Leaving Ivan to take care of the horses, they walked on, eventually gaining the more respectable part of town where their inn stood.
“I’ve never been to Dover before,” Andrew said, apropos of nothing. “Never been far out of London.”
“I like London,” Darius murmured. “It suits me better than the country but that has its merits, too.”
They reluctantly separated at the door of the inn and walked in like two fine gentlemen. Two fine gentlemen generously bedaubed with dirt. The landlord eyed them with disfavor, but Darius put on his aristocratic air and demanded two more rooms for him and for Ivan.
“Only got one available, sir, and that’s a fact,” the landlord said.
Despite Darius gently correcting him to “my lord,” the landlord remained adamant. “In the morning, after the packet leaves, there could be a room.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Andrew didn’t want Darius anywhere but his room. “We’ll take the one you have. Ivan will be glad of it when he arrives.”
“Are you sure?” Darius’s mouth tightened.
“Yes.” Andrew answered quietly but with utter determination. “We can share.” He looked away, in case the landlord was more perceptive than he appeared and caught the expression of naked longing Andrew surely must be displaying.
Darius said no more but followed Andrew upstairs.
Now he was glad they had the best bedchamber.
When he rang the bell, a maid hurried up with cans of hot water.
Andrew took off his coat and shook it, handing it to the maid. “Have this brushed off and made reasonable by the morning, if you please. I’m not expecting miracles.”
The maid dumped the hot water by the washstand, bobbed a curtsy, and took the coat, turning expectantly to Darius.
He shook his head. “My man will see to it.”
“You’ve brought your man?”
Darius’s lips turned up in a half smile. “No, but he would not appreciate anyone else touching my coats. He takes more pride in them than I do.” After turning the coat inside out, exposing the silk lining, he tossed the garment over a chair.
The maid left. Darius courteously opened the door for her and then closed it and leaned against it, folding his arms. “There’s only one bed.” His voice softened, became more intimate.
“Yes.” Unusually for him, Andrew didn’t know what to say. He fumbled for words. “It’s a big bed.”
“Andrew, tell me, or I’ll go and sleep in the tap room.”
The thought of Darius leaving him forced Andrew into action. Stepping forward, he set his hands either side of Darius’s body, not quite touching him, pressing his palms against the rough planked door.
He rested his forehead against Darius’s. “I nearly died tonight. I didn’t think of my daughter, God help me, but of you. How I hadn’t had the courage to take the step we both want. How much I…care for you.” He went on, trying to articulate what he was feeling. “Only then did I fully understand what I was throwing away. I can’t do it anymore, Darius. I can’t keep you at a distance.”
Darius spoke quietly, his breath heating Andrew’s skin. “You have to mean this.” His arms were still folded, forcing a barrier between them. “And if you do, I will not leave. This is not a one-night affair. Understand that.”
“Yes.” Andrew wet his lips, watched how Darius’s gaze went immediately to them. “I do not know what I will do or how I will live, but even if we don’t repeat this evening, I am always with you.”
If they lived together, they would hurt too many people. But surely Andrew could allow himself something of his own every now and again?
“That will do. For tonight at least.”
Slowly, Darius unfolded his arms and straightened. They were of a height, Darius perhaps a shade taller. Nothing to signify. His eyes were so blue, his gaze meeting and clashing with Andrew’s.
Without taking his eyes away from Andrew’s face, Darius reached down and cupped the bulge in Andrew’s breeches where his erection was trying to burst through the stitches. “You want me.”
Andrew moaned and ground his cock into Darius’s hand. “Yes. More than I can say.”
“You don’t have to say. That bed looks particularly inviting.”
“So does the floor.” Andrew didn’t care where they ended up, as long as they were together.
Darius’s smile broadened, his eyes gleamed. “Then kiss me. Show me how much you want me.”
Andrew mirrored Darius’s actions, pressing his hand against the fall of Darius’s breeches, shaping the organ that was as hard as his own. He pressed his lips against Darius’s, but he didn’t close his eyes. He didn’t want to miss a moment of this.
Darius opened his mouth, pushing Andrew instantly into wild desire. Their tongues met, dancing and devouring. Andrew licked up one side and down the other, a sense of joy pulsing through him. This was what he was born for. This was what he wanted.
His partner banded his arms around him, dragging him in tightly, but Andrew did not release his hold on Darius’s shaft. Now he had it, he would keep it.
Darius growled against his mouth, the feral sound sending messages through every part of Andrew’s body. The urge to touch Darius, feel his bare skin, became irresistible. Not that he wanted to resist.
Pulling away, he fumbled at the buttons of his waistcoat. Darius knocked his hands away and took over the task himself, stripping the waistcoat away. Before Andrew could respond, he’d dropped to his knees, unfastening the buckles of Andrew’s breeches, and his shoes, tugging the garment and stockings away.
Andrew’s drawers went the same way. With fabric bunched around his feet, unable to move lest he stumble, he watched Darius take his cock in his hand.
His spine thrilled to the touch. But when Darius took the rigid flesh into his mouth, Andrew thought he might die from joy. With a strangled cry, he watched his lover’s dark head move over him, wetting and sucking, urging him higher, to a shockingly sudden peak. “I can’t…” Whatever he was going to say flew out of his head as his balls stiffened and he came.
Andrew clapped his hand over his mouth, biting down to stop his cries being heard all over the building. Unlike the taverns they’d passed, this inn was a respectable one, the customers keeping their revelry down to a civilized murmur.
How he wished they would shout and scream!
His orgasm went on and on while Darius lapped up every drop. Watching his throat and the steady movement as he swallowed sent Andrew into fresh paroxysms of delight. He could do nothing but stand in a tangle of discarded clothing while Darius drank his fill.
Andrew was still shuddering when Darius moved away.
He wiped his mouth and sat back on his haunches. “Get into bed. I’ll join you.”
Andrew had to bend to climb out of the clothes and his shoes but the action didn’t embarrass him. A soft wave of wellbeing warmed him, although the night was a chilly one and the maid had not lit the fire.
The massive four-poster seemed appropriate, a suitable place to celebrate his love. He could no longer fight it, even if he had wanted to. What remained of his misgivings had been swept away when he felt that gun against his head, together with the knowledge that he could have well ended his life tonight.
He had not. He was starting a new life instead.
Darius undressed. No shame there, so Andrew felt free to enjoy the sight of Darius’s gloriously rounded buttocks when he turned to find something in his pocket. He picked up a towel from the pile by the washstand.
When he faced Andrew again, he caught him staring. Darius smiled slowly. “Here I am.” His shaft was hard, the cap shiny and taut. A few drops of clear liquid beaded at the eye. Andrew badly wanted to claim them.
Darius strolled to the bed, his fluid and muscular body poetry in the light from the fire and the candles set in the wall sconces.
Flinging back the covers, Darius blatantly admired Andrew’s body. “I couldn’t have dreamed of such a perfect man.”
The vial contained a pale viscous liquid. Oil.
Darius gazed down at Andrew, smiling. “Do you want to do this? We don’t have to. I’m happy to be with you, to hold you, but I want you very much.”
Swallowing, Andrew nodded. “I want you too.”
Before, when his tutor at Oxford had initiated him, the act had hurt. Even then, he had attained some pleasure from it. From the warmth in Darius’s face, Andrew knew this time there would be no pain. Only pleasure awaited him.
He stretched, hands open, wordlessly urging Darius to come to him.
Darius put one knee on the bed and climbed in, straight into Andrew’s arms.
For a while, they only kissed, touched, and held one another. Andrew glowed in the delight of touching his lover, feeling the honed muscular body under his hands, having the right to kiss him.
After a few long, languorous kisses, he touched his mouth to Darius’s chin and then his throat, planning to work his way down his body to reciprocate the pleasure Darius had brought to him. He had his hand on Darius’s balls, but Darius gently moved it away and shook his head.
“I don’t want you like that. Not this time. I want it all, Andrew.”
Andrew gazed into those blue eyes, lost in pleasure. Nodding, he rolled onto his stomach. His previous male lover had always placed him like that. Darius stopped him before he could complete the maneuver. “No, I want to watch you come. I want to see it.”
He wanted Andrew open to him. No longer afraid, eager to feel Darius’s body in his, Andrew nodded, rolled onto his back, and lifted his knees instead. “I want you to see.”
Darius reached for the vial of oil and pulled out the cork with a slight pop. The faint aroma of roses reached Andrew’s nostrils as Darius poured a small puddle into his palm and used his fingers to bring the oil to Andrew’s rear. He caressed, slid his fingers along the crack between Andrew’s buttocks, before going to work.
He eased Andrew open. The task took some time, not least because Darius paused to kiss and tease, softly biting Andrew’s shoulders and then his nipples. The slight twinge roused Andrew further, and he lifted his lower body, urging Darius to do more.
“Do it.”
First one finger and then two, opening and circling, the very act an erotic joy, exciting every sense Andrew had. Colors were brighter, sensations more acute. Andrew moaned softly.
Darius came back to him. “You’re ready. I’m more than ready. Look at me, love.”
Andrew watched Darius take his cock in his hand and ease it into Andrew’s body. He kept his eyes open. Darius’s pupils darkened so much they became black circles with blue rims. He dropped a swift, hard kiss on to Andrew’s lips and then pushed, taking his lower lip between his teeth as he worked his way inside.
Andrew lifted his legs, clamping his knees to Darius’s ribs, holding his arms by his sides, to retain some measure of control. He pushed up as Darius eased in.
Darius didn’t stop until he was completely inside Andrew.
“Oh, God. You feel wonderful,” Andrew murmured, holding his body steady so he could lift a hand and caress Darius’s beard-prickled cheek. He couldn’t stop smiling.
“Believe me,” Darius said. “So do you. You’re hot, a furnace around me. I’m not sure I can last long.”
Andrew’s cock had risen again, pressing hard and needy between their bodies. Every movement Darius made, every time he thrust, he ground their groins and bellies together, compressing Andrew’s hard shaft.
Gasping for air, Andrew tipped his head back, gulping in cool drafts as Darius took him higher, working him. When he looked back, the fierce determination on Darius’s face nearly undid him. “How are you holding back?”
“Believe me, it’s not easy.”
Darius pushed in again, his drives steady and sure, grazing against the most sensitive areas inside, places Andrew had not been aware of before. His only other male lover had not concerned himself with Andrew’s pleasure. If Andrew came, it had been because he could not hold back. And he had only achieved orgasm with a woman when he’d concentrated on her, closed his eyes, and pretended she was someone else.
Thinking of his late wife did the trick and gave him a little time to enjoy his lover. But he could not think of anything. He rushed toward his inevitable crescendo, when his body convulsed and hot liquid spurted between them.
At the same time, Darius buried his face in the pillow, shouted Andrew’s name as he reached the culmination of their loving. He throbbed, his body jerking as he gave Andrew everything he had.
They lay together, panting, until Andrew cupped Darius’s cheek and brought him close for another kiss. He thrust his tongue into Darius’s mouth greedily, as if ready to start again. But not yet. His body shook with strain, but of the most exquisite kind.
Now it was his turn to care for his lover. Darius had ridden himself hard. That he wasn’t lying in this bed snoring his head off was a testament to his stamina. Or maybe it was his determination and desire.
Andrew got out of bed and found the hot water. They were going to need it.
Chapter 15
Although his love life had taken a considerable turn for the better, Andrew’s professional life was not prospering.
Three days after they had first made love, they were back in London. After greeting his daughter and laughing at her sloppy kisses and enthusiasm for the toy ship he’d procured for her, Andrew went to his office. There he found a number of letters from his country clients withdrawing their business from him.
Although a blow, he felt more resilient. He would come around. Perhaps he should try the Guilds. A number of prosperous merchants were buying property in the country. He could at least keep the wolf from his door by acting for them. Chambers was still closed to him. A note from his head of chambers told him that while still a member, he should perhaps wait for the fuss to die down before he returned.
That hurt. The letter, more than anything else, told him where his heart lay. It was not with land and property deals. That was for sure.
The last note came from General Court, summoning him to his house the next day. “My servants inform me that you have information about my son’s death,” it read tersely.
That could spell trouble. Presumably the men accompanying Court had reported back to his father.
A knock at the office door heralded Darius’s entrance. Andrew’s heart leaped at the sight of Darius, even more when Darius closed the door and came over to kiss him.
“I can’t stay away,” he murmured against Andrew’s lips.
Neither could he. Andrew would treasure the memory of their night together in Dover forever, and the two they had spent lingering on the road on the way home. How could anyone condemn such sweet loving? But they did. Their love was as forbidden as ever, as condemned as it always would be. They could be hanged for what they did.
Even that did not cool his ardor. Nothing ever would.
He returned Darius’s embrace with enthusiasm before he stepped back to ring the bell. Darius stayed his hand. “We are summoned to General Court’s.” He glanced down. “I see you have his note. I think we should go now. I have signed statements from Ivan, Smith, and Bull in my pocket. We will tell the truth.”
That relieved Andrew mightily. “Thank you.” He stole another kiss. If anyone had told him he would take quite so much pleasure from feeling a man’s hard lips against his own he’d have called him deluded. He had never kissed another man before Darius.
To him, the act of sexual congress had been mere relief to a mind and body under strain. Get it done. Get it over with. That notion had dissipated into thin a
ir. They had come back to London in better heart, Darius insisting that Andrew take Ivan’s mount while his cousin languished in the carriage.
“I want you comfortable on a horse. When I invite you and Elizabeth to our country home, you should be easy enough to ride around the estate.” He’d only laughed when Andrew expressed doubts. “Haxby is a large establishment with plenty of spare bedrooms. Some of them are close to mine.” He’d waggled his brows suggestively, pulling a reluctant laugh from Andrew.
He still doubted he would ever see the place. Surely a visit there would appear too particular.
Although he had let Darius into his life, they had to keep their affair clandestine. He could see no other way. He had claimed some happiness for himself. That had to be enough.
Darius stepped back, taking in Andrew’s appearance in a comprehensive visual sweep. As always, Andrew had dressed with neatness and propriety. Next to Darius’s expensive, understated luxury, he would pass well enough. He did not want to appear as something he was not. “General Court will take me as I am,” he said.
“You look marvelous,” Darius said softly. “You’re my marvel, at any rate.”
Unaccountably, tears pricked at Andrew’s eyes. He was not a man given to weeping. Hastily he turned away, pretending to shuffle papers on his desk. “We should go.”
“I’ve brought the carriage.”
“Are we traveling in state, then?”
Darius laughed. “Oh, yes.”
The berlin that had taken Andrew to Dover waited outside, but this time liveried footmen waited for them. A team of high-steppers stamped impatiently. The golden crest of the Shaw family was on full display. As they left Andrew’s modest house, a footman opened the door and let the steps down to reveal the luxurious interior.
Andrew took his seat. “Whitehall is not far away.”
Darius swung into the one next to him. “The nobility has a position to uphold. We are not summoned, ever. We arrive of our own free will, graciously answering a request from the general.”
Sinless (The Shaws) Page 14
