by Marian Tee
Vassi, Misha, Sergei, and Fyodor.
It was as if they had always been the only ones in their family and no one else.
Today, it was just Vassi and his father, as it had been for some time. Misha had left home a month ago, leaving only a tersely worded note about needing to spend more time at the lab. Sergei was still in Russia, and as far as Vassi knew, his oldest brother had more than his hands full running the corporation. The night Seri left, Fyodor had made his eldest son CEO pro tempo and had since spent his days locked in his study.
He looked at his father, who although still immaculately and impeccably dressed, had a haggard look about him. Dark circles underlined his eyes, and even more worryingly, Fyodor had lost a drastic amount of weight in just a short period of time.
Their family had fallen apart—-
And it was his fault, Vassi thought grimly.
“I’m still hoping you’ll change your mind about that project.” It was Fyodor who broke the heavy silence in the dining room.
In the act of taking a sip of coffee, Vassi slowly lowered the cup back to the table lest he ended up crushing it between his fingers. He said quietly, “I would if I could, but I had already signed a contract.” He stared straight ahead, not wanting to meet Fyodor’s gaze.
“Pay the damages and just get out of it then.”
He shook his head. “You taught me better than that, Papa. I will not break my word just because of—-”
Fyodor’s fist slammed on the table. “Never mention that person’s name again.”
It was a command Vassi would have objected to if it had been spoken in rage—-
But there wasn’t even an ounce of anger in his father’s voice.
Instead, Fyodor’s voice was bleak and hollow, and hearing it made Vassi suck in his breath. Guilt flayed him as he thought about how Fyodor would feel if he had learned of what happened between him and Seri.
Fyodor came to his feet. “Stay away from that person. Don’t let that person destroy what’s left of this family.”
Vassi didn’t answer.
He watched his father walk away from the table, and his fists clenched as a feeling of impotence swept through him.
Why did love have to be this destructive?
Fyodor paused at the doorway before slowly turning to face his youngest son again.
“Vassi—-”
Vassi looked up.
“She’s not what and who we thought she was. She’s a liar, a slut, and she will do anything—-” Fyodor inhaled sharply. “I’m begging you, son. If you respect me – if you love me as your father, don’t do anything that will remind me of her again.”
The defeat in his father’s gaze stayed with Vassi even when he had long left the house and was on his way to Himura Headquarters. Driving up the lobby, he arrived in time to see Max stepping out of the driver’s seat before going around to open the door for...
Seri.
It was both the most beautiful and painful sight.
Hair still wet, face glowing even without makeup, and her gentle curves accentuated by her floral dress—-
Only this time she was going home to another man.
His fingers tightened around the steering wheel.
Her every word – her every goddamn action – told Vassi that Fyodor was right.
Seri Devereaux was not the girl he thought he knew...and loved.
The real Seri was the one he was staring at now, the one who could kiss another man’s cheek, the one who could smile into another man’s eyes—-
The one who could love anyone who had enough money to afford her.
His mind told him that was the real Seri.
So why couldn’t he convince his goddamn heart it was the truth?
Chapter Five
“Places, everyone,” Marshall said through the speakers, signaling the start of the second day of rehearsals. Since yesterday was about rapport among the cast, Seri knew the sound director would be focusing on technicalities today.
Which means no thinking about unnecessary things, she told herself. If Vassi tried to talk to her about what happened between them yesterday, she would tell him with her best carefree voice that it was just like scratching a one-time itch. She would tell him it meant nothing, and she would say it like she meant it.
Because she did.
That part of her life was best buried in the past. The present, however, still had something to offer, and what happened today had the power to make a difference in both her present and future. She had to bring her A-game and remember that her job was her life. This was what she had always dreamt about and what her own mother had dreamt for her.
Seri mentally nodded to herself. A-game. She was going to—-
“Switch places with me, will you, D?” she heard Vassi ask.
“Huh? What for?”
“Little sister and I got into a fight yesterday. If we’re next to each other, we’ll just end up arguing again.”
She was going to kill herself.
Seri’s jaw started to ache at the way she held on – hard – to her smile while Vassi and Daniela switched places.
Daniela turned to her with her usual, irritatingly friendly smile and blindingly perfect white teeth. “You’re okay about this?”
She couldn’t answer right away. By facing Daniela, she was able to see Vassi standing behind the other girl as well—-
He was still the same gorgeous Vassi she loved—-
And yet, something had changed.
If it seemed like he had nothing better to do than torment her yesterday—-
Today, she didn’t seem to matter him at all. He was texting on his phone, and as if sensing her gaze on him, Vassi’s head lifted and their gazes met.
She expected to see something – anything – in those silver eyes, but all she saw was surprise, almost like he didn’t understand why she had any reason to stare at him.
“I’m right, aren’t I?” he asked good-naturedly. “It would be bad if we work side by side.”
She heard herself say, “Absolutely. We’re just going to kill each other if we’re working side by side.”
“Oh.”
“Told you.”
When Vassi tried to ruffle Daniela’s hair, the other girl irritably swatted his hand away. “Stop that. You know how long it took me to fix my hair this morning.”
And how would Vassi know that, she wondered hollowly, unless he had spent the night with Daniela?
“Five minutes before we start.” Marshall’s announcement effectively finished the conversation between them, and Seri clumsily swung away from the two.
Beside her, Vassi and Daniela started arguing again.
“I don’t need your advice, Grachyov,” she heard the other girl mutter resentfully under her breath.
“Even so, you’re going to get it.”
“If I make a mistake, I’ll learn from it, so stop being so damn fussy.”
“If you make a mistake,” Vassi countered, “it’s because you’re being so damn proud.”
Seri stared hard at her script.
She almost, almost wanted the two to start flirting. Or start kissing even.
At least then she could tell herself Vassi simply had a twisted desire to see her jealous and affected. At least then it would mean he hadn’t just fucked her yesterday for closure.
Recording began.
And Daniela and Vassi continued to bicker between scenes—-
Just like she and Vassi used to do, she realized sickly.
“Seri.” Marshall’s abrupt voice broke through her reverie.
Looking up almost guiltily, she stammered, “Yes?”
“You missed your cue.”
She paled. “I’m s-sorry.”
“Just don’t let it happen again,” Marshall said curtly. “Everyone, let’s start from the top.”
A-game, she reminded herself desperately. She had already lost her family. She couldn’t lose her job as well. The thought was paralyzing and instead of helping Seri concentrate
on her task, everything only went downhill from there.
She found herself overthinking every little thing and because of it, she committed the kind of mistakes only newbies got wrong.
With every mistake she did, Marshall grew more and more impatient and conversely, she became stiffer and stiffer with fear.
It was like seeing a bus coming straight at her—-
And all she could do was just wait for it to run her over.
****
“Thirty-minute break for everyone,” Marshall said tersely.
The studio remained silent, with everyone aware it was the sound director’s slightly polite way of telling Seri to get her shit in order.
Seri choked out, “E-excuse me,” before walking past everyone to leave the room.
Staring after Seri, Daniela confided worriedly, “Your little sister doesn’t look so good.”
Every cell inside of Vassi urged him to go after her, but he forced himself to remain in place, saying flatly, “She’s a big girl now. She’ll need to learn how to clean up her own mess sooner or later.”
When Seri returned twenty minutes later, Vassi saw the other actors give her awkward smiles as she passed them by. But instead of pretending she didn’t see anything to save face, Seri returned their smiles and promised them she would try to do better this time.
And she did.
Only she was trying too hard.
“Too soft, Seri. Start from the top, please.”
“Too loud this time.”
“Too damn fast.”
“What the hell, Seri? Now, it’s too damn slow.”
Vassi’s jaw clenched as he heard Seri whisper, “I’m sor—-”
“I don’t need your sorry. I need you to get better.” Releasing a sound of frustration, Marshall said over the speakers, “Five minute break.”
The silence inside the studio was unbearable, and even with his father’s bleakly voiced wish ringing in his ears, Vassi couldn’t stop himself from slowly turning towards her.
She had the script up, covering her face—-
Fuck.
Her hands were shaking so hard he knew she had to be crying and that script was just to cover the fact.
Vassi inhaled sharply.
Common sense told him that she could just be acting, that the real Seri was a tough, mercenary bitch that wouldn’t cry so easily.
And yet—-
His chest tightened at the way her hands kept shaking, and it was almost like he could hear her inside his mind, silently crying for his help.
But at the same time, he could also see his father’s lined face—-
He could hear Fyodor’s bleak voice saying—-
“Ouch!” Daniela’s sudden gasp broke through his thoughts.
Forcing himself to focus back on the present, he saw Daniela gingerly touching her left eye. “What’s wrong?”
“I was fixing my contacts, and I think something got in my eye.”
“Let me see.” He gently peeled her hands from her face. Peering into her eyes, he murmured, “I don’t see anything.”
“Just blow on it, will you?” As Daniela spoke, he saw Seri slowly lower her script and turn to look at him.
Her eyes were shining with tears. I need you, too, Vassi.
He swallowed.
I’m begging you, son.
If you respect me – if you love me as your father—-
Vassi heard himself say, “I’m going to do you one better, D. It’s the best cure in the world.” He kissed her eyelids.
Daniela gasped.
The other actors, seeing it, cheered and clapped, and began teasing them about dating in secret.
The sound director sighed, “At least there’s one good thing that’s happened today.”
Chapter Six
Vassi only had to press the buzzer once when the front door opened, revealing Seri’s gay best friend, who was dressed in an orange long-sleeved shirt, suspenders, and corduroy pants. It was the first time for Vassi to see Davey in such an outfit, and he found himself blinking. The Davey he remembered was a bit more circumspect than this.
“Hi, Vassi,” Davey said with an uneasy smile.
Recovering from his surprise, he smiled back, saying wryly, “I’m sorry for dropping by unannounced, but is Seri with you?”
As soon as Marshall had called it a day, Seri had left without a word and Vassi had come straight here, knowing from experience that this was where Seri liked to lick her wounds.
And he was right.
“She’s here, but she’s warned me expressly not to tell you.” Davey chewed on his lip. “She told me she’ll never speak to me again if I did, and l think she kinda means it.”
“That’s alright,” Vassi said easily, “since you didn’t tell me.”
“I didn’t?”
“You didn’t. What happened instead is that you seemed to have gotten a call or a text, doesn’t really matter which, as long as you have a sudden, pressing reason to leave and—-” He stepped inside, forcing Davey to step back. “You also accidentally left the door open on your way out.”
Davey marveled, “That’s very plausible.”
“I’m glad you approve.”
They stared at each other.
Then—-
“Oh. Right. I have to leave now.” Davey was about to head out when he turned around again, saying, “But the thing is, I left my wallet in my room—-”
“I completely understand.” He took his wallet out. “I hope this suffices—-” He handed Seri’s friend a couple of bills. “—-since I think your emergency would require you to be out all night.”
Davey’s eyes widened when he saw how much Vassi had given him. “Wow.” Seri’s stepbrother had given him a fortune, enough for him to go on vacation the entire week.
“Thank you for being so forgetful with the door.”
“No,” he breathed. “Thank you.” He paused. “But – for the record, I’m not doing this just for the money. I also truthfully think Seri needs to talk to you right now.”
He nodded. “I know.”
Davey flashed a rare, humorless smile. “Actually, I don’t think you do.”
****
Seri was still curled in a ball under the covers when she heard the door open. “Is it the pizza?”
“No.”
She froze.
D’err mo.
What was Vassi doing here? Shouldn’t he be with Daniela and busy kissing the girl’s fake eye problems away?
She stiffened when she felt the bed suddenly dip, and the tension inside her skyrocketed when she felt Vassi clutch the ends of the covers.
“Seri—-”
She tightened her hold on the covers. “If you came here out of pity, thanks but no thanks. Max’s coming over any minute and he’ll be t-the one to comfort me.”
“I see.”
She felt the bed lift as Vassi stood up.
Just like that, she thought numbly, and he was leaving.
She heard the door open and close.
Oh.
He was gone then. It was exactly what she wanted, so why did the thought hurt? Why did it hurt so much that it was like her chest was about to explode—-
She gasped. She gasped and gasped, but it was no use.
The sobs still managed to crawl out.
I love you, Vassi.
She repeated the words feverishly in her mind and drew a painful, twisted sense of comfort from it. She might no longer have the right to speak those words, but at least she could still think them.
Another sob escaped her as she remembered Vassi kissing Daniela-—
I love you, Vassi.
The covers were suddenly yanked down, and Seri found herself staring up at Vassi in shock. His face was hard, his eyes hooded. He muttered in a guttural voice, “Always too proud—-”
She flinched, remembering that those were almost the exact same words he had used to describe the other girl.
And knowing she shouldn’t even care to ask,
she heard herself say hoarsely, “Are you sleeping with her now?”
His face became even more rigid. “Why does that matter? You’re with Rockford now, aren’t you?”
She asked painfully, “Are you?”
Vassi didn’t answer.
Oh God.
She found herself clumsily rising to her knees on the bed, and still he didn’t move, only looking at her with silver eyes that yielded and promised nothing.
“Did you fall in love with her while I was gone? Was it that easy?”
Silence.
“Vassi, did you—-”
“And if I did?”
Seri couldn’t stop herself trembling as his words hung in the air between them.
If he had fallen in love with Daniela—-
As the possibility crystallized in her mind, she could feel herself breaking bit by bit, and Seri realized that this was the one thing she hadn’t actually allowed herself to think.
That night Fyodor had walked in on them, all she had cared about was saving Vassi’s place in the family.
All she had thought was to prepare herself for Vassi and the other boys hating her.
But somehow, she had managed to blind herself to the possibility that hatred wasn’t the only thing that could fill Vassi’s heart.
Somehow, she had managed to not think about another girl taking her place in Vassi’s heart.
And now that she did—-
As Seri turned ashen before him, it was almost like seeing a flower slowly wither, and Vassi’s fists clenched as he fought the urge to pull her towards him.
She asked brokenly, “D-do you love her already, Vassi? Was it that easy to replace me?”
He asked bitterly, “Shouldn’t it be, after what you’ve done?”
A painful laugh slipped past her lips. “Then you do l-love her?”
“No.” His gaze clashed with hers. “But I can.”
Oh.
Seri covered her mouth.
Oh.
She tried to keep the rest of her sobs down.
Oh.
She squeezed her eyes shut. “I s-see.” And she did. She did see it now, and she knew that this was inevitable, after what she had made him and Fyodor believe. She knew...just as she knew that it was something she had to accept because—-
“Seri—-”
She shook her head vehemently. She couldn’t bear to hear him out anymore. She had to at least protect just a little bit of herself, to survive.
