by Len Webster
“You will make my daughter happy?”
“It’s my life’s purpose.”
Her heart threw itself against her chest as she glanced up at him. She knew from the seriousness on his face that he meant it. That he was sure of it.
“You won’t ever hurt my daughter again.” It was an order rather than a question.
“Mr. Parker, months ago I told you the reason I hurt your daughter. I was trying to protect her. I know I did it wrong, and then she fell in love with someone else. The pain of someone else hurting her is a hurt that I never want to experience again. And to know that I have hurt her worse than that makes me sick. I won’t ever hurt Alexandra.”
“And you love my daughter?”
“Entirely.”
Her father nodded. He inhaled a deep breath before saying, “I approve of you dating my daughter. And I apologize for how I reacted in there. You have to understand that I’m her father, and she’s my entire world. So when Alexandra told me you two were together, I saw flashbacks of my little girl crying, and that had me saying no. But I know you, Evan, and you’re not that guy anymore. But I swear to God, I will never let you see her again if you repeat yourself. You might have my daughter’s heart, but I’m her father. I will always be her father. So long as you treat my daughter right, love her completely, encourage her, and support her, I approve of you and my daughter being together.”
Alex released Evan’s hand, stepped forward, and hugged her father. “Thank you,” she said into his chest as he cupped the back of her head, holding her. She felt like a small child again in his safe and loving embrace. She felt like no one could ever hurt her when her father held her. “I love you, Dad.”
Her father pulled her back and smiled down at her. “And I love you, Alexandra. I always will. So long as you’re happy, and he makes you happy, then you have my approval. Now, come on. Let’s go celebrate that you two have finally found your way before your mother decides she wants to work in that kitchen for the rest of the dinner service.” Her father stepped around her, and Alex spun to see him shaking Evan’s hand. “I’m proud of you, Evan, for standing up to me and for standing up for her. And for finally becoming the man I knew you could always be. I’ll see you both inside.”
When her father returned to the restaurant, Alex grasped Evan’s arm and turned him to face her. “You meant all that?” she asked. Her heart was close to exploding from the warmth and love that filled her chest.
“Every word.”
Her hands trailed up his arms and settled on the nape of his neck. “You have my father’s approval.”
He nodded. “That doesn’t mean I give up on proving to him, your mother, and you that I love you. I’ll continue to do that.”
“I love you, Evan Gilmore,” she announced.
Her boyfriend’s eyes swept around them. “We’re in the middle of Boston.”
She smiled. “It’s about time Boston found out which Gilmore brother I was and am truly in love with,” she said, and then she kissed him.
88 Ra
radium
ALEX
Now
I love you, AJ.
Alex repeated his words in her head as she watched him continue to stare at the sonogram of their baby. It was a picture from her six-week scan. She had the one from the scan a few days ago, but she would show him that later. She wanted to show him the very first image she saw of their child. Their Little Atom had grown in almost three weeks. According to her doctor, Alex was on track to give birth in early September, which meant her spot at MIT was not looking so secure. But she’d handle that hurdle when she saw the dean of admissions. But make no mistake, Alex would give up her Ph.D. for her child.
It was that simple.
As much as her heart soared that he still loved her, his love came with doubt, and she wondered the truth of it. He might only love her because she was carrying his child, so she wouldn’t let her heart hope for more. It was too risky. She couldn’t risk her baby losing its father because she was stupid enough to think they could be together again. Alex had to be smarter than that. He had broken up with her, and he was happier without her. She couldn’t just jump back into a relationship with Evan Gilmore. For now, she was content with knowing that her baby had two parents who would love him or her with all their hearts. That was what Alex wanted the most. Her heart could remain bloody, scarred, and torn, but her baby deserved the very best and that meant having a loving father.
A long time ago, she had dreamed of being married to Evan and having his children. Now, she had half that dream. Being with Evan was a dream she couldn’t have. Not if it could harm her baby’s relationship with him. So for the first time in almost four years, her love for him would find itself in an unrequited state once more.
She was back where they started.
Back to unrequited.
And she would have to find a way to be satisfied with her life being that way. Now that Evan wanted to be a part of their baby’s life, he deserved more than just a photo. He had every right to be a part of the pregnancy. Disregarding the memory of his lips on hers for the first time in two months, Alex pulled away the blanket and got out of bed. She made her way to her desk, opened the drawer, and pulled out the DVD. Once she closed the drawer, she picked up her laptop and returned to her bed. She sat down and leaned back against the headboard as Evan gazed up from the sonogram. Alex set the laptop on her thighs, lifted the screen, and logged in.
“I have something I want to show you, if you’d like,” she said as she opened the DVD case and popped out the disc.
“What is it?” Evan asked, scooting closer to her.
The feel of his body touching hers caused her heart to make those crazy, needy beats. The same beats it made two months ago when he asked her to stay.
Alex cleared her throat and stretched her lips into a smile as she pushed the DVD into the drive. “I had an ultrasound a few days ago, and it’s recorded on this DVD. Do you want to hear our baby’s heartbeat?”
“I want to hear our baby’s heartbeat.”
Reaching over, she opened her nightstand drawer and pulled out her earbuds. She plugged it into the side of her laptop and handed them to him. “You don’t want to hear?” he asked.
“I’ve already heard it.”
Evan handed her one earbud. “Listen with me.”
“Evan, you should—”
He shook his head. “I want to hear my baby’s heartbeat with the woman who’s carrying him or her.”
My baby’s heartbeat.
God, it sounds so good hearing him claiming our baby.
Alex put in the earbud just as Evan did, and then she pressed play on the menu and watched as his eyes fixated on the screen. Watched as his eyes widened when the beats of their baby’s heart boomed. Watched as his lips parted in awe. When he turned and set his palm on her stomach, Alex winced at his touch, overwhelmed by tears. She hadn’t meant to be this emotional, but she was. He was touching her stomach as if the ultrasound was live.
When he reached over and paused the DVD, Alex pulled the earbud from her ear. Evan Gilmore had never been more beautiful than at this moment. His eyes were soft with a beautiful gleam to them thanks to his unshed tears. The awe on his face made her breathless. He pulled his earbud from his ear and faced her. His palm softly returned to her stomach. “That was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard in my life, Alexandra.”
“I agree,” she said as she used her hand on her pillow to lift herself up, then press a kiss on his temple. His hand slipped away from her stomach. “You can listen to it again if you’d like while I take a shower.”
“You don’t mind?”
Alex picked up the earbuds and set them in his palm before she set the laptop on the bed. “Not at all. I listened to it all night after I got home. You can keep this copy. It’s yours.” She got off the bed and smiled
at him, relieved that he loved and was awed by their baby. “Would you like to stay for breakfast? I’m sure my mother won’t mind.”
Evan smiled at her, his eyes still holding that glint. “She already asked. I said yes.”
“Okay. I won’t be long,” Alex said before she made her way to her bathroom. When she reached the door, she glanced over to find Evan straightening his legs and setting her laptop on his thighs. He put in her earbuds and pressed play on her laptop. She smiled, loving that he wanted to listen to their baby’s heartbeats again.
But then Evan Gilmore did something unexpected—an act that tore her heart to shreds—because it made her fall in love with him all over again. He reached over, picked up her pregnancy book she had been reading, opened it, and began to read. Alex stood there for a moment and watched him, completely captivated by him.
She still loved him.
And as she stood there, pressing her palm to her stomach, Evan glanced over at her and smiled. They might not be together, but she knew he would make an amazing father.
I’m sure of it.
After breakfast, Alex and Evan spent time with her family. Lori and Reese caught Evan up on school, and the two sisters fought for his attention. And true to Evan’s good nature, he sat and listened to Granddad Marcus and Grandpa James discuss Australian Rules Football. Grandma Louise had put an end to Alex’s grandfathers’ argument on which team was better. According to Grandma Louise, it was not an appropriate conversation topic if it meant Alex’s cousins were exposed to family bickering. After Aunt Stevie, Uncle Julian, and Uncle Rob came over, Alex and Evan said their hellos, then went to his house.
Evan had tried to argue with her, but she told him that a promise was a promise, and even though it would hurt her, she would help him pack up the rest of his house for his move. Los Angeles. The elephant in the room. The elephant she was too scared to discuss.
After she had showered and dressed, she joined Evan on her bed and thought about how they’d work. He hadn’t said anything about staying in Massachusetts, and she knew it wasn’t fair for her to ask him to. Alex knew that she would more than likely have to move to California. She decided that once she helped Evan pack all his belongings, she would go home and search for apartments close to LA.
She probably couldn’t afford to live in the city, but she’d try her best to find something appropriate since there was no way she’d find a job with benefits. She had enough money for rent for a little while and enough to buy some of the things she would need for their baby, but she knew she’d have to access her trust funds sooner than she would have liked. There was enough to pay for their child’s future, but she didn’t want to use too much of it.
Alex did have one job prospect, and that was tutoring. She had her science degree from graduating at the top of her class at Duke. She could tutor high school and college students in all the major science and math fields. It wouldn’t be the most lucrative job, but it would be income. Once she found an apartment and was settled, she’d run ads and get in touch with people she knew. Some might judge her fall from grace, but she was about to become a mother. Her pride had no say. She was happy to go from working at the best research institute in the world to tutoring students if it meant her baby’s needs were met.
Alexandra Louise Parker had gone from MIT Ph.D. student to tutor. But at least she would still be using her knowledge and education. It was still a plan. And hopefully, she would have enough students sign up to tutor.
“I got more boxes,” Evan said as he entered his bedroom.
Alex had been sitting on his bed when he went to the garage to grab more boxes. He had told her that most of the furniture had already been sold with some of it staying at his brother’s request. Alex didn’t like that he had sold the house, but there was no point in Evan keeping up its maintenance if he was moving to California. Alex smiled as she got off his bed and took the flat box from him.
“Is it just your room that needs packing?” Alex asked as she began to build the box. Once he built the one he was working on, he traded, giving her the already constructed box and taking hers.
“Yeah,” he said as he constructed another box. “When you were sick the day of the gala, I got everything mostly packed. Are you sure you’re feeling okay to help? I can do it on my own, AJ.”
“You don’t have to worry. I’m feeling okay today.” Alex scanned his room. It was as if it were frozen in time. Other than his missing baseball jerseys and posters from the walls, it was still the same. “So where would you like to start?”
Evan frowned. “Umm, the closet?”
“Sure.” Alex made her way to the closet, set her box down, and flicked the light switch. Evan joined her and set his box next to hers. “I don’t know what you want to keep. Maybe you should decide, and I’ll just pack?”
“That works for me. I’ll pull down the boxes from the top shelves, and you can look at the ones on the bottom.”
Alex stepped over the empty boxes, sat on the ground, and pulled a box to her. She lifted the flaps and peeked inside. They were all his old board games they used to play. She laughed at the memories of him beating her at almost every game they used to play.
“What’s so funny?” he asked as he set down the box he pulled from the top shelf and sat next to her.
“They’re all your board games. What do you want me to do with them?”
Evan hummed. “You can have them if you want.”
“You want me to keep them? They’re not baby appropriate games.”
That had him laughing. “No, they’re not. We’ll make a not sure pile and decide later.”
Nodding, Alex pushed her box to the side and reached over and grabbed another. She set it in front of her and opened it, her heart dipping when she noticed what box it was. Alex reached inside and pulled out The Chronicle, Duke’s student newspaper. The paper did a highlight on her as a future physicist and she was on the front page with her professor. Evan kept it after all this time.
“AJ, you okay?”
“Yeah,” she said in a small voice as she set the newspaper back inside. “It’s all the newspapers and magazines I was in while I was at Duke. We’ll throw—”
“No,” he said, reaching over her and pulling the box from her.
“Why?”
Evan sighed. “I want to keep them.”
She shook her head. “It’s okay, Evan. My parents already have all of these.”
“No, AJ. I want to keep them for our son or daughter to read someday. You were inspired by the achievements of physicists, and I want our child to someday look at those articles of you and be inspired by all your achievements.”
She had no words as a tear slipped down her cheek, completely taken aback by his reason to keep all the newspapers and magazines. Alex reached up and brushed her tear away. “Okay,” she finally said and cleared her throat, hating that got her so choked up. “What’s in that box?”
Evan looked down, reached inside, and pulled out old pictures. Then he handed her a stack. “They’re photos from our senior year of high school.”
Alex laughed the moment she came across Hunter Jamison in the water dunking booth he volunteered to sit in for charity. She flipped to the next photo of Evan. It was his official high school baseball team picture. She showed it to him, and he rolled his eyes.
When she came across a picture of him at prom, a lump formed in her throat. It was of him and Addison. The date he chose over Alex. They were dancing, and they had smiles on their faces. Prom had been the night she thought Evan had chosen her. She had gotten a dress in New York and had her hair and makeup done so that she was the perfect date. But after he had taken pictures with her for her parents, he told her he was choosing Addison to please his coach. It was the night she realized that Evan would never see her as more. He had broken her heart that night, and she had chosen Duke instead of Stanford.
Alex continued to look through the stack and came across pictures from their senior homecoming. No one had asked her, so she didn’t attend. But in the pictures, she saw that Evan had indeed lied to her—though, she asked him to. Homecoming looked amazing. And in the next picture, he was holding Addison in a sway. She wasn’t sure why she suddenly felt so hurt, but she was. Alex hadn’t meant to cry, but it was happening.
“AJ?” She lowered the pictures so that he could see. “Oh.”
All the pain she suffered came back to her. Every heartbreak he put her through made those tears fall. And what hurt the most was that she was packing away their memories.
If not in this box, there’d be ruminates of them in another.
They would be thrown out.
There would be nothing left of them.
“We never got a dance,” she said in a small voice.
“No, we didn’t.” He sounded as sad as she felt.
Alex brushed her tears from her cheeks and looked at him. “We’re never going to have a first dance,” she realized out loud. “I’m never going to know what that’s like with you.”
Evan dropped his pictures in his box. “Alexandra …”
“I can’t do this,” she revealed in a sob as she stood. “I can’t pack up memories of us because I know that means we’re done. I told you I’m pregnant, and you’re moving on with your life. I don’t know why I expected you to stay, but you’re not going to, and it isn’t fair to just come back into your life and expect you to drop everything for me and this baby. But please, I can’t do this. I can’t pack away pieces of our lives together because that hurts, Evan. It’s torture. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this.” Then she stepped over her box and made her way out of his closet.
Before she could reach his bedroom door, Evan raced after her, gripped her hand, and caused her to come to a stop. “AJ, please.”
Letting out a strangled breath, she spun around. “How do we do this? Do I move to LA to make this work? Is that what you want? Because I can do that.” Tears streamed down her face. “But then I’m just the mother of your child who followed you so that our child can be part of your life.”
