Distractions. Had the man seen Roxie? Shit was going to happen.
Billy looked down at her, taking a deep breath. “You say you want to talk?”
She bit her lip, but nodded.
“All right.” He sucked it up. “We’ll talk.”
* * * * *
The drive to his place didn’t take long. He’d been renting a one-bedroom house on the edge of town for a while. The place wasn’t fancy, and he hadn’t taken any steps to make it that way. The roof was new-ish and the drafts had been sealed. That was good enough for him.
It wasn’t like the place was home.
“Give me a minute,” he muttered as he threw his jacket onto a threadbare lounger.
He took the time to clean up and put his head on straight. Knowing Roxie was out there in the living room didn’t allow him to concentrate. The house was too damn small. By the time he returned, he was more wound up and defensive than ever.
Billy swore under his breath. She was on his turf now. Why was he so rattled?
He found her looking at the pictures on the wall—photographs of the crew, him and Justin, and the dog he’d had for a couple of years. It made him edgy. She already knew how to get under his skin. He didn’t want to invite her any closer.
When she faced him, her arms were wrapped around her waist. He could smell her lavender scent. Her hair was wild, and her cheeks were pink.
Her eyes were wary, though.
He knew how she felt. A breeze outside shook the tree next to the front window and a chill went down the back of his neck. The hurt side of him wanted to curl up and protect itself. She, of all people, could sting him to the quick, and he was still smarting from their last big blowup.
She slipped her hands into the pockets of her jacket. “I tried to catch you when you left.”
Wow. She cut right to the heart of things, didn’t she?
He held his tongue. He’d spent the night at Charlie’s and had been at the airport first thing in the morning. He hadn’t broken stride once, because he hadn’t wanted her to catch him.
If she had, he didn’t know if he would’ve been able to leave.
She stared at the tips of her boots. “I didn’t want you to go.”
He frowned. They were words he wanted to hear, but they also tugged at the weakness inside him… the one he knew he’d have to overcome.
She nibbled on her lower lip when he didn’t respond. “I had some things to say.”
Billy’s back teeth set. “I can’t take this anymore, Roxie, the back and forth. I think we’ve both said enough.”
“You were right.”
“Wha—” He let out a surprised expulsion of air. “That’s a first.”
Her lips curled in a small smile, but her eyes flashed, showing fire. “About some things.”
This time she was the one who took a deep breath. Billy knew he shouldn’t, but his gaze slid over her body. She looked good. Tired and stressed maybe, but she still packed a punch.
He raked a hand through his hair. “Fine, let’s hear it.”
She met his gaze, daring him to push her any further.
He nodded in apology, ceding the floor.
“We were too young,” she finally admitted. “We were having trouble assimilating once we got out of the system. I hadn’t thought about that for a long time.”
Her hands balled into fists inside her pockets. She glanced at the window when a branch scratched up against it. Fall was hitting the East Coast and the threat of rain was in the air. “And as for the baby…”
She pulled her hands out of her pockets and ran them through her hair. “I don’t know if it was so much that I wanted a baby,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Hell, if I’m honest about it, I don’t even know if I like kids. I haven’t been around any for a long time. What I wanted, deep down, was a family. You know, the kind so many people think you should have.”
Her gaze flicked to his and locked.
He knew exactly what she meant. A married couple, two-point-five kids, with a house and a picket fence.
“I just wanted to belong, Billy.”
She had belonged. She’d belonged with him.
She still did.
His fingers bit into his hips. It was good that they were doing this, clearing the air, but he couldn’t let himself think it could lead to more.
She stared at him, waiting for a response, but he didn’t know what to say to her. “You belong now. You have your sisters.”
“I want you.”
He steeled his spine. Wanting was one thing. Trusting, caring, and depending on each other were entirely different.
Clouds dimmed the natural light coming through the window. The color in her cheeks had faded, but he saw a muscle in her jaw clench. She looked away, wrapping her arms around herself. “I don’t agree it was ‘for the best’ that we split up.”
Okay, that stung. “Our problems went deeper than just that one fight, Roxie.”
“I know. We just didn’t understand how to work through things. Growing up, our first inclination was always to defend ourselves.”
Billy rolled his shoulders. The weight in the air was becoming unbearable. “I know I was wild and you didn’t like the racing.”
She took a tiny step forward. Inches, really. “I was afraid for you. I was scared you’d get hurt, but look where it led with your big, fancy job.”
He glanced around the plain living room. Oh yeah, he was living the good life.
“You’re the best of the best, Billy.” She swallowed hard, and the bravado she was so good at portraying cracked. “I’m sorry I pushed you away. You were closer to me than anyone, and it really hit hard when we started having problems.”
“I know. It hit me, too.”
“I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I hurt us.”
He ran a hand over his stomach, trying not to come too close to his heart. “We were both at fault. I hadn’t realized before how much I do rationalize away things that are bad. I’ve just had to fight for so much, Rox. I could have fought harder for us.”
“I don’t want to be on guard against everything and everyone. Against you.” Her right foot cocked back on its heel. “I want to let you in, Billy, I really do. I love you.”
He went still. Time nearly stopped. “What?”
“I love you, but you’re right. I’m scared.” She shrugged and looked towards the door. She looked like she could bolt at any minute. “So… there’s that…”
He took too long to answer, and she made her move. He caught her by hooking an arm around her waist.
“That’s a lot,” he said gruffly, pulling her to him.
His heart was pounding. She loved him? He knew she wanted him, but it had been so long since he’d heard those words.
They were everything.
He tucked her hair behind her ear and cupped her face. “I don’t want you to be scared of me, Roxie. I can’t say I won’t hurt you again, but I won’t turn on you.”
“Will you leave?”
He sucked in a hard breath. “Why do you think I kept coming back?”
Her lips twisted, and she shook her head. She was trying not to cry. “To see Charlie?”
“To see you.” He blinked a little too fast, too. He was having a hard time letting himself believe it was true. All those lofty thoughts about faith and trust weren’t so easy for him, either. “I wanted to talk to you… maybe steal a kiss…”
“Then why did you always go?”
Because he had been an idiot? “Because I convinced myself you were bad for me.”
He could see the doubt moving back in. Her eyes were cloudy like the heavy sky outside.
“Maybe I am,” she whispered. “People always said that I’m trouble.”
He wanted those people’s names and addresses. Now. “You’re hell on wheels,” he said gruffly, “but that’s part of your charm.”
She closed her eyes when he brushed a kiss across her temple. They were both shaking, both
still uncertain.
“I’m sorry, babe.” he whispered. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to what you needed. I’m sorry I was such a hothead.”
“I’m the one who pushed you away all this time.”
“It never took, though, did it?”
And there was one important reason for that, one she needed to know.
He cupped her face with both hands. Their breaths were ragged, and electricity was cracking. He looked into those brown eyes he’d known for so long. “I love you, Roxie Cannon. I always have, and I always will.”
It was terrifying, stepping off the ledge, but a sob left her lips. It cut right through Billy. He gave a tug, and she lurched at him. He wrapped her up close, barely giving them room to breathe.
Fisting his hand in her hair, he made sure he had her attention. “Family is all I’ve ever wanted, too, but the only place I ever felt like I belonged was with you.”
So he was addicted to her, big fucking deal. Some drugs tore people apart, but others were needed to sustain life. She wasn’t bad for him; he just needed her.
Everybody needed something.
She took a shuddering breath. “I’ll move out here,” she said. “I want to try again. For real.”
God, he wanted that, but she’d be giving up too much. “I can’t tear you away from your sisters.”
Her tears bubbled up again. “We can’t be apart anymore, Billy. We just can’t.”
“I’ll move back to Cobalt City. It’s my home, too.” He rubbed his hand up and down her spine. “Do you think there’s room in that family of yours for one more? I like your sisters, and I could make an effort with their boyfriends.”
“Are you kidding me? They love you. They told me not to come back if you weren’t with me… But your job, Billy.” Roxie shook her head. “You’ve made it here.”
He’d made nothing. He was still a low-level man on a very tall totem pole. He’d give it all up. For her.
“All I need are engines to stick my head into, babe. That, and you.” He curved his hand around her butt, but then hesitated.
“But… about the kids thing.”
She shook her head, but he stopped her.
“You called me on it, and my actions haven’t exactly fit my words.” He shook his head. “Never is a long time. I don’t know… Maybe we could do it. Eventually.”
Her eyes went wide.
Billy swallowed hard. “My biggest worry has always been the ‘what ifs’. What if something happened to you or me? I couldn’t let a kid of mine become a ward of the state, but now that I’ve met your sisters… I don’t think they’d let something like that happen.”
“They wouldn’t. Never in a million years.”
“That could be the game changer,” he said gruffly. “Because I gotta admit, making babies with you now sounds sexy as hell.”
She inhaled sharply, but it was all he’d been able to think about ever since their fight. He hadn’t only been giving her up, he’d been leaving behind their memories and their dreams.
He grunted when she laid a hand deliberately over the zipper of his jeans. “Think we can go practice for that?”
Holy shit. Talk about having him by the balls.
“I don’t have any condoms left.”
The tears left her eyes to be replaced with a different kind of glimmer. “Good.”
With one word, he was hard. Picking her up, he carried her to the bedroom. Before they got there, she’d wrapped herself around him like a vine. Her arms were around his neck and her legs were around his waist. Her mound was pressed firmly against the bulge behind his zipper and she gave a desperate wiggle.
Billy nipped her earlobe, making her gasp. “Minx.”
She tugged him down with her when he laid her on the bed. With a quick move, she wrestled him until she was on top.
“I like that description,” she said as she slid her hand under his T-shirt. She grinned devilishly. “It has an ‘x’.”
He pulled her down for a hard kiss. With the way she was straddling him, he wasn’t going to last long. He caught the zipper of her jacket. He wanted skin. He wanted nothing between them. No lies, secrets, or heartache.
The zipper let loose, and he pushed the leather jacket off.
“Whoa,” he said on an exhale.
He stopped, his hands freezing on her shoulders. Red satin gleamed up at him. Red satin and daring lace.
He groaned. “Is that what I think it is?”
“I wasn’t coming here unarmed.” She petted his chest, dropping forward so he could see every inch of her curves. The bustier was a marvel of lingerie technology. How it managed to support and shape while barely covering her was a mystery.
One that made Billy’s breaths go short and tingles grip the base of his spine.
“It was my backup plan,” she said in all seriousness.
“Good one.” He cupped her right breast, plumping it so her nipple peeked through the lace. He tweaked the delicate flesh with his thumb, but swore when she squirmed. “But unnecessary.”
Grabbing control, he flipped her onto her back. His fingers went to the zipper of her jeans as she fought with his clothes.
“One more fantasy?” he asked.
She let one eyebrow lift.
He grinned down at her. “Leave the boots on, too.”
Chapter Fourteen
“That was a short trip,” Skeeter said as he wandered up to the bar. It was a Sunday evening at The Ruckus, and the door was slow. The news frenzy over the billboard had faded now that it was gone. “I didn’t expect you two back so soon.”
“I just had to put in my notice and pack my things.” Billy moved a chair, as instructed. “I don’t have much.”
Roxie grasped one side of a table and nodded for him to catch the other. “Let’s put it over there, up against the one in front of the jukebox.”
“Are you back to stay?” the bouncer asked.
“I am.”
“Good.” Skeeter gave his friend a hearty wallop on the back. “I won’t have to spend so much time keeping your girl out of trouble.”
“Are you sure about that?” Roxie gave her lover an intimate wink. “He thinks it’s part of my charm.”
They’d been making a lot of “trouble” over the past few days. Once they’d talked everything out, all the stress and angst had fallen away. Roxie hadn’t realized how much things had been wearing on her. They’d had an impromptu vacation as they’d packed and driven halfway across the country. It had made her realize that worry and regret had no place in her life. It was time to get back to doing what she did best—having fun.
That was why she was so looking forward to tonight.
She counted the seats. “That looks like enough.”
Together, they rearranged chairs. She tossed coasters like cards from a deck and made sure there were enough napkins and salt and pepper shakers. Satisfied, she returned behind the bar to check the ice and other supplies.
“Something going on tonight?” Roux asked. He was sitting at his spot at the end of the bar, quietly doodling on a napkin.
“Just having a little get-together.”
“A celebration?” he asked, tipping his head in Billy’s direction.
She grinned. They hadn’t kept the fact that they were back together much of a secret. “Nah, more of a memorial—for the billboard.”
The expression on her customer’s face turned worried. “I’m sorry I told you about that.”
She shrugged. “I was going to find out one way or the other.”
“Yeah, but you seemed upset.”
“I was.” She scrunched her nose. Heck, she’d gone a bit off the deep end. “I was sad to see it go, but a lot of good things came out of it.”
She glanced at Billy who was still talking with Skeeter.
A lot of good things.
Her gaze raked over him from his gorgeous baby face to the way his Sturgis T-shirt clung to his muscled chest. Her mouth watered. Then there was that tattoo and
the sexy cuff on his wrist. Those tricky hands and the tight ass…
“Whew.” She flipped her hair back. “Is it warm in here?”
“I’m okay,” Roux said.
He was bent down over the napkin again. Twisting her head to see it, Roxie made out the Cobalt River with a city skyline. “Hey, you’re pretty good.”
He shrugged. “Not as good as my mom.”
“Oh yeah? My mom could draw, too.”
He glanced up. “Could?”
“Probably still can. I don’t know. She gave me up long ago.”
His pen jerked, leaving a line that didn’t blend. “Gave you up?”
“Yeah, I grew up in foster care.
“Hey!” Roxie called when she saw Charlie walk in the door. She hurried over to greet him. When he held out his arms, she walked into them and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks for watching the bar while I was gone this past week. I know you just retired. You probably didn’t expect to be back so soon.”
“Anything to see you two kids back together.” Her old boss patted her shoulder. “Nobody’s going to punch anyone tonight, I hope.”
Roxie made a face at Billy when he ducked and weaved. “Not unless he gets fresh with one of my sisters again.”
Grinning, Billy patted her on the butt. Heat went through her when he hooked his thumb in her back pocket and left his hand there. “I know which one’s my girl.”
Charlie took off his jacket and passed it to the bartender, who put it on the hook he’d used for years. “Are you finished with the move?”
Billy nodded. “We fit most everything in my truck. Sold some stuff and donated other things.”
“It must be hard to leave those race cars and all that technology.”
“I’d only been there for a year and a half—and that was longer than I’ve spent most places. You know me, Charlie. I’ve been a vagabond ever since I left Cobalt City.”
Roxie felt herself on the verge of blushing when Billy wiggled his fingers against her ass. He’d convinced her in many ways that he was ready to come home.
“It will be good to be settled,” he said.
Settled, but not settling.
“Are you going to open your own shop?”
Roxie Page 19
