by R. L. Stine
That was true.
“Don’t ask him what he wants,” Dad said. “He has a list of at least a hundred PlayStation games.” Dad chuckled. “I told him we were buying him pajamas.”
“He didn’t think that was funny,” Mom added.
“Nicole, did you want to stay for dinner?” Dad asked. “We want to hear all about the cooking show tryout.”
“No, you don’t!” I exclaimed. “Believe me. You don’t.”
“Thanks. But I’d better get home,” Nicole said. I knew she didn’t want to be around when I explained the disaster at the TV studio to my parents.
Mom shook her head. “I can’t believe we invited ten of Toby’s friends for his birthday party Saturday morning. The house will never be the same. We’ll have to move!”
I laughed. That was a pretty good joke for Mom.
Or was she joking?
“Sascha, will you be able to help out with Toby’s party?” Dad asked.
Would I like to cut off my nose and duct-tape it to the back of my head?
“Uh … I’m not sure,” I said. Which meant definitely no.
Mom and Dad finally went back downstairs.
Nicole and I dropped down to the floor and peered at the big puddle of Monster Blood under the bed. I gasped. “It’s still growing. What are we going to do with this?”
“We’ll have to take it back to the store tomorrow,” Nicole said. “There’s something wrong with it. That freak Bardo has to take it back.”
We pulled our gloves back on. Then we ducked under the bed and began to scoop up the Monster Blood. It stuck to the carpet, and we had to work like crazy to scrape it out.
“Now what do we do with it?” Nicole demanded. “It’s way too big for the can it came in.”
We both stared at the shiny green goo for a long moment. “Wait right here,” I said. I climbed to my feet and ran across the hall to my room.
I lifted my backpack off the bed and carried it into Toby’s room. “We’ll just stuff it in here,” I said. I pulled open the flap. “Then it will be easy to carry to the toy store after school tomorrow.”
“Just remember not to put your books in there,” Nicole warned.
I snickered. “Good advice.”
It was a struggle. But we managed to push every drop of the sticky gunk into the backpack. I closed the flap and carefully snapped the latch. Then I hung it on my closet door.
“Sascha—dinnertime!” Mom’s shout burst up from the kitchen downstairs.
Nicole sighed and wiped sweat off her forehead. “Well, this was an adventure,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“I’ve had enough adventure for one day,” I said.
I walked Nicole downstairs. “Can you come to the toy store with me after school tomorrow?” I asked. “I really don’t want to be in that creepy place alone.”
“No prob,” she said, and headed out the door.
Dinner wasn’t any fun. I had to tell my parents why Nicole and I were kicked out of the tryout.
“But you should have told the producers what Nathan and Ashli did to you,” Dad said. “You should have—”
“Don’t listen to him,” Mom interrupted. “You did the right thing. Those two kids would just deny it. And you had no proof.”
“Nathan’s father cheats at poker,” Dad said. “I caught him dealing from under the deck twice.”
Mom frowned at him. “Let’s change the subject,” she said. Mom doesn’t like unpleasantness of any kind.
“Yeah. Let’s talk about my birthday,” Toby said. His face was covered in spaghetti sauce. He eats like a dog, with his face in the plate. “How many games are you getting me?”
I tuned out and somehow made it through dinner.
I did a little homework. Then I went to bed early. What a stressful day. It made my bones feel tired! So many things went wrong. First the disaster at the TV show. Then the Monster Blood mess with Toby …
I just wanted to drift off to sleep and escape for a while.
But just as I was fading away, a sound across my room brought me back. I sat up, instantly alert.
I held my breath and listened.
Gurgle … gurrrrgle … squish …
Wet sucking sounds. Like in a swamp or something.
Like a gurgling stomach when you’re hungry.
Gurrrgle … gurgle … squish … squish …
I wrapped the pillow around my head, but I couldn’t block out the horrifying sounds …
Gurrrgle … gurgle … squish … squish …
The next day at school, Nicole and I ran into Nathan in the hall outside the lunchroom. We quickly turned to go the other way. But he had already seen us.
A sick grin crossed his face. “Hey,” he said. “Are you going in to lunch? I hear you girls like spicy food.” He laughed. He thinks he’s a riot.
“Haha,” I said sarcastically. “You’re not funny, Nathan. You’re sick.”
“Cheaters don’t win,” Nicole said through gritted teeth.
“Of course they do!” Nathan shot back. “But … I don’t know any cheaters.”
“I’m looking at one,” Nicole replied. “We know what you did.”
“You owe us big-time, Nathan,” I said. “For not snitching on you and Ashli.”
Nathan shrugged. “Should I know what you’re talking about? Because I don’t.”
I raised both fists. I wanted to pound him. I wanted to smash the sick grin off his face.
“You know what would be cool?” Nathan said. “After we win the TV contest … Ashli and I could come over and give you both cooking lessons.” His grin spread across his face.
Somehow, I kept myself from hitting him. I guess it’s because I’m a nonviolent person.
I let out an angry groan. Then I pushed Nathan out of the way, and Nicole and I strode into the lunchroom. We were both steaming. “What a jerk. My stomach is one big knot,” Nicole said. “How am I supposed to eat?”
“We’ll find a way to pay those two cheaters back,” I said. “I know we will.”
But I didn’t have any ideas. Even though I thought about it the rest of the afternoon.
I was still daydreaming about revenge when the final bell rang. I gathered up my stuff and turned to Nicole. “Are you coming with me to the toy store?”
She nodded. “Yes. Let’s DO this!”
We hurried out of the classroom, turned down the front hall, and headed toward my locker.
I was nearly there when I stopped short. A gasp escaped my throat. And then I opened my mouth in a scream of horror.
I gripped Nicole’s arm and gaped at the wide green puddle on the floor in front of my locker. “Oh nooooo.” I knew at once what it was.
The Monster Blood.
I’d left the backpack in my locker, and now the green goo was oozing down the front of the locker from the vents in the door. And spreading out in a thick puddle on the hall floor. I should have known the backpack wouldn’t hold it.
I heard startled cries all around …
“Eeeuuw! Somebody was sick!”
“Ohh, it reeks.”
“Do you believe it? Someone puked all over that locker.”
Ashli stopped to gawk at the mess. She grinned at us. “Looks like someone else tried to sample your food!” She hurried away, laughing at her own dumb joke.
Kids stepped out of the way as they passed. They were eager to leave school, so they hurried away from the mess.
Ploppppp.
I gasped as a big blob of it pushed out of the locker and smacked the floor.
My whole body shuddered. “It’s—it’s totally out of control. What are we going to do?”
“I think I have something we can put it in,” Nicole said. “I’ll be right back.” She took off running down the hall.
I crossed my arms in front of me to keep from shaking. More kids hurried past. Nathan came walking up. He squinted at the green puddle. “Whoa! Sascha? Are you sick? What did you eat for lunch?”
“I didn’t do that!
” I snapped.
He shrugged and strutted away.
Nicole returned carrying a big black canvas tote bag. “It was in the science lab,” she explained. “I carried my project to school in it.”
“It’s big enough,” I said.
“And look.” Nicole held up two metal scoops. “I found these in there, too.”
“Great. Let’s hurry,” I said. “We don’t know when the toy store closes.”
We dropped to our knees and began scooping the Monster Blood off the floor and emptying it into the big tote bag. It wasn’t easy to scoop. The gunk clung to the floor, and it stuck to the scoops.
It made sick plopping and squishing sounds as we dumped it into the bag. I opened the locker door, and a tall wave of Monster Blood came pouring out.
“This is … impossible,” I said, sighing. “That toy store guy better give us our money back.”
Somehow Nicole had Monster Blood tangled in a thick strand of her black hair. She struggled to pull it out with both hands.
“This stuff is dangerous,” I said. I turned to help her. I held the strand of hair and plucked at the green goo. “That guy Bardo is putting the public in danger.”
“Let’s just get the Monster Blood back to him,” Nicole said, sweeping her hair behind her head.
I can’t say how long we worked. It seemed like years. The hall was empty by the time we had all the Monster Blood stuffed into the tote bag.
The bag didn’t have a zipper, so we couldn’t completely close it. We fastened the snaps on the flap as best we could. I slammed the locker door shut, and we made our way to the exit.
It was a gray day, dark clouds hanging low overhead. The air felt steamy wet, as if rain was on the way.
I tried to carry the bulging bag in one hand, but it was too heavy. So I pulled the straps over my shoulder and walked with it under my arm.
We crossed the street and started up the next block. A soccer ball came bouncing in front of us, and I nearly tripped over it. I grabbed the bag tightly against my side to keep any gunk from spilling out. Some boys from the elementary school came running after the ball.
“Want me to carry it for a while?” Nicole was still pulling at her hair.
“I’m okay,” I said. “It’s a short walk.” I remembered the toy store was about two blocks from the TV studio where we had our kitchen disaster.
On the lawn across from us, two squirrels were battling over an acorn. Nicole and I were less than three feet away, and they didn’t seem to care. One squirrel stuffed the nut into its mouth and stood daring the other to do something about it.
“Squirrels are rodents,” I said. “But everyone thinks they’re adorable.”
Nicole didn’t reply. She stared ahead to the next block, searching for the toy store. The bag began to feel heavier and heavier. I was glad we were approaching the store.
Only it wasn’t at the next corner.
“I could swear this was the block,” Nicole said, scratching her head.
I set the bag down on the sidewalk to rest my aching shoulder. I peered across the street. The store on the corner was a dry cleaner. The store next to it was vacant.
“I guess it’s one more block,” I said. I felt a cold raindrop on my forehead. I hoisted up the tote bag. “Hurry. We don’t want to get drenched.”
The wind picked up, and I felt more raindrops on my head. We leaned into the whistling gusts and made our way down the block. We passed two houses that were dark and a small park with fresh tulips swaying from side to side in the wind.
“There it is, I think!” Nicole said, pointing.
But she was wrong. The corner store had a sign in front of its window: SHOE REPAIR WHILE-YOU-WAIT.
A small diner stood next to it, with a blinking neon sign over the door that said EATS & TREATS.
I set the bag down again. “I don’t remember those stores,” I said. I had a sudden heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach. “I’ve lived in this neighborhood forever and …” My voice trailed off.
“I’ve gone by here a hundred times,” Nicole said, squinting at the two stores. “I don’t remember seeing these stores at all.”
The rain began to patter the sidewalk. I pulled my jacket tighter. I wished I’d worn a hoodie or something to cover my head.
“Did we go the wrong way?” Nicole asked. She swung around and peered in the other direction. “No way. This is the right corner. But where’s that stupid toy store?” Her voice trembled.
I felt kind of shaky, too.
I gazed up at the dark sky. “We’re going to get soaked,” I said. “Maybe we should just go home and try tomorrow.”
Nicole opened her mouth to reply. But a loud shout made her stop.
We turned to see a man running full speed on the sidewalk, waving both hands and shouting at us. “Stop right there! Don’t MOVE!”
The man’s dark sports jacket whipped behind him in the wind. He crossed the street without looking for traffic, waving his arms frantically.
Heston Hill. Hess. From the TV show.
It took a short while to recognize him with his hair blowing wildly about his face. He stopped in front of us, gasping for breath. He bent forward and pressed his hands on his knees.
“You—you scared me,” I stammered.
“Me too,” Nicole said.
“Sorry.” He still hadn’t caught his breath. Finally, he stood up. He flattened his short hair down with one hand. “I was just so surprised to see you two.”
He brushed raindrops off his eyebrows. His gaze went from Nicole to me. “What are you doing here?”
“We had an errand to run,” I said, glancing at the tote bag beside me on the sidewalk.
“Well, this could be a stroke of luck,” he said. “You see, I have a problem. Maybe you two can help me with it.”
“Problem?” I said.
He let out a long whoosh of air. Despite the cool air, he was sweating. I could see he was in some kind of panic.
“Well … uh … You see,” he said. “We just started taping the show, and one of our cooking teams got sick.”
“Was it Nathan and Ashli?” I asked eagerly. I crossed my fingers.
“Not them,” Hess answered. “A new team. We had to send them home. And we have to do the first show today.”
He leaned forward and spoke in a soft voice, just above a whisper. As if he was telling us a secret. “Can you two step in and take their place?”
“Huh?” I gasped.
Nicole scrunched up her face. “Excuse me?”
Hess raised both hands, as if surrendering. “All is forgiven,” he said. “Seriously. What happened, happened. I’m sure it was an accident. We’ll just forget about it.”
I swallowed. I couldn’t believe what he was saying. “You want us to go be on the show now?” I said in a shrill voice.
“We can go back?” Nicole echoed my question.
Hess nodded. “Yes. Now. A fresh start. Only this is for real. Not a tryout. This is the real show.”
He pressed his hands together as if he was praying. “Will you do it?”
Guess what our answer was?
Well, well. The girls are going to get a second chance.
A second chance to mess up! Hahahaha.
How are they going to win? They wouldn’t dare cheat against Ashli and Nathan—would they?
They wouldn’t dare use Monster Blood to win that big-money prize.
That would be disgusting—wouldn’t it?
Do we want this story to turn disgusting?
Of course not! Hahahaha.
I heard one of the judges groan as Nicole and I walked into the TV studio. I think it was Jake. None of them had smiles on their faces as we walked past their table.
In their kitchen space, Ashli and Nathan both made faces and flashed us thumbs-downs as we stepped once again into the kitchen next to them.
I set the bulging tote bag under the kitchen counter. Nicole and I took off our wet jackets and tossed them under the
counter, too.
Two new kids were in the third kitchen. Hess introduced them to us: Jackson and Sunday. They weren’t from our school. But they seemed to be about our age.
Sunday was about a foot taller than Jackson. They both wore matching navy-blue polo shirts that said Go, Master Chefs in big white letters on the front.
Nicole and I both tried to fix our hair with our hands. There was no mirror, so we didn’t know how we looked. It was our first time on TV. Exciting. But Hess was so eager to start shooting, he didn’t give us a chance to make ourselves ready.
“Places, everyone,” the voice on the loudspeaker boomed. “Emergency time is over. We have a show to do.”
Hess stood next to one of the camera operators, clipboard in his hand. Morgan, his assistant, stepped in front of the camera carrying a clapboard. You know. One of those things they clap together and say something like “Take six.”
Beside us, Ashli leaned over her counter. She pointed to Nicole and me. “Hess,” she shouted, “shouldn’t you search their backpacks to make sure they didn’t bring hot sauce?”
That made the camera guys laugh. The judges didn’t crack a smile.
“We don’t need hot sauce to beat you two,” I snapped.
But Nicole still looked really annoyed. She leaned close and whispered, “Are they just going to make fun of us for the whole show?”
“Stay cool,” I whispered, too. “I have a plan. I know exactly how we’re going to pay Ashli and Nathan back.”
A few seconds later, everyone in the studio went quiet, and the show began. Hess stepped in front of the cameras with a big grin on his face.
“Welcome, everyone, to Kids’ Big Chef Food Fights. We have three teams of chefs, and they are ready to do battle. Let’s see who can COOK—and who will get the HOOK. At the end of the show, two of these teams will go home. And one team will go home with the Silver Spatula, a prize worth two thousand dollars!”
Hess motioned around the three kitchen areas. “Now let’s meet our teams. We’ll start with you.” He pointed to Ashli and Nathan.
“I’m Nathan and she’s Ashli,” Nathan said. “We are from Adam Driver Middle School, and we are the winners of this contest!”
