by Len Webster
Unable to help herself, Alex threw her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his. It was the first time in months since she had felt Evan’s kiss. Felt that perfect balance of firm and soft in his lips.
It had been months since she felt whole.
Evan had winced as if she shocked him before he caught up and kissed her back. His hands found her hips as he pressed her body to his, causing her to moan. It was desperate. The way they kissed with need was how she felt. She had dreamed of this for months, and now that Landon had left Duke, there was no guilt. This was perfection. Nirvana. Sheer bliss. This was how it was always supposed to be.
Evan’s hands left her hips to cup her cheeks. Then he pulled her back, ending the passionate way they communicated how much they had longed for each other. He panted as his brown eyes sparkled. But that smile on his face was what truly made her breathless. His eyes roamed her face as if he couldn’t believe she had kissed him. That she had thrown herself at him. It was impulsive. It was need. It was natural.
“What are you doing here?” she managed to ask between her heavy panting.
His thumb brushed along her cheek as his smile stretched farther. “I couldn’t wait anymore. I had to see you.”
Alex’s eyes widened as she shook her head. “You’re supposed to be studying for your finals. You’re supposed to be concentrating on baseball. You said you had a study group.”
He let out a soft laugh. “I couldn’t concentrate. I had to see you. And I lied about meeting my study group.”
“What?” she asked as she pulled away and stepped back. “Why?”
Evan entered her dorm room and closed the door behind him. “I wanted to surprise you, but Sav was busy at work. I was too impatient and decided to just come to your dorm. That’s why Sav sent you that message so you’d think it was her at the door. One of the girls leaving was nice enough to let me in after I helped her with one of her boxes. It took me forever to find your dorm. The fake meeting was to buy me some time.” Then he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her lower back. “I didn’t think you’d kiss me.”
Alex tilted her head as she gazed up at him and pressed her palms to his chest, mystified as to why she broke when she saw him. But she knew the truth. She couldn’t wait for summer. “I never imagined you’d be standing outside my dorm. You flew all this way to see me? Have you already packed?” she asked as she noticed he had no belongings on him.
“Not yet. I’m putting stuff in storage in California once Milos and I find an apartment.”
“So you didn’t bring any clothes with you?”
Evan laughed. “They’re outside your door.”
She pulled away from him. “Someone might steal your things. Grab them.”
He shook his head. “I can always buy new clothes. I can’t ever have this moment with you again after it ends, so I have to take it and make it count …”
“What’s wrong?” she asked once he paused.
Evan turned, grasped the handle, and opened the door. Alex watched him bend, then he turned and closed the door with his duffle bag in one hand. “I don’t care about my clothes, but I do care about what’s in my bag.”
“Okay,” she said, slightly confused.
Evan smiled as he opened his bag and pulled out a silver box.
Her heart stopped, recognizing it immediately.
He dropped his bag and grasped the present she got him two Christmases ago in his hand. She stared at the cardinal ribbon and noticed the gift tag she had left in his car many months ago taped on the box.
“I never read it,” he revealed.
Alex lifted her eyes from the present to him. “You didn’t?”
He smiled. “I wanted you to read it to me, remember?” His gaze dropped to the box in his hands and then back at her. “Will you read it to me, Alexandra?”
Nodding, Alex stepped forward and removed the tag from the present. She bit her lip as she unfolded the tag and inhaled a deep breath. Alex knew every word she wrote by heart because she had stared at it long enough. Wrote each word with every heartbeat singing his name. She didn’t need to read the words to recite them.
“To Evan,” she said, staring into his eyes. Then she smiled, knowing how true her next words would be. “I love you here.”
He inhaled a sharp breath, his eyes wide with disbelief.
Alex pressed her palm on his chest, feeling his wince and his strong heartbeats. “I love you there. I love you with over two thousand miles between us.” Her forefinger tapped his chest as she said, “But right here … right now … I’m home because I’m with you.”
“AJ,” he whispered.
And that name from his lips brought her tears to life as she slid her palm over his collarbone and settled it on the back of his neck. She couldn’t take it anymore. Nothing was going to stop her. With a true and full heart, she whispered, “You’re my home, Evan Gilmore.” She inched his lips to hers. “Merry Christmas.” A kiss, a breath away. “Love, Alexandra.”
“I had these words for months?”
“You did.”
He closed his eyes tightly and pressed his forehead to hers. “Sometimes, I wish …” He opened his eyes, regret staring back at her.
Alex nodded. “I know. I meant every word.”
“Do you mean it now?”
She settled her palm on his hip. “Kiss me and find out,” she said in a low voice.
Evan pulled back, then reached over and set the present on the dresser by the door. He took the note from her and set it next to the present. Then he moved his hands to her hips and held her in place. She thought he’d finally kiss her.
Instead, he stared at her as if he were memorizing her and this moment.
As if he couldn’t believe that they were together again.
“When I kiss you …” He squeezed her hips. “I want you to believe I can be your home again.”
Alex reached up and pressed her fingertips to his jaw. “You are my home, Evan Gilmore.”
His chest fell as if the weight had been lifted from him. “And you are mine, Alexandra,” he replied in a soft voice before he ducked down and finally pressed his lips firmly on hers, sealing their love into a hopeful promise.
Alex felt her heart beat with every flutter of his lips and every graze of his teeth. Her heart soared when his tongue traced her lips before she parted them and allowed his tongue to find hers. Their kiss was an explosion of time, longing, missed opportunities, and pain. Their kiss was forgiveness and hope. Their kiss was an oath of forever as his lips pressed at the corner of hers and then trailed to her jaw and down her neck.
“Evan,” she softly moaned.
“I miss you between all your calls,” he muttered against her pulse as she walked him back to her bed. The need within her was suffocating, and she was desperate for his touch and his love. “I long for you with every word you send me.” They fell onto her mattress as his lips pressed against the swell of her breast. “But I’m desperate for your smile, AJ.” Evan propped himself up on his palms, gazing down at her. The adoration in his eyes had her sitting up, Evan following her.
Alex reached up and brushed his hair back. “It’s okay to say it now.”
Surprise darkened his brown eyes. “It is?”
She nodded with a smile. “I said goodbye to him a few days ago. He left for Phoenix. When I said goodbye, my heart did, too. Not a single piece of me loves him anymore. So it’s okay to say it. I hear your struggle in every call. I can hear how desperate you are to say it. I know you’ve held back because you were respecting my need for time, but you don’t have to hold back anymore.”
Evan grasped her wrists and lowered them from his face. Then he cupped her jaw, his eyes locked on her as he said, “I love you, AJ.”
Her heart gave up, consumed with love for him.
It was Alex’s turn
to remove his hands from his face as she reached down, grasped the hem of her shirt, and pulled it from her. She threw it on the floor and wrapped her hand around her necklace. “I love you, too, Evan.”
“I love you so much,” he whispered before he pressed a lingering kiss to her lips.
When he pulled back, Alex grasped his shirt and lifted it over his head, discarding it on the floor. Evan got off the bed, and Alex turned and grasped his belt. They didn’t take their eyes off each other as she unbuckled his belt and then unsnapped his pants. Evan toed off his shoes and peeled off his socks before he pushed his pants and boxer briefs down until he could step out of them.
It had been a long time since she saw Evan naked.
It almost felt as if it were the first time.
Her memories did him no justice.
In fact, in the time they had spent apart, Evan’s body was tighter. His muscles and abs were more defined. He had worked out and trained more, and his efforts definitely showed.
“Eager much?” she teased.
A glint of excitement and adoration sparkled in his eyes as he climbed on the bed, and Alex laid back down. There was no pressure to make this moment romantic.
It was just them.
Just AJ and Evan again.
Best friends who found each other again.
Who found love again.
Evan hovered over her. “You have no idea,” he said as his fingers traced along the silver necklace, his touch causing her to shiver.
Alex sat up just a fraction and reached behind her, unclasping her simple black bra. She pulled the straps away and let it join the rest of their clothing on the floor. She’d expected Evan to glance down at her naked breasts, but his eyes remained on her. She wondered what his thoughts were. If she was still as beautiful to him as she was their first time. To Alex, Evan was even more beautiful as she took him in.
She gazed at the bridge of his nose, noticing a faint freckle as she shifted her focus to his jaw to find a small scar. Alex reached up and pressed her fingers to it. “When did this happen?”
His fingers trailed down the middle of her breasts and down her stomach, causing her chest to heave in anticipation.
“Freshman year. I was running to third and collided with a Rice player. Don’t even remember it happening. He got me in the jaw, and I remember waking up in the hospital with some stitches and a concussion,” he explained as his hand dipped under the front of her yoga pants, cupping her between her legs and causing her breathing to hitch.
“Wh-why didn’t—” She moaned when his finger brushed along the crotch of her cotton panties. “Jesus.” Her hands grasped his shoulders as his fingers ran up and down her covered center.
“Why didn’t anyone tell you I was in the hospital?” Evan asked in a hoarse voice.
She nodded, trying to hold back another moan as his fingers spun circles, and she felt her thighs tremble.
“Because I asked them not to,” he explained as he moved her underwear aside and touched her, feeling how wet she was. “Christ, AJ,” he cursed when his finger slowly entered her. Heat consumed her as that finger retreated and plunged back in.
“Oh!” She gasped as his thumb returned to where it ached the most, spinning circles and causing her to moan his name. Her back arched as her eyes slammed shut. “Evan, oh my, God. Evan, I’m … oh … I’m close.”
His fingers stopped, and he pulled his hand away. Alex opened her eyes and felt a tugging sensation. She glanced down to find him pulling her pants and panties down. Once they were discarded, she parted her legs, expecting him to settle between them. Instead, he crawled between them as his breath hit her damp skin, causing her to sigh. She hated to compare her sexual partners, but Evan was by far the better lover when it came to oral sex. With Landon, she always felt too exposed.
Evan’s arms curled around her thighs as he parted them wider. His tongue flicked against her clit, and she let out a moan as her fingers dug into his hair.
Once.
Twice.
Three times did he flick against her before he flattened his tongue to intensify the pleasure, causing her hips to buck, desperately seeking detonation.
“I was scared,” he said before he sucked on her clit.
“Oh! You … Oh, God. Right. There … Scared?”
It was getting harder to think.
Harder to stop herself from falling off the edge. From falling into the euphoria she knew would consume her with pleasure.
“Yeah,” Evan said, giving her some mercy to catch her breath as he kissed the inside of her thigh. Then she felt his finger nudge her opening before slipping inside. He pulled out before he thrust two fingers inside, stretching her. Her heavy breathing turned into gasps as his other hand reached up and gently squeezed her breast. Alex grasped his hair, pulling at it as she moved her hips to meet each thrust.
“Evan,” she warned as her body tightened.
He doubled his efforts, his fingers thrusting deeper.
Harder.
Then his tongue massaged her sensitive clit as his fingers found her G-spot.
Her legs trembled as she felt her insides clench.
She wasn’t going to last any longer, and she gave up, allowing the pleasure to build.
And build.
And build.
Until Evan whispered, “Let go, AJ. Come for me.”
He thrust once more before a wave of pleasure captured her and encased her in white-hot satisfaction.
She fell back on her pillows, gasping for air as she trembled. Evan made his way up her body and kissed her softly. He kissed her lovingly and slowly as if they had all the time in the world.
“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbled against her lips, causing her to laugh. She reached for his waist and pulled him to her, his hardness pressing against her stomach. “I’ve missed you so much, AJ.”
“I’ve missed you, too,” she said, truthfully.
Evan’s thumb brushed against her bottom lip as she removed a hand from his waist and grasped his hardness between them.
“AJ,” he groaned.
“Why were you scared?” she asked as she stroked him from base to tip.
He inhaled a deep breath as he glanced down at where they connected, and whispered, “Shit, AJ,” before his eyes searched hers, and a smile tug at his lips. “I was scared that you might visit me.”
Her hand stopped stroking him. “What?”
Evan bent down and kissed her deeply. He brushed her hand away from his erection, and she broke their kiss to peek down. Need blossomed within her as she watched him wrap his fist around his hard length and guide himself between her legs.
Then she felt him there.
His tip pressed against her opening as his eyes found hers.
An unspoken question hung between them.
“I haven’t been with anyone since him. I’m clean,” she clarified.
He nodded. “I haven’t been with anyone since you. I’m clean, too. But …”
“But?”
Fear etched his face. “I don’t think I’m going to last very long.”
A smile broke out on her lips as she cupped his face and spread her legs wider for him. “It’s okay. We have all afternoon to make up for it.”
Evan made a small nod as he slowly pushed himself inside her, Alex feeling and loving that familiar stretching sensation. She watched enchanted as Evan’s lips parted and a silent moan escaped him. Moving one hand to the back of his neck and the other to his chest, she felt his fast heartbeat against her palm.
She loved him.
Loved his heart.
And his smile.
She had loved him all her life—even when she wasn’t supposed to.
“Tell me why you were scared,” she asked.
Evan panted, and she watched the muscles i
n his throat work as he swallowed hard. “I was scared because …” He pressed farther into her, causing her chest to heave. “I wouldn’t have let you go back to him, and I was sure that would have hurt you.” And then he thrust his hips and filled her completely.
To the hilt.
And she was full.
Evan Gilmore was inside her.
They were making love for the first time in over a year.
It had been him all along.
Her heart swelled at his reason.
“You let me love him longer?”
Evan nodded, his chest heaving. “Because I knew it would make you happy.”
She couldn’t take it anymore as she brought his head down, and his lips met hers. They kissed slowly, in time with his soft strokes. Alex whimpered as his pubic bone brushed against her most sensitive part.
“It’s you,” he mumbled against her mouth as his hips drove into her harder.
Longer.
With thrust after thrust, he kissed her jaw and her neck, caressing her skin with his breath. Alex threaded her fingers through his hair as she wound her legs around his waist, feeling him even deeper.
“Oh,” she moaned as she met his thrusts.
“Fuck, Alexandra,” he whispered by her ear. “It’s always been you. I have always loved you.”
“Evan,” she begged as his slick chest slid across her breasts with each flex of his hips.
On and on.
He entered her.
He pulled out of her, causing a needy ache to fill her.
“I love you, please.” She pulled his head up so that she could kiss him.
“Okay,” he agreed, and he drove into her with fast and hard strokes.
That familiar lick of pleasure at her spine came back.
And she knew she was close.
She could feel it.
Her orgasm was on the edge.
“I love you,” he confessed before she felt him stiffen. His erection throbbed, and he jerked inside her, spilling himself.
His orgasm set off hers, and Alex came, moaning his name.
Evan’s sweaty body fell on hers as his ear pressed against her breasts, no doubt hearing her rapid heartbeats.
