away though. Instead, he bent down and gently kissed me on the forehead. “I want you,” he whispered against my skin. I then felt his warm lips form a smile again. “Riel, I know it wasn’t a mistake that I was summoned instead of a dragon. Summoning crystals don’t make mistakes. Obviously, whatever you were wishing for in that moment, a dragon was only half of it. And I think the other half was that you wanted someone to love you. So here I am, wish granted.”
My body uncontrollably curled in his lap, and I couldn’t breathe, my feelings shutting me down for a few seconds just before another powerful sob forced itself out. I couldn’t speak anymore, so I just cried, my tears soaking his skin. And he just held me tighter, occasionally kissing my forehead and whispering that he loved me.
I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t deserve him.
And yet, I knew he was right. Summoning crystals didn’t make mistakes. It was a powerful magic that granted the user whatever they needed most. I had believed I needed a friend. But, in thinking that thought, the powerful summoning magic had sensed the truth behind it – that what I really needed, and desperately wanted, was for someone to love me for once in my life.
Someone to love me…no matter what, unconditionally, without reservation, with all their might. Someone who would protect my body. Someone who would defend my heart. Someone who would love me more than anyone else. And someone who would do anything for me…even give up sex…if that was the only way to be with me.
But that wasn’t all.
I also needed someone who I could love just as much.
Who I could love just as passionately.
Just as unconditionally.
Irrevocably.
So here I am, wish granted.
Chapter 15: Vanardis
I sobbed for so long that it was humiliating. I would have thought that my body would have shriveled up from the water-loss, or that I would have passed out from fatigue by now, but it wouldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop.
I had just been through hell emotionally, first having my deepest desire fulfilled after eighteen years of loneliness, only to have it ripped away from me and replaced with a curse, only to have it given back despite that curse.
I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t deserve him.
But I still wanted it. I still wanted him. So I couldn’t resist.
I gave in.
And that made me elated, depressed, terrified, and livid all at once. I was angry at myself for not being strong enough to push him away. I was miserable because I still faced the horrifying revelation that I was going to have my soul eaten one way or another. And I was happy because Eli still wanted me despite it all, and despite what it meant for our relationship.
After a while, Eli finally scooped me up in his arms, and began walking since it was clear I wasn’t stopping anytime soon. I continued to cry the entire time, sobbing relentlessly. I wished I could stop.
But I cried the whole way.
I was vaguely aware that we made it back to the others.
They hadn’t left. They had waited for Eli to return with me. All of them were fine, suffering no lasting injuries. Granted, Mira could have healed them anyway. I left Eli’s arms only for a minute, being held by Tobias while he got dressed. During that time, Mira tried using her magic on me, afraid I had been wounded, but it didn’t help. My pain and torment were beyond her reach. At least she got rid of the throbbing on the side of my head though. Maybe I wouldn’t end up with half my face bruised after all.
Once Eli had clothes on, I found myself in his arms again. Risa pressed up against me, causing me to cry harder, beginning to writhe around because I was so overwhelmed with all the feelings forcing their way out of me. I had more love in my life now than I had ever been blessed with in my entire existence, and more pain because of it. I didn’t even fully understand what I was experiencing.
I was so thankful for them, that it physically hurt.
When her arms remained wrapped around me, along with Eli’s, I finally realized I was in his lap again. He was sitting down in the wagon, and Risa was practically in his lap too as she wrapped herself around me, trying to get me to calm down.
But I didn’t calm down. I couldn’t.
I finally experienced relief when I passed out.
A sob woke me up.
Apparently, I had still been sobbing in my sleep. I took a deep breath, feeling the tightness in my chest release a little. For a few minutes, I just focused on my breathing, trying to make sure I wasn’t going to start crying again. I was still being held by two sets of arms, one set thick and strong and the other thin and gentle.
I opened my eyes to see Eli’s blue and Risa’s gold irises watching me with concern. Mira was there too, sitting by my feet, her expression just as anxious. I could see Landon’s outline behind her as he steered the horses. We were moving, the cart rattling softly underneath us. It was late now, although the sun hadn’t set yet. But the sun was low enough in the sky, that it cast Landon’s back in shadows since we were heading northwest. I had no idea how long I’d been asleep, but I knew I’d been sobbing for hours. I couldn’t believe such a feat was possible. The longest I’d ever cried was half an hour, before I would become too exhausted to continue.
I attempted to speak, only to find my voice was really hoarse. Finally, I managed to croak in a whisper. “I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Risa said firmly, but gently. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t help protect you. They targeted me first, so I couldn’t do anything.”
Mira chimed in. “They knew she was the only real threat to them. There’s not a lot any of the rest of us could have done.”
I shook my head. “It’s okay.” My voice was suddenly coming out easier, and then I realized Mira had started using her magic on me. I smiled weakly at her, finding it amusing she had found another way to make herself useful. “Thanks,” I whispered.
She was silent for a few more seconds, still focusing on what she was doing, and then replied cheerfully. “You’re welcome!”
“She awake?” Tobias called out from the front. He was sitting next to his son, which meant Theo must have been the one required to ride the other horse solo. I was thankful for that, not wanting to deal with his unwanted comments right now. Hopefully he would have the wisdom to give it a rest until I could put up the effort to tell him to stop entirely.
While Mira answered her father, I slowly tried to sit up. Eli helped me, but as soon as I attempted to escape his lap, he stopped me. I yelped in surprise when he pulled me back so that I was reclining against his chest with Risa now sitting in front of us. I hesitated briefly, glancing up at Risa for a moment to look for any signs of jealousy. I then relaxed when she showed nothing but concern for me, and let it happen.
His chest was so warm and comfortable, and his arms wrapped around me only intensified the effect. I took a shaky breath and then sighed heavily. I let him keep one arm wrapped around my chest underneath my arms, but carefully moved his hand to my exposed stomach, enjoying how it felt when he reacted to touching me there. I then rested both my hands on his, loving the heat radiating from his palm into my core. For once, I didn’t feel embarrassed that my chest was so small. Eli seem
ed more than content to hold me tightly there.
“So…what happened?” Mira asked tentatively.
I tilted my head back and looked up at Eli, surprised he hadn’t told them already. “You didn’t say?” I asked in shock.
He shrugged. “Well, I didn’t feel like it was really my place to share, but I’ve also been too worried about you. At first, I thought I knew why you were crying, but then I wasn’t so sure.”
Risa agreed. “You had us really worried. I’ve never seen anyone so upset for so long.”
I took another shaky breath, leaning more into Eli. I couldn’t tell them everything – there was nothing they could do about it anyway. So I resigned to just explaining the basics. “It’s…complicated.” I began. “The elderfel said I stole from them, which is why they wanted me dead. But it turns out, they were right in a way. I have their goddess living inside me. They were trying to get her back by killing me.” Mira and Risa both gasped. I continued. “But she’s the reason why they didn’t kill me. She appeared before them and demanded they let me live or else she would never return to them.”
“But how did she get inside you in the first place?” Mira wondered.
I sighed. “She’s more like a demon than a goddess.” I paused. “No, she is a demon, who possesses people. When I die, she’ll choose her next host.”
“But...” Mira began slowly. “That doesn’t answer my question Riella. How did she get inside you?”
I turned my head to look at her then, debating whether or not I should lie. But the look of concern in her eyes softened my heart, and I just couldn’t do it. “My father,” I admitted. “She was inside my father before me. She automatically passes on to the firstborn child – me, in my father’s case.”
Eli spoke up, sounding confused. “Wait, I thought you said your mother brought you to the elves?”
I twisted my upper body around in his arms to look up at him, just as confused. “She did…” I said slowly, but then the expression on his face made me realize my mistake. If what I had told him was true, then it should have been my mother who died, not my father. I quickly turned back around and looked down, my face flushed bright red. He pulled me tighter against him again when I started shaking.
He didn’t say anything out loud though. Instead, I felt him use our bond to gently demand I tell him the truth. But I couldn’t do it. I was afraid to say it. Because, even though he knew I had lied to him, it felt like it would be more real if I said it out loud.
I was sure Risa had no idea exactly what the problem was, but she wanted to keep the conversation moving, so she asked what was on her mind. “What happened to your father?” She whispered.
I glanced up at her, her golden eyes melting my weak resolve the rest of the way. “He’s dead,” I blurted out. “When their demon goddess passes on to the firstborn, she steals her old host’s life.”
“And consumes their soul,” Eli added. It wasn’t a question. He knew at least that part was true. Just not the part about whose soul she ate. Both girls gasped and were quiet for a moment.
Unexpectedly, Tobias chimed in, surprising me. I hadn’t realized we were talking loud enough for him to hear. “And what happens if you don’t have children?”
I shook my head, not wanting them to know my fate was sealed. “I don’t know,” I lied, speaking a little louder so he could hear my answer. “But hopefully, I won’t have to find out for a long time now.”
“That’s right,” Risa chimed in cheerfully. “Your life isn’t in danger anymore if they are going to leave you alone.”
I nodded weakly, wishing all my problems were really solved like I was leading them to believe. “Not everyone seemed to agree with the goddess, but yeah. It looks like you’re right. At least I have that going for me.” I sighed then, turning my head to rest my cheek against Eli’s chest. I hadn’t realized how soft his tunic shirt was until now. I almost wanted to fall asleep in this position, still feeling exhausted even though I’d slept for a few hours. “How far away are we?” I wondered absentmindedly.
Mira responded. “Well, you were asleep for probably three hours, but I’m not exactly sure since we lost some time earlier…” She hesitated, not wanting to mention the attack again. Looking over her shoulder, she continued. “Dad?”
Tobias grunted. “Probably about two hours left now. I can see the magitek lamps in the distance.”
That surprised me. If we were two hours away, then how could they see the city lights from this distance? I was glad Eli was curious too, because he asked for me.
Unexpectedly, all three of the humans laughed.
Risa seemed confused too as Tobias explained, apologizing for chuckling at our expense. “Sorry, it’s not the city lights I’m seeing, it’s the lamps along the road. Starting about five miles away from this side of the city, the road turns to stone and the streets are lined with magitek lamps every few hundred feet to help prevent crime. We’re about to that point, which is why I know that at our speed it will be about two hours.” He sighed. “The whole trip is about twenty miles, which is usually about eight hours by wagon. I’ve thought about purchasing one of their gasoline vehicles, but I wouldn’t have anywhere to refill it where we live. And they just developed new magitek vehicles too, but they are far too expensive to be worth it. But both machines are capable of making this trip in under half an hour.”
I tried not to think too hard about what I was hearing, because the idea that they had a machine that could travel twenty miles in under thirty minutes was mindboggling. The elves certainly had their own kinds of technology, but most of it relied more heavily on magic and was completely different than what I’d seen thus far in the human world. Boshra was slightly more primitive than my elven village, but I suspected Vanardis was much more advanced. The empire as a whole seemed more advanced.
After a few more minutes, I knew immediately we had reached the stone road, because there was a large jolt to the wagon, followed by the ride becoming much smoother. I sat up slightly in Eli’s lap to look over the edge of the cart, seeing that the road was like one massive rock that could fit at least four wagons side-by-side. And sure enough, it was lined with metal poles that stretched at least three times my height into the air. Each one had a diamond shaped metal cage with glass sides. Mira told us that the lights would come on automatically once the sun disappeared below the horizon.
Landon contributed to the conversation by explaining to us that they made the road with a liquid rock called concrete that hardened once it set. A lot of the bigger cities had these roads now, interconnecting them, but much of the land was still dirt trails in comparison. “Mostly businesses use these roads,” he was saying, “whereas a lot of people still ride trains to get from one city to the next. Those who live in the country still use horses for transportation.”
Eli at least knew what trains were, even though he had never seen one, but I didn’t, so Landon had to go into a separate explanation on that.
Tobias kept the wagon towards the edge of the large road, prompting Mira to explain that horses had to stay on the sides, so that faster moving vehicles could pass. “Granted,” she was clarifying, “not many cars travel this far south. That’s why the road just stops about five miles out.”
“If Boshra ever grows to be more advanced,” Tobias added, “then they might finish the road eventually. But it would require a number of larger businesses to begin setting their sights on our small town.” He sighed. “Not likely to happen anytime soon.”
I took a deep breath, readjusting my shoulders against Eli and resting my cheek against his chest again. I then closed my eyes, feeling a little overwhelmed by it all. I suspected all this new information would be a lot to take in anyway, but combined with the lingering knowledge of the demon lurking inside of me, it was just too much.
I felt Eli rest his hand on my head, running his fingers through my hair. I glanced up at him, before blushing and looking down again. “Thanks,” I whispered.
“For what
?” He wondered.
I hesitated, realizing that I had a lot to thank him for. However, I decided to just go with the specific reason why I had said it in the first place. “For holding me…” I admitted. I wanted to add, for touching me, for saving me, for loving me, but the sudden tears in my eyes choked me up. He tightened his embrace in response.
“I have an idea,” Mira unexpectedly announced. “Today has been a lot rougher than any of us expected, so why don’t we have some fun once we get there?”
“What did you have in mind?” Landon wondered.
She gave him a playful smile. “Well, Risa’s never been shopping. So, maybe after we eat, the girls can go check out a few stores while the guys do whatever it is that guys do.”
“Are you sure?” Landon asked. “It’ll be after dark by the time we get there.”
“Yeah, but a lot of places will still be open, and I’ll have two perfectly capable mages with me.” Mira smirked, but then looked at me hesitantly. “If you want to Riella…” She glanced up at Eli. “I can understand if you’d rather not. I just figured it would be good to get our minds off everything.”
I took a deep breath as I thought about it. I didn’t really want to be away from Eli right now, but I knew Mira and Risa would still be with me. And I agreed that I could use the distraction, not to mention that playing dress-up with Risa would be fun. I felt Eli suddenly pushing in on my thoughts then – he wanted me to do whatever I wanted.
Just like with the situation regarding Regulus, he wanted me to decide for myself, not because someone else wanted me to do it.
I looked up at him with a small smile, before meeting Mira’s gaze. “Sure, that does sound like fun.” I then grinned at Risa. “Prepare yourself, because we’re going to have a lot of fun with you.”
“Oh yes!” Mira agreed. “We can take turns picking out outfits!” Risa looked at us both, blushing intensely. Mira then looked over her shoulder. “Is that alright with you dad?”
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