“Well, put it like that, then I have no choice but to go.”
Dayton promised to make sure Lawson and Lee didn’t try to leave with their clothes on inside out while I changed. By the time I came out, everyone was by the door, excited to get going.
Laughing, I locked up and got into Koen’s car. This time, I tested Koen, letting him help the twins get in with the booster seats.
The man was a pro. I was beginning to think he was good at everything.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked.
“Just searching for a weakness.” After answering, I jumped into the passenger seat and buckled in. It took a moment for Koen to get in and we followed Dayton’s truck back to Newton. Newton Square was done over for the day, making it almost look like a winter wonderland. If there was snow, it’d have been perfect.
People crowded the sidewalk and field, walking from booth to booth. Kids were laughing, parents either amused or frustrated. It could go either way depending on if the child knew how to listen or not. While Koen carefully parked in a makeshift parking lot, I turned to the twins.
“You stay with one of us, right?” I asked.
“Yes, Sissy,” they chorused.
“And no running off because you see something you like, right?”
“Of course,” Lee said. Lawson nodded his agreement.
“And you don’t touch without permission, right?”
“Yes.”
“And if you manage to lose yourself, you’ll find an adult working a booth, correct?”
“Yes!” Their impatience was beginning to show.
“You have my contact information, right?”
They pulled at the elastic string on their belt loop and showed me the laminated paper at the end. It had my phone number and other info on it in case I did lose them. It was an idea I came up with last week from one of those mommy sites. I was going to make sure that if something did happen, they’d be able to get help.
It would have been easy to keep up with the questioning. There was a very long list of worries, but I needed to believe that I trained them well to behave.
“Okay, let’s go!”
Bryce opened my door for me, surprising me. Smiling sheepishly, I let him help me out of the car while Dayton and Koen helped the twins.
“What’s first?” Dayton asked.
“Games!” Lawson said. Lee agreed, and we headed toward those booths. I was lucky I had a bundle of small bills for them to waste. If they kept smiling like that though, I didn’t mind sacrificing the money.
Especially with what was happening next week.
Not thinking about the court date had been easy through the holidays. Lawson and Lee were always the perfect distraction. But now that they were running off, dragging Koen and Bryce with them, it gave me that little moment of quiet for it to slip back in.
All it took was a small moment of quietness. That was all it ever only took.
“Nope, not happening.” Dayton pulled me to a stop, hands going to my waist to keep me close to him as others moved around us. “What’s with the frown?”
“We should keep up with them.” Over my shoulder, I watched as the rest of our group was swallowed up by the crowd.
“Not an issue. Maddie, you were just smiling and happy. Why are you frowning?” He tapped my temple. “What slipped in there to damper your good mood.”
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing. Tell me. Let me help you make it go away.”
My smile was painful as I said, “That’s the thing. It won’t go away until after Monday.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh. Two days away.”
“I know you probably heard this a million times by now, but it looks like you need the reminder. Nothing is going to happen. Your stepmother has nothing against you. Lawson and Lee are yours. They’ll always be yours, even when you’re a hundred years old with no teeth.”
I wrinkled my nose, hating the image he painted. His hand went to my chin, fingers gentle against my skin. “You’re taking care of them now, and when it’s time, they’ll take care of you too. That is the kind of men you are raising, that you will raise. Don’t let thoughts of Monday take that away from you. It’s an open and shut case. Olivia Hansen just needs a judge to tell her she’s being stupid for it to sink in. Then you can put this behind you and look forward to years of trouble with the two of them.”
That had me giggling and I nodded.
“Is everything okay?” Bryce asked. Lee was with him.
Clearing my throat, I put distance between Dayton and me. “Yeah. Yeah, everything is okay.” I waited for displeasure to come from Bryce but got none of that. Instead, what I saw was relief.
He smiled and nudged Lee forward. “Good. This guy got worried when he lost sight of you.”
I held my hand out, and Lee latched on. He tugged me with him as we caught up with everyone else.
“Sissy, isn’t this cool?” Lawson pointed at the booth. The vendor was selling wooden masks, hand carved.
“Oh, scary,” I said. They weren’t really. They were artsy and some of them were even painted in cute ways, like the princess-themed one.
We went from booth to booth, checking out all the goods. I bought Lee a puzzle box where you had to remove a piece to slide other pieces off. Inside was a small space to put jewelry or in Lee’s case, little army men. He mentioned it becoming their prison. Lawson settled on indigenous clapsticks, originating from Australia. I wasn’t sure how they made their way to the Boston area, but there was the vendor with all kinds of goodies, beautifully carved and painted.
“He’s going to drive me crazy with those, I just know it,” I said. Lawson was already banging them together as Lee pretended to dance to the beat. Poor Lee was never going to join any dance club, the boy didn’t have any rhythm to him. I’m pretty sure he got that from my dad’s side, since I had two left feet too.
“Think he’ll like drums?” Koen asked.
Turning, I glared at him. “Don’t you dare.”
He shrugged. “They’re at the perfect age to find hobbies. Maybe he’ll like the drums.”
I winced. Darn the man, but he was right. If Lawson really wanted to play the drums, I wouldn’t hold him back. I’d have to find a music studio and let the two of them go see if there were any instruments they liked. If so, then we’d go from there and they could pick it up at school too.
The idea of them learning in my apartment caused phantom headaches. I’d deal, maybe fork over a few hundred dollars to get noise canceling headphones.
It’d be a big investment, but worth it.
We walked toward the huge tree, already lit up.
“What are they doing?” I asked. People held different colored and shaped bows. Some of the bows were gorgeous, others messy.
“Oh, a tradition!” Bryce pushed me forward toward what looked like a craft booth. The young woman behind it grinned as she looked at us.
“Hello, here to make a ribbon?” she asked.
“What’s it for?” I looked at all the different colors.
“You make your ribbon, thinking of what you hope for for Christmas. Once you’re done, you hang it on the tree. Directions are there.” She motioned to paper on the table. “What color would you like?”
“Lime green!” I said, pointing to the ribbon.
“Good choice.” She measured out the ribbon and cut it, passing it to me.
Everyone else got their ribbons, then we moved off to the side so she could help other people.
My ribbon was done in moments as I thought about wanting to find happiness with everyone I was currently with. Then I helped the twins with theirs.
By the time we were done, the guys were still fighting with theirs.
“How did you do that so fast?” Bryce asked, glaring at his red one.
“I have a lot of practice. Sometimes, my outfits need a nice ribbon to go with it.”
“Help?” he asked.
&nb
sp; I shook my head, feeling a little evil as I grinned. “No way. That’s all you. You’re an adult, you can do it.”
Glowering, he continued to fight with his ribbon until he was finally done. The poor thing was flat and creased from him doing it over and over again.
Koen and Dayton’s didn’t fare well either.
We marched to the tree as a group and hung up our ribbons. It was already so covered in ribbons that it was a miracle we were able to find any space to do it. The bottom of the tree was the most covered, and then it spread out more as it got higher. Obviously, only the tall people were able to reach the prime real estate.
“I want to go higher,” Lawson said.
“Me too,” Lee echoed.
“Come on.” Dayton swooped up Lawson.
Bryce grabbed Lee.
The two of them lifted the twins up and let them put their ribbons as high up possible.
It was a beautiful sight to see. The extra twinkle in the guys’ eyes warmed me to the core. I wouldn’t have been able to do that on my own. An ache entered me. The twins should have had a real dad to do this with. Some man out there in the world was missing out on what could have been a picture-perfect moment.
His loss.
It made me appreciate Koen, Bryce, and Dayton all the more. They were willing to step in, become that male figurehead that the twins had been missing their entire life.
It made me feel like I was making the right decision, letting them in my life like this.
By the happiness on Bryce and Dayton’s faces, they were in agreement with me. This was going to be a precious moment for them for years to come.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Last week, we had missed Sunday church because of traveling. This week, I made sure we went, especially since it was after Thanksgiving. Church after a big holiday felt like a requirement.
I dressed the boys up extra fancy, even putting in the work to tame their hair. They were good, letting me fuss over them. I think they felt like men by the time I was done with them.
For myself, I wore a simple dress with heels, not up to going crazy. I left that to Lawson and Lee for today. My energy levels were low, thoughts of tomorrow looming over me. When I was distracted enough to forget about what was around the corner, it had no problem popping out and saying ‘boo,’ scaring me silly.
If I could punch impending threats in the face, I would. Repeatedly. Then run it over. Toss gasoline on it. Finally, light it on fire, and listen to the sweet, sweet bliss of its demise.
That sounded absolutely delightful.
Church was nice. Even I got sucked into the sermon about being thankful and forgiving during this time. I felt a little bit put on the spot, all things considered. I was grateful for the twins being with me, but this time of year was also about rebuilding bridges. But there was no bridge between me and my stepmother. There never was.
So how was I supposed to give her forgiveness?
Maybe with my dad, if he truly was repentant and trying to change, which I was slowly trying to believe. But Olivia showed no signs of being apologetic to anything she ever did in her life, no matter how wrong it was. And she was trying to steal my babies. How could I forgive her for that?
Yet, as the minister talked, it felt more and more like that was what I needed to do.
By the end, I had nothing to say, while the twins had plenty.
“So I’m supposed to forgive Danny for being a bully?” Lawson asked.
“Maybe once he feels bad about it?” Lee didn’t sound so sure about that.
“So he needs to apologize?”
Wait, what? Why was this so heavy? Shouldn’t they be talking about forgiveness in terms of who took whose crayons? Not bullies.
“This Danny? He’s bullying people?” I needed to insert myself into this conversation pronto. If that boy was bullying my sweet angels, I’d make him regret it. I’d tell Dayton on him.
“When we go out on the playground, he pushes people, especially down the slide,” Lawson said.
“Have you told the teacher he isn’t being nice?”
Both of them shook their heads.
“Why not? Didn’t we talk about this a couple of weeks ago? If something bad is happening, you need to tell a teacher. I think if he needs to apologize to be forgiven, he needs to know what he’s doing isn’t so nice. How will he know that if he doesn’t get in trouble?”
Lawson and Lee shared a glance. Lawson finally said, “Okay. We will tell the teacher.”
“Will it really work?” Lee asked.
“I like to believe maybe there is something there we don’t know about that is making him act like that. It could be as simple as him not knowing what he’s doing isn’t right. If someone talks to him, they can help him learn.” Did I sound smart? I wasn’t so sure.
Also, was this my answer to my own questions? Did I need to have a real heart-to-heart talk with the stepmonster? Was there some kind of misunderstanding between us that was pushing us to this extreme?
Frankly, I didn’t want to try. I didn’t have it in me to give Olivia a reaching hand. If she really wanted to close the gap between us, this was all on her.
“Who’s ready for brunch?” I asked, glancing down at my phone.
Koen sent a simple message that just said brunch, followed with an address.
Bossy even in a text message. What would he do if I said no?
“Banana pancakes?” Lee asked.
“Is that what you want?”
“Yes, please.”
I smiled. “Then let’s go get us some.”
The guys were already there, waiting for us. It was fun… meeting the guys after church. It felt dangerously like we were a family. Bryce helped Lawson order since Lee already knew what he wanted.
I settled on an egg sandwich with a bunch of bacon and extra potatoes. When the food arrived, my mouth was watering, my stomach grumbling in demand of sustenance.
Koen got pulled into a conversation with Lawson and Lee about what was talked about in church. They got into it, Koen making them think. It was adorable, and my heart warmed at the soft expression on Koen’s face. He was genuinely enjoying himself.
At the end, the boys continued to act like men by politely excusing themselves and going to the bathroom. I loved it. I also knew, this was a once in a while kind of thing. No doubt, the moment they took off their suits, they were going to be up to no good. They’d feel the need to balance all that good with some trouble.
I was prepared for it, ready and waiting. They weren’t going to take me by surprise.
“Why are you smiling like that?” Bryce asked, grabbing my attention.
“They think I don’t know, but I know them better than anyone on this planet. They’re all polite and kind now, but later, they’ll be out for revenge.”
“And no doubt, you’ll be ready to remind them that you know all their tricks.” Dayton chuckled as he reached down and stole one of the leftover sausages from Lee’s plate.
“I taught them their tricks. They have years to go before they’ll outdo me.”
“I can’t wait to see the day that they defeat you,” Dayton said.
That brought a wide grin to my face. He was thinking that far into the future and it was nice to hear. Apparently, I was going through a period of needing validation, and that simple response held so many promises for our future together.
My grin was so wide my cheeks ached, and there was no doubt that it looked silly. I didn’t care. “Me too. It’s always a day of celebration when the student outdoes the master.”
That got chuckles from everyone around the table.
“So, Maddie,” Bryce began as soon as things calmed down.
“Uh oh.” My response was involuntary.
“Uh oh? There’s no uh oh to be had,” Bryce said.
I raised an eyebrow. “Don’t believe you. ‘So, Maddie’ is the start to something I probably won’t like.”
Bryce’s smile told me I was wrong.
Leaning back in my chair, I prepared. “Fine. Give it to me. So, Maddie… what?”
Dayton snickered, pretending not to see the glare Bryce sent his way.
“I was only going to ask what you think so far of everything that happened? Do you still believe that we can work?”
Oh. We were talking more about this.
“I think…” I glanced at all three men, taking in their calm expressions as I considered his question. “I think this weekend went well. I’m still trying to wrap my head around what you guys want. Most of the time, it doesn’t feel real. While this weekend was a good sample of how things could be, we still hadn’t finished testing the waters.”
“What do you mean?” Koen asked.
“Like dates. How does everyone respond when I only go out with one of you? Together, I have to admit, has been incredible. You guys are so amazing, I feel like I’m about to wake from a dream. But what about individually? What if I progress further with one person over the other? What if I kiss one of you but not the other? Do I have to kiss all of you each time I only kiss one of you? And if we progress further than that? Is there some kind of balance I need to keep?”
“Whoa. Hold on,” Bryce put the stop to my rant. “Balance? Maddie, that isn’t what we’re asking you to do. The way I see it, what happens between you and one of us has nothing to do with the others. You’re building a relationship with us individually. The fact that we mesh so well together as a group is a huge bonus, and I think that’s important too. But what’s also important is that you want us, individually, in your life.”
Reaching across the table, Bryce grabbed my hand and kept me from tearing apart a napkin.
“All relationships are different. There’s is no doubt you’ll move at different paces with each of us. Koen is a slowpoke when it comes to relationships, so it’ll probably be weeks before you even get a kiss out of him.”
Dayton snickered.
“Not true,” Koen spoke up. His smile said he wasn’t bothered with Bryce’s words.
“Is true.” Bryce didn’t bother looking at Koen. “And Dayton is a speed demon. He’s always been about jumping in, not thinking about the consequences. The man only thinks with his libido.”
“Hey! I don’t appreciate that.” Dayton tried to sound scandalized and failed.
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