by Lucian Bane
He clicked out of the picture at hearing footsteps. Opening the file with the operation information, he glanced toward the door only to be hit with an ice-pic of pain at the base of his skull. Fuck these small head movements were getting brutal.
“You okay?” she whispered. Judging by the fast advance of her voice, she ran to him. He didn’t dare move as he sat with his eyes closed, waiting for Gorham to settle back down. Her fingers stroked along his arm, offering him a distraction while the pain gradually subsided.
“You ready?” he faintly said, opening his eyes carefully.
“Your drink first,” she said, presenting the water bottle to his lips with a straw. He drank, surprised as usual with how thirsty he was. Sometimes he felt like his body was working overtime without him even being aware. Would explain why he was always exhausted and thirsty.
Now horny, he realized when his cock stirred at glimpsing her hard nipple under the white silk robe. He followed her with his eyes as she made her way around the bed and climbed on next to him. “I’m ready.”
Her cheery tone made him nervous. He wasn’t sure how he’d feel about her response. “I’m going to show you him first, so we can get that out of the way.”
“Good idea.”
“Ready?” he asked.
She nodded, watching the screen. “Ready.”
He clicked the minimize button to the operation info and his pic was there.
“Oh boy,” she whispered. She looked at him. “What do you think?”
The excited wonder in her tone rolled off him. “No, what do you think?”
“I asked you first,” she fussed lightly.
“I think he’s not bad to look at. And as much as I want to be grateful about that…”
“I mean…”
He carefully turned enough to see her profile. “What? Just say it.”
She glanced at him, obviously curious over the edge in his voice but he couldn’t help it. She stared at the screen again. “I think… I’m getting ripped off, but what other options do I have?”
He couldn’t stop his grin at hearing her honesty. And it was definitely honesty, he knew what that sounded like by now with her.
“His eyes,” she said, sounding bothered.
“They’re dark.”
“Very. Like…”
“Dark chocolate?”
She gave him a furrowed brow. “If you say so.”
He smiled more. “What?”
“I was just…I mean I don’t want to insult your new mug Ben,” she scolded, like he was forcing her to by asking for her honesty. It made him laugh. “It’s not funny,” she whispered, making him chuckle more until she regarded him. “I don’t want to stop you from laughing but don’t get too worked up. I can’t stand when you get taken by those…bouts of pain.” She looked back at the screen and gasped. “Maybe you can get blue contacts!”
“Kiss me,” he whispered after staring at her for a few seconds. She turned in mild surprise then got serious as she moved in.
“I promise I don’t care that he’s not… cute. Looks aren’t everything.”
He reached up and pulled her to his mouth, pushing his tongue inside to reach hers. He moaned at the delicate sound she made and the way she met his tongue with hers, timid yet hungry.
“I love you,” he whispered, pulling back.
“I love you too.” She smiled, touching the growing hair along his upper lip. “I can shave you if you want. If you trust me.”
“Oh dear,” he muttered, smiling a little, watching her bite her lower lip. “And risk getting nicked by a razor before having my head removed?”
She went suddenly sober with mild wonder. “Oh God,” she said, seeming to think more about that. She looked at him then. “What will they do with your… head?”
He did a metaphorical shrug. “Donate it to science, I guess. Maybe they can get in there and find out what’s going on. Find something that will help others. Or we can bring it home and put it on a pike in the corner of our bedroom.”
He chuckled at the look of horror on her face. “Kiss me again.”
She moved in, still perturbed. “That would be so weird, you weirdo,” she whispered, kissing him.
“We could have a taxidermy fix me up. Maybe can put it on a doll body.”
“Ben! That is a horror story, stop!”
“We can let him sleep with us.”
“I mean it, stop it! You’re going to give me nightmares.”
“You could talk to him when we fight. Imagine me just sitting there listening while you went on and on, not a word.”
Her mouth remained open in appalled shock before she covered her laugh with a hand.
He grinned more. “Kiss me again before I…” His mind went suddenly blank. He stared at her, realizing it. “Never mind.” He didn’t want to tell her his brain glitched.
“What? Oh no, you can’t tease me like that! Kiss you or you’ll what?”
He eyed her, then like a computer coming out of a lag, his brain resumed normal function, handing him back the memories it had just stolen.
“Are you okay?” she wondered.
He looked at the computer. “Guess we should finish this. Then I’d like a shower.” He hadn’t had one in days, not a real one. Sponge baths only got you so far.
She gave a happy gasp. “I did get a shower chair! I can help of course.”
Damn. He wasn’t sure he could handle being in the shower with her.
“What?” she wondered, ever perceptive. “Bad idea?”
“Maybe.”
“I can go in clothed.”
“I would need you clothed,” he was sure, smiling a little. “I don’t want to have a heart attack or an aneurism before I get a new head.”
She knelt before him and petted his face, her eyes filling with tears. “I don’t want to lose you.” She pressed her lips on his, without moving them for many seconds. She pulled back, wiping the tears from her face. “You think…this is possible? All of this?” Tears spilled again and she quickly swiped them away.
“Let’s find out,” he said, carefully reaching up to slide his thumb on her cheek. Halfway through, his hand shook, and she gasped, clutching it in both of hers.
“I have you.” She pressed it to her heart, leaning to press small kisses to his cheek. “I’ll be with you every step.”
Heading to China
“So, when do I get to know everything?” Charlie asked after drinking all his orange juice and setting it on the table next to him.
Ben smiled, putting his last bite of eggs in his mouth. “As soon as we’re done with breakfast.”
“You talked to the doctor this morning, right?” he asked.
“Have you been spying, Charlie Brown,” Cheryl teased, getting her hand whacked away when she approached his cheeks. She laughed then sighed. “My baby is growing up, Ben. Did you see that?”
“I did.” Ben lifted his glass of milk and carefully brought it to his mouth. Halfway there, his hand began to tremble.
“I got it,” Cheryl hurried, grabbing his hand and helping him. “There you go. Charlie, dish in the sink and brush your teeth. Then we’ll talk.”
“Yes ma’am,” he said, hurrying his plate to the sink. On his way out, he paused at Ben’s side and kissed his temple.
For some reason, his mind saw it as his last kiss, causing his breaths to shudder in and out while his heart clenched in his chest painfully. He closed his eyes, willing the tears back but it was too late, and Cheryl was there with her “shhhhh”, wiping them as they fell. “He has a way with our heart strings, doesn’t he?” she whispered.
He could only nod and blink as he took a deep breath and focused his strength, his courage. “My body seems to have a mind of its own,” he whispered. “Can’t control a whole lot and the parts I want to control I especially can’t.” He realized he was still holding his glass of milk and every time he tried to retract his hand, the glass came with it. He placed it back on the table and tried agai
n.
“Do you want more?” she asked, seeing his struggle.
“No, I want to…let the fucking glass go.”
She helped remove his stiff fingers from around it and then guided his suddenly shaking limb to his lap and pressed it there, stroking his arm as if she could calm the tremor in it.
Apparently, she could.
“There,” she announced like he wasn’t falling apart more by the minute.
“Thank you,” he said, remembering his plan to behave normal in the face of these very symptoms he knew were eventually coming. Don’t panic or freak out. Set an example. If he was calm, they’d be calm. So much for that.
“All done,” Charlie announced entering the kitchen and sitting in his chair.
“Perfect timing,” Cheryl sang, taking the dishes to the sink. Ben usually did that. And cleaned, because it seemed only right to tidy up for the cook. “Park!” she snapped to Ben when he made the barest movement to help. “My turn,” she added with a finger pointing in his face followed by a kiss to his forehead.
God, he loved her.
“So, what did the doctor say?”
“Go on, I can hear fine,” Cheryl said at the sink. “I already know it all.”
“The dishes can wait,” Ben said, hoping she made an exception with her OCD once.
“Okay, fine,” she huffed, coming to the table with her dishrag and wiping it quickly as though scratching at least that one itch.
“You’re my hero,” he joked as she sat next to him then tossed the dish rag to the sink.
“You have the floor, Mr. Rabinowski.”
Ben took a deep breath. “Well…I’ll start with…how would you like to visit China?” Ben laughed at his son’s huge eyes and mouth.
“Seriously?” he squeaked. “You realize how much I want to go there?”
“Yes, I think we know,” Ben laughed with Cheryl.
“You’ll be able to teach the Chinese all about themselves,” she joked. But Ben wouldn’t be surprised if he could. Charlie was obsessed with everything Chinese ever since they’d watched Mulan. He’d thought it would fade after two days, but boy were they wrong. The more he learned the more he dug.
“When?” he demanded.
Cheryl glanced at Ben with her raised brows and secret smile.
“You tell him,” Ben said, wanting her to have some of the fun.
“Hmmm,” Cheryl said, looking at the time. “I need to remember to call the school and let them know Charlie will no longer be attending…” she brought her smile to Charlie “…. starting today.”
“What!?” Charlie shrieked then jumped up from his chair, knocking it over as he whooped and screamed till Cheryl and Ben both laughed. Ben closed his hand around Cheryl’s when she reached for him across the table.
“Would you like to see the place we’re staying at?” Ben asked, getting Charlie’s immediate wide eyes.
“I’ll get the laptop.” Cheryl hopped up and hurried out, and Charlie suddenly went still, the joy crumbling right off his face.
“What’s wrong?” Ben worried.
“I shouldn’t…be so happy about it. Sorry.”
“Of course, you should be. I am. I’m getting a new head, a chance at life.”
“But…”
“But nothing,” Ben said, erasing the negative thought. “We go into this expecting good things. That’s how you exercise faith. And you always, always know that no matter what happens, God wins. And if we belong to God, we win too. Right?”
He nodded a little, his head lowered. “I know dad.” He raised a brave smile to Ben. “I know that no matter what, God is good. I won’t forget it. I promise.”
Ben was having another painful heart clenching again as he nodded back at his son smiling. “I’m proud of you, Charlie. You’re a very good young man. And you make me very happy that you’re my son.”
Charlie stared a moment at him then hurried out of his chair and carefully hugged Ben around his shoulders. “I’d hug you tight, but I don’t want to hurt anything.”
“Thank you,” Ben said, unsure what else to say as he rubbed his son’s back. “I need a break after your mom. She can’t keep her hands off me.”
“Ewwww,” Charlie said, pulling back.
“Ewwww what,” Cheryl said, appearing with the laptop and a fresh outfit that had Ben immediately thinking all the wrong things. The red sundress made her appear child-like which his body considered sexy and irresistible. She had a red, shiny hairband holding her dark hair away from her face. Her delicious brown eyes aimed at Ben as she set the laptop on the table now. And red lips. She’d stopped to dress up, he realized, wanting to just stare at her. “What are you two going on about behind my back?”
“I’m not telling because it’s gross,” Charlie assured.
“I just said you can’t keep your hands off of me.”
She sat in the chair, her red lips tight together as she held back her smile. But not the one in her eyes, she unleashed that avalanche all over him. Ben never loved anything more.
As Cheryl showed Charlie the pictures of the facilities they’d be staying at, Ben allowed himself to enjoy the sound of their excitement. He was glad that they were leaving soon because Ben didn’t know how much longer he had. Sleeping was becoming impossible because there was no way he could lay that didn’t produce pain. He kept returning to his mantra. God’s good timing. It was all in God’s good timing. No place for worry, no reason for it except out of pure habit. Habit as a father who was required to tend to details that ensured things got done. Letting go in this was hard, mostly because it forced him to think and act against that grain. Almost like…breathing in water.
“So, what will they do for the operation?” Carlie asked.
Ben was relieved that Cheryl answered. His vision was acting up, black edges ebbing in and out of his line of sight. It was hard not to panic when stuff like that happened. Was he about to lose his sight? For some reason, trying to prepare for that was like trying to prepare yourself to drown in darkness. Seeing for him was half of living. Not seeing was being half dead and try as he might—and he did try—bracing for that kind of thing seemed to be out of his ability to perform.
He just hoped if and when it happened, he didn’t have a total freak out.
“So…what about the…head?”
Ben’s attention turned to Charlie at that. Cheryl looked at him, smiling, but her eyes were asking what to do.
“Are you ready to meet it?”
“Sure!” Charlie said.
Cheryl gave Ben a set of raised brows indicating she was surprised with his eagerness.
“Show him,” Ben said, keeping his tone calm. He wanted this to be easy for Charlie. Ben was grateful his son wasn’t a day younger than he was. The tension in Ben’s stomach loosened with Charlie’s initial expression of, “Wow! He looks cool! Like a villain!”
Ben gave a single laugh, nodding barely. “Jinx.”
He looked at Ben with curious wide eyes. “You thought the same thing? He kind of reminds me of that man on that movie. The one with the skull on his shirt that kills all the bad guys!”
“The Punisher,” Ben laughed. “You might be surprised to know his name is Frank.”
“No way! He’s not as handsome as dad,” he said with a duh in his tone while looking at Cheryl as if he knew she’d be offended.
“There’s no head in the world cuter than your daddy’s.” She winked at him, and Ben nearly choked on the arousal that shot through him.
The Wongs
“Do you think we’re almost there yet?” Charlie murmured.
Cheryl noticed Ben seeming to hold his head still, so whispered back, “I believe we must be. From the pictures I remember, it’s in an area like this. At least what I can see. I wish it were daylight! I have a feeling the scenery is out of this world.” She turned to Ben. “How are you holding up?” she asked. “Pain? You look like you’re in pain.”
“I am,” he muttered.
“Oh
Ben,” she whispered. “Why didn’t you tell me, I could’ve gotten you something while we were stopped!”
“I didn’t want to lose consciousness. They’re strong enough to put a horse to bed. I’ll take one when we get there.”
“Okay.” She carefully pulled his hand to her mouth and kissed. How long was this ride, anyway? Felt like they’d driven for over an hour. She knew the place was remote, but my God. And poor Ben. The pain had to be bad for him to be that quiet. She couldn’t wait for him to do this operation, as much as she was terrified for him to.
So many questions. How exactly would this operation go? With eight surgeons, surely one of them had a ray of hope to offer her. It had taken Cheryl three days to get everything they needed to make the trip via private plane. She was shocked how easy it had all been. These people had serious connections and she was glad to not have to mess with any of it. And Dr. Vindel was supposed to arrive a day after them. She’d packed minimally, as was the suggestion. The Wong’s would see to all their needs. Food and whatever other necessities. One suitcase each is all they brought.
“Oh God, this is it,” Cheryl whispered, sucking in a huge breath at the enormous silver building that seemed to have no end. Up and down it went, following the mountainous landscape that it seemed built into.
“What time is it?” Ben wondered.
Cheryl pulled her phone out of her purse. “7:45. Still early. We’ll get you somewhere comfortable and give you something for pain.”
Cheryl watched as they drove around the facility, lower and lower. She realized the place was like three stories on the back side once you got to the bottom of the hill behind it. Wow. A wall opened before them and the car drove in, but they didn’t get out. Instead the floor they parked on rose up.
“Wow, it’s a parking elevator,” Charlie said quietly. “It’s like a space station,” he added, looking around out the window. The walls were framed with sky blue neon lights in geometric patterns. The moment the car stopped, the wall on the left opened to reveal a huge room with white, minimalistic furnishings and décor.
