I stare at Ember for a moment. The alcohol has gone to my head, and I’m drunk enough to say something dumb, something I won’t be able to take back. Who doesn’t when they’re intoxicated?
God, help me and don’t let me upset this beautiful woman. It would kill me if she walked away from me and our friendship.
Chapter Sixteen
Ember
“Was he good?”
My heart drops to my stomach, and I swallow hard. I knew Caren and Hannah would tell the others where I’d been and what they believed I’d done. What I didn’t realize was how it would affect Marco.
I know Marco has feelings for me, it’s not like he’s kept it much of a secret from me, but I didn’t think about that when I went to see Nate. The only thing going through my mind was stopping him.
“Marco,”
“How could you sleep with him? You know that I care about you,” I look at my hands and breathe deeply. I feel guilty about what I did, even more so because Marco is this upset. “I changed so much about myself for you.”
“I never asked you to do that, Marco,” I would never ask anyone to change for me, just as I wouldn’t change for anyone. I can see why Marco would think that way, though, when I banged on about him sleeping around and taking drugs. I only said those things because I believed he was better than all of that. “You never have to change who you are for anyone, Marco, least of all me.”
Marco drunkenly reaches over and takes my hand in his. “You didn’t have to go to him, Ember,” His words are starting to sound slurred, but he’s not too far gone that I can’t understand him. “I would have fixed everything.”
I swallow back my emotions. “I know you think that, Marco. But the truth is that if I hadn’t’ve done what I did, Nate would have done something to tarnish the band’s name. If that happened, it could have ruined everything you, Colin, Saint, and Bob have worked so hard for, Marco.”
Marco strokes his thumb over the back of my hand. “People talk, Ember. Others lie, and some write stories. There will be others like Nate, but at the end of the day, nothing can ruin us unless we let it.”
I stare into Marco’s eyes and wish I had his optimism. “All of that is true,” I nod my head. “But this is all new to us, Marco. Nate has been in the industry for years, and he knows all the tricks. The asshole knows how to play up to the camera, and how to play the victim.”
How do I explain this to a drunken man so that he’ll understand?
“I doubt any of this is going in right now, is it?”
Marco looks at me with bloodshot eyes, and his body is swaying a little. “Why did you sleep with him?”
I sigh while putting my hand to his face. Marco leans into my touch with his eyes closed. “Marco, listen to me,” He looks at me, but I can’t tell if he’s really hearing me right now. But I’ll tell him anyway. “I didn’t sleep with Nate Rigby.”
“You didn’t?”
I shake my head. “No, sweetheart, I never had any intention of sleeping with Nate. Tomorrow, when you’re sober, I’ll tell you what happened and why.”
Marco brings my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles. He keeps his eyes downcast as I stroke the back of his head. “It hurt thinking you’d been with him when I’m falling for you so hard.”
I’m suddenly frozen, and I don’t know what to say or do. Marco means a lot to me, but I’m not ready to hear how he feels about me yet.
“You need to sleep off this alcohol.”
Marco lifts his head and smiles slightly. “It’s okay that you don’t feel the same. I’ve told you before that it’s okay that you’re not ready to move on, Ember. I didn’t mean to blurt out my feelings, just blame the drink.” He laughs, but I don’t.
I’m not going to sit here and dismiss Marco’s feelings. However, I don’t think now is the right time to get into that conversation.
Marco’s head falls to my shoulder with a groan. A different kind of emotion fills me as I kiss his head. I smile to myself and cradle the man who loves me.
This is crazy. I shouldn’t be falling for anyone so soon after Toby. But I can’t help it, Marco makes me feel something no one else ever has.
So much has happened today, and I’m exhausted. Marco is asleep in my arms, and I hope his dreams are good ones.
I smile while laying Marco down on the couch, making sure his head hits the cushion gently. I then fetch a blanket from my room and drape it over Marco. Here’s where he’ll have to sleep tonight. There’s no way I could get him to his bedroom, and I don’t want to wake Bob and Saint.
I crouch down beside Marco and gently push his dark hair out of his eyes. He’s so devastatingly handsome, even in sleep.
Marco has fast become my best friend in the time we’ve known each other. He’s always there for me when I need someone to lean on, and I do the same for him. I don’t know what I would have done without his friendship over the past couple of months.
Marco makes me laugh, and he helps take my mind of so many things. He also sits with me, and we write songs together. We bounce off of each other, and we have a bond that can’t be severed.
Marco has also helped me move forward and not look back so much, even if he doesn’t know it. I’m no longer obsessing over Lydia and Toby and what they did to me. Marco helped me realize that nothing was my fault.
No matter if Lydia and Toby were in love when he and I met, one of them should have told me in the beginning. They didn’t, and that’s on them. It no longer hurts as much as it once did, and the anger is gone. Marco was right; anger doesn’t belong here anymore. I have so much to look forward to, and nothing is holding me back.
I smile to myself. I don’t know where I’d be right now if I hadn’t joined Dun’s Dungeon. These guys saved me, and I’ll be forever grateful for that.
I know Colin and the others have warned both Marco and me about what could happen should we sleep together. But I believe there is so much more going on than the need to sleep with each other. I’ve been trying so hard to deny what I feel because I thought it was too soon, meaning what I felt couldn’t be true. But how can it be untrue when my heart beats fast when Marco looks at me?
When I’m with Marco, everything seems right. I smile because he smiles, and if I’m honest, hearing Marco say that he’s falling hard for me, made me realize that’s precisely what’s happening to me.
If Marco and I decide to take a chance and be together, the others won’t understand. It could cause problems, but I know Marco and I could make us work.
There’s a lot to think about, but that can wait until tomorrow.
I lean over and plant a soft kiss on Marco’s lips. I then whisper in his ear, “I’m falling hard for you, too.” I get to my feet and startle to see Hannah standing in front of me with her arms folded and her eyebrow raised. “How long have you been there?”
“Long enough. Falling for each other?”
I know Hanna hasn’t been there long enough to have heard what Marco said, I would have noticed her there. So she must be going off what I said.
I know Hannah doesn’t care much for me; she never has. The whole time we’ve been on this tour, she’s made no secret of that fact. I know she’s going to make things difficult for me where Marco is concerned. I know without a doubt that she’ll tell the others what she heard tonight, no sooner have they woken tomorrow.
The comments she’s made regarding what people write about Marco and me leave much to be desired. Hannah is very opinionated and likes us all to know it.
“You two have been warned how many times?”
“It’s none of anyone else’s business.”
Hannah raises her eyebrow at me sarcastically, and I roll my eyes. “I don’t know how many times in one day I need to you that this band, this chance mean everything to Colin. He and the others know just what will happen when Marco gets what he wants from you. Do you really think he’s any different from Nate Rigby?”
My eyes widen in shock. I can’t believe she just sai
d that! “How dare you? Marco is nothing like that man, and you know it!”
“But you still gave it up for Nate, didn’t you?” Hannah smirks, and I clench my fists. I’d gladly smack her in the mouth if I thought I could get away with it.
“You don’t know anything, Hannah, and I’m not about to explain myself to you. Whatever Marco and I feel for each other is more than sex.”
I look back at Marco and smile because I can’t help myself. It feels good to allow myself to feel for him. Hell, it feels good to know my heart is mended because of Marco.
“Oh, my God,” I turn to look at Hannah again. “You actually are in love with him, it’s written all over your face.”
“I know why everyone would think Marco and I being together is a bad idea. I’ve thought the same thing more than once. But no one can choose who they fall in love with, Hannah. I doubt Marco thought that’s what would happen to him, I certainly never thought it would happen to me again, and never this strongly. You can’t fight destiny, Hannah.”
She nods slightly. “That’s all well and good, Ember. But what if things don’t work out between the two of you? Where will that leave Dun’s Dungeon?”
“Is that what people said to you about Colin?” Hannah furrows her brow. “I know how in love the two of you are, and how solid your relationship is,” She smiles and nods slightly. “Did these guys doubt your relationship at any time?”
“I guess,” She sighs.
“But you didn’t let that stop you being with Colin, did you?” Hannah shakes her head. “Isn’t it possible that Marco and I could have a relationship as strong as yours and Colin’s?” She doesn’t answer. “I didn’t plan to join the band and fall in love with anyone, Hannah. I joined because it was my dream to be a singer-songwriter. I was not in a good place when I joined Dun’s Dungeon, and Marco knew that. He was there for me when I needed a friend the most.”
“You could have spoken to Colin, he’s your friend.”
“Yes,” I smile. “Colin is my good friend, but his attention is always on you, and that’s exactly as it should be, Hannah. You are the love of Colin’s life, and you will always come first.”
Hannah nods her head while leaning back against the counter. “I get that, and I appreciate you saying it. If Marco is your friend, why can’t it stay that way?”
“It can,” I agree with Hannah. “And it will. Marco and I will be friends for life. However, if Marco has fallen for me the way I have for him, then it’s inevitable that we’ll end up together. Don’t you think?”
Hannah sighs while rubbing her hands over her face. “I get what you’re saying really, I do. But you don’t know Marco the way the rest of us do, Ember.”
“Maybe you just don’t know him the way I do,” I counter back. “Look, I know you don’t like me, and you probably never will. But Marco, Colin, Bob, Saint, and even you mean a lot to me. I would never do anything that would harm what we have here. Like it or not, we’re a family. If I know anything, it’s that families stick together.”
I learned that from birth. I grew up with so many surrogate aunts and uncles, cousins, and grandparents from all walks of life. Mom and Dad always told Eagle and me that family are the people in your life that mean something to you. You don’t have to be blood-related, just have each other’s backs at all times. I like to think that I have that with my bandmates.
“I do like you, Ember,” It’s my turn to be shocked. “I can see why you’d think otherwise. I know we’re not in school any longer, and I have no reason to be jealous of you, but I guess I still am a little bit.”
I blink rapidly. Hannah has no reason to be jealous of me, and I’ve never given her a reason to be so.
“Don’t look at me like that, Ember. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror?”
Look down at myself. Right now, I look a mess. I’m in PJ shorts and a black cami top, with my long hair in a high bun. What’s to be jealous of?
“You’re beautiful, Ember, and you don’t even see it, you never did. You’ve got so much going for you, including hair that’s so fuckin’ straight and shiny it makes me sick.”
I chuckle because that’s the weirdest thing to be jealous of.
“You have legs to your armpits, and the flattest stomach with the most refined abs I’ve ever seen on a woman. Your damn skin is flawless and for a woman raised by bikers, you’re way too nice.” I’ve heard the ‘too nice’ comment more than once in my life. “Compared to you, the rest of us look like shit.”
“Bull,” I snap while shaking my head. I understand how she’s feeling because I’ve never felt as good as most people. But Hannah is gorgeous, as I point out to her. She has curves in all the right places, her brown eyes always sparkle when she laughs, and she has a man who would die for her. “That and you have fantastic breasts. Not like my buttons,”
Hannah looks at me, and we both laugh - not something I thought the two of us would be doing together.
We stop laughing, and Hannah tells me, “Whatever you and Marco decide to do, just make sure it’s the right decision at the right time. If it is that the two of you want to be together, just be honest with Colin, Bob, and Saint. They won’t be happy, but they’ll get used to it.” Hannah smiles and then takes herself back to bed.
I’m not going to jump into anything with Marco right away. There’s a lot to both think and talk about. I’d be a liar if I said that I didn’t want to try with Marco, but I’m scared at the same time. I’m afraid of things going wrong, not because of anything Marco might do, but because of my insecurities. None of that would be fair to Marco.
Maybe you’re not ready yet as much as you think you are, Ember.
Perhaps I need to spend some time away from Marco, when I get free time, at least. That should help me figure out if I really want to start a relationship with Marco, and how we’d make it work.
We pretty much live and work together right now. What if when the tour is over, and we spend a couple of weeks at home without each other, we realize we don’t have anything in common?
What if Marco meets someone else and leaves me for her?
You’re overthinking, Ember. Stop looking for problems in a relationship that doesn’t exist yet.
Texas is calling, six gigs left, and to record our album. That is when I’ll speak to Marco and find out if there is an us.
Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.
Chapter Seventeen
Marco
We’re on fire tonight, and it feels incredible! This gig is different from all the others that have come before it. I don’t know if that’s because the venue is bigger and there are more people here, or because we’re all psyched about the new date added. We’ll now finish in Memphis!
The atmosphere tonight is what I’ve been longing for since this whole thing started. The way the crowd reacted to us when the lights went up was out of this world. People were screaming and cheering, they recognized us, and they’ve been singing along to every damn song.
Could this night get any better?
I finish up Fallen Cambridge, and we leave the stage. It’s time for Ember to take to the piano and sing Roman Angel -the only song added to our set that requires no other instrument but the piano.
Bob, Saint, Colin, and I watch from backstage just as the piano and Ember rise through the opening in the stage. I pray to God the hydraulics don’t fuck up.
The crowd goes wild when they see Ember, but are silent pretty quickly when nothing happens. I know Ember still gets nervous when doing solos. However, watching her from backstage, seeing her eyes connect with mine, and the smile she throws my way, I know she’s just fine.
The moment Ember begins to sing, her voice wraps around me like silk. I can’t tear my eyes away from her. She looks fantastic in those tight pants and burgundy gothic style basque she’s wearing. Her long, dark hair is tied in a high ponytail, yet her makeup is not as dark as usual.
“Looks like they love her.”
“What do you want?” I
snarl at Nate Rigby. Colin, Saint, and Bob move closer. Each one of us would like to rip him a new asshole.
Ember and I haven’t spoken much over the past couple of days. Matt had us working eighteen hours a day. Between rehearsals for tonight’s show, Matt and Caren have us in a studio recording our album.
It’s not easy to record an album when we’re moving around so much, but I guess that’s why we’re working so many damn hours. We don’t have much choice, however, because we have a deadline. The album is set for release in a month, we have tour dates to finish, and a video to shoot. Downloads alone for the album are set to go through the roof, according to Matt.
We’re working ourselves to death to keep everything on schedule, and we can’t have Nate stirring up trouble this close to the end.
None of us know yet what happened between Ember and Nate and how she got him to back off. But I have to admit that he’s kept to his word so far.
I vaguely remember Ember telling me that she didn’t sleep with Nate, but everything after that is a blur.
“If you’re here to cause trouble, don’t bother.”
“I’m not,” Nate shakes his head. I have to admit that the man looks defeated. The usual cocky attitude and feeling of self-worth are gone. God knows what happened, but I’m guessing someone got the better of him. It would be no more than he deserves. “I’m assuming Ember told you what happened between us the other day?”
Colin steps forward, teeth bared. Hannah grabs his arm, but that doesn’t stop him. “If you’re here to gloat, turn around and fuck off. I don’t give a damn…”
“I’m not,” Something is different about Nate. I narrow my eyes while looking him over. He seems to have lost some of his swagger. “Be careful with that girl; she’s not as sweet and innocent as she looks.” With that, Nate walks away.
“What the fuck was that about?”
“I don’t know, Bob. We don’t have time to discuss it,” I tip my head toward the stage. It’s time for us to get back out there and finish our set.
Ember: Next Gen (Snakes Henchmen MC Book 12) Page 13
