He didn’t look ill.
“I don’t think so,” he sounded irked.
Cryptic.
With a soft sigh, I sat next to him on the bed. Our thighs touched. “Talk to me, sweetie.”
I knew I’d have to be patient so I waited and after a long while, I was rewarded.
“I didn’t like it.”
He wasn’t making sense. “Didn’t like what?”
“You being with Noah.”
The words seemed to settle all around me. I felt them in my bones.
“Why?”
Connor’s hand glided up my thigh until his fingertips skimmed the back of my hand. He didn’t speak but when he shrugged, my brow dipped.
Was he…?
Was Connor jealous?
No.
No way.
This was Connor Clash. He didn’t do jealousy. He told me so himself.
His hand on mine, he tugged until I stood in front of him and he cupped my cheeks, searching my face. It was too familiar, achingly familiar. My body was on fire but I lifted my hands to cover his. “What’s happening with you? Talk to me.”
But he shook his head. “I don’t wanna talk.” He ran his thumb over my lips and pulled me down until we were nose-to-nose then he murmured, “Kiss me, baby.”
As if I needed to be asked twice. God, I was a moron.
I licked my lips, looked into his eyes and kissed him, gently at first. He pressed into me, deepening the kiss, and I made a needy sound.
That was all it took. Things turned intense.
My hands floated down to the hem of his black tee and I tugged. Connor got the message and dragged it up and over his head before pulling me to stand in between his legs. His arms around me, he pressed his lips to my dress-covered stomach and I internally swooned.
His hooded eyes on me, he removed his arms from my back and placed them on the outsides of my knees. They drifted upward, under my dress, up my thighs until they rested at my hips. “Off.”
In one swift movement, my dress was on the floor beside me. Connor examined my underwear and gripped my hips tightly. “You wear this for him?” His eyes never leaving mine, he pressed another gentle kiss to my stomach and my lids fluttered.
It was hard to breathe.
I looked down at the pink lace bra and panty set. My cheeks heated as I shook my head.
“You sure?”
My hands came up to clutch his shoulders. My voice was husky. “I’m sure.”
Connor took a deep breath in, closing his eyes. His exhale was unsteady. He opened his eyes again and moved to stand, his body glancing my own as he did. With my hands still on his shoulders, he watched me closely as he unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his black jeans. He took his time undressing, kicking off his black Vans to reveal his bare feet.
Dammit. I loved his feet. They were manly feet.
Yeah, I was a freak like that.
My body was burning. I helped him disrobe, putting my hands to the waist of his jeans and pushing them downward. He stepped out of them and we were even, both in our underwear and nothing more.
We stood there peering into each other’s faces before Connor put his hands to my shoulders and let his fingertips caress the warm skin there, trailing down my arms until his fingers clasped mine. When he lowered his face, I met him halfway, stepping on my tiptoes to reach his lips.
This kiss was gentle. It was delicate in a manner I believed Connor incapable. And that made it all the more thrilling.
Warm lips trailed the column of my neck and I panted daintily. He placed soft kisses at my collarbone before he lifted his face and his full lips brushed mine.
My heart was thumping. If Connor didn’t have a hold on me, I was afraid I’d float up into the ceiling. That was how light he made me feel.
As he kissed me, I felt his hands glide along my back and then my bra was falling down my arms. Without removing my mouth from his, I let it fall to the ground between us. Those deft hands came up, covered my tender breasts and squeezed lightly, running his thumbs gently across the sensitive peaks.
My brow creased and I moaned into his mouth.
Connor pulled away and I almost whimpered at the loss. He sat on the edge of the bed, placed his hands on my waist and pulled me forward. I went willingly. He brushed his lips against one needy nipple. Opening his mouth, he closed his lips around it and sucked teasingly. I grasped his shoulders as my knees weakened. Tossing my head back, I groaned, digging my fingers into the flesh by his neck.
My core throbbed in time with every pull of his mouth.
He continued his delicious assault and I died a small death with every moment that passed. My panties were soaked and when Connor touched me there, he removed his mouth from my breast just long enough to curse. “Fuck, baby. You’re dripping for me.”
He lapped at my nipple and my mouth parted slightly as I panted. “Oh, God. Connor. Please.”
With his mouth on me, he spoke against the skin. “Please, what, baby?”
“I don’t know.” It came out frustrated.
“What do you need?”
I pressed my shin to the center of his outspread legs, rubbing my leg against his hot, hard length. “You.” His mouth parted, a low growl escaping, and I bit my lip. “I need you.”
Connor’s arms circled me and his hands grasped my bottom, caressing the plump globes. He hooked his fingers onto the elastic of my panties and yanked. They fell to my ankles.
I was completely naked. Even my pride had left me.
“C’mere.” Connor’s eyes peered lower to the vee of my thighs. When he bent down and pressed a gentle kiss to the area just above my sex, my stomach tensed in anticipation.
I squeaked when I was lifted and placed onto the center of the covers. Connor stood at the base of the bed and lowered the gray boxer briefs, setting his thick erection free. “I need you too.”
The whispered words were so softly spoken I wasn’t sure if I’d imagined them.
Putting a knee to the edge of the bed, he climbed over me, running his hands up my shins. He got to my knees and stilled, gently parting my legs until I was open to him.
Connor looked down at my sex and his throat dipped when he swallowed. “I’m going to kiss you now, baby.”
Propping myself up on my elbows, I awaited his lips but watched in confusion when they descended. My heart began to race. His eyes smiled as his lips touched my heat.
My eyes widened and my lips rounded, and when he opened his mouth to taste me, I fell back onto the bed with a low moan.
“Jesus, I love how you taste.”
Connor loved me with his mouth. When he flattened his tongue and adoringly swiped at my folds, my fingers twisted into the sheets and I gently thrust into his mouth. His groan told me he approved and I did it again. His hands roamed my body, stroking all the right places. Just when I thought I’d lose my mind, Connor wrapped his lips around my swollen bud and pulled gently.
Moaning loudly, my back bowed and my hips bucked violently.
“It’s okay, baby. I got you.”
His mouth pressed deeper into me. My eyes shot open and I stopped breathing. Bubbles of bright light flashed before my eyes. My body tightened and tiny pinpricks lined my spine. My breathing heavy, I panted out, “Connor, yes.”
Connor gently sucked at the bundle of nerves and then I was floating.
With a low groan, I pressed myself into his mouth. Ecstasy filled me as my core pulsed uncontrollably. His lips continued their carnal attack and it was too much. I pulled Connor’s hair to hold him back but on a growl, he pressed deeper into me. My trembling thighs locked around his head and I gasped. “Oh, God.”
Before I could think, Connor was towering over me, his arousal flush against me. He gripped it tight before swiping it up and down my wet slit. “Do you need me, baby?”
I was overwhelmed. My voice shook. “I do.” I blinked away the bewildering unshed tears and swal
lowed hard. “I do.”
He kept his eyes on me as he leisurely pushed into my sex. The head of his hard length sunk inside me and. as he groaned, I moaned in response.
This was different. It was expressive. It meant something.
This wasn’t sex.
It was making love.
Yes, I wasn’t as experienced as others but I knew the difference. I felt the difference.
Connor propped himself up on his arms, looming over me. He panted, looking down at the place we were joined and he closed his eyes, appearing somewhat pained. Slowly, he pushed farther into me.
It was a snug fit. I felt every ridge of him.
A small whimper escaped me and Connor opened his eyes. He pulled out a little then pushed back into me. My face crumpled as a small sound of urgency escaped me. Unhurried, he found a rhythm and I couldn’t help myself. Snaking my arms around his neck, I drew him down to me, to my lips, and kissed him fervently. Running my fingers through his hair, I panted into his mouth and Connor’s tempo increased on a grunt.
He pulled back from my mouth a moment to look at me, really look at me.
“Don’t leave me.”
“I won’t,” I promised, breathless. “I swear I won’t.”
His thrusting increased, his tempo became forceful and he bit his lip, looking into my eyes. That tingly feeling returned and it was building to dangerous levels. My core tightened and Connor’s mouth parted. His brow furrowed as he plunged into me. “Shit, baby. I’m gonna…” His eyes fluttered and his thrusting turned erratic. “I’m gonna….”
I was already there. My body constricted and I let out a long moan. “Oh, God.”
The vein in Connor’s neck bulged and he spoke through gritted teeth. “Fuck, baby.”
And then I was freefalling.
My sex throbbed and, tipping my head back, I cried out, “Yes.” The second orgasm was far more intense than the first and I gasped for air as it took me.
Connor gripped the back of my neck and pulled until our foreheads touched. His body stiff, he held my gaze, and growled, “I’m coming.” The intensity of his stare was piercing. His jaw tight, he thrust into me and held. Nose-to-nose, he grunted and I felt the steady throb as he released into me.
Bodies entangled, we collapsed onto the bed facing each other. Connor remained inside me.
We spent the next while softly touching, reveling in our lovemaking. I pressed a soft kiss to the dagger at the apple of his cheek. He closed his eyes and I held my lips there before sighing happily.
Connor looked down at our entwined fingers and when he spoke, he did it faintly. “Will you go somewhere with me?”
If you’d let me, I’d follow you everywhere.
My eyes searched his face and when his eyes met mine, I nodded gently. “Yes.”
He lips lifted at the corners and when he kissed me, I smiled into it.
Oh, God.
I was so in love, and that meant trouble.
Nothing had ever felt better than baring my soul to Connor Clash.
Chapter Twenty-One
Virgin Tears.
Emmy
For four days, Connor hadn’t come to my room. It wasn’t a big deal. At least, I hoped it wasn’t. I just naturally assumed things had changed between us since the last time we’d slept together. So much had happened that night. Feelings were exchanged, the truth came out and, for once, I felt like we were on the same page.
There were only two days of the tour left. We had three shows in California. First, in San Diego, tonight, we were in San Francisco, and next would be the end zone, home, Pasadena.
I tried not to read too much into Connor’s absence but every time I thought about my elusive rockstar, my heart craved him, wanted to be near him. And then I thought about Vegas and a secret smile would take me.
No. There was nothing to be worried about.
When he told me he was tired, I believed him, and this morning, after I got the suite sorted for the guys, I headed downstairs to eat breakfast with The Vixens. When I got to the restaurant, however, they all turned to me looking absolutely shattered.
I slowed my steps and my smile fell. “What’s wrong?”
They all looked around at each other. Cherry spoke first, “Have you seen Connor this morning?” I shook my head and she spoke softly. “He dropped a song last night.”
My brow lowered. “He did?”
That’s weird. He didn’t mention it.
Ettie nodded cautiously. “A solo track.”
“Emmy.” Beth took a small step toward me. “I think you need to hear it.”
Pearl looked genuinely concerned. “You need to hear it. Like, now.”
My phone was already in my hands. I don’t know why my hands shook but they did. Opening an Internet search, I typed in Connor Clash and hit search. Once I saw the name of the song, my heart clenched.
Connor Clash releases NSFW song. Click the link to listen to “Virgin Tears.”
My stomach dropped out.
“Virgin Tears.”
Oh no.
I clicked on audio file and it started to play. The moment he started to rap, I listened to the lyrics and prayed to God that this wasn’t what I thought it might be.
Alas, it was.
Virgin tears meet rock star fears,
Moan for me, Emmy, ain’t nobody here.
Snatch so tight it make Jesus weep,
Taste of that pussy keeps Clash from sleep.
I’m ghetto manic, a rock mechanic,
My baby hectic,
Legs locked around my neck, bitch.
Wonder why it’s you I devour?
Can’t help it when your sweet looks sour.
Ya pussy gave me power, a hundred miles an hour,
Gave me ya taint, mine to deflower.
A massacre, spectacular,
Held me like a snap fastener,
Push in, slide out,
Cock feeling like Excalibur.
Think you’re special? You ain’t my wife.
Me and you for life? Headed for strife.
Rather fucking take my cock to a knife.
I need you, Connor,
Ain’t that what you said?
Fuck you, girl,
You make me wish I was dead.
‘Cause hoes, they come, they go,
And, baby, you’re just another Jane Doe,
Didn’t nobody tell you, yo?
Better the devil you know.
The song ended and I was numb to the core. After flatlining for three solid minutes, my heart thumped so hard in my chest that I thought it might just be trying to self-destruct.
And I wouldn’t blame it.
Connor had betrayed me.
“Oh my God,” I breathed out and blinked through the blur of tears. I stood and spoke louder, “Oh no.”
He said I was his best friend and he did this.
Cherry stepped closer, holding onto me. “Emmy, did you sleep with Connor?”
It took a while for the question to register and when it did, I nodded, unable to feel anything but the aching of the gaping hole in my chest.
Why?
Oh God. Why?
The Vixens exchanged looks of understanding and when Beth spoke, she did it quietly. “Okay, what we’ll do is go up to the suite and talk with the guys. They’ll know what to do.”
No.
Nothing had ever sounded more distressing. “No,” I spoke whisper-soft. “I just need to go.” My eyes burned and I felt wetness at my cheeks. “I’m just going to leave. I’ll quit,” my voice quaked. More tears fell. “But why would he…?” I was so confused. “He said….” My mind was trying to make sense of things. “But I…” It was hard to breathe. “But I love him,” I whispered to nobody in particular.
And then all the pain I felt returned in one agonizing hit. Throat tight, my head ached and my heart completely broken.
Swiping at my
face, I turned and rushed out of the restaurant, crying as the magnitude of what this man had done to me came crashing down. I sobbed and sobbed, and when I made it to the elevator, I hit the button a thousand times, locking myself into it by myself.
The moment the doors closed, I stepped back until my back hit the wall and I slid down, crouching and holding my head in my hands.
How could he have done this to me?
He was everything to me.
After quietly crying a while, a better question came to mind.
How could I let this happen?
No answer appeared but one bold statement did circle my mind.
Fuck you, Connor Clash.
***
I Want To Break Free.
Connor
The song had dropped. It was out. All the websites were playing it on repeat because not only was it my debut solo single but I’d unleashed hell by showing people I could rap too.
Virgin Tears was all anyone was talking about.
Awesome. It was exactly what I wanted. Now everyone knew I fucked Emmy.
That’s all it was meant to be anyway, so what did I care?
My stomach twisted.
Sure, she’d be hurt a while but she’d get over it. I mean, it’s not like we were dating or anything.
My gut dipped hard.
It didn’t mean shit to me.
Liar.
Then suddenly it was hard to breathe. The elevator door opened and when I walked into the suite, all hell broke loose.
“You fucked her?” Noe sat on the sofa, his head in his hands. He uttered a deathly quiet, “Tell me you didn’t fuck Emmy, Clash.”
Lee stood by the fridge, his arms folded across his chest. “What did you do, man?”
Without a word spoken, I closed the door behind me and sighed, “Don’t make this more than it is.”
That was when Hell came out of his bedroom, flossing his teeth. “Make more of what?” He spoke around the waxy piece of string. “Like, I don’t know, you screwing one of our best friends like some fucking ho you met backstage and making a song about it? Or are you talking about you dropping a goddamn track without talking to us first?” He balled up the floss in his hands then ran his tongue over his teeth. “Which one?”
Clash Page 21
