by Len Webster
Alex licked her lips nervously as she allowed for the truth to be set free.
Because she fell in love with him in Fenway.
And he deserved the truth within the grounds where she had kissed him for the first time during her sophomore year of college.
“I can’t stomach the idea of sitting here at Fenway with a complete stranger when I’ve shared all my best memories with you by my side. I don’t want to share more moments of my life with someone who isn’t you,” she revealed. “It already breaks my heart knowing that you sold the house we spent our own Christmas in. It hurts my soul that you’re going to LA. And I can’t continue a normal life here if I have to pretend that the person sitting on my right isn’t sitting where my best friend had once held my hand or cheered with me even when he didn’t want to.”
“No,” Evan said, surprising her. She was stupid for expecting him to give up his season ticket. Kyle had gotten it for him, just as he had for her. Then Evan reached up and grasped her hands in his. “It’s not happening, Alexandra. It’s not happening because I plan on going to every Red Sox game here at Fenway Park with you.”
Her heart had pieced itself together at his vow.
She knew she shouldn’t get her hopes up, but she’d allow herself to have a little hope.
For her baby.
Their baby.
My baby.
His baby.
Our baby.
Sickness roiled in her stomach as she blinked at him, realizing that she had to tell him.
It was only right.
She couldn’t take that right of making the decision of whether to be part of their baby’s life from him.
That was his right.
Not hers.
Alex pulled her hands free and wiped her tears away with the back of her hands. She was thankful she was wearing waterproof mascara, and she didn’t have panda eyes after examining her hand.
It was time.
He deserved to know.
Now before he leaves.
It might be the worst mistake or the best decision she would ever make.
Her heart clenched.
Her stomach flopped.
Her head became dizzy with guilt and hope.
So Alex took a deep breath, mentally told their child that it would be okay, and released that breath she had taken before she revealed to him the very truth she loved most about herself.
“Evan,” she said in a soft voice, giving herself a single second to walk away, but she couldn’t.
She couldn’t do that to him.
To herself.
And most importantly, to their child.
“Evan, I’m pregnant.”
85 At
astatine
ALEX
Sophomore year of college
“What time is it?” Alex asked as she stared at his strong jaw.
Evan reached over and turned the clock on her nightstand in their direction. “Just after four.”
Sighing, she lifted herself from his hard chest and sat up, brushing her hair behind her shoulder. “Sav will be here in like an hour. She can’t see us like this.”
“Right,” he said in sharp tone, causing Alex’s brows to furrow as he sat up.
“You want my roommate to see us naked in my bed the moment she walks in?”
Evan shook his head. “No, I’m sorry. It just sounded like you’re embarrassed to be seen with me.”
Alex reached up and cradled his cheeks so that his eyes were firm on hers. Her thumb softly brushed along his skin. “That couldn’t be further from the truth, Evan. Sav is optimistic when it comes to my love life. She’d approve too much, and I’d rather love you without the pressure of fulfilling everyone else’s hopes for us—especially when we go home.”
“And you feel nothing for him?” he asked as he wrapped his fingers around her wrists.
“I feel nothing for him,” she admitted as she swung a leg over his lap and straddled him. Then she pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. “I don’t love Landon like I used to. I love you, Evan. I’ve always loved you. You brought the real me back when I was home. You reminded me that my dreams are important, too. You gave me my best friend back, and I want to spend the entire summer with you and loving you.”
Evan’s hands left her wrist and captured her hips. “You know everyone will be home, right?”
She nodded. “I know.”
“We can keep us a secret,” he suggested.
Her heart twisted at his suggestion.
“A secret?”
A secret meant lying.
And lying about her love for Evan had been what she was good at for so many years.
This time, she didn’t want to lie.
But she knew that if they wanted to be together without the pressure of everyone’s expectation, they would have to remain a secret.
“We don’t have to be. But I know Hunt, Carter, Jordan, and Addison are going to be home, then there’s my brother and the Red Sox. We can’t walk around Boston holding hands without being stopped and asked about it. You know the papers. They’ll somehow write that we broke Kyle’s heart even though he’s madly in love with Angie.”
Alex’s hands fell from his face and rested on his shoulders. “And then there’s my parents,” she added. “Okay. Let’s figure us out before we let people know. That way if we don’t last the entire summer, we don’t let anyone down.”
Evan winced. “You don’t think we’ll last the entire summer?”
She let out a breath of air and gazed into those hopeful and fearful brown eyes. “I want us to. I know we can. I don’t want to be with anyone else but you.”
“And I couldn’t imagine the rest of my life with anyone but you,” Evan said in a soft voice as he leaned forward and kissed the tip of her nose. “Come on. We better dress before Sav comes back to the dorm. She might come back early.”
“You’re right,” she agreed as she climbed off his lap and sat back down on the bed. “You can take a shower if you want. We have a private suite.”
Evan nodded as he got out of the bed, then leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips. “I’ll grab your robe,” he said before he went to her door and removed the silk robe.
“Wait,” she said, taking in the present they ignored earlier on her dresser.
Alex was well aware of how in love she was with him. He promised to open it when she trusted him, and she did. She couldn’t love anyone else more than Evan Gilmore, and it was time he knew that.
“Everything okay?”
She nodded and pointed at the present. “Can you also bring the present I got you to me?”
His eyes widened, understanding what it would mean for them. Evan grabbed the box from the dresser and returned to her. He handed her the robe first, and Alex slipped it on. Then he sat on the bed and looked at the present in his hands.
“I’ve been tempted to open it,” he said as he gazed up at her.
“But you didn’t.”
He shook his head. “No, you told me to trust you, and I did. I do trust you, AJ.”
“Open it,” she encouraged. “I trust you. I trust the friendship you’ve given me. I trust the love you’ve offered me. I trust the life you’ve promised me. I trust you, Evan Gilmore. With my entire heart and soul, I trust you.”
Evan set the box on the bed, reached up and set his hand on the base of her scalp, bringing her lips closer to his. “With my whole heart and soul, I love and trust you, Alexandra,” he whispered before he softly kissed her. It was sweet. Innocent. Enough to feel his adoration and love. Then he pulled back and picked up the box. “Are you sure?”
She nodded with a laugh. “I’m sure,” she said as she tucked her legs beneath her, excited and nervous for him to open her Christmas present. It wasn’t the most expensive gift, but it
was priceless and, most importantly, symbolic.
It represented her trust and her love.
Her hope and her belief in him.
She offered him her future to share with him.
He just had to be patient and want her enough.
And as he tore away the ribbon, she was sure he understood the power of this present for them. Evan was careful as he ripped away the silver paper, letting it land on her sheets. Then he removed the lid and set it down with the paper. Alex held her breath as he reached inside and pulled out the blue Duke cap. Evan held it in his hands, staring at it. Getting on her knees, she pushed the paper, ribbon, and box out of her way as she kneeled in front of him. Alex took the cap from him and stared at it with a small smile.
Her heart beat hard in her chest. She remembered the day her eyes landed on the cap. What it felt to love him at that time. What it meant to her. Alex felt it all and more. She and Evan had grown so much since they parted ways the first time in Brookline.
Now, she was ready.
She had said goodbye to her past and was ready for her future.
A future she took her time accepting, needing, and wanting.
Alex lifted her chin, her smile deepened as she took in Evan’s soft brown eyes. She inhaled a deep breath and set the cap on his head. “You gave me an opposition’s cap and told me to trust you, and I did. When I bought this cap, I wasn’t just giving you an opposition’s cap because that’s what we did.”
“You didn’t?”
She shook her head as she cupped his jaw in her palms and straddled his lap. She glanced at his lips before she stared into his eyes. “I was sharing Duke with you.”
His lips parted with wonder. “You were?”
“I was,” Alex confirmed, her thumb brushing his scar. Had Kyle told her that he was in the hospital, she had no doubt she would have gone to see him to make sure that he was all right. She was sure she would as she was sure of her love for him. “I took Stanford away from us, Evan.”
“Hey,” he said, grasping her hips. “It was better this way. You’re here. You’re happy. You’re your own person. It was for the best. You got to be you, AJ.”
She nodded as he brushed her tears away. “I bought this cap because I wanted to share Duke with you. I hid it from you for so long, and I didn’t want to do that anymore. I bought this cap intending to make it work between us. That when you were here at Duke, you were always here with me. That you could trust me to always keep you safe the way I trusted you to keep me safe with the Rockies fans. I wanted you here at Duke with me. I wanted to love you here. Trust you here. I wanted to share my life with you here at Duke.”
“Do you still want all those things with me?”
Alex looked at the stitched Duke cap and nodded. “I want to love you here at Duke, Evan,” she whispered, lowering her lips to his. “I want to trust you here.” She pressed a kiss to his lips and grasped the brim of his cap so it wouldn’t fall. “I want to share my life and Duke with you.” Then she kissed him deeper, feeling all the love she withheld from him burst.
Evan pushed her onto her back and pressed his body to hers. “I want to share my life and Stanford with you. Thank you for this gift, Alexandra. I understand why you asked me to wait until you trusted me again, and it makes it worth so much more to me.” He ducked down and kissed her.
Wrapping her arms around him, she knocked the cap from his head and laughed when it fell off the bed. “Sorry,” she mumbled against his lips.
He laughed as he pulled back. Evan glanced over at the cap and then back at her. “Should I pick it up?”
“Leave it,” she replied as she pulled him back to her.
“But …”
Alex shook her head and peeked over at the time. “We have less than an hour before I can’t have you like this. Just be with me.”
He didn’t fight her.
Instead, Evan Gilmore kissed her.
He touched her.
His lips left promises on her skin.
And most importantly, he whispered, “Eight protons. Eight neutrons,” as he made love to her, but this time, he also added …
“Forever.”
It was the final day of her sophomore year of college and Evan’s second day at Duke. He had a ticket booked for later tonight to return to California from Massachusetts. As he promised, he would accompany her back to Boston where he would have dinner with her and her parents before he returned to Stanford for the rest of his sophomore year.
To keep their undefined and new relationship a secret, Evan slept on the floor to throw off her roommate’s suspicions. When Savannah had asked what was going on between them, she had lied and said that she and Evan were just best friends again. That he only came to Duke to help her pack before they returned to Massachusetts. Alex could tell that Savannah didn’t believe her, but it seemed she changed her mind when Evan laid down sheets on the rug and Alex handed him a pillow.
When Savannah left their dorm, they snuck quick kisses and whispered words. Then Alex showed Evan around campus, confident she wouldn’t run into anyone on the basketball team. Most of the team had already left, and to her relief, no one stopped to ask her who Evan was. It was quite clear no one paid her any attention now that she wasn’t the basketball team captain’s girlfriend. The only person Evan met at Duke was Mika, her lab partner. Alex had introduced Evan as her best friend, and to her surprise, he seemed proud of the title. Mika was welcoming and friendly, and Evan had appeared to like him.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to help you with the rest of your boxes, Sav?” Evan asked as he secured the fridge in the back of Savannah’s truck.
Savannah smiled as she took the box from Alex and headed toward the back of the truck. “Y’all have a flight to catch. All the heavy things are already in the truck. The rest is stuff I haven’t packed just yet. Seriously, y’all better get a move on. The cab will be here soon.”
Alex smiled once Savannah set the box down and returned to her. “You better come to Boston this summer.”
Savannah laughed. “Yeah, because besides your mother’s restaurant—which I love that I can always get a table at because of you—Della’s has the best garlic fries I’ve ever had. So yeah, y’all will be seeing me. Plus, I can’t imagine going the whole summer without seeing my best friend.”
“I can’t imagine going the entire summer without you.” Alex wrapped her arms around Savannah and held her tight. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too, Alex.”
“AJ, the cab is here,” Evan said, interrupting them.
Alex unwound her arms from around her best friend and brushed away the tear that had escaped. Out of all the people she had met at Duke, Savannah was by far the one Alex cherished and was thankful for the most. “Drive safely back to Vermont, okay? And if you need to stop in Brookline, please do. Oh, and if you need a place to stay in New York, call my uncle. I don’t want you to stay the night anywhere else if you don’t need to.”
Savannah rolled her eyes. “Yes, Alex.” Then she smiled at Evan. “She might be your best friend, but she’s mine as well. You take care of her in Brookline.”
“I will,” Evan promised. “AJ, you forgot to tell her about the thing.”
“Oh!” she said, surprised that she had forgotten. Her roommate swung her suspicious gaze over to Alex. “Sav, I know you hate the dorms in the morning. And you hate it at night when you come home and see people you don’t want to see who stick their nose in your business. So I was thinking …”
“What were you thinking?”
“I was thinking about moving off campus for junior year and wanted us to share an apartment together,” Alex suggested.
Savannah’s blue eyes widened. “Alex …”
“I need more space than a dorm offers. Some of the best physicists started planning for their postgrads during
their undergrad. That’s what I have to start planning for, life after Duke.”
A hesitant smile sprawled across Savannah’s lips. “Alex, that’s a great idea. But I can’t afford rent and utilities. What I make at Chino’s would never cover it. I won’t be mad if you find another roommate who can afford to live with you. You’ll want something nice, and I can’t afford anything nice.”
Brushing her hair behind her ear, Alex stepped forward and set her palm on Savannah’s shoulder. “I don’t want another roommate, Savannah. I want you.”
“But I can’t afford—”
“Neither can I,” Alex said, cutting her off. “My parents are covering it.”
“No,” Savannah said firmly. “Absolutely not. I am not letting your parents pay for my living expenses. That’s not happening, Alex.”
“Please, Sav? It’s one of the only requests my mother has for letting me move off campus and away from Duke basketball. Please?”
Savannah glanced at Alex and then at Evan before she sighed. “Fine. On one condition.”
“Okay?”
“I have to pay rent.”
“That’s non-negotiable. My father insists.”
Savannah glared at her. “I am not a charity case, Alex.”
“You’re not a charity case, Sav. I want to live with you,” Alex said as she reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out her phone. She unlocked it and dialed the last number she had called. It rang twice before her father picked up.
“Hello, Alexandra,” he greeted.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Is everything okay? Did your flight get canceled?”
Alex grinned at the horror on her roommate’s face. “No, Dad. We’re about to leave for the airport in a second, but I just asked Sav to move in with me and she insists on paying rent.”
Her father laughed. “Can you put her on?”
She handed her roommate the phone. “He’d like to speak to you.”
“I hate you,” Savannah hissed as she snatched the phone from Alex and set it to her ear. “Hello, Noel … Oh, yes. I understand. I know you care about my education and that college is expensive but … You shouldn’t have to worry about me. I love that you and Clara care, Noel … Yes, Alex is my best friend, and I’d love to live with her, but … No, I insist. I will fight you and your wife. Really? Pay whatever I can each month? That works for me. Thank you, Noel. Tell Clara I said thank you, too. I’ll be sure to visit this summer. I’ll speak to you soon. Bye.” Then Savannah hung up and handed Alex back the phone. “Your dad would like me—if I want to and if it’s possible—to work less at Chino’s and study and experience college. He said college was some of his best years, so I shouldn’t spend all of mine behind the counter making coffee. So I guess your hot father is persuasive.”
