I take a deep breath and let what Colin said sink in. “Bring Ember to mine as soon as you can. Have her sing for us, and if she’s as good as you say she is, then the four of us will talk it through some more.”
* * *
I rap my fingers on the steering wheel while slowly backing out of Colin’s driveway. Hannah arrived home a short while ago, which was my cue to leave. Hannah and I do not get on, and we never will.
Stupid girl thinks I’ll lead Colin astray. She believes that I’ll get him drunk at a party and he’ll cheat on her. She doesn’t trust Colin if she thinks he won’t say no to a woman. I know she doesn’t trust me as far as she could throw me.
It’s not in me to help anyone cheat on their partner. I’m a free agent and can do what I want. Colin isn’t free, and I respect that. The fact he’s married would be reason enough for me to break his nose if he cheated on her.
I don’t like the woman, but I wouldn’t want to see her hurt by Colin if he did something like that. Hannah hates me, but it’s no skin off my nose. She can hate me all she likes, whatever makes her feel better. One of these days, though, someone is going to throttle her, and I’ll do nothing to stop it.
A car suddenly drives beside me and pulls up. I stop my car when I realize it’s Ember. No doubt she’s realized that she left her notebook behind and wants it back.
I chuckle to myself, grab the notebook from the passenger seat, and get out of my car. Ember is already halfway to the front door when I stop her. “Hey, sexy,” She turns to look at me and rolls her eyes. “Looking for this?” I hold the notebook aloft.
Ember’s eyes widen as she charges toward me, hand out to grab what belongs to her. I move it out of her reach. She leans into me, and the smell of her perfume hits my nostrils. Her body is almost pressed against mine, and all I want to do is kiss her.
Ember is taken, and I won’t do anything, even if I want to. Though I can’t deny how attracted to Ember, I am. I’m attracted to most women, but there’s something special about this one.
Ember is special because she’s off-limits, Marco. Forbidden fruit, and all that.
Ember moves back a step and holds out her hand. “May I have my lyric book back, please?”
“Since you asked so nicely,” I smirk and hand the book over. “You have some real talent for songwriting, Ember.”
Her blue eyes widen. “You read my lyrics?”
I nod while looking at the thick, hardback, lilac-colored notebook in Ember’s hands. It looks like something an early teen would have. There’s writing scribbled all over it, and random stickers dotted here and there. For a woman in her mid-twenties, the book is a little childish.
Why should that matter, Marco?
I get the feeling I’ve done wrong in reading those lyrics. Great, now I feel like a dick.
“I’m sorry, Ember, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
She smiles shyly, and her blue eyes sparkle. “It’s okay. It’s just that I don’t usually let anyone read them.”
“I get that,” I nod while running my tongue over my top teeth. I feel like a prick for reading what was so obviously private. I should have had more respect for the girl than that.
If Ember is as good a singer as Colin says she is, and she, along with everyone else, agrees that she should join the band, it would be inevitable that we’d record her songs. From what I’ve seen, there’s no way we could pass them up. I’ve had but a glimpse of what Ember is capable of, and I can’t wait to see more.
I like this girl. Don’t ask me why when I don’t even know her. I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t sexually attracted to Ember, any man would be. Long brown hair, deep, dark blue eyes, legs up to her armpits, small but perfect tits, and a bubble butt, fucking perfect. God knows I want to do very bad things to Ember. However, that’s not the only reason I like this girl. She’s sweet, smart, and I can tell that she’s strong in more ways than one.
I want Ember to trust me. If there is any chance that Ember might join Dun’s Dungeon, I want us to get along.
“Ember, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to invade your privacy. Colin just wanted me to see why you’d be a good fit for the band.”
Ember tips her head to the side slightly, with a smile on her face. “You’re forgiven. You know, you surprise me, Marco Russo.”
“Do I?” I ask, curiously.
Ember laughs and nods her head. “Colin told me all about you.” I breathe deeply through my nose while folding my arms across my chest. I’m annoyed that Colin had obviously filled Ember in on the man I am now. I doubt he’s told her anything about the man I used to be. “He told me how much you love the ladies.”
“I bet he did.” I grit through my teeth.
“Don’t worry,” Ember laughs. “Regardless of the player you are, I would like to know the other side of you. I don’t judge people on their lifestyles, Marco. I just want you to know that. What you do in your personal life is your business.”
This is new. I can’t make my mind up whether Ember is one of a kind or just telling me what I want to hear. Either way, I can’t help smirking.
“Well, I should get going. Give some thought to Colin’s offer to join the band. All you need do is come by and showcase that amazing voice Colin keeps banging on about.” I wink and hop into my car before Ember can reply.
As I back out of Colin’s driveway, I notice Ember watching me. She tucks her hair behind her ear and bites her lower lip. She clutches that damn notebook to her chest. I wink in her direction, and she blushes and turns away. I chuckle to myself and drive away.
That girl likes you, Marco, and she doesn’t even realize it.
She’s also taken, and I won’t chase after a woman who belongs to someone else.
I just hope whomever the guy is, he’s good to Ember. I also hope, should it work out, and Ember joins Dun’s Dungeon, that he’ll be happy for her.
I may have to put up with him if he decides to visit Ember, but that’s okay. We’ll all have visits of a sexual nature, none of us suddenly plan to become nuns.
Your life is about to change in a significant way, Marco. Are you sure that you’re ready for this?
I was born ready!
Chapter Three
Ember
Marco Russo is not as bad as Colin made him out to be. Sure, he’s cocky and full of himself, but I can see past all of that. It’s not hard to see that Marco wears a mask to hide his pain. I’m not sure what or who hurt him in the past, but someone or something did. The man he shows people every day is not the man he is inside. I see past the facade, but then I’ve always been able to read people.
When Marco said that he’d read my notebook, I was pissed for a second or two there. No one is meant to read my song lyrics; they’re private. However, I realize that if I am to write songs for Dun’s Dungeon, my lyrics will no longer be private. The whole world will hear my words, sang by Marco Russo.
I accepted Marco’s apology because I could see that he meant it, and that meant a lot to me. It was further proof that he’s not the asshole I was led to believe.
I could also see that Marco wants to get into my pants. It’s not hard to notice when a man wants your body. I just hope Marco will respect the fact I’m with someone. I won’t lie, the man is as sexy as hell, and if I weren’t with Toby, I’d find it pretty damn hard not to want to be under Marco. However, I am with Toby, and cheating on him is not something I’d even contemplate.
If I were to join the band, Marco wanting to sleep with me, could be a problem. I guess I’d have to lay down some ground rules and hope Marco could stick to them.
Get a grip, Ember. Even if your family were okay with you going, Toby never would be, and you know it. The man walks all over you, tells you what you can and can’t do, and you let him. When did you become such a doormat?
I got home after leaving Colin’s, hoping I could take a hot shower, eat something, then get an early night. It’s been a long day. I did a six-hour shift at the veterinary surgery I work a
t, then I spent a couple of hours with Colin and Marco, and now I’m exhausted. I should have known it was wishful thinking.
When I moved in with Lydia, I never thought I’d be a babysitter for my best friend. Lydia Vidal is a law unto herself. She cares about nothing and does just what she wants, and damn the consequences.
I sometimes wonder if she’s on a mission to destroy herself. Between the drugs, the booze, and all the men she sleeps with, I’m scared I’ll come home and find her dead, sooner rather than later.
Take right now, for instance, Lydia has very obviously taken something, though she swears blind she hasn’t. How can she lie to my face so easily? I wasn’t born yesterday, and I can see that she’s taken cocaine.
“Here, drink this.” I hand Lydia a glass of water. I don’t want her to dehydrate. She’s sweating from where she’s been dancing around. God only knows what else she’s been up to while I was out.
I wish I knew how she ended up like this. Lydia has always rebelled, and I guess that has a lot to do with her father being a Mafia Don. I never understood it, though, because Lydia is Daddy’s little princess and can do no wrong in his eyes.
Why rebel if you don’t even get in trouble for it?
“I love you,” She looks at me, glassy-eyed.
“I love you, too.” I wish I knew what haunted my best friend. It hurts my heart to know she’s so obviously in pain. As I said, she’s always been the wild one, the party girl. However, over the past couple of months, she’s gotten so much worse.
“I didn’t take drugs, Ember, I promise. I took painkillers ‘cause I had a headache. I don’t think they agreed with me.”
I want to believe what she’s saying, but the fact is, I don’t. I know that makes me a bad friend, but how can I believe someone who lies to me regularly? She lies about where she’s been, how much she drinks, and now about the drugs I know she’s taken.
I don’t know; maybe she is telling the truth. I just don’t know what to believe any longer.
I tuck her dark hair behind her ear, and she shocks the hell out of me by leaning in and kissing me. I instinctively push her away from me. “What the hell, Lydia?”
“Don’t be shy, Ember.” She mumbles around another kiss to my lips.
I push her away from me again. “Lydia, stop!” I swallow hard. “What’s gotten into you? I’m with Toby, Lydia.”
“And you think he’s not out there with someone else? Do you honestly believe you’re the only stupid bitch he’s fucking? He’s out there making promises to other women and telling them that he loves them, just as he is with you.”
I narrow my eyes and bite my lower lip. I hate it when she says things like this about Toby. Trust me; this isn’t the first time Lydia has told me that Toby is cheating on me.
When she’s drunk or high, Lydia can be venomous, even toward me. Of course, when she’s sober again, she’s doesn’t remember saying any such thing. It used to hurt a lot more than it does now.
When I mentioned it to Toby, he told me to ignore Lydia, and that people don’t mean what they say when they’re drunk and high. He said that I shouldn’t take it to heart, and to remember that Lydia has demons she’s finding hard to fight.
It’s not like I can forget, I just wish I knew what those demons were. If I could get Lydia to open up, then maybe she could move on from what hurts her and have a better life than the one she’s living.
This self-destruct mode she’s in isn’t doing her any favors.
Lydia touches her hand to my face. “Why are you fighting this? I know you want me as much as I want you.” Again she kisses me.
What is it going to take for her to understand that I don’t want this? “Lydia, don’t. We can’t do this.” I take her hands from my face.
I’ve written many a song about Lydia and the things she gets herself into. Those songs will never see the light of day because she’d kill me. Every other day, I write a song inspired by my best friend. Hell, today’s antics will make for a good song.
Lydia reaches for me again, taking my hand in hers. “There’s nothing wrong in taking what you want, Ember.”
“I’m with someone, Lydia, and you don’t even seem to care. I’m not this person, and I will not cheat on Toby with you or anyone else.”
“He won’t find out from me, but I know you’ll tell him. He loves you enough to forgive you.” She moves closer, her hands on my face. “I want you so badly that I ache everywhere.”
“Are you’re willing to ruin our friendship over this?”
We’ve been through everything together. School, boys, college, and the fact people bullied me because of my family. Lydia would beat the crap out of those people for it, boys and girls. Not that I needed her to, I could stand up for myself, but Lydia never could let me deal with anyone myself. She thought it was her job to protect me, just as it was her job to protect her twin sister. I let her because she’s my best friend, and it made her happy to think she was stronger than me.
I know if I gave into her right now, Lydia would wake up in the morning and carry on as if nothing happened. Me? I’d crumble, and my life would never be the same.
I was raised to believe that relationships were sacred. My Mom always said that no one could help whom they fall in love with. Sometimes, people fall in love with others and give in to their urges. Mom warned that if I ever got married and I happened to fall in love with someone who wasn’t my husband, then I wasn’t to act on it until my marriage was over, same with any relationship I find myself in.
I’m not in love with Lydia by any means, but I don’t want to hurt her. However, I can’t do this with her; it would ruin everything.
Lydia’s problem is that she’s used to getting her own way. Lydia has something about her that draws people to her, men and women. Everybody wants her, and no one denies her. I’ll deny Lydia because I don’t want this.
“I would never hurt you, Ember, you have to know that. I love you.” She presses her forehead to mine. “I’m sorry I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Lydia, you’re my best friend, and I wish more than anything I knew how to make you happy.” It hurts my heart to know she’s in pain. I don’t know what she’s hiding from me, but it’s something Lydia feels she can’t talk to me about. Me of all people and my best friend can’t talk to me. That hurts like hell.
Lydia slides her hand into my hair and pulls me to her. “You’re so beautiful.”
I huff to myself because it’s like we take one step forward and three back. Lydia is so high that nothing I’m saying is registering in her mind. I grab her hands and pull her away from me. “Lydia, stop!”
She reaches for me, but I pull back. What the hell is wrong with this woman? Has she lost her damn mind?
Lydia turns away from me and pushes her finger into her long dark hair and lets out a frustrated breath. “I know you want me, Ember. Why do you pretend like you don’t?”
“Lydia, for Christ’s sake! I am not sexually attracted to you. Yes, we could share a kiss, but I’d instantly regret it, and so would you. Sweetheart, whatever you’ve taken is making you think like this, but deep down, you know it’s not right.”
“So, you’re just gonna go to him? Leave me like I’m nothing to you?”
I’m a little startled by her outburst. I’m used to Lydia blowing up at any little thing. She’s a highly-strung person, angry most of the time, but this is something else. “Yes, I’m going to Toby’s now to give you time to cool down. When I get home, I don’t want to talk about this. I never want to talk about this again. I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you, but this is how it has to be.”
She hangs her head. “Just go, Ember, I’m embarrassed enough as it is. I’m sorry. I really am.”
I wipe a tear from my eye. I want to comfort Lydia and tell her that everything will be okay. But deep down inside of me, I don’t know that they ever will be. “You need help, Lydia. Whatever you’re hiding inside of you is killing you slowly. I love you, and nothing will ev
er change that, but you will never be happy until you let it out.” I don’t look back as I leave Lydia’s room.
I have to tell Toby what happened. I can’t keep this from him. I just hope he understands that nothing happened. Toby can be very jealous sometimes, and it causes massive arguments between us. I don’t have the energy for that tonight.
You know how this will end, Ember. You know you should leave it until tomorrow, but you’re stupid, and you won’t.
* * *
I’m so confused right now.
Why did Lydia have to act that way with me?
Why did she have to try and kiss me, and make out like she wanted to sleep with me?
She didn’t even care what it would do to Toby if we slept together, and he found out. How could she think I would do that to him?
I’m so confused, frustrated, and angry. The tears are drowning me as I walk into Toby’s building. I know I’m probably overreacting, but I’m hurt by what Lydia did back at the house.
I wish I could help her feel better about herself, and I wish she’d talk to me about what’s bothering her. Lydia pretends that everything is okay, but I know that it isn’t. I know Lydia better than anyone, even though she likes to pretend that nobody does.
I’ve been walking for hours, though I don’t know why. I guess to clear my head. But I can’t walk anymore. There’s nowhere for me to go but Toby’s.
I get to his building and take the elevator up to his floor. The ride goes too quickly, and before I know it, I’m knocking Toby’s door, tears streaming down my face, and I am so scared how this night is going to end.
I’m scared because I know deep down that Toby is going to blame me for what happened with Lydia. He’ll blow up, and I don’t want that. All I want is to get this out of my system. I also want Toby to tell me that none of it matters.
Wishful thinking, Ember.
I know, but I couldn’t keep this from Toby, it wouldn’t be right. If I tried, Lydia would blurt it out the next time she got drunk or high, and if that happened, things would be so much worse for me with Toby.
Ember: Next Gen (Snakes Henchmen MC Book 12) Page 2
