by R. A. Boyd
“At least he’s resting,” she said, bopping down the stairs and making her way to the kitchen.
She mulled over the idea of running what Samael said past Zeke and Sari. They would help her approach this problem logically. Willow didn’t want to toot her own horn, but she wasn’t the kind of person who would jump into a life-changing decision lightly. Of course, she would know when the choice Samael warned her of would present itself. It’s not like she was an idiotic being or a newly fallen angel who didn’t know how things worked on this plane of existence or any other one she’d occupied in the past. Things would be fine.
Her fluffy socks made her footsteps almost inaudible, and when she pushed the door open to the kitchen, she had to stop herself from grinning too hard.
Ronin sat at the kitchen table with her second favorite coffee mug in his hand. He stood when she entered, and his tall body seemed as if it took years to unfold from the chair. He was tall, and his broad shoulders fit the navy blue tee-shirt he wore perfectly. The short sleeves squeezed his large biceps just right, and the loose black and grey checkered pajama bottoms looked delicious on him.
“Are you ready for dinner?” he asked. “I didn’t want to eat without you.”
Chapter 4
Fuck a duck.
The sight of Willow’s teal pajama shorts covering the top of her sexy as hell, thick, brown thighs elicited a rumble from Ronin’s throat. He tried to cover it with a cough and was pretty sure she hadn’t noticed.
Her black and teal shirt with sleeping rabbits on it hugged her tits perfectly, showing off her beautiful curves. Her hair was messy in that just right way that made her look like she’d just crawled out of bed. Ronin had it in his mind that he would run his fingers through her curly mane and pull just enough to make her love the tingling sensation that would play along her scalp when he did it. When he fucked her.
Wrong thought.
Ronin’s already growing erection hardened even more at the idea of taking her. Quickly, he sat down in the chair to hide his hard-on. He drained the rest of his coffee in hopes that it would help him think of something else besides fucking his mate.
The side of Willow’s full lips quirked up in a half-smile. It made her look less serious than she usually did. “You didn’t have to wait for me. I didn’t expect you to,” she said as she walked to the refrigerator and took out a picture of what looked like iced tea. “I know you were hungry. And tired.”
Hungry and tired didn’t even begin to describe how he felt. He was exhausted and damned near starving. Depriving himself of food seemed to quiet his beast. It was as if the saber-tooth hoped if it kept its trap shut, Ronin would eat more. It also kept Samiyah at bay. That douche was vegan and hated when Ronin ate any kind of food that went against his diet. Even though the pair usually wared with him in his head, Ronin had discovered a few tactics that gave him a modicum of peace. Even if only for a little while. A very little while.
Ronin watched as Willow took two glasses from the cabinet and poured the cold beverage into them. Hoping she wouldn’t notice his erection, he stood and moved in the other direction toward the microwave, took out the already warm plate inside, and then put in the other.
Quietly and quickly, they moved around the kitchen, almost dancing around the other to avoid contact. All he wanted to do was touch her, but he knew Willow wasn’t comfortable with him yet.
Once they were seated across from each other, he said, “I am tired, but it seemed wrong to eat without you. Besides, the only company I’ve had since I was awakened were shifters from the Rogue clan. You cannot imagine how hard they suck.”
“It can’t be as much as an attempted dinner with the Coven of the Fallen,” she said as she picked up the knife and fork Ronin slid next to her plate. “It’s like they’re all trying to be better than the person sitting next to them. Prim, proper, and no fun. Eating with the Ghosts is way better. They might get along, or they might try to kill each other. It’s up in the air.” She laughed and picked up a parmesan-crusted Brussel sprout with her thumb and forefinger.
Ronin hated Brussel sprouts, but he would try it since his mate had prepared them herself. He picked up the green ball with cheese on it and popped it into his mouth.
After a few tentative chews, he pointed at her with his fork. “This is fucking delicious.” He swallowed the first one and then put another into his mouth. “I hate Brussel sprouts, but this is different. How’d you cook it? It can’t just be the cheese making it taste like this.”
Willow preened under his complement. “Thank you. It’s the garlic butter. I make it myself. I’m glad you like it.”
Sitting alone with her made him wish the rest of the clan were around to keep the focus from him. Oh, he wanted to stare at her just to see what made her tick, but with only the two of them sitting together made him an equal partner in the conversation. Ronin wasn’t a big talker, never had been. Being here with her made him want to spill his guts and tell her anything she wanted to know. She was just as quiet, and it made him want to talk to fill the silence.
Ronin was wearing his poker face, but inside he was nervous as a bottle full of fireflies. He didn’t know why he was nervous. She was a fallen angel, just like him. She fit in perfectly with his family. He cut into his steak to give himself something to do. He’d already spent enough time in his head while he was being held captive by Samiyah. It was time he got back to who he really was. But who the hell was that?
“This is nice,” Willow said, pulling him from his rambling thoughts.
He nodded. “Yeah. It is. Willow,” he said as he looked up from his plate. “You’re going to have to forgive me. I’m still trying to figure me out, and it’s not easy. I lost who I was years before the coven put me down. To be honest, I haven’t been myself in almost two-hundred years.”
“Ronin. I need to tell you—”
He held up his hand to quiet her. “Please. Let me get it out before I shut down. That’s what I used to be good at. I shut out my entire clan for decades because I knew I was losing who I really was. I had plans to come to the coven house and turn myself in, but I didn’t get the chance. My beast had a way of making me think everything was okay, and that this was a natural progression of someone like me. I used to love being around my family, but all that shit slowly disappeared as my saber-tooth showed himself more and more. He explained what it was like for him to be trapped inside me. He said it was like waking up in a pitch-black room and not being able to get out. And I get it now. That’s the way it was for us Ghost shifters. Our beasts were put to sleep by the Creator after the Great Flood, and they were supposed to stay that way until our mates woke them up.”
Ronin shook his head and took a deep breath that filled out his abdomen, trying to fill the ache that wouldn’t go away. He’d never talked to anyone about this, and maybe that had been part of the problem. Someone should have known what was happening to him. He could have gotten help before he went off the deep end.
It was too late for that now, but at least he could get it off his mind and out in the open. What better person to share his secrets with than his mate.
“My beast said he’d been awake for years before I even knew he was, screaming for help from the darkness. And when I finally heard him, the only thing that came through was the rage and hatred. I knew the feeling. It’s how I felt when we were stuck in our saber-tooth form right after the Great War in Heaven. But at least I could see and feel and hear and experience everything going on around me.”
Willow chewed the inside of her jaw as she watched him. “That’s why you didn’t say anything? You knew how horrible it was for you, so you could only imagine what it was like for him.”
“Yes. And right now, having this bracelet on—” he said, holding his arm in the air, “—is giving me back that balance I never thought I’d have again. I can feel my animal, but he’s resting. Just like he should have been until the day I met you. Maybe you wouldn’t look at me like I was a feral monster if he�
��d stayed asleep.”
Shit. He didn’t mean to say that. He wanted to get his point across so there would be no secrets between them, not reveal every emotion and thought that crossed his mind.
Willow’s eyes gleamed in the dim light of the room as she slowly shook her head. “Oh, Ronin. I’m so sorry.”
With worry and sadness etched across her face, Willow went to stand up, but Ronin motioned for her to sit down.
He picked up his knife and fork again. “I don’t want you to hug me because you feel sorry for me, Willow. Not the first time. I want you to hug me because everything inside of you tells you that you won’t be able to take in the next breath unless you touch me.”
There was no way in hell he could look at her right now. To avoid the heartache in her eyes, he looked down and rolled a Brussel sprout over his plate until it rested in the steak sauce. He didn’t want to be the cause of her sadness. He’d brought enough pain to those around him, and knowing his mate was hurting because of him made his heart draw up in his chest. The last thing he wanted to do was make her feel anything other than happiness.
He looked up just in time to see her wipe away a tear. It made him feel even worse.
“Besides. I’m a bad man. I’ve done horrible things. It may have been a long time ago, but I still did them. My own sister doesn’t even want to be in the same room as me. I deserve it. One day, I hope to get back what I lost with her and my brother Gabe. So, please, don’t cry for me.”
She nodded and ate some mashed potatoes. “Do you think you’d be okay to go into town in a few days?”
He loved her for changing the subject. He could tell she wanted to press him for more answers, but she did him the honor of waiting. Maybe she understood him more than either one of them knew.
“Yes. I’d like that. I need my own clothes,” he said, looking down at the shirt and pants he had on. “Jax said that he’d have my accounts activated, but it might take a few days.”
Willow looked at him curiously. “Oh! It’s not like you can go to a storage bin and pull out last year’s clothes to wear. Might be a bit outdated.”
Ronin laughed and finally took a bite of the steak, and holy hell, he just might have a freaking orgasm. Juicy, bold, and meat. “Thank you for the offer, but I have more than enough money. We’ve been alive long enough to have it when we want it. The person Jax knows is going to get me an ID and all that crap. I’ll be able to get what I need in a few days. This steak makes me believe in happy endings again.”
Willow made the cutest snorting sound when she laughed. Her hair fell in her eyes, and if he didn’t think it would make her uncomfortable, he would reach across the table to move it away.
She tucked the hair behind her ear and dipped her eyes in a bashful way that set a kindling fire in his chest. “I’m glad you like the way I cook. How about we go into town just so you can see it through your own eyes. We can go to Riley’s café for lunch. Once you and Audra are on better terms, we can go to her pub. The food there is awesome. Also, I need new boots. I scuffed up the last pair.”
“Sounds like a date,” Ronin muttered. Jumbled words began to fall out of his mouth once he realized what he’d said. “Not a date. Just us going out to see stuff. Because I’ll ask you on a date when it’s appropriate.” Yeah. That sounded even better.
Willow sipped her iced tea and then shook her head. “I’m glad you feel just as nervous as I do. When you touched my hand back in Shaun’s garage, that’s Emma’s dad, you seemed so sure of me being your mate. There was no question in your eyes.”
“There was a shit ton in yours,” he mumbled through a mouthful of food. “And you did not look happy.”
Willow linked her hands in front of her and leaned back in her chair. “I wasn’t. I was confused. But, since we’re being honest, I’m not so upset anymore. Confused, absolutely. But not upset. I like you. You’re easy to be around. Even though we’re both tiptoeing around a lot of stuff, it still feels nice. I like it.”
Other than his saber-tooth and the ass-hat being quiet and giving him a bit of peace by way of his bracelet, that was the best fucking news he’d heard in a long time.
Willow went back to focusing on her plate, and it gave him the chance to drink her in. Watching her would be his new favorite thing. The way her skin seemed to shine from the inside made his fingers itch to touch her. The way her jaw moved as she chewed. She was pretty good at keeping her emotions at bay, but her eyes told every little thing she felt. And they were the most beautiful shade of amber he’d ever seen. Eyes that color were unique. Angels had a history of having that shade of amber, and seeing it was a clue that someone had angel blood inside them.
“Ready for those pastries,” Willow said as she stood. She took their finished plates to the sink and rinsed them off. “I’m going to have a cup of coffee with mine.”
Ronin went to the breadbox and took out the brown paper bag. “Coffee sounds good. And these machines that make one cup of coffee are awesome.”
Willow sighed and cut on the blessed little machine and then pulled out two mugs. Ronin was having a good time watching her move around.
She looked over her shoulder at him and then splayed her hands in front of the coffee machine as if she were presenting it to him. With a playful grin on her face, she said, “I forgot. You have been pretty much unaware of stuff for quite a while. I guess I’ll have fun showing you what you’ve missed.”
Chapter 5
Willow shifted restlessly in bed as images of Ronin flashed through her mind. Her heart thumped in her chest so fast she had to put her hand over it and take a deep breath to force herself to calm down. Moment by moment, she was growing used to the idea of having a mate.
“Used to the idea?” she murmured to herself.
There would be no getting used to the idea. They were mates, and there was nothing she could do about it. At this point, there was nothing she wanted to do about it. After she stopped thinking of all the things that could go wrong, the hope of what could go right shined bright enough to warm her from her head to her toes.
Without her even trying, her lips pulled up in a huge smile that split her face open enough to make her drool. Ew. She wiped the droplets off her cheek and stared at the ceiling fan. The long blades twirled above her, but it still wasn’t enough to cool the fire Ronin was building in her body. Not just her feminine parts.
No.
He did something to her heart that went beyond the physical attraction she felt for him. The way he watched her when he thought she wasn’t paying attention was what did her in. It wasn’t the lust-filled gaze she’d expected, although there were a few flashes of desire that lightened his dark eyes by just a fraction. He admired her and adored her, and it was evident in everything he did. She had no idea why. It didn’t matter.
Ronin owned what he’d done. There were no excuses for his past actions, and he didn’t try to make any. He was considerate of her feelings and how she might react to the deeds that clouded his life, whether he was responsible or not.
They would get to know each other. It would be fun. Willow decided right then and there that she wouldn’t hide herself away from him. That wouldn’t do either of them any good. She had her days when she was a bitch. If he liked her on good days, he would have to learn to appreciate her on her bad days.
Once she and Cass were able to free him of his ghosts, what would Ronin be like? What would his bad days be like? Well, as long as he wasn’t trying to kill anyone, Willow was pretty sure they could get through it.
And that raised another question. How would he react to the spell to free him of Samiyah? She’d neglected to tell anyone accept Sari what one of the key ingredients was. How the hell was she supposed to cast the spell when it contained Heaven’s Flame? Willow knew that she was in just as much danger as Ronin when it came to the volatile substance.
They had time to figure it out. The two Salvatore Ghosts weren’t supposed to get here for another two days. The assholes were sure
taking their sweet time coming to help. On the upside, it gave her more time to figure out the Heaven’s Flame problem. Heaven’s Flame was toxic to fallen angels. It was the critical additive used in the weapons during the Great War in Heaven. And now Willow had to find a way to wield it without hurting the people she cared about.
And damn-it, she sure cared about Ronin.
Ronin.
She couldn’t help but be bashful under his attention, and it was time she stopped feeling bad for the emotions developing between them. When she and Zeke first came here, she’d told him to give in when it came to Audra. And now, it was time for Willow to surrender and experience all the beautiful things the future held.
His words played in her head so clearly. I want you to hug me because everything inside of you tells you that you won’t be able to take in the next breath unless you do touch me.
That’s what she wanted. Right now.
Everyone around her was cozying up to their mates, and so would she.
They didn’t have to have sex. In fact, they both agreed there would be minimal physical contact between them until Samiyah was gone. A furious glare had taken over Ronin’s features when he mentioned the possibility of Samiyah being present when they touched. He was jealous of a ghost. He also hated that ghost, so there was that.
Besides, sex was out of the question. Willow and Ronin were just getting to know each other. But dang-it, she wanted that hug. Not because she felt sorry for him, but because her body and heart demanded she touched him. And that he touched her.
Oooh, the thought of those large arms wrapped around her body dumped a bucket full of heat in her nethers.
But it was okay. It was just going to be a hug. Maybe a snuggle. And a peck on the cheek for good measure. They weren’t going to do it.
