by Ruby Vincent
“I’m sorry, Derek.” I widened my stance, pressing his leg against my middle and his against mine. The acts of our bodies were at odds with the seriousness of our conversation. “None of this would have happened if I didn’t force myself into your lives.”
Derek found his way under my panties and dug his fingers into my ass. I hissed as he moved my hips, rubbing me against him. “Mom said that many times but she’s wrong and so are you. It’s no good playing happy family when the root is a lie. I won’t pretend it didn’t mess me up at first, but now I’m glad to know the truth.
“Jonathan Grayson could have rejected us both. Instead, he’s been nothing but the best fucking dad since the nurse put another man’s kid in his arms. This changes nothing for me, but Mom had trouble believing I was fine. She says I don’t tell people what I truly feel. Wonder where she got that from.”
I threw my head back, letting out a moan. The friction on my clit was sending shockwaves through my body. This was tame compared to the things I’d gotten up to with Cole and Landon, and yet I was trembling in his hold like a virgin.
“They grounded me for lying and running off,” he continued.
I lifted my foot as I ground against the bulge poking my thigh. My mouth dried just hearing his breath grow labored.
“But they were on me the whole time,” Derek forced out. “Mom canceled filming and stayed home. Every day checking on me, making me spend quality time with them, only letting me off the p-property for family counseling.”
How can he talk right now? I was barely hanging on to my name and the ability to stay upright.
Tugging my dress down, I popped one breast free.
“Fuck, Zela.” Derek immediately tweaked the innocent little pebble until my core wept. I bit my lip hard but my moans hissed through my teeth.
“After all that, they still didn’t want me to come back to Breakbattle.”
I shook loose of my fog. “What? You weren’t going to come back?”
He shook his head. “No, and damn, we went at it. They both want me to forget all of this happened and go back to the way things were... hard to do when I go to school with you.”
My grip tightened. “So they do want us apart.”
“Of course they do. You’re a reminder of the worst time of their lives. But we have to be together, Zela.” He released my nipple and took hold of my chin. “I belong to you.”
Derek slipped inside of me. I arched my back as I cried out, “Yes. You belong to me. You always have. You always will.”
“We’ve wasted so much time.”
Derek’s words whispered around me, filling me, enveloping me. I picked up speed, rubbing against him as I sensed our orgasms coming.
“We should have been together years ago. Instead, Landon, Cole, and Michael got there first. Your first kiss should have been mine. Your virginity should have been mine. Your first ‘I love you’ should have been mine.”
“They would have been.”
I loved Michael, Cole, and Landon absolutely, and I wouldn’t have changed a thing that happened between us, but deep down I knew, if I had walked into orientation week thinking Derek was just another guy instead of my brother, he would have claimed all of my firsts.
“But it had to happen this way,” I said. “Or we wouldn’t have gotten to this.”
“I know... but it doesn’t change what I have to do now.”
“What does that m-mean?” I was practically bouncing on his thigh. He crooked his finger, hitting the right spot while I rubbed against his length.
“I said I would share you,” he replied with a guttural groan, “and I will. But it’s important that you know you belong to me just as much as I belong to you.”
His nails dug into me, marking half-moons on my ass, and the pain was the final push over the edge. I came violently, body convulsing as a small scream ripped from my throat.
I slumped against him. The only thing keeping me up was Derek. He tilted my head up. His hair was dark where it stuck to beads of sweat on his forehead. It thrilled me seeing the glassy sheen over his eyes—he was no less affected than me.
“We’re making up for lost time.”
He bent and I parted my lips for a kiss. Derek’s hand left my middle. He held my gaze as he curled his tongue around his finger.
“Now I know how you taste,” he said softly. “I’m going to know everything else about you.”
Desire pooled in my lower belly. We just rutted against each other like wild animals and I was already hot enough to go again. I did not understand the hold he had on me. I don’t believe I ever would.
“I’ve never been able to hide myself from you,” I said. “Not even when I was Zeke. All that’s left to know is sexual.”
“I’m not hearing a problem with that.”
Derek lifted me up and gave me the kiss I’d been waiting for. I melted into him, pouring two months of agonizing separation into a hungry, almost brutal kiss.
“You’re going to come to me every day,” he growled against my lips. “Here. Where we can be alone.”
“Yes.” It didn’t occur to me to disagree. I’d go wherever Derek wanted me to go. School rules be damned.
“We’ll start now.”
Derek stepped out of my grasp and pulled his shirt over his head. I watched in equal parts bewilderment and excitement as he balled it up and set it on the ground. “The least I can do is make you comfortable.”
We shed our clothes in the clearing with feverish hands. Derek guided me down, resting my head on his shirt, and then proceeded to kiss and lick every inch of my body, starting from my toes. He took his time, not letting me rush him on his ventures along my pale, quivering thighs. It was the most intimate experience of my life and I orgasmed two more times on the tickling bed of grass.
“I’m on the pill,” I rasped.
Derek found his way to my nipples. He flicked them with his tongue, undoing me molecule by molecule.
“Make love to me.”
“Not now.”
My nails dug into the dirt. “Why? We’re alone. We have all day.”
He dropped kisses down the valley of my breasts to continue his torture on the other one. “We’re not doing it here.”
I bit out a groan. “How in the hell did I end up with the only four guys on the planet who turn down sex when it’s offered up on a silver platter?”
His chuckle vibrated my nipple. “Can’t you tell how much I want you?” He pressed his length against my sex to drive home his point. “There’s nothing more I want than to make love to you, but we’re going to do this the way we would have if we had known the truth back then.”
“But—”
“Shh.” Derek kissed me—long and slow, weakening my muscles and my resolve.
I’d give him whatever he wanted. When had I ever said no to Derek Grayson?
Chapter Four
We walked back to school hand in hand. I leaned against him, so happy I could bust. The trick was keeping it off my face. Derek’s smirk every time he looked at me told me how good a job I was doing.
“This really is my lucky dress.”
“What?”
“Nothing.” I draped his arm around my shoulder and burrowed in his side. “I wish I was still on the boys’ side,” I said. “Being Zeke for another year is a small price to pay to read books in your room, talk all night, and fall asleep on your bed.”
He kissed the top of my head. “We couldn’t do that anyway thanks to Sondheim. Gotta get creative with places to meet up.” Derek traced a pattern on my collarbone. “You’ll come to me tomorrow and every day after. On the weekends, I’ll pick you up.”
I shivered under his touch. “What about your parents? My mom?”
“No one is going to keep us apart. It tore me up believing I couldn’t be with you.” He put his finger under my chin and raised me to meet his lips. “We will be together, Zela.” He kissed me. “Zela,” he whispered. “Have I ever told you how much I love your name?”
“No one loves my name.”
“Everyone else is idiots. Your name is perfect. Unique, strong, fierce. No other girl could have stormed into my life and made me fall in love with her. Only Zela could.”
Warmth spread through my body like sunlight dancing on my bare skin. “I love you,” I said softly.
“I love you too.”
Together, we passed through the trees onto the soccer field. The grounds were mostly empty. Only the Elite roamed the school, prepping for another year of being on top. Somewhere on the boys’ side were Michael, Cole, and Landon. Close and at the same time farther from me than they’d ever been. I would have to carve time to be with all of them this year. Derek may have claimed my mornings, but those three belonged to me too.
Derek walked me to the side entrance and kissed me over the threshold.
“Tomorrow. Seven o’clock. Come to the clearing.”
“I’ll be there.”
I went upstairs floating on a high. The only thing that would have made this day more perfect was making love to him. He wanted us to take it slow—to make each moment last and infuse it with meaning like it would have been if we had fallen in love at the right time and in the right way.
I loved him for that. Derek reminded me at the perfect moments that underneath he was the sweetest guy.
But months of teasing like he put me through today will unravel my mind like soldiers hooked on LSD. I couldn’t resist giving him what he wanted. Let’s see if I have the same power over him.
I walked onto the Elite floor and made for the third door on the right.
“So, it’s true.”
Three girls emerged from the room two doors down. I recognized the girl leading the pack immediately. She was the one who bumped me down the table at the Graysons’ reception last year, crowing about Fs sitting at the end.
Copper strands flowed out of a black beret. Few people pulled off the look, but taking in her cornflower blue eyes, bow-shaped lips, and narrow nose, I had an inkling she pulled off everything. The face of a goddess. The cruel twist to her lips that said she knew she was one.
“Whittaker didn’t kick you out.”
“Looks like it,” I said simply.
The girls fanned out around me. I moved with them, keeping their leader in my sights.
Everly, Isla, and Adeline if I remember Melody correctly. She told me there was a group of girls in her class who loved being Elite a little too much.
“Seems like there’s nothing you can do wrong, F,” said Everly. “Cheat your way to the top, sleep with half the Elite boys—”
“Not half,” I broke in. I flashed her a grin. “I’m sleeping with forty percent of the Elite Boy Class. Adam and I are just friends.”
She bared her teeth. “Thanks for clearing that up. I’ll give you this much, whatever you’re putting out has those boys hooked. Landon, Cole, Michael, and Derek have closed up shop since you spun them into your androgynous web. It’s a shame because Isla and Cole really had something.”
Everly jerked her chin to the girl on her right with long, brown hair and sable skin. Isla sniffed. “I’m not jealous. I’m with Lars now. It’s just a shame because he doesn’t give head nearly as well as Cole did.”
My stomach twisted. Of course the boys had a past, but I wasn’t fond of said past walking up and throwing it in my face.
“Do you need something?” I asked.
Everly closed the distance between us. “We just want to make sure you understand something. You got away with shit because you had your boyfriends watching your back. That’s over. You’re on our campus now, Zela, and if you pull that Battle Doctor shit, we’ll make sure the expulsion sticks.”
I raised a brow. “Wow. Threatening to get me kicked out for giving a couple of kids tips and tutoring sessions? You’d think the top students in the school wouldn’t be so intimidated.”
“We’re not intimidated,” she snapped. “The Failures and Dumbshits couldn’t hope to beat us if they went back in time and made better choices. Either way, you’re one of us, so you need to act like it.”
Standing up straight, I saluted her. “Message received.”
Everly scoffed. “Whatever. Just don’t think we’re playing around.”
“Oh no. Sadly, I know you’re serious.”
The girls strode off, missing my eyeroll. I left the boys’ side only to run into the female Sullivan. It wasn’t enough for them to have all the privileges, parties, recognition, and fawning. They had to lord it over everyone else too.
“Zela, there you are.” Melody popped off the couch and snagged my arm. “Your suggestions were gold. I’ve been planning since you left. What I’m thinking is...”
I let her words wash over me.
New year. Same problems. Welcome to Breakbattle.
DEREK DID UP THE BUTTONS of my blazer. I was still a little shaky following the last orgasm. I woke up early and met him in the clearing as instructed. Derek was waiting for me with a blanket. He stripped me, laid me down, and buried his head between my legs. I came with body-wracking, throat-strangling cries.
I caught his hand and threaded our fingers. “Tomorrow,” I said, “we’ll have sex.”
He grinned. “Is that an order?”
“Yes.”
“Can’t.” I felt his smile as he pecked me on the lips. “We haven’t had our first date yet.”
“Yes, we have,” I protested. “The late nights—”
“Not a date.”
“Practicing together—”
“Not a date.”
“Spending time at your place—”
“Definitely not a date.”
“Hiding away at the cabin.”
He brushed his lips against mine, soft and addictive. “Simultaneously the worst and best weekend of my life... but not a date. I want to do this right.”
“But we love each other and we want to be together. It is right.”
Derek cupped my cheek. “You want us to move faster because you’re already on that level with Landon, Michael, and Cole. You’re not in one relationship with four guys, Zela. You’re in four relationships. Ours has to move at the right pace.”
I pressed my face into his neck, breathing him in. He was right and I knew it. This was the same situation with Michael. He needed to know what we had was real and our own. My relationship with Derek was a roller coaster that shot off track and fell plunging toward a screaming, fiery explosion more than once. He had to trust that we were on the right path now.
“I understand,” I said. “I really do, but weeks and months of these morning meetings are going to reduce me to a quivering mound of goo.”
“You do quiver. Especially when I kiss you here.” He caressed the base of my spine. “Or lick you here.” Derek lazily moved up and stroked my breast through my clothes.
I bit back a moan. “You’re doing this to me on purpose, aren’t you? It’s payback for believing you were my brother.”
“Fuck. You caught me.”
“Derek!”
He laughed. “I’m kidding. No revenge plot here. And trust me, it won’t be months or even weeks. I couldn’t hold out for that long.”
A smile spread across my lips. “Yeah?”
“Yes.” He stood us up and pulled me to his chest. “What are you doing this weekend, Manning?”
I threw my arms around his neck. “Going on a date with you.”
“Correct answer.”
We walked back to school with grins that read like signs over our heads. All the crap coming my way once school officially started couldn’t dent my delirious happiness. Returning to Breakbattle was the right choice.
Derek and I parted before the main doors. He went upstairs to put away the blanket and I continued on to the cafeteria. The place was an Elite-only zone since move-in didn’t start for the rest of the school until after breakfast. I walked in and had no trouble finding Landon.
Smirking that smirk, he pushed back his chair and patted his lap
. I all but ran to him.
Squealing, I hopped on top of him, straddling his waist, and pulled him in for a passionate, tongue-clashing kiss.
“I missed you so much.” I peppered his face, chin, nose, and mouth with kisses. “Don’t ever leave again.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He grasped my hips, holding me firm. “I missed you too. I’m going to show you how much tonight.”
I shivered. I was rife with sexual frustration. A night with Landon was the perfect cure.
“I know where we can go,” I said into his ear. “We’ll sneak away after dinner.”
“Perfect.”
Something caught my eye. I looked up and made eye contact just as the girl whipped around. It was obvious she had been staring and the side glances the rest of her table were giving me backed it up. I didn’t recognize them, which meant they were freshmen.
If they are, how do they know I’m an object of fascination? Am I being stared at for pretending to be Zeke, dating four guys, or being accused of murder?
The girl inched back around and found me looking right at her. Her freckled cheeks flushed red but embarrassment didn’t stop her from sneering. Whatever she knew, her feelings about me were clear.
The sound of a tray hitting the table made me look up. Cole pushed the food in front of us.
“For you,” he said simply and went off to get his own.
“Aw. Cole can be so sweet when he’s ready.”
Landon plucked a sausage off my plate and tore off a bite. “He better be sweet to you. He told me you guys made it official over the summer.”
I peeked at Cole. What else did he tell you we did over the summer? Not that I’m under any delusions that the guys don’t talk about me. I wonder if that extends to our sexual escapades.
Thinking of sexual escapades...
Leaning back, I took a deep breath and held it. I owed it to Landon to have this conversation, but even the thought of hurting him made me sick. Derek wanted to be my first, but Landon actually was. I wanted my first love to be happy.
“Landon, I need to tell you something.”
