“What did you do?” My voice was quiet.
“I finally accepted that death would always be part of my life.” He sighed. “So, do me a favor and learn from my mistake so you can be happy much sooner.”
“What do I do?”
“You have to embrace the part of you that is connected to death.” He got to his feet and started to walk around me. “All of us have it to some extent but necros can use it.”
I cursed under my breath.
“This is never going to go away.” Louis stopped in front of me. I looked up and met his eyes. “You need to accept it so you can control it. You will never not have death in your life. You can fight it, and raise the dead more and more in your sleep. Or you can finally accept what you are.”
My throat grew dry as I looked down at the dirt. Accept it… It sounded so easy. Just accept that death will be in your life. Every day. All the time. A wave of weariness washed over me. I was so tired… tired of fighting to appear normal. Tired of not talking about it with my friends or Rory. Tired of the secret… I’d kept almost everyone in the dark about the dead. The guys had broken in and made themselves at home somehow. They brought in some light. It was dusty, stuffy attic light but light all the same. I trusted them more than anyone in my life. But not enough to open the doors and show them the darkness. I had avoided looking too deeply at it myself. The thought of showing it to them scared the hell out of me and made me want to run. But maybe… maybe it was time to at least accept that this darkness was there. Stop denying it and just face that it’s there and never going to go away.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Okay, death is a part of me. That darkness inside me that’s fascinated by zombies… Yeah, that scares the shit out of me but it’s there. And denying it isn’t going to make it not true. Death will always be in my life. For once, instead of hating it, I just… it was an odd feeling. It was as if your bully from grade school came to your home. You hated them, you despised them for years. But now… its years later and you understood now what you couldn’t then. There was no point to hating him. It was like hating gravity. They just existed. They just were. So, instead of turning that person away… you give them a chair, a beer and deal them in for the next hand. I didn’t have to hate necromancy.
I met Louis’ eyes and nodded. “Okay.”
Louis’ smile was understanding. “Let’s call it a day.”
Thank God! We’d been at it for hours. I got to my feet as Hades hurried to my side. I scratched his ears as I looked around the grove and the fading light. “You know how to get back, right?”
“Um…” He scratched his head as he turned to me. “I thought you did.”
“For fucks sake,” I groaned.
He started to chuckle. “I’m just messing with you, Lexie.”
Irritated, I flipped him off.
He was still laughing as we started back toward camp.
We were halfway back when I finally thought to ask, “So, did you guys fly in?”
He looked at me with a somber face. “No, Ranulf drove. I just hitched a ride with them. They had plans to come in to Spring Mountain when Evelyn called. They’re planning on helping get the supernatural species settled and out of Miles’ house as soon as possible. But we came here first.”
“Oh, fun.” I cringed. “Who’s in town?”
“You have a few of Dupont’s vampires and their blood donors.” Louis walked through a log that had me climbing over it. “A couple of werewolves from Hollis who are finding housing for those coming to back you up. And there’re a few other shapeshifters.”
“I bet they’re super fun.” The sarcasm was thick in my voice. “Miles’ house is going to be packed.”
“Good luck with them.” He smirked. “Miles tells me that you guys are considering polyandry?”
I stopped. “Well, it’s an option, I guess. But I don’t think the guys will agree.”
He turned to me with knowing eyes. “And you can’t choose.”
I sat down on a log and sighed. “No. Is this a necro thing? Fall in love with several people at once?”
He chuckled. “No, no. Well. I don’t think it is.” His eyes unfocused. “My parents were monogamous, grandparents too. But there were rumors that they each broke several hearts by marrying my mother and grandmother.” His eyes focused on me again. “Honestly? I think it’s because of what we see every day.”
“Dead people?” That could be it…
He shook his head. “We see people after they’ve died. We know that life ends. It’s in our face every day. So, I think that’s why we have such big hearts.” He shrugged. “I don’t think we can say no to love. We don’t want to waste love. Because we know life is precious. It ends.”
My chest ached. “I can’t choose. I tried once. I had a panic attack and cried all night.”
“I remember the feeling.” He gave me a half grin. “Communication. You have to talk to them about how you feel.”
“Most of them don’t know that I… I’m in love with them.” I hadn’t told anyone but Asher and Miles.
“You should tell them that.” He put his hands in the pockets of his pants. “It might help them make a decision.”
“Influence them you mean.” I shook my head. “Don’t you think they should decide this on their own?”
His eyes narrowed on mine. “Do you want them to make a decision this big without all the information?”
Well, when he said it like that… “Isn’t it… selfish? Or wrong?”
He sat in the grass across from me, long bits sticking out of him. “I felt selfish for a long time. Uma, Savannah and Rose had a hard time adjusting. They had never met before this. They had to create that friendship between each other. It took around a year before they were more secure in our relationships. Uma almost killed Vannah several times for using her rare spell herbs in dinner.”
I snorted.
“But with communication and my time divided as equally as possible, this strange set up became our strength.” He leaned forward. “If I couldn’t pick the kids up from school, Uma, Rose, or Vannah would be able to. We learned to work together as a team.”
“You didn’t answer the question.”
He sighed. “It looks selfish from the outside. But on the inside… A normal marriage takes a lot of work, communication and time. And I had three at once.”
Shit. That would be tons of work. “So, you’re saying it will be the hardest on me?”
He eyes met mine. “Every couple is different. Every partner has their own needs that need to be met for a successful happy relationship. That’s a fact. Then there are your own needs. Taking care of yourself. Poly relationships are hard and a lot of work. As the center of it, you’ll put more work in than the others. So, no, I don’t think it’s selfish. You’re giving more of yourself than you know.” His eyes shined. “I gave everything I was to my wives. All the time. To make it work, it took every minute of every day and everything I had.”
“Do you regret it?”
“Not a second of it.”
“Would you do it again?”
He smiled. “To be as happy as we were? Yes. I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.”
“They already had relationships with each other. And I’m scared those are going to fall apart.” It was a relief to finally talk to someone about it who wasn’t a part of it. Who understood what we were looking at if we went this way.
“They’re not being destroyed,” Louis reassured me. “They’re being remodeled. It’s a hard, painful process but in the end, it’s worth it.”
I leaned forward bracing my elbows on my legs. “When I met my true self, she told me to throw normal out the window.”
He smiled and chuckled. “Well, this certainly will be doing that.”
I smiled a little. It would indeed.
“Come on, I’ll take you back to camp then disappear until tomorrow afternoon.” He got to his feet. “You guys need to work out your problems.”
/> Silently, I got to my feet and followed him back to camp.
When we stepped into camp, it was empty. I looked out at the lake and noticed the jet skis were gone.
“Looks like they went out on the lake.” I turned back only to find that Louis was gone. I looked down at Hades. “Want a before dinner snack?”
Chapter 15
“I think it’s crazy.” Jake’s voice chimed in my ear.
I was afraid of that. “I figured-”
“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try it.” Jake’s voice was matter of fact. “It’s crazy but considering how you feel about these guys, it’s worth a shot.”
I finished shading Jack’s face in my sketchbook. “Riley had a shit fit.”
He huffed. “Riley is a closed-minded bitch.”
My eyebrows shot up as I stopped shading. “Don’t hold back, tell me how you really feel.”
He chuckled. “I love the girl but she’s got something up her ass about the whole thing.”
“She said she left Zeke because he cared about me.” I reached out and scratched Hades’ head where it sat on my knee.
“He’s in love with you. That’s what she said.” Something closed on his side of the phone. “And she broke up with him so he could go to you. But that’s not what happened and she needs to get over it.”
I went back to sketching. “She thinks it’s crazy and she won’t be alone.”
There was a long silence.
“Okay, yeah. There are going to be repercussions. And the guys will have to deal with them too. But that shouldn’t stop you from trying to make it work.” Jake’s logic was exactly what I needed to hear right now. “You don’t care what people think. Remember?”
“Yeah, but would the guys think the same thing?” I kept my voice quiet just in case Asher was around. Though I hadn’t seen anyone since I got back with Louis.
“Ask them.”
I paused. “What?”
“Ask. Them.”
“Just ask them if they’re going to think I’m a slut or something?” Ask them? Was he serious?
“Yeah.” Jake’s voice grew softer. “You need to know this if you’re going to try. If what they think about you is going to change, then you should know ahead of time.”
Was it crazy? Just ask them? I could give it a shot. Picturing it, I shook my head. “Maybe I’ll talk to Ethan about it then maybe the others.”
“Hey, I don’t care if you talk to them one on one or all of them at once. But you should be able to ask these kinds of questions if you guys are going to try this.”
He had a point. “I don’t think I like it when you’re right so often.”
He laughed. “I’m just telling you what you already know.”
“Do you think I should call Riley?” Something told me I should but the way we had left things…
“I think after you decide what you want, you should call,” Jake said. “I don’t want her getting in your head and making you do something you’ll regret.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I think you’re right. Again.”
He snorted. “I’ll love you no matter what you decide to do.”
I smiled. “Thanks, Jake. It’s nice to know I’m not insane.”
“No problem.” A door opened. “Derrick is here, I’ve got to go.”
“Have fun.” I hung up my phone and tucked it into my cup holder on my chair. Tapping my pencil against my sketchbook, I watched the trees sway in the slight breeze.
Was I going to try this? Could I do this? It was this or be with none of them. But I wanted the guys to stay friends no matter what.
I lifted my glasses to sit on top of my head and rubbed the bridge of my nose with one hand. What did I know? I was in love with the guys. There was no question about it. Asher loved me. Miles too. Isaac had said it once… Ethan and Zeke might too. I wanted their relationships to come first. But I wanted them too. I braced my elbow on the arm of my chair and rubbed my temple. If we tried this… it was going to be hard. People would think the worst of me. Hell, not just me, of the guys too. If I dated all of them, it was going to be a lot of work to keep everyone happy. I sighed. Was I willing to do that work?
Throw normal out the window. That’s what she had said. Happiness isn’t just going to drop on your doorstep. You have to work for it. From what Louis said, this would certainly be working for it. But there was something else. Follow your heart.
What did my heart say? Love all of them. That was easy. I wanted them. All of them. My head immediately told me it was wrong. But why? Why was it wrong if everyone agreed? The answer was simple. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. People aren’t supposed to date more than one person. They aren’t supposed to be in love with more than one person at a time. Supposed to, supposed to, supposed to.
I stopped rubbing my temple. Was the only reason I thought it was wrong was because I was taught that it was? If I followed my heart… I’d be with all of them without hesitation. But would it work for us? Would it fit us? I pushed away everything I was taught and thought about what I knew about the guys and their relationships. Over the last year, they had worked together to keep me alive. They were there for each other… When Isaac was possessed, there wasn’t even a question about if we should go to Boulder to find the Templars. And when Isaac tried to make things right with each of them, they were all there telling him to stop being an idiot. At least that’s what he said. Maybe I needed to trust in their relationships more… Something in my chest told me I wasn’t wrong.
I was still deep in thought when water hit my head. Jumping, I looked up to find a smiling Isaac.
“You look so serious, Red.” Isaac started toweling off his hair.
“Yeah, serious thoughts require a serious face.” I smiled. “I thought you were out with the guys on the skis?”
He shook his head as his smile faded. “Actually, I was talking to Danielle.”
Jealousy reared its head. “Oh, yeah?”
He sat down in his chair. “Yeah, she was sitting on the shore alone when we were heading to the skis. She had that black cloud over her again.”
In the middle of everything, I had almost forgotten about the black cloud. “How’d it go?”
“It definitely responds to her moods.” Isaac draped the towel over his shoulder. “When she laughed it disappeared completely.”
“So, what do you think it is?”
His eyes unfocused. “I think she’s suicidal. Or is at least getting close.”
“Are you still feeling those feelings when you look at her?”
He nodded. “Yeah, but I’ve noticed it changes with how dark the shadow gets. I’ll talk to her again before we leave and see what she says.”
Jealousy curled inside me. I chewed on the corner of my lower lip.
Isaac noticed. “What?”
“I’m a little jealous that you hung out with her.” My face burned. “Is this how it feels all the time for you guys?”
He chuckled as his cheeks tinted pink. “Uh, yeah.”
“It sucks.” I made a face. “I don’t like it.”
His face grew somber. “Yeah, Red. That’s how it feels right now.”
“I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say.
“It is what it is.” His smile came back. “But you don’t have to worry about me, Red. You’re the one I want.”
That warm feeling of being loved washed over me. “Let’s just hope we don’t fuck it up.”
He nodded. “That’d be good.”
* * *
After dinner, everyone was sitting around the fire talking about the climb in the morning.
At least that’s what we were doing before Miles put down his roasting stick. “Family meeting.”
The others set their sticks down. I took the opportunity to snag the marshmallow bag for myself.
The twins chuckled while I popped another marshmallow on my stick.
“Lexie.” Zeke’s voice was chiding but the look
on his face told me that he wasn’t even going to try to take my marshmallows.
“Sugar good.” I smiled.
“Will you stop burning them at least, the smell is killing me.” Asher grimaced and rubbed his stomach.
“Okay, I’ll just try to get the perfect roasted marshmallow,” I said in a haughty tone.
The guys laughed.
Miles sat down. “Family meeting? Remember?”
I put my stick down and gave him my full attention.
Miles gave me a gentle smile. “Lexie, what did you and Asher find this afternoon?”
“Well, first we found this overhang.” I pulled my phone. “And found this weird set up.” I pulled up the pictures and passed the phone to him. “Do you have any idea what that is?”
Miles adjusted his glasses before he looked down at my phone. “It’s a chemistry set up…”
“Someone making drugs?” Zeke bit into a graham cracker.
I gestured for him to pass me some. The corner of his mouth lifted a little before he pulled out a few and passed them to the right to Isaac.
“No. This… it could be a still, I guess. This half looks like a distillery set up. The other half I’d have to see for myself.” Miles lifted his head to meet my eyes. “I’m sorry, Lexie. This could be nothing.”
Isaac handed me the crackers while I smiled at Miles. “Scroll to the next set of photos.”
Miles did that as I watched him. I knew the second he saw it.
His fingers began to tap. “You found this? Here?”
“Yep. It’s broken and faded but I think there is enough there.” I leaned forward. “I’ve gone through all the research you’ve gotten me and then some. But I haven’t seen this anywhere.”
“I haven’t either.” Miles had his thinking face on. The one that put a little wrinkle between his eyes. “Where did you find this?”
“Not far from town actually.” I picked up my stick and started roasting my marshmallow. “Now, there’s a hose going from that tank to those markings.”
“I think I better get out there tomorrow.” Miles scrolled through my pictures a couple more times then passed the phone back to me. “Now, family matters.”
When the Dead Have It Easy Page 22
