* * *
I slip my heels off, the second I close my hotel room door. Christ, they ache! I never was one to wear heels, but they were necessary for this dress.
It’s only just past midnight, but the sight of people freely snorting lines of cocaine, and women in their underwear falling all over the place is not my scene.
Seeing Bob on the couch with a naked woman full of him as she rode him, was not the visual I wanted. God, I think I threw up in my mouth! I don’t care who sleeps with who. I don’t even care where and when they do it, but in a room full of party-goers?
Colin and Hannah were apparently in one of the rooms fucking. Saint was in the kitchen area with two scantily clad women hanging off of him. I had to roll my eyes because he’s as bad as Bob.
Marco was deep in conversation with a group of men I’d never seen before. I’m not sure if Marco had taken any drugs tonight, but I hadn’t seen him with any women. Just because I hadn’t seen him with anyone doesn’t mean he didn’t sneak off and have some fun. Maybe Marco waited for me to leave before doing a bunch of groupies in the bathroom.
Either way, it’s not my place to tell any of them what to do and when. As long as they don’t give Dun’s Dungeon a bad name, all is good.
I jump in the shower and groan as the hot water pounds down on my aching body. I wash the smell of cigarette smoke out of my hair and get out.
It doesn’t take me long to get dressed and blow dry my hair. I climb into bed and lie there, thinking about life back home.
What would I be doing now? Sleeping or writing songs?
I chuckle to myself because somethings never change. I get out of bed and search through my bag for my lyric book. I have a song rushing around my head, and I need to get it out.
* * *
Christ knows what time it was when I eventually fell asleep. I do know that I woke up too early. I’m exhausted, but we have rehearsal today ahead of the live show tomorrow.
I have to admit that it finally hit me when I stepped out on that stage that this is real. My stomach was tight with both nerves and excitement—anyone who says they’re not nervous before their first live gig is a liar.
We’re on our second round of songs, dancing, and instrument checks, and I’m not far from killing someone. Matt has given us shit from the moment I opened my mouth to sing. I’m not loud enough, not energetic enough, and I don’t even look like a woman, according to Matt. My breasts are too small, my hair shouldn’t be in a bun, and I’m sweating too much. He’s trying to knock my confidence, and to a degree, it’s working.
I still have too many emotions rushing through me after Toby and Lydia, and Matt is feeding on that. I know I shouldn’t let him get to me, nor should I let him make me feel bad about myself, but it’s not easy. He’s always on my case, and has been since the moment he met me.
The pig even picked fault when he saw me eating breakfast this morning. ‘Eating white bread is bad for a woman’s body,’ he told me as I took a bite of my toast. ‘Christ knows what you shove down your throat every day, Ember, but you should slow down,’ I didn’t even blink as I stared at him. ‘I do know that you’re gonna end up too big to fit on the bus.’ He laughed and walked away from me.
I don’t know why, but that hurt me. I’m not a big woman, hell, I’m smaller than Hannah. Not that it should matter if I were a big girl, but in this industry, I know that it matters. However, I keep myself fit because I use the gym, and I will go while on tour. At each hotel that has one, at least. I also do yoga and pilates. I may not always eat the right foods, but I’ll eat what I damn well want.
I’m not going to change who I am just because one man doesn’t like the look of me. I won’t change the way I eat, nor the way I dress, and I certainly will not have a damn boob job! I may not have been blessed with the biggest pair of beasts in the world, but I’ve never had any complaints.
Colin caught one of Matt’s comments and threatened to break his neck. I told him to leave it. Matt isn’t worth the problems it would cause the band if I brought up his attitude with them. No, I’ll deal with it in my own way.
Marco and I sing the last chorus of Fallen Cambridge, one of Marco’s original songs. The song is beautiful, and I can hear the pain Marco is still in when he sings that song.
Finally, the set comes to an end, and I can’t take the smile off my face as Nate and his band, along with the tech guys, applaud loudly. “That was amazing!” Nate yells between his hands.
I look at Marco, and he winks at me. Colin comes closer. “Tomorrow’s the night, and I’d say we’re ready!” Then he hugs me.
I am so excited that I might pee myself!
Chapter Eleven
Marco
I breathe deeply, in through my nose and out through my mouth. Five minutes until showtime, and I’m psyched. Tonight will either turn out to be the best of our lives or the worst.
Dun’s Dungeon already had a small following thanks to social media and the small gigs we used to put on. The fans have been posting for weeks about tonight. Some even posted on the band’s social media page that they’d be here to support us.
However, this is our first gig featuring Ember, and it has to be perfect. I cannot mess up; none of us can. I promised Ember that nothing would go wrong. I shouldn’t have done that when any number of things could fuck up tonight. I’ll do my damn best, though, to make sure everything runs smoothly.
Ember looks fantastic tonight. She’s wearing tight, torn black jeans, a red leather bra, with a black mess top. Her midriff is on show, and I’m fighting hard not to look. Christ, she has a six-pack! I groan inwardly because my dick is straining to get out of my pants. I need to calm myself down, now is not the time to be turned on by my bandmate and her refined abs.
Ember’s heavily studded boots, her high ponytail, and the heavy makeup make her look ever the rock chick. She seems so excited right now, and I can’t help smiling at her because she’s bouncing on her heels.
“Remember,” I look around the circle we’re all standing in at my bandmates. “This is our moment. Don’t worry about making mistakes; everybody does. If something does go wrong, smile, and carry on as if nothing happened. Most of all, enjoy every damn moment.”
“Marco’s right,” Colin clasps my shoulder. “We’ve worked hard for this, guys. Enjoy the night, play, and sing your hearts out, have fun, and for God’s sake, smile. Don’t go out there expecting anything but amazing things to come from this. Tonight is the first night of the rest of our lives. Let’s go out there and smash it!”
Saint holds his hand out, palm down. One by one, we each pile ours on top. “Dun’s Dungeon on three,” Saint smirks. “One, two, three,”
“Dun Dungeon!” We all yell in unison before breaking apart.
Saint and Bob move to the left, and Ember and I move to the right as Hannah comes out of nowhere and grabs Colin. She kisses him passionately, and I have to roll my eyes. Christ knows why Hannah thinks that’s necessary right now.
Ember winks at me as the stage manager ushers us on stage. The room is pitch black, but we do as we practiced and follow the dull floor lights to our markers.
We each pick up our guitars as Bob takes a seat behind his drum kit. I look at Colin, and he nods his head as the lights come up, and the music starts.
The crowd is screaming and cheering seconds into the first song, and I’m in my element. This is everything I ever thought it would be.
My eyes stray to Ember now and again, and I can’t believe how energetic she is. The girl is dancing while both playing her guitar and singing.
We’re only doing a thirty-minute set as the supporting band, and the time is flying by far too quickly. Fifteen minutes in, I take the mic for a different reason. It’s time to tell these good people who we are.
“Hello, Oklahoma!” I yell while adjusting the mic stand. The room erupts, and I laugh to myself. “My name is Marco Russo, and this beautiful angel next to me is Ember Marshall,” I chuckle at the blush in Embe
r’s cheeks as many a man wolf-whistles. I can’t say as I blame them, Ember is beautiful in a way most could only dream of.
I turn my head to the left. “On bass, we have Saint Shakespeare,” Saint plucks a few cords because the man is a showoff. “Colin Montgomery on rhythm guitar, and Bob Rhys on drums. We are Dun’s Dungeon, and we love you!”
We fall right back into song, and I’m awed by how many seem to pick up the chorus of Stain so quickly.
The song is almost at an end, which means it’s time for Ember’s solo. Ember wasn’t keen on a solo, but once we heard her sing Patience, we knew it was meant for her. However, as Ember shakes her head at me, I know she’s got cold feet.
I make my way over to her as Colin starts the slow rift. I have seconds to convince Ember that she can do this.
I take her hand in mine and lean in to whisper in her ear. “Don’t be nervous. You can do this.”
“I’m scared,” She whispers back.
“There’s nothing to be scared of, Ember. I’ll be right by your side. You can do this!” I sense Ember, nod her head before she turns to her mic and belts out the most beautiful ballad I’ve ever heard.
Lights from cell phones go up in the hundreds, and I can’t help smiling. These people hear what I hear when Ember sings. Colin was right, the fans love her, and I can see that she’s captivated them just as she has me.
* * *
“Ember, can we have your autograph?” A group of girls waves a paper and pen at Ember over the safety barrier. I chuckle at how frantic they are to get Ember’s attention.
Fans, both male and female, mobbed us as soon as we left the venue to return to the bus. Matt warned us that people were gathering in wait to meet us and to make sure we show our appreciation. I’ve signed so many shirts, books, magazines, even chests that I’m getting a cramp in my hand. Don’t get me started on the photographs I’ve had taken with people.
Almost every person I’ve spoken to asked whether or not Ember and I are a couple. I neither confirmed nor denied; I just laugh the question off each time. I know I should deny it before it becomes a rumor; we can’t shake. But the fact remains that I am already falling for Ember, and I don’t know how to stop myself. I should put the band first and push my feelings for Ember away, but it’s hard. It isn’t just physical, though most would be skeptical, it’s more than that.
I know we’ve spoken about things, Ember and I. I know she’s not ready for any kind of relationship yet, but that won’t stop me wanting just that with her.
What the actual fuck has gotten into you, Marco?
“That was awesome!” Saint yells as soon as we’re on the tour bus.
“You guys did it, and you were brilliant!” Hannah bounces on her heels and reaches for Colin. He scoops her up and walks her to their room, and I shake my head and chuckle. That’s the last we’ll see of those two tonight.
Matt suddenly appears out of nowhere. “We’re leaving in ninety minutes. Go sow your wild oats or whatever, but be back here in time to leave, because we’re waiting for no one.” Then he’s gone again.
“Well, we’ve got offers, so see ya!” Bob and Saint make to leave.
“Oh,” Saint turns to me. “There’s a tight little thing waiting out here for you. And you,” He turns to Ember. “Nate wants you to meet him on his bus. He said, and I quote, ‘Tell Ember not to keep me waiting. Tell her that I’m going to fuck the shit out of her, and show her what a real man is,’ He’s got some balls, I’ll tell you that,”
I grind my teeth in anger. I shouldn’t feel like this, and it’s nothing to do with Nate wanting Ember, and everything to do with her want him. I don’t know for sure that Ember wants to be with Nate, but there’s always a chance. She did tell me at the party, though, that he gives her the creeps.
“Excuse me?!” Ember jumps out of her seat and slams her hands on her hips. “Go back out there and tell that piece of shit that he has no chance! I do not now, nor will I ever want him to touch me in any way! He’s vile and should stick to groupies!”
Saint laughs loudly. “Whatever you say, babe,” Then he’s gone.
Ember folds her arms around herself, and mumbles, “Is that all I am now, a piece of meat? Good for nothing more than a quick fuck with every musician that comes my way?”
Ember turns to look at me when I touch her arm. She looks so sad, and I have the urge to punch out anyone who ever hurt her.
“You are not a piece of meat, Ember. You’re a beautiful woman, who sadly, men like Nate will hit on. Nate Rigby is scum, and he thinks the world should bow down to him. You are worth so much more than a man like that, Ember.”
Ember stares at me for a long moment, and the magnet pull is strong. I know what we said to each other at the party, but I can’t stop what I’m feeling. “You’ll be late for your friend.”
She swallows hard when I cup her cheek in my hand. “What, friend?” We’re so close that I can almost feel her body tremble.
“The girl who wants you to show her the night of her life.”
“There’s only one girl I want, Ember.” It’s too late to stop this, I’ve already pressed my mouth to Ember’s. She kisses me back just as passionately. It’s like we’re in our own world, yet I can feel her hands in my hair and her body against mine. If I died right now, I’d die the happiest man on earth.
Ember pulls away from me, and I groan. Christ, I would have kissed her all night long. “We shouldn’t have done that,” Ember looks mortified as she touches her lips with her fingertips.
I’m such a bastard. Ember told me that she needed a friend. She’s not ready for anything more, and I’ve gone and kissed her. I’ve messed with her head, and God only knows when she’ll move past this.
However, I can’t deny that I want the girl more than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my life. She’s messing with my head without even knowing what she’s doing.
“Maybe not, but I won’t apologize for wanting you the way I do.”
Ember takes a deep breath, and I see the determination in her eyes. “You’re no better than Nate. All you want is to get into my pants. Once you’ve got what you want, you’ll drop me like yesterday’s news!”
I push my hands into the pockets of my jeans. After the kiss we just shared, the sparks I know we both felt, now she wants to tarnish me with Nate’s brush?
“You only want me,” Ember continues. “Because I won’t give it up easily. I’m a challenge, and all men like a challenge. I’m not a game for you to play, Marco! I will not be one of your whore’s!”
I take a step back because I feel like she just slapped me full force. I understand why Ember is saying these things. It’s not like she doesn’t know the reputation I brought upon myself. She doesn’t know how I’m slowly changing, though I thought she would have noticed at the party when I said no to the drugs and women on offer.
What more am I meant to do to prove to Ember that I’m not the man she has me down for?
“First off, I do not think you’re a challenge, Ember. I don’t think you’re a game nor a whore. I think you’re the most amazing woman I have ever met,” Ember blinks, and I watch her throat working to swallow the lump stuck in it. “The day you called me out on my behavior was the day I decided that I didn’t need drugs and women to feel good. I didn’t need to use them as a distraction from my past. I don’t know why, but something you said struck a chord with me. I haven’t touched drugs or women since that day, Ember.”
Ember raises a skeptical eyebrow.
“I am many things, Ember, but I’m not a liar. As for wanting to get into your pants, any man with a heartbeat would want that,” She rolls her eyes at me. “Listen to me. I know you believe that I want you for one night, but,” I give a sigh of frustration while running my fingers through my hair.
“But what, Marco?”
“That’s not all I want you for,” I drop my ass on the couch and roll my neck. “I know this is gonna sound crazy, but hear me out,”
Ember nods her head
slowly while sitting in the chair opposite me.
“Ever since the moment I laid eyes on you, something shifted inside of me. I just want to be near you all the time. Not in a creepy way, but you calm the demons inside of me. No one has ever been able to do that. If friendship is all you ever want from me, then I’d be okay with that. But I won’t lie to you, Ember; if I could make you mine right now, then I’d do it. You felt the pull between us when we kissed. Tell me that I’m wrong and I’ll never mention it again.”
Ember looks down at her entwined hands, resting in her lap for a moment. She takes a deep breath before looking at me, and my stomach is turning over with nerves. What the fuck do I have to be nervous about?
“Yes, I felt those things, Marco. I could sit here and tell you that I want more than friendship, but I won’t.”
I don’t say anything, even though I want to tell Ember all the reasons why we’d be so good together.
“I won’t because it wouldn’t be fair to you. I’m fresh out of a six-month relationship that didn’t end well and left me scarred. If you and I were to be together now, I wouldn’t be giving you the best of me, Marco. I need time to heal so that I can move on from what happened. You deserve better than a woman who could only give you half of herself right now. Please understand,”
I don’t know what Toby did to hurt Ember, but I’m assuming it wasn’t a simple argument about her joining the band. Whatever that man did to Ember has hurt her so deeply, and I wonder if she’ll ever be able to get over it. I wish I knew how to help her through this.
Be her friend, Marco, as she asked you to be. Don’t push what you feel onto Ember; just be there for her. You know what it feels like to be hurt by someone you thought loved you. That’s how you help Ember move on, by being there for her when she needs you.
“I do understand, Ember. You need time, and that’s okay. If you ever want to talk about anything at all, then I’m always here.”
Ember: Next Gen (Snakes Henchmen MC Book 12) Page 9
