by Len Webster
Alex licked her dry lips as nerves and fear consumed her. She knew she would have Savannah’s support, but she wasn’t sure how she would react to the news. Ever since their junior year of college, she had been clear as to who Alex’s “One True Pair” was. It would be the first time Alex would ever say the father of her baby’s name out loud. The thought induced her anxiety and excitement. Her desire to be able to finally be honest.
“Savannah.”
“I’ll be here for you. No matter what, you’ll have me by your side. Aunt Sav will help,” she said with a glint in her eyes.
Her best friend’s support caused her heart to clench. A part of her knew she might be a single parent, but she knew she’d be okay. She had Savannah’s support, and she knew when she told her parents, she’d have theirs, too.
“And I will love Little Parker so much,” Savannah promised.
“Actually,” Alex said, unclenching her fist on the table. Then she let out an exhale. “He or she will be a Little Gilmore.”
“Oh, my God,” Savannah whispered, shock filled her entire face. “Oh, my God! Is it? Please tell me it’s his.”
She pressed her lips into a tight smile, ready to confess the truth. “Evan’s the father.”
“When? How?” Savannah blurted out as their waiter returned to their table and set their meals down.
“Thank you,” Alex said as she picked up her fork, moving the lettuce around in her bowl. Then she glanced up at her best friend’s impatient expression. “Two months ago. When I was home for Seb’s birth. I had to go back to Zürich earlier than planned because Dr. Rodahawe wanted me on an assignment as soon as I landed. And well, Seb would not stop crying every two hours, so I went to Evan’s house. He asked me to stay and then he told me he still loved me, and … it happened.”
Savannah’s eyes gleamed with unshed tears. “You and Evan are having a baby together.” Those tears of hers slipped down her cheeks. “Alex, it’s meant to be. It’s always meant to be you and Evan. And now you’re home. This is perfect.” Savannah’s smile faded. “But you don’t look happy.”
Alex inhaled a deep breath and then released it. “He asked me to stay, Sav. Two months ago, he asked me to stay, and I was so stupid to leave. I was scared. That night, when we were together, I was so scared to stay and have the life I always wanted with him. I was so scared to leave the comfort of my research assistantship. I was scared that maybe if we had a normal relationship, we’d—I’d—not be what and who he truly wanted.”
“Alex, that’s insane. Evan loves you. And two months ago, he was still in love with you. You’re pregnant with his baby now, so I know he’ll be excited to have you both in his life,” Savannah said in a soft voice.
“He’s moving to LA, Sav,” Alex added as she set her fork down on the bowl and pressed her palm against her stomach.
“What?”
She nodded. “Yeah. He told me yesterday. I don’t want him to stay here in Boston if his heart and future lie elsewhere.”
Savannah reached over and grasped her hand. “Alex, I know you don’t believe this, but his heart and future lie with you. I know you’re a big believer in dreams, and that you think Evan is going to give up his dreams for you, but you out of all people should know that sometimes dreams wait.”
Sometimes dreams wait.
“You’re right,” Alex said, realizing just how true her best friend’s words were.
“There’s a flicker of determination in your eyes. What are you thinking?”
Alex smiled, knowing what she had to do. “That if Evan wants to be part of our baby’s life, I have to move to LA. Not just for him, but also for our child. I don’t want him or her to grow up not knowing Evan just because we’re no longer together.”
Her best friend’s lips slowly parted. “But your Ph.D.?”
Her heart dipped, and Alex pushed past the nausea that swirled in her stomach. “We both know that it wasn’t really going to happen, Sav. I’m due the first week of the fall semester. There’s no way I can juggle all of that. I want to be a good mum. And a good mum knows what’s best, and right now, my Ph.D. isn’t what’s good for Evan’s and my baby.”
“MIT’s your dream.”
Alex pulled her hand away from Savannah’s. “I know, but like you said, sometimes dreams wait. And my Ph.D. and MIT can wait—especially if I move to LA. I know a few professors at Caltech. It’s only a twenty-minute drive from LA, so that’s an option.”
“You’d give up MIT for Evan and your child?”
“Yeah,” Alex answered without a hint of hesitation. “It’s not about me anymore. I’ll get my Ph.D. someday. I’ll figure it all out. Now, you called yourself Aunt Sav … that’s for life, you know.”
Her best friend grinned. “Absolutely. I’m going to love Little Gilmore for my entire life. And I know he or she is going to be better than all right because he or she gets to have you as a mother.”
And for the first time since her first ultrasound in Zürich, Alex began to cry, knowing she would be someone’s mother soon.
“Seriously, why can’t I come with you, Alexi?” Reese asked at the front door as Alex buttoned up her coat.
She smiled at her youngest cousin. “Because you’re meeting Grandpa at the airport after you and Lori go shopping. My mum did say that you could have as many cupcakes at the bakery as you wanted.”
Reese rolled her brown eyes. “But that stuff is boring. Why can’t I come with you and Evan?”
Alex picked up her keys from the hallway table and stuffed them into her coat pocket. “Reese, I promise, we aren’t doing anything fun. You’re not missing out on anything.”
“Oh, yeah?” Reese folded her arms over her chest. “So what are you both doing?”
“I’ll only tell you if you promise not to tell anyone—especially my parents. Okay?”
She grinned. “I promise.”
Laughing, Alex heard a knock on the front door and stepped around her cousin. She grasped and then twisted the handle, opening the door to find Evan standing before her with a smile on his face.
“Morning, AJ,” he greeted.
Her heart squeezed at the sight of those beautiful brown eyes as she pressed her palm against her stomach, hoping another round of morning sickness didn’t strike her. She had spent a good part of the morning hovering over the toilet and throwing up before she showered and skipped breakfast. She knew it wasn’t good for the baby to skip a meal, but the smell of her mother’s cooking made her queasy.
“So what are you and my cousin doing today, Evan?” Reese asked behind her.
Evan raised a brow at Alex. She nodded as she stepped back so that he could see Reese. “Hey, Reese. Well, what did your cousin say?”
Reese’s cheeks peppered with a pink flush as she unfolded her arms and pursed her lips. Alex knew that Reese had always harbored a crush on her best friend. “Alexi said it was a secret. I’m not allowed to tell.”
“That’s right. You won’t, right?”
“I promise,” Reese said, her eyes shimmering at him.
Evan stepped closer and set his hand on Alex’s shoulder, his thumb brushing her shoulder blade. “We’re going to look at some apartments.”
“You’re moving out?”
Alex glanced over at Evan and then back at her cousin. “Yeah. It’s a bit crowed right now, and I don’t want to get in the way. But don’t tell my parents—just in case we don’t find anything today.”
“I won’t tell Aunty Clara and Uncle Noel,” Reese promised as Evan’s hand fell away from Alex.
Evan winked at Reese. “Great. We’ll be back in a couple of hours. Ready to go, AJ?”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “I’m leaving. I’ll be back home soon!” she yelled out to her parents who were still in the kitchen with the rest of her family. Then she gazed down at Reese. “Tell Grandpa I said hi whe
n you pick him up. We’ll be home soon. Enjoy your shopping trip, Reese.”
“I will. Enjoy your day with Evan!” her cousin said with a smirk on her face.
“It’s much nicer than the house we just saw on Henry Street,” she pointed out as she stared out of the window.
“Yeah, but a thousand dollars more for one less room and one street closer to MIT,” Evan retorted with displeasure as he stepped away from the extravagant kitchen and joined her by the living room window.
The apartment they were in was a few minutes’ drive to MIT. It was ideal but expensive for a one-bedroom apartment. Alex had to think realistically. She needed two bedrooms. The apartment on Henry Street would have made do had it had an elevator. There was no way she could raise her baby in an apartment complex that didn’t have one.
“This isn’t it, AJ,” Evan stated.
She turned away from the view and gazed up at him. He was right. She was paying for luxury and location. In theory, she would have to give up MIT, and she shouldn’t be looking at apartments at all.
“I know,” she admitted in defeat. They had spent the past two hours looking at real estate, and so far, everything had either been out of her price range or didn’t have what she needed. It wasn’t just about her. She had to find an apartment that would be suitable to raise her baby in. It didn’t help her stress levels that every place they visited, Evan found a fault.
“Are you sure you want to rent rather than buy, Miss Parker?” her real estate agent, Maureen, asked.
She spun around to find Maureen holding her tablet to her chest. “I’m sure. There’s no way I can afford to buy in Cambridge.”
Maureen pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and pursed her lips. “Well, how long will your Ph.D. take?”
“Depends. It’ll probably be seven years before I graduate,” she answered.
The real estate agent stepped closer and flipped the tablet around to show Alex some graphs and numbers. “In the long run, it’s much more economical for you to buy rather than rent. There’s a condo on Pearl Street that has been on the market for months. If it’s something you like, we could negotiate on the price.”
Alex nodded as she took in the tablet’s screen, her heart plummeting at a figure she hadn’t expected to see. “Maureen, is that correct? Five thousand dollars a month to buy that house on Pearl Street?”
Maureen’s lips pressed into a hesitant smile. “In the long run, it’ll be much better for you, Miss Parker. I know it’s a little bit more than your budget, but I did my research. You’re affiliated with the Red Sox, and you came into some money—”
“What?” Alex gasped in shock. Her estate agent had done her research on her. But clearly not enough if she thought Alex still had two million dollars in her pockets. She had donated all that money to different charities during her senior year of high school, refusing to allow dirty money from The Daily Sportsourage to sit in her account. “You researched me?”
“You’re a high-priority client. I just wanted to make sure I had all the information—”
“To get a sale out of her?” Evan asked with a hint of rage in his voice.
Maureen averted her eyes from Alex to Evan and back to Alex. She appeared to be appealing for help or a reprieve. “I wanted to find Miss Parker the right home.”
Alex closed her eyes tightly in frustration before she opened them. “I can’t afford any of the apartments you’ve shown me, Maureen. I don’t have two million dollars in my account. I haven’t been officially affiliated with the Red Sox since my senior year of high school. Look, do you mind giving us a minute?”
“Of course, I’m sorry,” Maureen said before she left Alex and Evan alone. Then the front door closing echoed throughout the small apartment.
Sighing, Alex made her way to the white leather couch and sat down, defeat crawling across her skin and causing her temples to throb. She hated that she couldn’t afford to live in Cambridge. She could if she tapped into her trust funds, but she was adamant to keep them untouched to secure her baby’s future. Alex had a full ride at Duke and had she not, it would have cost her parents a fortune for her to attend college. As Alex leaned back on the couch, Evan sat down next to her.
“I can’t afford anything, Evan,” she admitted in a small voice, staring at the large TV in front of them.
“Maybe a one bedroom?”
She shook her head. A one-bedroom apartment wasn’t going to work for her. Not now, anyway. Alex peeked over at the concerned expression on Evan’s face. He felt sorry for her. It was clear in his telling brown eyes. “Stop that.”
“Stop what?”
Alex sat herself up and let out another sigh. “The ‘you feel sorry for me’ look on your face. I barely made any money working for Dr. Rodahawe. I could only afford that apartment in Zürich because of you. You paid for it. I brought home nothing in our relationship while we were in Switzerland. I have made no real money for myself since high school. I have about maybe thirty thousand dollars to my name. And I know that’s more than what some people have, but right now, it doesn’t seem like enough.”
“Hey,” Evan said as he reached over and grasped her hands in his. “The last thing I feel is sorry for you, AJ. I’m in awe of you. You were busy trying to work on a formula that could change physics. And we shared that apartment in Zürich because you were my girlfriend. The last thing I wanted was for you to worry about money. Alexandra, I have money. I can—”
“No,” she blurted out, interrupting him. As much as her heart ached and loved everything he was saying, it was wrong. It was wrong for him to stay and wrong for her to hear. Evan had lived a life without her for the past six months. He had to go to California and not pay for her to live in Cambridge. “You’re about to move to LA, Evan. That’s not a cheap city to live in. You don’t have to take care of me anymore.” Alex blinked back her hot tears, pulled her hands free from his hold, and stood from the couch.
“AJ,” Evan breathed. The hurt in his voice was heartbreaking. She didn’t mean to bring up their past, but it was the only way to correct their position in life’s plans for them. They didn’t belong together anymore. Alex couldn’t take advantage of him and reap the benefits of his generosity.
“I think I’m done apartment hunting. There’s no reason for me to leave Brookline. It’s close enough to MIT. Plus, I don’t think my parents would want me to move out so soon. I haven’t been home for long.”
Evan stared at her for a moment before he nodded and got up from the couch. “All right. I’ll take you home.”
Home.
The idea of home with Evan Gilmore was an out of reach dream she’d had for so long.
A dream she couldn’t truly have now that he was happy with a life without her.
Alex had been Dr. Livingston’s patient since she’d turned thirteen, and Dr. Livingston was the only doctor Alex felt comfortable with knowing she was pregnant. It had been a day since she and Evan went to Cambridge to look at apartments, and a day since Alex had brought up their past. They were supposed to have moved on and be friends, but it was too hard for her. She tried not to admit it to herself, but every apartment she and Evan looked at, she thought of the life she could have had with him. But Evan had sacrificed his dreams for her. He’d put them on hold to follow her to Switzerland, so she owed him his happiness, and it was time she let him go. For her sake, his, and their son or daughter’s.
“It’s good to have you home, Alex,” the doctor said as she sat behind the desk. “How long has it been since you were last home?”
Alex brushed her curls behind her ear and mulled it over. “I was home two months ago, but it’s been a while. I think I saw your daughter the summer after we graduated from college and I came to see you about vaccinations before I went to Europe. How is Claudia?”
Dr. Livingston smiled, pride gleaming in her blue eyes. “She stayed in Chicago f
or an advertising job after she graduated from the School of Art Institute of Chicago. She’s doing really well. Your mother said you were still living in Zürich.”
“I was. I got an opportunity to work at the Rodahawe Institute for three more years, but I turned it down.”
“I see.” She nodded. “And congratulations on your baby brother. I saw Sebastian for his checkup last week. He’s beautiful. Your parents make the most stunning children. It’s still early, but my money is on him having green eyes.”
Alex let out a small laugh. “I think he will, too.”
“But I’m sure you didn’t come in today for a chat.” Her carefree smile turned professional, reminding Alex of when she visited her doctor after she had become sexually active. “How are you? Is everything okay?”
Alex’s smile faded into a tight line. She cleared her throat and then straightened her spine. The nerves somehow numbed her fingertips as her heart pounded heavily in her chest.
She inhaled once.
Exhaled a second later.
Then she finally revealed, “I’m pregnant.”
“Okay,” Dr. Livingston said, squaring her shoulders. “Did you see a doctor while you were in Switzerland?”
Alex nodded. “I did. I found out while I was in Zürich, and he confirmed my pregnancy. I was already six weeks when we did the blood test and then we did an ultrasound.”
“Good. I’d like to perform another ultrasound today to see how everything is going. How far along are you?” she asked as she set her fingertips to the keyboard and began to type.
“I’m almost nine weeks,” Alex revealed.
The doctor nodded as she continued to type away. “Well, before we do an ultrasound …” She stopped typing and faced Alex. “You have options. An unintended pregnancy happens. I can give you some information about abortions if—”
“No,” Alex said immediately. “I want this baby. I’m not having an abortion.”
