by Kaylee Ryan
“No, I agree. As soon as the doctor told her, it was like she changed. She was defeated and lost in her grief. I can’t explain it, but this is something she never thought she would have, and you gave her that.”
“I can’t help but think that she’s right. Everything happens for a reason. She invited you here, you took the interview. We got to know each other slowly, as friends, then that one night,” he says quickly. “Now her cancer, and her refusing treatment and then the baby. You being the love of my life, her best friend, but I can’t help but agree with her. Everything happens for a reason.”
Before I can reply, there’s a knock at the door. “I’m going to go clean up dinner.” I slide from his embrace and shuffle to the living room to clean up our wrappers and napkins. I take my time to throw away the trash, not wanting to face this. Taking a deep breath, I make my way back to the living room, following the voices of Seth’s friends… no, his family. They’re in for the surprise of their lives.
“Hey,” Amelia says as soon as I walk into the room. She steps toward me and wraps me in a hug. “I love you, Mara. Please tell me that you’re okay with all of this, that you and Seth are working things out?”
“We’re good,” I assure her. She pulls back and wipes the corner of her eye. “Good, because there is no one else in this world I want to be the mother of my baby.” Her voice cracks as her hand covers her belly.
“What are you two gossiping about over there?” Kent calls out.
Amelia gives me a watery smile as we turn to face the crowd. “Oh, hush,” she says, looping her arms through mine and leading us to the couch. Seth is sitting on the left side, I take a seat next to him, and Amelia next to me. My eyes scan the room and I see worried faces. They all know Amelia had an appointment today, and the guys, and I’m sure the wives, know by now as well that Seth left work because I needed him. They’re in for a shock.
Amelia moves to where she’s sitting on the edge of the couch. “Thanks for coming. Before I tell you about today’s appointment, I want you to know what all of you mean to me. Most people are lucky to have one or two close friends, but I have all of you. Every one of you means the world to me, and I can’t thank you enough. To know that you’re here supporting me and my choices, even though you don’t agree with them, well, I don’t really have the words to tell you what it does to my heart.”
“We love you,” Kendall speaks up. “It’s not our choice, it’s yours. As your family, it’s our job to love you through this.”
“That’s what we’re going to do,” Tyler speaks up.
“You tell us what you need,” Mark adds.
“You were there for me,” Dawn tells her. “I’ll never forget that.”
“I hate this so much,” Reagan says, fighting back her tears.
Amelia gives her a forced smile. “Me too, but everything happens for a reason.” Amelia looks over at me and then at Seth. I hold my hand out for her, and she takes it, her grip firm. She moves her gaze to Seth, and he must give her what she’s looking for. Taking a deep breath, she faces everyone and lets the two words that none of us ever expected to hear settle in the room around us. “I’m pregnant.”
Silence.
“From the very beginning, something has told me deep in my gut to not take treatments. This is why. My baby.”
More silence.
“The father?” Ridge finally speaks up. His voice is heavy with emotion, and I’m sure this is bringing back some painful thoughts for him. I don’t know all the details, but I know Knox’s mom died soon after giving birth.
Amelia turns to look at Seth.
“No,” Kent says in shock.
“I’m the father,” Seth says, his voice barely audible, but in the silence of the room, it sounds like he’s screaming.
“What?” Tyler asks.
“When?” Mark asks.
“How?” Kent adds.
“Come on, Kenton. You really need me to explain it to you?” Amelia teases, just as she did with Seth.
“New Year’s Eve,” Seth speaks up. “We were both beyond wasted and woke up the next day, and yeah.” He stumbles over his explanation while running his hands through his hair.
“Wow,” Reagan breathes.
“We agreed to keep it between us because it was a night that neither one of us really even remember, but the evidence was there. We’re friends. Neither of us have those,” Amelia wrinkles her nose, “kind of feelings for each other.”
“Mara?” Dawn’s attention is focused on me.
“Mara and I have been through a lot together. She’s my best friend, outside of all of you. There is no one else in this world I’d rather have helping Seth raise our baby.”
I try to hold it in, but I can’t. A sob rips from my chest as tears begin to fall. Seth wraps his arm around me and pulls me closer, but it does nothing to keep the pain away. The pain of losing my best friend. She has had everyone in this room her entire life, as well as her parents. She’s been my only true family and I’m losing her. The pain, I can’t describe it, this heavy crushing feeling to my chest. Amelia reaches over and takes my hand in hers, giving it a squeeze. Her silent way of telling me she’s right here.
“I don’t expect any of you to understand it, or even agree with it, but I’m going to be a mom.” Amelia’s voice is wistful. “I’m going to leave a piece of me behind in this world, and that makes it okay. I just—” For the first time tonight, her voice wobbles, and she has to stop to compose herself. “I just hope that all of you will be there, you know? For the baby? I want my child to grow up with this… this love and support that you all have given me, and I know it’s asking a lot, but I need you to promise me that you can make that happen.” I hand her the box of tissues that Seth grabbed for me. “Seth and Mara, they’re going to need your help.”
“Of course,” Ridge says, the others murmuring their agreement.
“I love you. All of you. It makes my heart happy to know that not only will my baby have an amazing dad, but a mom who will love him or her unconditionally.” She turns to face me. “Mara, I’ve seen you with Finley. I was there the day you found out. I was there with you when she was born.” She takes a minute to wipe her eyes. “I’m glad it’s you. You’re an incredible mother, and I couldn’t ask for more.”
Beside me, Seth shudders, and I know he’s lost the control on his emotions as well. “Amelia,” he whispers. “Are you sure this is what you want? This is an impossible situation to be in, and I hate—” He stops, unable to go on.
“There is no choice for me, Seth. I knew from the very beginning I didn’t want the poison pumped into my body for what? Maybe a few extra months? There is no cure for the type of cancer I have. I’m going to die. There is nothing that any of you or any of the doctors can do to change that. It’s the hand I’ve been dealt, but someone up there”—she points toward the ceiling—“they’ve been watching over me. This baby is a gift. A chance to leave a piece of me behind with you.” She looks around the room. “With all of you.”
Kendall stands and walks toward us. She stops in front of Amelia and gives her a hug. Pulling away, she does the same to me, then to Seth before taking her seat next to Ridge. “Okay,” she says. “What now?”
“This.” I pull the piece of paper from my pocket that we made at the diner earlier today. It seems like a lifetime ago. “I had Amelia make a list, things she wants to do, things she wants to see.”
Ridge reaches out and takes the list, his eyes skimming over it before passing it on. Each one of them takes their time reading over it.
Dawn stands. “What are you doing tomorrow?” she asks Amelia.
“Uh, nothing. I’m waiting to hear when my OB appointment is going to be.”
“Good, you and I are taking a road trip.”
“A road trip?” Amelia asks, confused.
“Yep, we’re going to drive to the state line. There’s an overlook, and we’re going to stop, take in the sights. Then you’re going to straddle that line, o
ne foot in Tennessee, one foot in Kentucky.”
Amelia grins. “Why have I never thought of that?”
“I don’t know, but that’s what you’re doing tomorrow. Be ready around ten, and I’ll stop by and pick you up.”
“Wait, don’t you have to work?”
“It’s my day off.”
“Daisy.”
“Will be with her grandma,” Mark chimes in. “You ladies go and have a good time.”
Amelia hesitates then nods. “Okay. Thank you. I’m excited. I can’t believe I’ve never thought of that before.”
“As for the rest of this,” Ridge says, handing the paper back to Seth after taking a picture of it with his phone. “We can make it all happen, but two. Those are all up to you,” he tells Amelia.
“There is only one,” she tells him. “I’ve already fallen in love.” She glances down where her hands cover her still flat belly. “This baby…” She rubs her hand over her belly. “This little miracle is more than I could ever ask for. In fact, we should forget the silly list. As far as marriage, sure it would have been nice, but I skipped that step and I get to be a mom. For how long, I don’t know, but I get to experience life growing inside me. There is nothing more that I want than that.”
“Nope,” Ridge says as he stands. “We’re going to get out of your hair, but if you need us, you call. Any of you.” He looks at the three of us sitting on the couch.
After a round of hugs and a tearful goodbye, it’s just the three of us. “You want me to stay while you tell your parents?” Amelia asks.
“Nah, I got it. What about you? You want me there?”
“I told them earlier. They’re sad, but they understood. I’m going to head home to them now.”
“Be safe,” I tell her, wrapping her in a hug.
“Always.” With a wave, she’s out the door.
“How are you?” I ask Seth.
“I’m okay. Still in shock, I guess. Processing that she’s dying and now having… my baby.” He swallows hard. His arms pull me in close, offering comfort in his embrace.
“It’s a lot to take on.”
“Hey,” Kent says, breaking up our hug when he returns from starting Amelia’s car. “Your parents just pulled in.”
“Thank you for staying.”
“Anytime. Finley needs to see how much cooler I am than you.” He tries to lighten the situation.
“Twenty bucks says she has you joining a tea party or wearing makeup before the night is over.”
Kent shrugs. “That makes me the cool uncle.”
“Mommy, I’s got ice cweam.” Finley runs into the house like the tiny tornado that she is.
I can’t help but laugh at her. “I can see that. Hey, you remember Kent, right?” She nods. “He’s Seth’s friend. Well, he wants to read you a couple of stories.”
“Weally? I wuv stowies. Wet’s go.” She grabs his hand and pulls him off to her room.
“Sorry about that,” I tell Steve and Shannon. “Thank you for taking her. I normally would make her thank you as well, but….” My voice trails off.
“Oh.” Shannon waves me off. “She’s the sweetest little thing. She thanked us already. She’s such a joy.”
“Mom, Dad, we need to talk.” Seth goes right for it. He waits until his parents are sitting to start telling them about Amelia and the baby. His mom cries and his dad looks as though he could. They listen as he tells them what’s been going on.
“Wow,” Shannon says. I think she’s going to be upset, but a slow smile spreads across her face. “Another grandbaby to love.” She beams.
I want to hug the hell out of her for claiming my daughter as her own. They’ve welcomed us both with open arms, given us love and family that we’ve never had before. I will forever be grateful. Then again, I guess I have Seth to thank for that. He made me fall in love with him. By extension, we get his large family. His support system. We need them now more than ever.
“What do you need?” his dad asks.
“I don’t know.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “This is a crazy situation, but in a few short months, I’m going to have a son or daughter.” He swallows hard. “I’m going to need you.”
“Anything,” Shannon says. “Mara, honey, what about you? What do you need?”
“Me?”
“Yes, you,” she says with conviction. “She’s your best friend, and you’re going to be helping my son raise this baby. You are as much a part of this as Seth and Amelia.”
“I— Nothing that I can think of.”
“Well, when you do, you know how to get ahold of us. We love you.” She stands, as do Steve and Seth, and they all hug. I remain sitting until I see her hand held out for me. I take it, standing as well, and she hugs me tight. “I’m so happy he has you,” she whispers. “You call me if you need anything at all.” Pulling away, she moves, and Steve steps in her place and hugs me as well.
“We’re going to get out of your hair,” he tells us, stepping back. “You need us, you call.” His dad gives us both a pointed look that has us nodding our agreement.
“Give Finley a kiss for us,” Shannon says as she waves over her shoulder. A moment later, they are out the front door.
“That went well,” I say. It’s lame, but what else is there to say in this situation?
“Yeah.” Seth pulls me into his arms and rests his chin on top of my head. “This is all kinds of crazy, Mara. I don’t know how to act or how to feel.” He whispers his confession.
“Sef!” Finley comes racing into the foyer. She grabs onto Seth’s hand and pulls him down the hall. I trail along behind them, anxious to see what the fuss is all about. “Wook,” Finley points from the doorway of her bedroom inside with a giggle.
Sneaking my head under Seth’s arm, I peek in and see Kent sitting in the middle of her bedroom floor. He has a pink ribbon in his spiky dark hair and bright purple eyeshadow on his eyes. I love Seth, and all these guys, and admittedly, they’re hot, Kent included. I can’t stop the laugh that escapes me, not only at my daughter’s delight but at this man, beautifully ripped and covered in ink, wearing ribbons and eye shadow.
“Unca Kent is pwetty.” Finley giggles.
“Come here, you little bugger.” Kent crawls to his feet and scoops her up in his arms. He tickles her side until she’s gasping for air through her laughter.
I feel her joy in my soul. Seth wraps his arms around me, pulling me back to his chest, and I know he’s thinking the same thing. Amelia is going to miss this. All of it. My heart breaks for my best friend, for my boyfriend, and for their baby. I vow here and now to always be here for him or her. No matter what happens between Seth and me. I will always be here.
Chapter Seventeen
Seth 17
* * *
This last week has been a blur. I’m still struggling to wrap my head around the fact that I got one of my best friends pregnant, and she’s dying. What kind of messed-up shit is that? Is this the universe trying to punish me for something? No, it can’t be. Being a father, this baby is a blessing, not a punishment, but Amelia and her cancer, that feels like a whole lot of fucking punishment.
Our family has proven yet again that we take on life’s obstacles together. Together we rally, and that’s exactly what we’re doing this weekend. The women in our group have taken it upon themselves to mark off every item on Amelia’s bucket list. Specifically spending time with those Amelia loves and taking lots of pictures. That brings us to today.
It’s Saturday night, and we’re all at Mark and Dawn’s for dinner. All five of the ladies have cameras and have been snapping pictures all night. I know Mara has also informed Amelia that she’s taking a picture of her weekly, front, back and side angle to show the baby when he or she gets older.
That shit rips my gut into shreds when I think about it. My child will never know his momma, and I fucking hate it. I’m smiling and laughing because that’s what Amelia needs from me, but on the inside, I’m a fucking hurricane of emo
tions. It’s not fair; she deserves to be here to see our child grow up.
“So, I’ve been thinking,” Reagan says. “About this tattoo.”
“What about it?” Kendall asks her.
“Wait,” Amelia speaks up. “We have to take that one off the list.” She glances down to where her hand rests over the baby. “Precious cargo and all that.”
“Oh, I know. I’m just planning ahead. We can get these after you deliver the baby.”
“I-I don’t know how I’ll be,” Amelia confesses.
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Anyway, I thought we could all get matching tattoos,” Reagan says. “I think we should all look for a design and then choose from there. We can get them in the same spot, or anywhere really.”
“I’m in,” Kendall says.
“Me too,” Dawn tells her.
“Me three,” Mara agrees.
Tipping back my bottle, I drain my beer and head to the small kitchen in the basement for another. I pass the door to the small bedroom, and that morning comes rushing back to me. It was a mistake. I was so drunk, and I seriously still don’t remember that night. I remember being torn up about liking Mara and the fact she lived so far away. I remember thinking if things were different I would make her mine. That led to drinking. I remember pounding back beer after beer, chased with shot after shot. That next morning, we were both mortified at what we’d done, and now here we are, a few months later, and that night resulted in a baby. My unborn son or daughter.
“Hey.” Ridge’s hand lands on my shoulder. “You good?”
I nod. I want to scream and yell and tell him no, I’m not good. How could I possibly be good? But I hold it in. Ridge has been through his own hell and was able to make it to the other side. I can do this. I can be strong for both of them. All of them.
