Luella looked happy when she jumped down. “It seems more and more likely that I’m carrying. I’m overjoyed.”
“I’m so happy for you. It’s such a special time in a woman’s life. Be sure to enjoy it.”
“I’d best go talk to Declan before he leaves with the cattle and horses. I’ll look for you when I’m walking.”
Dawn watched her leave. How she envied Luella. As much as she tried, she couldn’t forget the last time she saw her baby. Her heart grew heavy.
Everything was packed up, and she was just about to get inside the wagon when Heath came with the oxen and a drover.
“Dawn, this is Eli. He plans to make a life for himself in Oregon. Aren’t you Eli?” The man looked to be about fifty, and his clothes were so stiff with grime she wondered how he moved in them. She found herself standing downwind of him and it wasn’t good. She’d smelled plenty worse though.
“It’s nice to meet you, Eli. Do you have family traveling with you?”
“No. I never had time or the inclination to marry. Before now, that is.” He smiled at Heath.
“It’s almost time to leave. Do you know if the Captain was located?” She gazed at Heath.
“Well ma’am, he ate something that didn’t agree with him and he had to go dig himself a big hole to sit on. He was there most of the night. It didn’t sound like a pretty sight.”
“Well yes, I don’t think I need any more information. I’m glad he’s back.”
Eli frowned. “You do know he’s married, don’t you?”
She didn’t acknowledge his insult as she turned away and climbed into the wagon, closed the tailgate and cinched the canvas. Did Eli think she was interested in the captain? The nerve! She sat and laid her forehead against her knees. Did others think that too?
It worried her through one river crossing and then the next one. She stayed in the hot wagon through the nooning. Cora tried to get Dawn to eat but Dawn wasn’t hungry. She was still trying to remember talking to the captain and what was said. Had she behaved improperly around him? If that man Eli knew about it, then everyone but her knew it too.
She’d ask Heath about it when they stopped at Strawberry Creek. It was a pretty name.
* * *
It was a relief to see grass, water, and trees. Heath felt heartened. He’d get Dawn to come out tonight. He’d check out the river first, but maybe he could offer her a swim in the river. He’d have to find out if they were staying an extra day or not. He needed to check all the wheels on both wagons. It got rocky toward the end.
He took their place in the circle and looked into the wagon. She looked so sad and somewhat bewildered. Maybe Luella knew what was` wrong with her. After he climbed down he unyoked the oxen and brought them to be watered. He then rubbed them down with handfuls of grass. Since he’d been doing a lot of the driving lately he hadn’t taken care of the livestock, Zander and Declan had that job. He missed being on a horse. Driving cattle wasn’t as boring as driving the wagon.
He walked the oxen over to a large area so they could graze with the other animals.
“Heath, wait up!” Eli hurried to him. “If she has her eye on the captain, then why did you think she’d make a good wife for me?”
“I don’t think her interest was anything but concern for the person who was leading us to Oregon.” Heath shrugged.
“So I still have a chance. She sure is pretty.” He scuffed his feet in the dirt. “I know the drawbacks about what happened to her, but I haven’t the time or know how to court a woman. I bet they made her work hard. That’s what I need, someone who works hard.”
“I’m sure your chances are about the same as any. Though you are the first man I’ve introduced her to.”
“Did she say anything about me today?” Eli looked hopeful.
“You know, she was really quiet. I have no idea what it all means.”
“I’ll be there for supper. See you in a bit.”
Declan stopped Heath before he left the area. “I didn’t know you and Eli were friendly. He looked as though you were his best friend.”
“No you have that unsavory job. I brought him by the wagon this morning to meet Dawn. I got it in my head that she’d have more security if she had a husband. Plus I offered her a job in Oregon. I told her she could live with me, but after I said it I wished I could take it back. It wouldn’t be right to have her there with me.”
Declan nodded. “I have some good news. Luella is with child.” Declan’s smile was contagious.
“So soon?”
“Yes, so soon. You’re going to be an uncle.”
“And you a father. Our lives have changed in the last few months. Congratulations. I’m happy for you both.”
“Luella told Dawn about it already. We were going to announce it at supper, but I didn’t want it to look like she knew and you didn’t. I need to find Zander and tell him. See ya at supper.”
Heath walked slowly back to the wagon. That was probably what had Dawn so depressed. It’s hard to be happy for someone who is getting what was taken from you. Good thing Eli would be there. Maybe he could take her mind off her problems.
She was busy stirring a pot that hung over the fire. Where was everyone else?
“Do you need any help?” he asked.
“No. I’m just trying to stay busy and out of trouble.”
“I hope you made extra. Eli is coming to eat with us.”
“As long as I’m up wind of him,” she said and smiled. “There’s always plenty. I made Cora and Luella go and rest. Oscar the scout stopped by and gave me a rabbit. I impressed him with my quick skinning skills. It feels good to be outside and cooking.”
“I’m glad you’re not moping around anymore.”
“Moping? Is wondering all day what I said or did to make the whole camp think I’m after a married older man moping? Then yes, I was upset and I guess moping. Every time I turn around, I’m accused of some type of misbehavior. I try to be a Godly woman but no one sees that. Maybe if I stepped on the tailgate and started reading really loud from the Bible people would notice. I would never ever think about a married man. I still know right from wrong. I hope wherever you all settle down it’s far away from the people talking about me night and day.” She took a deep breath. “I have one jar of peaches, and I’m making a pie, so if you’ll excuse me.” She walked to the tailgate and began gathering ingredients.
He grabbed the tent and set it up for Declan and Luella. Then he poured himself a cup of coffee after setting up crates around the fire.
Dawn gazed at the tent. “I don’t think Luella should be sleeping on the ground. I’m going to insist she sleep in the wagon.”
“There’s not really enough room for Declan in there too.”
“He can sleep under the wagon.”
“Where am I supposed to sleep?”
She smiled. “Right outside the tent flap.”
“You could offer and see what they say. I’m betting Declan wants to sleep with his wife.”
Zander strolled toward them. “I guess we’re celebrating tonight, but I’m not allowed to tell anyone.”
“Heath invited his friend Eli to eat with us. Are you friends with him too, Zander?”
“I know him. Not all that well. He seems like a good man.”
The conversation ended. The others showed up and took a crate. Eli had yet to show up.
“Let’s say grace,” Dawn suggested. “Declan would you do the honors?”
Declan stood and bowed his head. “Thank You, Lord, for the meal we’re about to eat. Thank You for keeping us safe on our journey. I am extremely grateful and thankful that You saw fit to make Luella and me parents. Praise the Lord.”
“Amen,” the rest chorused.
Declan asked that they do their hugs afterward, when they weren’t near the fire. Heath caught his gaze. Most had known about Harrison’s first wife. Her dress had caught fire and she had run, only increasing the flames. She had truly suffered before she died.
Cora stood. “Let me help you, Dawn.”
“Oh no. You fine women sit back and enjoy yourselves. Everyone has been doing for me, and it’s time for me to repay the favor.” She dished out the rabbit and bean stew, and when everyone got theirs she passed around the bread. She had just sat down when Eli walked over and sat next to her.
“Yes, I would like some,” he said to Dawn.
She didn’t look thrilled when she got back up but she gave him food and smiled. They all ate, and Heath watched Eli glancing at Dawn. Twice he moved his crate closer to Dawn’s and twice she moved away. She was trying to catch Heath’s gaze, but he refused to look at her. He was afraid he’d laugh.
When she sliced the pie and handed Eli his, Heath could see Eli was smitten. His plan to get her married was working.
“Eli, what do you plan to do once you get to Oregon?” Heath asked.
The other man puffed up as he replied. “I’m going to look around for land someone had worked and left. I figure there will be a house built already. I think I’m going to try my hand at farming. I could buy a few chickens, some pigs and cows. I’ll probably plant something too.”
“Sounds promising.” Heath wasn’t very convinced that Eli’s words had any truth to them. He stood and gathered the empty plates. “I will wash the dishes while Eli and Dawn take a nice walk together.”
Eli beamed as he held his arm out to Dawn. She just stood there and then began to walk. Eli fell into step beside her.
“I forgot she doesn’t like to be touched. I swear she was shaking right before she started walking,” Heath said.
“Since when have you and Eli become friends? Half the time he’s useless. You do know he likes to drink?” Zander asked a hint of annoyance in his voice.
“What do you want me to do? If I don’t get her married off and out of my life, I’ll end up responsible for her and there is no way that is going to happen!” Heath said as he turned to look at Zander.
He hadn’t realized that Dawn was standing there behind Zander. Her eyes grew wide and they puddled with tears. She turned and walked away.
Heath closed his eyes. “She heard every word I said. If you could have seen her face… I feel like someone punched me in the gut. Now what should I do?”
“Go after her?”
Heath huffed out a breath in frustration. “You’re a lot of help. I best get these dishes done.”
“You’re not going to go after her? You’ll regret it for the rest of your life. I see how you look at her.”
“Zander, that’s the exact reason I can’t go after her. I can’t have children with her. People would call them all kinds of names. No child of mine will be born into shame.”
“You’re a fool, Heath Leary. I’m going to be late for guard duty.” Zander stomped off.
* * *
Where could she go? The Shoshone were near. Maybe they’d take her in…or maybe they’d kill her. She got busy and made herself shelter for the night. She’d survive but she’d be alone. Maybe another party would come through and she could act lost or something.
She’d fashioned herself a lean-to to sleep in, and with nothing else to do, she crawled under the leaning branches and cried. She wept from the depths of her soul. How could she not have seen that he held hate in his heart for her? She used to be smarter about life. Now she was just a fool, hoping for a love that would never happen. It might have been better if she’d died when Kills Many threw her off the cliff.
What territory or state was she even in? She didn’t know what was ahead, but this area had water and wildlife. She’d build something better to live in when they moved on. There was bound to be snow in the winter here. She’d have time to gather and dry meat. She had little doubt there would be enough carrots, onions, and berries to eat. And there was fish. She quieted, but her soul still felt shredded. A chilled rolled over her and she shivered. Too bad she wasn’t wearing something warmer when she had run.
She would have never suspected that Heath felt the way he did. He’d held her on more than one occasion, and how he must have resented it. But no one had asked him. In truth, she had just been put upon him. She’d be better off alone. Her heart couldn’t take much more. She didn’t know if she could watch both Cora and Luella grow heavy with child while her arms were so very empty.
A noise had her freeze in place and listen. Her name was being called in the distance. She thought she’d gone far enough into the brush. She was sorry for the distress she was likely causing Cora and Luella, but it couldn’t be helped. They’d think she got lost or fled. They would move on tomorrow or be left behind.
To be truthful, she had seen Heath as a second chance at love. She only saw what she wanted to see, and the rest she must have made up in her mind. There were mountains not too far. Maybe she could find a trapper who wasn’t choosey. That really would be her best bet of surviving, at least for the coming winter. She’d head Northwest. Who knew? She might end up in Canada. Darkness came, and the wolves howled. She wasn’t afraid, she had her knife. She’d heard Indians walk by right before sunset. They probably had a camp nearby. She could hunt and make herself warmer clothes. She had learned how to do many things. God had most certainly prepared her for the journey she was to make.
The next morning, her conscience was getting the best of her. People were still calling out her name. Putting her friends through such bother shamed her. It wasn’t fair to them. They didn’t need more worry. It wouldn’t be very Christian of her. Setting things right with God was more important than her hurt feelings.
Dawn crawled out of her lean to and listened. She heard Harrison’s voice and walked in that direction. She also heard Heath calling, but she wouldn’t bother him again. Harrison took one look at her and his eyes widened.
“We’re you attacked? Are you hurt?”
She shook her head. “No, I was a bit lost, but I’m finding my way.”
“I know a whole bunch of people who will be happy to see you.” He took out his gun and shot it once into the air. “So people will know you’ve been found.”
Harrison put his arm around her shoulder as they walked. The clearing wasn’t as far away as she thought. Tears flowed down Cora’s face as she ran and hugged Dawn.
“Thank the Lord! Luella!”
“I heard the shot.” She stopped and smiled. “You don’t know how good it is to see you!” Dawn hugged her and rocked her for a moment.
“I need to go feed Essie. I’ll be back to hear what happened.” Cora hurried off to her wagon.
Captain London appeared. “That takes a load off my shoulders. I don’t think some of the people would move on without you. We leave at first light tomorrow. The women want to wash clothes and take baths. The next part of our journey will be rocky and uphill. The Continental Divide is about a day away. Oh, I want every wagon fixed or maintained and the oxen’s feet need to be checked. Some didn’t listen to me about putting shoes on the oxen and mules. Fools. Fools never listen to sound advice. You all right, Dawn? You look…well it looks like you had a hard time in the woods.”
“I’m fine, really.”
“I’m off to go yell at a few fools.” The captain walked to the nearest wagon.
Harrison led her to the fire outside his wagon. “Take a seat, and I’ll get you some coffee.”
“You’re a kind man.”
“That’s why I married him,” Cora yelled from inside the wagon.
Harrison handed Dawn the cup of coffee and his face had pinked at Cora’s words. Dawn was glad for the reprieve. She was in no hurry to see Heath.
“How are your feet?” Luella asked. “I could check the bandages for you.”
“I’d appreciate that. I think they get better every day.”
“How long did you walk before you realized you were lost?” Harrison asked.
Declan and Zander both joined them around the fire.
“Not long. I was upset when I ran into the woods. I should have paid more attention. When it started to get dar
k I made shelter and slept until this morning.” She raised her head and her gaze clashed with Heath’s.
“You didn’t hear us calling for you?” Heath asked.
He was trying to catch her in a lie or make her lie more. She gave him a dismissive look before she turned from him. “I was deep in thought, and of course I was planning what to do if I stayed in these parts.”
Everyone nodded and then Luella handed her a plate of food. “What kinds of plans did you come up with?
“I was concerned about the Indians in this area, and I hoped to avoid them. I have no idea what’s ahead of us. I finally decided to go into the mountains and see who lived there. Trappers are usually nice men. What I really wanted to do was build my own home. I could live off the land if I had to but I wasn’t sure I’d get one done in time.”
“I would have panicked,” Luella said. “I would have called for Declan over and over and gotten myself caught.”
“We’re glad you’re back,” Harrison said. “I’ll haul water. I know Cora wants to wash clothes.
Declan stood and kissed Luella on the cheek. “I’ll give you a hand.”
If things had been different, this would be the time Heath would say he’d help too, since she also had clothes to wash. Everyone else talked and laughed, but she felt so alone.
Chapter Eight
Dawn looked as though she’d tussled with a bear all night. Her hair stuck on end in a few places and her face was streaked with dirt. She didn’t seem to be harmed. He’d hurt her, and he felt like such a heel.
He didn’t even realize he harbored such hated words inside him until they came out. He was tired of everyone thinking Dawn was his responsibility. He was a free man in a free country, and he’d decide who he’d wed or if he’d wed at all. He’d been told what to do his whole life, and for once, he’d like a choice.
She or her children wouldn’t bring shame on anyone. He knew that. But he’d said it and she had heard him. Had she planned what to do because she didn’t plan to come back? Remorse filled him. He hadn’t been a good friend to her.
Dawn’s Destiny: Romance on the Oregon Trail Book 3 Page 8
