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No Man Left Behind: A Veteran Inspired Charity Anthology

Page 18

by Elizabeth Knox


  Bug barks at me as my mom calls me down for dinner. Shaking my head as I get out of bed and head downstairs, I realize dating is the least of my concerns right now, living is. I skim my hand along the railing, looking at pictures from my rodeo days and a brilliant idea pops into my mind. I know what I’m going to do with my life—I’m getting back into barrel racing.

  The aroma of the dumplings hits me as I hit the bottom of the stairs, so much so I can practically taste them. I know I’m drooling and with good reason. My mom makes the best dumplings but as I walk into the dining room my eyes land on Bear Franklin sitting at the dinner table and suddenly the dumplings aren’t the only reason I’m drooling anymore.

  Holy fuck he’s gotten hot over the years. Time has really worked for him.

  Bear smirks in my direction as I take a seat.

  “You look good,” he says with a wink as a sly smile tugs at the corner of his lips. It’s obvious he’s gotten cocky over the years.

  “Thanks,” I reply as warmth spreads over my cheeks. Holy shit. I’m blushing! What the hell? I don’t think I’ve ever blushed because of a man before.

  “Chance and Bear work for me,” Dad says from where he stands, coming in the back door.

  “Chance saw me,” I inform him as he starts walking through the kitchen and passes the sink. From where I sit, I can see part of the kitchen and even back yard.

  “Hands first,” Mom chastises him as he passes the sink. She’s always kept a firm house and washing our hands before we eat has always been a staple in our household.

  “Yes, ma’am.” He grins and turns on the water, lathers his hands up with the lavender soap my mom’s been obsessed with for years, and proceeds to wash his hands in the sink.

  Mystic rubbing up against Bear’s leg causes me to divert my eyes, and he reaches down to scratch her ears. She hates everyone, so that’s weird. I don’t even think the cat likes me most of the time, and when she does it’s probably because I’m the one filling her bowl. And I only do that when she pushes the bowl over, spilling what’s left in it all over the floor, she does that because she can see the bottom of her bowl. Jerk. She should know by now she’s not going to starve.

  “What will you do now that you’re home?” Bear asks, his voice husky and silky all at the same time.

  “I don’t know. Kind of wrapping my head around not having a schedule. I think I’d like to help with the horses, maybe get back into barrel racing.” I look at my dad. I’m almost panicking, I’ve always had a schedule, I know from sunup until sundown what I’m supposed to do but that’s gone. Oh God, I have to pick out my own clothes. See, panic. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself.

  “We could use the help. We’re doing a huge cattle drive with some of the other neighboring ranches to move some herds to the other side of the mountain. Could use some help on that,” Dad tells me as he takes a seat, ready to dig into the deliciousness Mom made for us.

  “I’d love to.” As soon as the words slip past my lips fear rushes through me. Now I’m scared, I haven’t been on a horse in years.

  “Like riding a bike.” Chance winks at me. Well shit, I must have said that out loud.

  “Eat up and welcome home, Sienna. We sure missed you,” Mom says and all the guys echo it.

  I still don’t know how I feel about being home but I’m sure over time things will start to feel a bit more normal. Mom uncovers the dishes on the table and passes them one by one to Dad, who then passes them to Bear and then myself. As my eyes land on his I can’t help but remember the first time I met Bear and Chance.

  Chapter Eight

  Sienna

  Eighteen years ago . . .

  First day of high school

  I’m excited. Only three more years until I’m done and can blow this popsicle stand.

  I put my backpack in my locker and grab my first period book when I hear a ruckus in the hallway and I see my new boyfriend, Hawke, arguing with two guys I’ve never seen before.

  “What’s going on?” I ask him.

  “Just a misunderstanding,” Hawke growls.

  “Only for you. Scores don’t lie,” one of the guys says. He has dark chocolate colored hair and green eyes with amber flakes. And a winning smile, not that I’m really looking.

  “Fuck you, Chance,” Hawke snarls.

  “Hey. Let the scores lie until the next rodeo,” the other guy says. He’s huge, black hair and eyes that remind me of a winter sky. God, he’s gorgeous.

  “Fine,” Hawke says as he storms off.

  “Sorry about that,” the guy named Chance says to me when everyone heads to class.

  “I’m not even sure what happened,” I admit.

  “He said we stole the last rodeo. That Bear’s dad paid off the officials.”

  “Seriously?” I snort. “Does that even happen?”

  “No, but he had a poor ride and he is trying to blame someone,” the guy named Bear says.

  “I’m sorry he’s being a spoiled sport,” I whisper.

  “It’s alright. You’re Sienna, then?” Chance asks.

  I nod.

  “My dad has a meeting with your dad to expand his cattle business,” Bear says.

  “Oh cool.”

  “See you around.” They wave as they head to class.

  I guess I’ll be seeing them around a lot if his dad does business with mine.

  Chapter Nine

  Sienna

  Present Day . . .

  Bug barks at me and jumps on the bed, waking me up, covering my face in sweet doggy kisses until I push her away.

  I know it’s early and I’m surprised I’m not up yet. I never sleep in, it was always ingrained in my brain from the beginning of basic training to be early. Ten minutes to formation is late was my saying.

  “Morning, girl.” I pat her head and let her go so she can wrestle with Mystic while I roll out of bed, stretching, glancing out the window before heading to the shower.

  I shower and dress. Nothing fancy, we’re simple folk around here and I’m going to get dirty anyways, mucking stalls, shoveling cow and horse shit. After another glance at myself in the mirror, I bound down to the kitchen to find Bear pouring a cup of coffee.

  “Morning.” He hands me his cup and pours another one with a once over me as he smirks.

  “Morning.” I blush again. What the hell?

  “Chance and your dad are riding fences with Hank and Chuck, they’re the other hands your dad hired,” he says.

  “Oh, okay,” I mutter.

  “I’ll help you with the stalls,” he says and smiles at me.

  “Ummm okay,” I murmur, because getting dirty with Bear is not something I want to do unless it’s between the sheets. But that will never happen.

  Let me remind you of how hot Bear is. He could be a model, a book cover model, even a model on a magazine. Yeah, he’s that hot. His eyes are hypnotizing, his body tight. I’m sure you could bounce a quarter off his abs, his hair is longer but dark and lush, like you could run your fingers through it lush. His lips look so kissable and are probably soft, and now I’m rambling.

  I finish my coffee and put it in the sink trying to still my beating heart before following him out to the barn as my mom starts breakfast, she sticks a carrot in my pocket as I pass her. We do most of the work before breakfast or try to and then we all eat together. In fact my parents make it mandatory that we eat breakfast and dinner together. Lunch usually is grab and go since there is lots to do on the farm.

  Bear hands me a rake and shovel and nods to the first stall.

  I know why he sent me to this one. This is my horse. We don’t ride him anymore, but he’s still around.

  Thunder.

  “Hey, buddy,” I say softly. His brown eyes flick to mine and he puts his head over the stall and lets me pet him.

  I pull the carrot out of my pocket and open the stall, handing him the carrot as I lead him to the outdoor paddock. He follows me, nudging me, wanting attention. Horses are just like other p
ets.

  “I’ll come back and spend time with you after breakfast,” I tell him as I kiss his muzzle and send him on his way to socialize with the other horses

  I can’t believe he is still alive, he’s been around for a long time.

  “He’s waiting for you,” Bear says as I wipe a tear when I step out.

  “What?” I wheel around on him.

  “He hasn’t been well, but I think he was waiting on you,” he says.

  That makes me sad. He’s waited all these years for me and I only came home a few times during my time in the service. I feel so selfish right now.

  I someday want to own my own horse ranch and open it up to veterans, like equine therapy. Animal therapy helps a lot of veterans with PTSD. And I want to help others.

  But it sucks when a family pet dies. Granted Thunder doesn’t live inside the house, but he’s a part of the family. When he dies, I’ll lose a little bit of my heart, I don’t know how I’ll survive.

  “Hey.” Bear stops what he’s doing because now I’m breaking down.

  “I’m sorry.” I wipe the tears. Honestly, I don’t know why I’m really crying. No, that’s a lie, I do, I don’t want Thunder to die. I bring Thunder in from the paddock and give him some oats and try to start on the next stall while sobbing.

  “Just spend some time with him.” Bear takes the shovel from me and pushes me back in with Thunder and I spend time with him, talking to him, brushing him, and hugging him. I do this until Bear comes and gets me for breakfast.

  Of course, Ava is at the table. I bristle but try not to show it.

  “Where’s Hawke?” I ask. Might as well get it all out there.

  “What?” She tries to act innocent but I don’t buy it, my time in the military made it easier to spot a lie and a liar.

  “I saw you last night leaving Walmart,” I state.

  “Shit.” Chance takes his plate from my mom and heads back outside, I guess he doesn’t want to be here when shit starts to fly.

  “Sienna,” Ava starts.

  “You know? I shouldn’t be mad at all. I mean it’s been so long. I should have been over him years ago. I should have seen the signs. But you know what sucks is that you act like you’re my friend when all along you were shacking up with him. The adult thing to do would be to just tell me. So, tell me, when?”

  Ava looks stricken, but I don’t care. I could care less right now. I’m the one she betrayed not the other way around.

  “Right after you left that day,” she says sadly.

  “Thanks for being honest. Now, get out!”

  “Sienna!” she cries out, as I start shoving her to the door.

  “You will always be my friend, Ava, but I’m going to need time. Don’t call me, I’ll call you,” I tell her as I shut the door right in her face and as childish as it is, that felt satisfying.

  I walk back into the kitchen and everyone at the table just stares at me.

  “You’d forgive her after that?” Chance asks, guess he came back inside.

  “It would be childish not to,” I reply. I’ve learned that life is too short and while I’m pissed, I still care for her.

  “True, but . . .” Chance says and I hold up my hand.

  I wave him off. “It was a long time ago. Could she have been honest with me, yes. She wasn’t. And that will take some time, she will have to earn it.”

  “That’s my girl.” My dad beams.

  “Why didn’t you hire Hawke?” I ask Dad.

  He shares a look with the others. “He was in some trouble, did some prison time.”

  “Hawke did prison time?” I blink.

  “Yeah. He lost at a rodeo and was out of a job at the time and he tried to rob a gas station,” Bear says.

  “He didn’t do much time, but he did time. He couldn’t hold a job after high school and he wasn’t doing well at the rodeos. And we all know you have to pay to play. Ava stuck it out with him, in fact they have a kid.” Chance drops that bombshell on me.

  “Wow,” I mumble, as I slump into my seat. I can’t believe Hawke has a kid.

  “He’s not worth your time,” Dad says and maybe he’s right. No, I know he’s right.

  “I think I’ll take Thunder for a walk to the meadow.” I stand and take my plate to the sink, not really hungry anymore.

  “Bug.” She comes running. I put a halter on Thunder and we walk a short walk to this meadow filled with wildflowers that Thunder loves. I wonder if animals have bucket lists and what would be on it if they did.

  Some people do. I don’t, not really. There are things I want to do before I leave this earth and I hope I get to do them, is that a bucket list?

  I think my mission is to spend time with Thunder and give him the things he would love before he leaves this earth.

  Even Bug is getting up there in age, and the day she goes will be devastating. Same with Thunder, he and Bug are my life.

  I let go of Thunder’s halter and he runs around and rolls, like he was a small colt as Bug chases him. I laugh at their antics, acting like youngsters. It makes me happy and breaks my heart all at the same time.

  They play and run and act like the years haven’t crept up on them and that is worth everything.

  I take a seat on the ground, leaning up against a tree and watch, tears welling up in my eyes knowing that soon they will leave me and I know I won’t be okay with that, though I will try to move on.

  “He looks happy.” I feel him before I see him, but I still jump.

  “Sorry.” Bear smiles at me.

  “That’s all that matters,” I reply.

  “This is the most active he’s been. That’s because of you. He loves you,” Bear says as he takes a seat next to me.

  I wish others loved me, meaning people, but it’s hard to love someone that is anxious and closed off.

  But the love of a pet is deep.

  “I love him. I’m sorry I was gone so long,” I say softly.

  “You did what you had to do.” He shifts closer, so close I can’t breathe.

  I am having a panic attack, oh god. I’m a mess.

  He’s going to reach for me and I’m going to freak.

  This is why I’ll never find love. I think this as Thunder walks right to me and puts his muzzle on my head.

  “Sometimes animals need us, just as much as we need them. If you can love them, you can love someone. You have a heart, Sienna,” he says as he stands and disappears into the trees.

  Thunder and Bug must have sensed that I needed them, because Bug crawls in my lap as Thunder just nuzzles my head.

  And I know that I’m not the only person that needs this kind of love. Everyone should experience this kind of love. I have brothers and sisters in arms that are worse than me and they need the love of an animal, it’s healing.

  “Come on. Let’s go home. I’ll give you an extra helping of oats.”

  I don’t need to hold onto his halter, he will follow me.

  And now I have two missions.

  This is what keeps me grounded, a purpose. And I want my dream to come true, even if it is still at home.

  As I walk back to the house, I remember the day Bear met Thunder.

  Chapter Ten

  Sienna

  Nineteen years ago . . .

  Bear Franklin is a constant in my life. I can’t shake him. He is super nice and sweet, all the girls love him, and yet he’s still single. I’ve always wondered why because he can have anyone he wants.

  He likes to ask me out in front of Hawke, which pisses Hawke off.

  He knows I won’t say yes, both of them know that. Bear just likes to piss my boyfriend off.

  But ever since his dad and mine started a cattle business together, he’s everywhere.

  “Sienna, dinner will be ready in a minute,” Mom calls as I head to the barn.

  “Be right back,” I yell back.

  I want to see Thunder, my new horse. He’s still too young to ride, but I love him already.

  I step insid
e his stall and he whinnies. I reach out to touch him and hear a noise that startles both of us and my foot gets stepped on.

  “Shit, I’m sorry,” Bear says, opening the stall to help me up.

  “I’m fine,” I snap and Thunder takes notice.

  “Whoa, little fella. I’m not trying to hurt her.” He reaches out to stroke Thunder’s muzzle.

  “I just got him,” I state, reaching out to soothe Thunder. He’s so pretty with gentle eyes.

  “I heard.” He gives me a weird look.

  I don’t know how to process that.

  “Congrats, he’s beautiful,” he says absently.

  “Can I ask you something?” I ask him, turning to face him, even though looking at him is like looking at Medusa, you freeze but not because he’s ugly, oh no just the opposite.

  “Yeah.”

  “Why do you do that to Hawke?” I ask him and he raises his brows.

  “Asking you out?” he asks and I nod.

  “Because he doesn’t deserve you,” he says and stalks off before I can say anything else.

  Who cares who I date? I’m the nerd, the quiet wallflower. If it wasn’t for Ava I’d be bullied.

  Who cares? Why would Bear care?

  Chapter Eleven

  Sienna

  Present Day . . .

  Bear is in the barn when I get back and I turn on him.

  “You gave me Thunder, didn’t you?” I ask as he spins around to face me.

  He blinks as I stare him down.

  “Yes,” he says.

  “What?” I didn’t think that would be the answer, I only thought he gave him to me, but wasn’t for sure. Just a hunch.

  “I bought Thunder for you,” he reiterates.

 

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