“Oh, Bennett.” I take his hand and hold it in mine.
“I didn’t even remember I had a brother,” he says, his voice shaking. “How could I not remember that?”
“I don’t know, sweetheart. You were so young and probably living in poor conditions. Don’t be so harsh on yourself.” I press a kiss to the back of his hand. “That’s good news. I mean, you have family. Where is your brother?” I ask.
Bennett’s eyes fill with tears, but they don’t shed. His shoulders slump. “He’s dead.”
I lean forward and embrace him. “I’m so sorry.” My hand rubs the back of his neck.
He pulls his head back to look at me. “I love you,” he says. “So damn much.”
“I love you too,” I answer, and he leans back, pulling out of my embrace. A chill runs over my body. Why does it feel like he’s saying goodbye?
“What’s going on?” My brows narrow.
“Avery I . . . there’s no good way to say this,” he says, standing and taking a few steps away from me, and it feels like my world tilts sideways. I’m losing him.
Tears swell in my eyes and I don’t even know why. “Bennett?”
“My brother’s name was Liam Montgomery. He left behind a widow, Avery Montgomery, and a two-year-old daughter, Jessy Montgomery,” he says.
My hand claps over my mouth as my head begins to swim. Did I hear him right?
“Avery, breathe” he says. I feel like I may pass out. He takes a seat beside me again. “I know what you’re feeling, baby. I’ve been a mess, a complete wreck. He was my baby brother. He died and I didn’t know. Then I’ve gone and fallen in love with his widow. I wanted to spend my future with you. I wanted to be a role model to Jess.” He swipes a hand over his mouth, but I can’t focus. His words swim in my mind, but they don’t mean anything. How can this be?
“You’re related to Aunt Bee and Uncle Jim,” I say.
He shakes his head. “We didn’t share the same father. Only the same mother. I went into foster care. He went to live with them.”
I shoot up to my feet. “I need you to go, Bennett,” I say, my entire body shaking. I need space to think.
“Avery, please. Let me be here for you. This can’t be the end of us,” he says.
“Bennett, please. I’m holding on by a thread. Jess is expected home in a couple hours, and I can’t . . . I just . . . need you to go.”
He sighs. “I’ll go but I’m coming back later. I’m not leaving you, Avery. I want to be in your life. I know this is some fucked up twist of fate, but here we are. It eats me up to know that he didn’t survive but I’m here, a living and breathing man, and I’m head over heels in love with you.”
“Please . . . p-please go. I need . . .” I don’t know what I need. “Space.”
Bennett looks like I just shattered his world. But my head is too messed up to think about us when all I can think about is Liam.
“Okay.” He stands and leans over to kiss me, but I feel frozen in my place like a statue.
He walks out the door, and I fall to my knees and cry. I stay like that for a while. I don’t know why, but it feels like Liam has died all over again. The loss of his death washes over me, fresh and raw.
I don’t know how long I am on the floor when I get myself up and trudge to my bedroom, heading toward the one thing that always brings me solace. I reach onto my closet shelf and take out the box that holds his things and take out the letter. I read the letter over and over again. I repeat his words in my head. His voice is now a distant memory I almost don’t remember, yet his words are comforting, like a warm, familiar blanket. I sink down to the floor and read.
Dearest Avery,
It’s funny how life turns out, isn’t it?
We didn’t have some full-blown love affair. I know I didn’t sweep you off your feet or make your heart skip a beat but when push came to shove, we were family. We stood by one another and that meant something to me.
I love you. I loved you, and Lord knows I know I did a bad job of showing it. For that, I’m truly sorry. Maybe it was my messed-up childhood—maybe it was how much my feelings for you scared me.
Leaving you and Jessy each deployment tore me up. I wanted to open up to you and share my feelings each time I left. I tried, believe me, I tried, but there was this concrete wall inside me, tall and strong, a fortress of sorts that prevented me from showing both of you.
I know I erected that wall to protect myself as a kid. That wall kept me from feeling, and that’s what saved me from my brutal childhood. I thought it would continue to save me, but it only divided me from the only family I ever knew. The pain of feeling distant from you and Jessy was like a blade cutting me open slowly, deeply.
The sad part is that I know if you’re reading this letter, I’m gone. I never had a chance to make amends. I never had a chance to show you how much you both meant to me. How much I love you. Don’t ever doubt it.
I’m a selfish man, Avery. I never claimed to be anything else, but you, dear wife, hold my heart.
I have one last request. I don’t want you to be scared to fall in love. To give your heart. Not every man will be like me. I didn’t hold you dear and it’s my biggest regret. Your heart is so full of love. And Jessy? She is the best of both of us. She deserves a father and you deserve a husband who will cherish the ground you walk on. There is a man out there—believe me. Don’t be scared. If I had a second chance to be a better husband, it would have been me.
My last wish, Avery, is that you give your heart. I need to know that I didn’t completely shatter your trust in men, in love. I will be smiling down on you and Jessy from heaven knowing you are well taken care of. Knowing that another man could give you what I couldn’t.
Love you always and forever,
Liam
“Oh, Liam. Would you feel that way if you knew I was in love with your brother?” I say to the space in front of me. What would you have been like if you survived the explosion? You and Bennett went down the same path. You were cut from the same cloth. You both became SEALs, and you both made the navy your family.
Now, Bennett’s here. He sees us, he needs us. He isn’t leaving. I don’t know what to do.
My eyes grow tired from the tears and all the pain that courses through me. My body feels too heavy to move. Peace washes over me and my bones relax. I’m walking in a forest. The grass is green and overgrown, and the sun strobes through the trees creating a dapple of light on the ground while providing enough warmth that my skin feels warm.
“Avery? Is that you, sweetheart?” Liam asks with his arms outstretched to me.
“Yes,” I say excitedly as my heart beats fast. “It’s so good to see you. It’s been so long,” I say, taking him in. “You look not a day over twenty. Your light eyes seem translucent and your skin glows. You were always such a handsome man.”
Liam smiles bashfully. “You’re so beautiful. Even now, so many years later,” he says, smiling, and then it falters. “Avery, I know I didn’t give you that letter when I was alive, but I feel like it’s been a pact between us.”
“I couldn’t find her another father,” I say with tears streaming down my cheeks. Why am I crying so hard?
“Shhhhhhh.” He rubs at my eyes with his thumb.
“I . . . was scared.”
“I know. I didn’t do right by you, but he will,” he says.
“He?” I ask in shock. “What do you mean? Do you mean Bennett? He’s your brother, Liam. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” I sob. “I never meant to fall in love with him.”
“It’s okay. I told you there was a man out there who would treat you better. Go to him. Love him,” he says.
“How? I . . .”
Mom. Mom. Mom.
My eyes open and I startle when I see Jess hanging over me. Her dark eyes are frantic. “Geez, you scared the living daylights out of me,” she says, holding her heart.
I sit up. “What’s going on?”
“You tell me. I came home from s
chool and the front door was open. I called out to you and you didn’t answer. You were passed out on the floor,” she says as a hiccup escapes her, followed by tears.
“Oh, honey. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” I say.
She throws her arms over my shoulders. “You’re all I have. If something happened to you . . .” A new wave of tears escapes her.
I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight. “I’m okay, but there is something I need to tell you.”
She pulls back to look at me. “What’s going on?”
“Come lets go to the kitchen. I could use a hot cup of tea,” I say. She extends her hand to me to lift me off the floor.
“What is that?” she asks, her gaze dropping to my hand.
I hadn’t realized that I was still holding the letter. I don’t want her to see it. She’s always thought of her dad as a superhero and I want her memory of him to stay that way.
“It’s a letter your dad left me before he died,” I say, and fold it up and slip it into the envelope. She doesn’t ask to read it. “I have something to tell you, sweetheart.”
“Is everything okay? Are you feeling okay?” she asks nervously.
“I’m feeling okay.” I rub her back and reassure her.
We walk to the kitchen together. I hit the kettle.
“Take a seat,” I tell her.
“You’re seriously scaring me,” she says, but she goes to take a seat anyway.
“I don’t want to freak you out so I’ll get to the point,” I say.
Jess nods and laces her fingers together, settling her hands on the table.
“While Bennett was in Virginia Beach he came across a file on his background. Because he was in foster care from a young age there were things he doesn’t remember from his childhood. The file said he had a brother that passed away. His brother was your father. He was a year younger than Bennett,” I say quickly, holding my breath while waiting for a reaction.
Jess sits in her chair, watching me carefully. Did she hear what I said?
“Say something. Anything,” I urge.
“So they were both SEALs? Dad would have been in BUD/S a year after Bennett,” she says.
“Yeah, it’s crazy. Bennett didn’t know he existed. I’m guessing it was the same for Liam,” I say.
“Do you think Aunt Bee and Uncle Jim knew?” she asks.
“You know, I have a feeling they did but they never mentioned it. They didn’t think too highly of Liam’s mother,” I say.
“I know. They didn’t like her,” she says. “It’s not like my grandfather was any better. He left them. Just took off. What kind of man leaves two sons behind?” she asks.
“Bennett had a different father. He doesn’t know who he was,” I explain.
Jess and I go back and forth, dissecting our crazy life and guessing what Aunt Bee and Uncle Jim knew. They were never ideal people to raise a child. I’m guessing that’s why Liam had such a hard time with expressing his emotions. And I was young and stupid, and left Jess in their care while I got my degree. But I know it’s different because she still had me. I was her primary parent, not them. A part of me wants to know why they never mentioned Liam having a brother, but then I realize that whatever they say won’t matter anyway. It won’t bring Liam back.
“So what now, Mom?” Jessy asks.
I set a cup of tea in front of her and one in front of me. “I don’t know. Bennett was really torn up over finding out. He didn’t know he had a brother. And then he found out that he’s in love with his brother’s wife and wants to be a part of his niece’s life.”
“Holy shit. He’s my uncle,” Jess says, her eyes bright. She’s taking this news a lot better than me. “He’s my blood relative.”
When she was younger, she would come home from school and ask why she didn’t have a sister or brother, or why she didn’t have cousins like the other kids. It was always a sore point for her. She said when she grew up, she would want to have lots of kids so that she could make herself a big family.
“He is your uncle, baby.” I smile to her.
She smiles back and then it falters. “You aren’t going to break up with him, are you?”
It doesn’t surprise me that she can practically read my mind we have always been so in sync with each other. “How can I be with my deceased husband’s brother? It would be a betrayal to your father. Ever since Bennett told me the truth this overwhelming guilt is consuming me. Liam told me to find myself a new husband but I don’t think he meant his own flesh and blood,” I say, worried that I’ve overshared. Jess is so mature for her age, but this is something personal and related to a father she barely knew.
She shrugs.
I suddenly remember the dream I just had. All these years, I’ve never dreamed of Liam. Not even once. Shortly after he died, I wanted to dream about him so badly, needing to see his face. I wanted to yell at him for leaving Jess and me alone, but those dreams never came. Now, the dream finally came. He told me to find a better man, a man who would love me like I needed him to. Does that mean Liam would have been okay with Bennett being my boyfriend?
The dream feels like it’s fading from my mind, and I panic. I want it to stay clear in my head. I don’t want to forget him. Faults and all, we created a beautiful life together. Jess is my everything. The last part of the dream flashes in my mind. “It’s okay. I told you there was a man out there who would treat you better. Go to him. Love him.”
I palm my heart.
“Mom!” Jess waves a hand in front of my face.
“Sorry I just spaced,” I say. “What were we talking about?” I refocus on my daughter.
“You said you didn’t know how you can be with Dad’s brother,” she says.
I frown. “I’m sorry, honey. I know this must be so hard for you.”
“Don’t be sorry. I really like Bennett, and now that I know he’s my uncle I like him even more. He and Dad shared the same mom. He has my genes. My dad’s genes. This is so cool. I never thought I would meet anyone I was related to. I never liked to think of Uncle Jim as a relative,” she says, rolling her eyes.
I can’t blame her for that one.
“Bennett’s a good guy, Mom,” she says.
“Are you sure you would be okay if we were together?” I ask.
“I’d be more than okay. You told me that Dad would have wanted you to move on. You felt bad about not finding me a father. Well, Bennett has been the closest thing I’ve had to a dad, and he was related to my dad. I wonder if they were alike. They must have been. Bennett was a SEAL too,” she says.
“Oh, honey.” I wrap her up in a hug. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too,” she answers.
We break apart. “I need to get my homework done,” she says.
“Okay, but are you sure you’re okay with all this?” I ask.
“What were the chances you’d meet Dad’s long-lost brother in a veterans’ hospital after he’d been injured?” she asks.
I shrug. “One in a million.”
“Mom. He was sent here to us. Dad sent him from heaven. I just know it,” she says. “He wanted his brother, his family, to take care of us. Bennett—he’s good.”
Tears spill down my cheeks. “Bennett is good.” I feel that with every fiber of my being.
Chapter Forty-Nine
Bennett
I sit back in my apartment, feeling like I am losing my mind. She kicked me out. I knew she wouldn’t want to be together after she found out about Liam and me being brothers.
My cell rings and Liam Dempsey’s name lights the screen. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I decline the call. A second later, it starts ringing again. I press decline. I just want to be left alone. If I lose Avery, I don’t know what I’ll do. The damn phone rings again. Stubborn bastard. I answer.
“Hello,” I bark.
“Finally,” he says. “Where the fuck are you, Sheridan? Avery called Nat asking all kinds of questions. I haven’t said anything to he
r, but she knows something is up. You need to go to Avery and talk to her. You can’t just go MIA.”
“I was there. I saw her. Told her the truth,” I say, kicking the wall. I stub my toe and want to yelp, but I suck it back.
“And?” he asks.
“She kicked me out,” I say.
“Fuck,” he hisses.
“Yeah, man. I mean, I was expecting it, but it still stings. I’m not giving up though. My brother’s been gone a long time, and I would never mean him any disrespect, but what are the chances that I’d fall for his widow? You know how I was with the ladies. There was no woman who could tame me,” I say.
“Until you wanted to be tamed,” Liam answers.
“Look, the accident changed my life. It opened my eyes. There were nurses in that hospital hitting on me and I didn’t want them. They didn’t make me feel the way she does,” I say.
“Hey, I get it. You don’t need to explain. I fell in love with my best friend’s wife. There isn’t anything shittier than that. We thought he was gone, and he wasn’t. In your case, your brother has been gone a long time. Avery is a free woman,” he says.
“And Jess is my niece. She is such a great kid. I never thought of having children, but with Jess, I just feel this strong need to protect her. To love her. To be a father figure to her,” I say.
“I get it. I mean I came into Arabelle’s life when she was a baby, but she always felt like my own daughter. I love her no less than I love Shane,” he says.
A strong ache builds in my chest. I want everything with Avery. I want her to have my children.
“You there, Sheridan?”
His tone snaps me out of my daze. “Yeah . . . sorry. I just realized something,” I say, reaching for my keys. “Got to go, Liam.”
Irresistible: A Salvation Society Novel Page 21
