“Why?”
“Because you needed him.” He shrugs, like buying a horse for someone is an everyday occurrence.
“I needed him?”
And I stop. Yeah, maybe I did. I needed something. I was fighting with Hawke at the time and he was probably already shacking up with Ava. I don’t know, I’m just assuming. And I was slowly withdrawing from everyone.
Well fuck.
“Why do you care? I’m nothing. I never was. I was a nerd, quiet, fat, and nothing has changed.” I go to storm off when he grabs my arm and wheels me around, kissing me. Bear Franklin is kissing me.
He lets me go as Bug starts barking at him, clawing at his leg, she must think he’s hurting me since he grabbed my arm. Good girl.
“She’s very protective,” he murmurs.
“She is.” I nod because I can’t form words at this moment.
“Dinner,” Mom yells and I’m thankful for the distraction.
“I missed lunch,” I grumble.
“No one cared that you were gone. We get it,” he says with a chuckle.
“You owe your roll.” I roll my eyes.
Bear Franklin kissed me. I’m still trying to process that and work up the nerve to bring up my proposal to my dad. Of all people my dad would understand better than anyone.
My mom made chili tonight and cornbread and my mouth is watering. My mom’s cornbread is the best in the state and that’s not a lie, she wins at the state fair every year. People from all over the States ask for her recipe but she won’t give it up, instead she makes a batch and will send it to those that ask, free of charge. My mom has a big heart.
“I’m starving,” I say as I wash my hands, knowing that if I try to sit at the table before doing it, I will be chastised for it.
“That’s good.” Mom smiles at me.
I sit down in my seat as Mystic rubs against me and I quickly pat her head, I know I’ve been ignoring her and that’s not fair.
“I’ll show you the barn tomorrow,” I tell her and she meows at me.
Talk is light and when there is a lull, I gather all my courage to talk about my mission, the one that will give me piece of mind as well.
I say mission because that’s how I operate. And I’m scared right now. My dad is a scary man and I’ve been to combat.
“Dad?” I ask timidly.
“Yes?” He pats his face with his napkin before giving me his attention.
“I have something I want to talk about,” I start.
“Go on,” he says.
“I want to start a veteran equine therapy program,” I say softly.
No one talks, I can see Dad working it over in his mind. He stares up at the ceiling for a minute, maybe trying to think of a way to turn me down or he’s thinking of his friends from the service.
“I think it’s a great idea,” Bear breaks the silence.
“I agree,” my dad says. “We have some land that we can build another barn and house on it.”
Wait what? He has land? Where?
“You have more land? You want to build a house?” I’m really trying to wrap my head around what he said.
“Yeah, for you.” Dad smiles.
“What?” I repeat. I might be having a stroke since I can’t seem to form words.
“We want you to have your own space.” Mom pats my knee.
“In fact, Chance already has a crew started,” Dad says. He’s already started building me a house?
“What?” I whisper, it’s too much.
I don’t know what to do but run and I do, right out the house into the barn, straight to Thunder, my rock.
Thunder puts his head on mine and I breathe.
This is why I want to do this, to start this. This will give other veterans something to do, to look forward to and a reason to live.
“Sienna?” Bear asks.
I can’t deal with him right now as well so I ignore him and keep stroking Thunder’s muzzle.
“I want to see if you want to go on a date with me?” he asks and my spine straightens.
He’s asking me out?
“What?” I don’t seem to know any other word right now.
“Go out with me,” he says, holding a hand out to me and I just seem to stare at it.
“Where are we going?”
“We can bring Thunder.” He winks as he saddles up Tex, another horse.
He then puts a halter on Thunder and attaches a lead to it, tying it to the saddle of Tex’s.
He mounts and holds out his hand to me and I blink, not sure if I want to take it.
“Where are we going?” I ask him, not sure if I should trust him. But I take it anyways, taking a leap of faith.
“You’ll see,” he says as we start through the forest and hit the trail. One I know well.
There’s a lake out here that kids go to and drink.
I see a fire ahead and know there’s a party.
“Bear?” I turn in the saddle to look at him.
“Just a few friends,” he says, but that doesn’t help, I’m nervous.
What will people say now? Do they think I’m a failure? Will they laugh at me because I pined for a guy that was shacking up with my best friend?
“It’s why I brought Thunder,” he whispers in my ear, his breath a caress and I shiver, feeling things I haven’t felt since before I left for the military. I’m screwed if I keep hanging around Bear.
“Thunder?” I ask him.
“I knew you would be nervous,” he says.
“Thank you,” I say as we dismount. Thunder always calms me so it was nice of Bear to think of bringing him.
“You got her to come,” Chance says while he hands me a beer.
“I didn’t know this is where I was coming,” I say as Chance chuckles.
I can see it’s a small gathering. Mostly people I grew up with, a few are from the circuit. Again, I follow most of them, some of the guys still ride, Chance and Bear don’t as often, but they have many championship belt buckles so they don’t really need to.
“Hey, Sienna,” Gladys calls out and I wave. She’s always been nice to me.
“Hey.” I take a seat next to her and she smiles.
“This is Mick,” she introduces the guy holding her hand.
“Nice to meet you,” I say and he nods.
“We met online,” she clarifies.
“Years ago, sweetheart.” Mick kisses her cheek.
“So it’s true? You met on one of those dating apps?” I ask her.
“It is and best decision I made.” She grins and I can’t help but smile. I’m happy for her. Guess those dating apps work for some people.
“We’re here,” I hear a male voice call out, “let the party begin.”
Hawke, holding Ava’s hand, rounds a group of guys and I freeze. And now everyone is staring.
Gladys glances at me and I just shrug, I don’t want anyone to see that him being here with her affects me in any way. I have to stay strong.
“Didn’t know this was a welcome home party,” Hawke states as he glances over at me.
“Don’t start asshole,” Chance says.
“I’m just welcoming the soldier home. Kill any babies when you were in?” Hawke sneers.
“What’s your problem?” I snap, jumping up from the log I’m sitting on, really wanting to punch him in the face for just breathing the same air as me.
“You are,” he yells at me.
“Don’t know why. Seems like you have everything you want.” I gesture to Ava.
“And you’re ruining that,” he growls at me.
“How?”
“By being here,” he yells at me, like a five-year-old. I have every right to be here.
“Grow up, Hawke,” I snarl back.
“Ava didn’t want to come, she thought you might be here. Guess you had to find out anyways. But now she wants to leave, to give you space. Like you own the town or some shit,” he shouts as Ava tries to pull him away from me.
“Fuck yo
u,” I yell at him.
“You wouldn’t, virgin,” he yells at me, and I feel like I’m back in high school again. I should have stayed home.
I don’t have anything else to say to that, I think I need to go home, to where I feel safe.
“Good to see you, Gladys.” I nod at her. “I’m happy for you.”
I turn and walk off, Thunder following behind me, ignoring the protests as I walk the trail I know so well. I can hear Chance and Bear arguing with Hawke but fuck it.
So really, he was pissed because I wouldn’t put out for him. Wow, that’s immature.
What a dick I can’t believe I loved him at all.
When I’m far enough away, I collapse on the ground, sobbing. It seems we can never leave high school behind.
Thunder nuzzles me and I look up at him.
“Thanks, buddy.” I rub his nose and stand up.
He stands there as I hug him. “Let’s go home.”
Once inside his stall he lays down and I curl up next to him, telling him stories of my soldiers.
Soon I fall asleep, but it’s nightmares that come.
Chapter Twelve
Sienna
Eight years ago . . .
This has been the worst deployment ever. Not that any deployment is great. But I’ve had to send five soldiers home, in coffins. Nothing prepares you for that.
The first time I had to stand and salute one of my soldiers on the tarmac I lost it. I had to be dragged away by another NCO.
This last one, I’m just numb. I’m worried I’m really broken like I will never have feelings again.
I tell civilians that my nightmares will give your nightmares nightmares and it’s true.
This is the last mission before we head home. And for some reason I feel uneasy.
If someone tells you they’re not scare to leave the FOB, forward operating base, they’re lying to you. Don’t believe them. We all feel nerves leaving the security of the FOB. Today feels off. It feels wrong. I can’t place it.
“Sergeant?”
“Yeah, sorry.” I am supposed to be helping check the security of the ties holding down our cargo.
“Looks good.” I grab my weapon and climb into the truck, giving my okay to the NCO in charge.
“Tunes today?” My soldier asks. We have several playlists to pass the time on missions.
My soldier, Rench, he’s a good kid. He does what he’s told and he does it with a smile. Even after I leave the military, I can see him going far in this life. He’s made for it.
“I don’t know. Surprise me.” I give him a tight smile. He doesn’t ask what I’m feeling, but he knows I’m feeling something. I don’t want to make him as nervous as I am.
Metal starts blaring out of the mini portable speaker hooked to his iPod and I smile a little bit.
I keep my eyes on the road and my weapon at the ready.
I see a white truck on a ridge and it seems to be following us. Right as I start to call it over the radio, a huge explosion happens. Rench hits the brakes, as the five vehicles in front of us go up in flames.
“Cover me,” I yell at him and toss him the radio to monitor. I’m yelling into the other one for a medic and letting battalion know what’s going on.
I don’t need a medic once I’m closer, we need a wagon to take the bodies home, more like body parts. I want to throw up at the stench, but I hold it together. The vehicles are obliterated, nothing left.
“Sergeant?”
“They’re gone. We need to secure the scene and wait for help,” I say numbly. I want to cry but I don’t have it in me. This is just shit.
I go to head back to my truck when I feel a sharp pain in my back. I turn and Rench is looking at me with fear in his eyes as he and the medic rush at me, while another soldier covers us, trying to get me back in the truck so we can move to safety.
I’ve been shot, I don’t need him to tell me that. His face says it all. And it hurts like a motherfucker.
“Sergeant! Stay with me!” Rench yells at me but I’m fading or dying. I can’t keep my eyes open.
“Tell them top left corner of the building,” I whisper as I hear the planes flying over.
“Keep your eyes open,” the medic is yelling at me.
That’s the last thing I remember.
Chapter Thirteen
Sienna
Present Day . . .
I wake up with a start and to Mystic tapping my face with her paw and Thunder nuzzling me.
I hated that deployment. When I woke up, I was in Germany. The bullet, thankfully, missed my spine.
And I haven’t even told my parents about that.
Sometimes it hurts to bend over or sleep. And sleeping out here sure didn’t help. But I needed it.
“How did you get out here?” I laugh a little bit as Mystic takes another swipe and then goes to check out Thunder. He’s so sweet with little animals. Soon, Mystic is laying on his back, asleep.
“I let her out,” Dad says, looking over the stall door.
“Oh. Sorry about yesterday.”
“I get it, I’ve been there. It takes time, and there are groups. But what you want to do, helping veterans, that takes guts.”
“I ran out because this is all so new to me. I’m finding out a lot of firsts and trying to navigate my life,” I admit. Because not knowing what I need to do for the day or have anyone to tell the agenda to really messes with my head.
“I understand and soon everyone else will get it. When were you going to tell us about getting shot?”
My eyes go wide. Oh shit.
“You were having a nightmare. I could hear you from the house. Good thing your mom is a deep sleeper. But also a friend of yours showed up and we had a long talk. You calmed down when Mystic laid down with you.”
“Love of my cat.” I pet her head and get up.
“Wait, a friend?” I stop in my tracks, I don’t have friends.
“He’s in the house,” he says as I follow him inside.
“I’ll make some coffee,” my dad says as I head to the living room.
“Rench?”
“I came to check on you.” He wrings his hands nervously.
“Ummm, I’m good. I promise. What are you doing here? Besides checking on me.” I gesture to the kitchen where we can sit and talk.
“Nowhere else to go, to be honest. I found your dad’s business online and contacted him for work,” he says as Dad hands me a cup of coffee.
“Rench . . .”
“It’s Cade,” he corrects me with a chuckle.
“Cade, I’m not sure what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. It’s my call and we help our own, don’t we?” My dad gives me a look. Yeah, that’s true we help our own, family or not.
“Yeah, we do.” I nod with a smile.
“You should tell Cade about your equine therapy ranch and then we can drive out there, so you can see the progress.” Dad pats my head and heads back out to the barn. I can hear him yelling at Mystic to stay out of the chicken coop and I chuckle.
“Sit.” I gesture to the table and he sits after accepting a cup of coffee from me.
“Look, I didn’t know how to get a hold of you. I’m sorry for just showing up. I promise this isn’t to tell you I love you or anything.”
I laugh at that. I don’t mean to but no one is going to profess their love for me. He looks genuine, though, and if he needs help, we’ll help him. One more mouth to feed is nothing.
“It’s alright. Dad needs the help. I hope you know what you’re getting into,” I warn with a smile.
“I did some research before heading out this way. But I’m serious. You were always a friend, probably one of the only ones I’ve had and I knew you would help. Oh, I met Bear.”
“You what?” I almost choke on my coffee.
Cade snorts, “He was here when I pulled in. He seems to really like you.”
“I don’t know,” I say because I don’t. I’m lying to myself, yeah
he does. He bought you a horse, kissed you. He is single, I think.
“Tell me about your project,” he says, changing the subject and I sigh with relief. Talking about my feelings for Bear is not something I want to dive into with anyone.
“I want to open an equine therapy ranch for veterans. Give them something to look forward to. The love of an animal can help heal, it has helped me a little bit.”
Except for touch. I haven’t really let anyone touch me.
“That sounds cool. I’d like to help,” he says and I nod.
“I guess we need to see what my dad has going on. He’s building a barn, an arena, and a house for me. Still on the property but I’m not sure where.”
“Let’s go.” He jumps up and offers his hand. Bear chooses that moment to walk in and I swear he growls.
“Just offering a hand,” Cade says as he winks at me.
“I’ll take you to your house,” Bear says.
He might like me, but we’re not together. Would I want to be? I don’t know the answer to that. If I can’t have someone touch me, even hug me, a relationship would never work.
Plus he could have tons of girlfriends.
We pile into this really nice truck Bear won at a rodeo, one that I watched on TV. He drives down behind the barn and onto a trail that only a truck or jeep would be able to get down and we come to a small clearing right along the river that runs into that small pond. The barn is already up and the frame of the house is almost together.
“They work fast,” I say quietly.
“Your dad picked this spot out a while ago, before you got home. He knew you would want to be close,” Bear says as we file out.
“The barn has a small office where you can conduct all your business. We have filed the paperwork for a non-profit organization and filed for a business license for you. We filled out the paperwork with the name Veteran Equine Farm. If you don’t like the name we picked you can change it,” Bear says, taking my hand as we walk to the barn. The perks of living in a small town and everyone knows you including lawyers and officials.
“I don’t know, isn’t this fast? I mean I just told you guys about this.”
“We worked fast to bring your dream to life,” Bear says and I nod as we walk around the barn.
No Man Left Behind: A Veteran Inspired Charity Anthology Page 19
