Kane

by Davis, Jen

  She swallowed. “You keep calling me Mandy. I’m not her anymore. I’m not even sure I remember how to be that girl. The kind of girl who believes in wishes and fairy-tale endings. I can’t go back and unlearn the lessons these years have taught me. I’m not sure I would if I could. I do miss her, though. Your Mandy. I was happier when I was her.”

  Kane scooted closer, his thigh brushing against hers, and framed her face with his rough hands. “You could be happy again.”

  Her eyes closed as she leaned into his touch. It would be so easy to block out the world, to simply be here in this moment…with him. But all the questions and doubts would still be here afterward. If this was going to happen, they had to learn each other all over again, not just the ghosts living in their memories, but the real-deal people they were now.

  She forced her lids open and focused on his soft gaze. She could drown in those eyes.

  What was she going to say?

  Her resolve vanished as he leaned forward and brushed his lips over hers. The beer lingered on his breath, and her tongue quested into his mouth for deeper contact. The crisp flavor tingled over her taste buds, but as he deepened the kiss, she only tasted desire.

  She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. She needed to get closer.

  Kane didn’t make her wait. Sliding his arm around her waist, he tugged her toward him, and she went willingly to his lap, her legs straddling either side of his.

  Now the kiss was a full body experience. The beard still scratched some, but in her hunger, it barely registered. Her hands clutched his broad shoulders as she molded herself against him. Everything about him was bigger than before. His chest, his powerful thighs, even—

  He groaned as she ground against the hardness between her legs. The arms he had around her waist dropped abruptly, and his hands gripped her hips. Now, he urged her on. Setting the rhythm.

  It had been years since she’d been with him this way, but her body had forgotten nothing, and apparently neither had his, because they writhed and arched against each other in a breathless harmony.

  Kane broke the kiss and trailed his lips down the column of her neck, and she tilted back her head to give him better access. His grip on her hips eased as he slid his hand beneath her shirt, climbing her ribcage on a path to her aching breasts.

  With a curse, she tugged the simple V-neck over her head and tossed it on the floor.

  His eyes widened, but he didn’t miss a beat, unfastening the bra and pulling it away from her body. “Offer them to me,” he growled, and she was all too happy to comply. No sooner had she cupped her breasts, he had one nipple in his mouth.

  The sharp pull shot straight to her pussy. She groaned and swiveled her hips harder. Faster. The need for him climbed, the summit just out of reach.

  As his teeth played over her sensitive flesh, his fingers tugged gently on her other nipple. He pinched and pulled, sucked, and licked. A moan climbed from the back of her throat as the whole world centered on his mouth, his hands, and the cock straining against his jeans.

  “Come for me,” he demanded, his breath hot against her wet skin.

  She ground harder against him, the pressure just right on her aching clit, as he pinched both nipples hard enough for a prickle of pain to ratchet up the pleasure. Then she was flying, his name a cry on her lips.

  The orgasm shook her to her foundations. Her movement stopped as the waves rushed through her. But it wasn’t only her body reaching its plateau; it was like every emotion she’d ever had, built into one big peak exploding inside her. She wanted to laugh and cry and scream. But more than anything she wanted—she needed—to get even closer.

  Pressing her chest to his, she buried her face in his neck, fighting the fresh wave of tears threatening to embarrass her again. Crying once tonight had already been one time too many. His arms held her with exactly the right amount of strength, and though his erection was still nestled between her legs, he did nothing to push for more.

  She allowed herself the luxury of peace in his arms until she could pull herself together. Then she pulled back and kissed him gently. “Let me take care of you,” she whispered. It was a testament to the fire between them Kane could make her come without even taking off her pants.

  He ran his hand over her hair, the way he always used to. “You’re so beautiful like this. Your eyes are like fucking emeralds right now.” His thumb brushed over her bottom lip. “Your mouth looks thoroughly kissed.” His soft gaze turned proprietary. “I did that. I want to keep doing it.”

  Her mouth curled into a smile. “Kissing me?”

  “Making you mine.” The way he said it rang with truth. “I don’t know how we’re going to make this work. I don’t know what we’ve got to change or how we’re going to have to bend, but I am not letting you go this time. Do you understand?” A fierce look came over his face. “We’re going to figure this out, Mandy, and you’re going to be mine forever.”

  Her brain issued a hundred denials. What if they were too different now? What if he couldn’t love the woman she’d become? What if he’d turned into his brother…or his father?

  The doubt must have shown because he shook her gently. “Don’t. Don’t talk yourself out of it before we even try.”

  She’d forgotten what it was like to be with a man who knew how to read her. Was she talking herself out of it? “I’m not.”

  “But?” he prompted.

  “But where do we start? We already know this,” she gestured in the small space between them, “isn’t a problem. You can just look at me and get me wet.”

  His eyes darkened, and she shoved against his shoulder.

  “Stop. This is my point. We still want each other, but so many other things have changed. Like how much I hurt you.” She hesitated. “Like the fact you joined the MC.”

  The heat left his eyes. “I know.”

  “So where do we start?”

  He was quiet for a moment. Then a smile broke out across his face, transforming him from handsome to knock-down, drag-out gorgeous. “The same place anyone starts. At the beginning.”

  CHAPTER

  SEVENTEEN

  Kane

  The excitement from the college football fans translated as a dull roar in Kane’s ears. Turner Field was almost unrecognizable in some ways since Georgia State converted it into their stadium, but the vibe from the charged sports fans was universal.

  Mandy stood spellbound as they overlooked the field, which was now Panthers football territory through and through. “I haven’t been here in years,” she breathed.

  She looked so young in her jeans and sweater; she wore no make-up, and her cheeks had turned red from the cold. Her breaths came out in cloudy puffs of smoke.

  He gripped her icy fingers. “You want a hot chocolate?” Without waiting for an answer, he tugged her to the line for concessions.

  She didn’t pull away, but her eyes narrowed. “You never used to like college football.” The woman had a memory like an elephant.

  “It’s not like I hated it,” he hedged. “I never had time to get into it.”

  “A newly acquired taste, is it?” Her voice sounded all innocent, but her smile was sly.

  He tucked her hair behind her ear. “I think I could learn to love it.”

  Now he’d bet the red in her cheeks had nothing to do with the cold. He smiled at her discomfiture as they moved to the front of the line, and he bought their drinks.

  She blew into her cup before taking a tentative sip. “Where are our seats?”

  Checking the tickets, he led her to their spot in the twenty-fifth row. Not exactly close to the field, but not in the nosebleed section either.

  “They’re still blue,” she mused with a small smile as they found their seats.

  They didn’t have much time for talk as the teams took the field. Georgia State faced Tennessee, and the din from the crowd made conversation impossible. The energy spread like electricity through a live wire.

  Mandy had told him mo
re than once she loved football. She’d even come close to coaxing him to a Falcons game right before they broke up. Seeing the pleasure light her eyes made him wish he’d given in sooner.

  Minutes into the game, she was on her feet. The quarterback had thrown a successful long pass, and the wide receiver was on the run at the thirty-yard line. “Go, go, go!” she yelled.

  A Tennessee player tackled him at the twenty-five.

  She swore as she plopped back into her seat, and he smirked until she delivered a sharp elbow to his arm. “Get your head out of your ass, Hale. Participation is not optional.”

  The next time when she jumped to her feet, he followed suit, and by halftime, he’d screamed his voice almost raw. By the end of the game, he felt so charged up, he no longer even noticed the sting.

  She looped her arm through his as they wove through the crowd to get to her car. She’d let him drive to their surprise destination, but now she slid into the driver’s seat. “I’m starving. Want to grab a bite?”

  He nodded. He didn’t want the day to end, but he had less than two hours before his meeting at the clubhouse. Despite his father’s dismissal, he refused to let Sergei’s warning go unheard by the rest of his brothers.

  But now wasn’t the time to think about his problems. He was going to enjoy every second with Mandy he could. The night before had been a fucking revelation. Watching her come apart in his arms had been even better than he remembered. Maybe because he appreciated it more this time around.

  She’d looked like a fucking goddess with all her pale, perfect skin and peach nipples. They’d practically begged for his mouth. And fuck if he wasn’t getting hard again even thinking about it.

  He had no doubt she wanted him every bit as much as he wanted her, but she wasn’t ready to trust him yet. Hell, he couldn’t blame her. She’d seen club life back in the day, and her impressions were spot on. By his brothers’ way of thinking, he could fuck anything that moved, and she’d have no right to complain. Not one of them believed in monogamy, and he hadn’t tried it once in the past thirteen years.

  It didn’t mean he couldn’t go back. He’d cut off his left nut to go back. The only way to prove it, though, was to show her, so he would. He would show her she was his sun, and his world would revolve around her once again.

  “Burgers okay?” Her question interrupted his thoughts.

  He looked around, surprised she’d pulled into the parking lot at Applebee’s while his brain went on sabbatical.

  A small group already stood waiting for a table near the hostess area, so they grabbed the last two seats at the bar.

  “Let me guess.” He held his fingers to his temples. “You want a Cowboy Burger with the barbeque sauce on the side.” It was the only thing she’d ever ordered when they came here together.

  She stuck out her tongue. “Show off.”

  The bartender brought them their sodas, then sent back their order.

  Mandy tore the paper off her straw. “Today was amazing.” She had a guarded smile, but it looked sincere. She rested her right hand next to his on the bar, the side of her pinkie brushing against his. “It was like before, but different.”

  He linked his pinkie with hers. “Sort of like us.”

  She chewed on her lip. “Should we tackle the big stuff first or build up to it?”

  The club. She had to be talking about the club. He lifted his shoulder. “Ask me anything you want.”

  Her mouth opened, then closed again. The only sound came from the other people at the bar. Just when he was convinced she wouldn’t say anything, she spoke. “You always said you hated it.” Her gaze rested on their hands. “I would have bet my life your feelings were never going to change. I—I did this, didn’t I? I pushed you into this life when I walked away.”

  He wanted to deny it. What kind of pussy did it make him if he couldn’t even stick to his own principles because his girlfriend broke up with him? It didn’t change the truth, though. “You didn’t make me patch in, Mandy, but yeah. Obviously, it was my way of dealing with what happened between us. The guys in the club were there for me when I was low, and I guess part of me felt like I was giving you a big fuck you for leaving. But they loved me. They still do. And I love them. They’re my family.”

  She tugged her hand away, and he felt the loss immediately. “Has anything changed? In what they do? How they treat women?”

  If anything, things had gotten worse. Not with the women thing, which had already been pretty fucking bad. The illegal shit, though, was at an all-time high.

  The food came, taking their attention away from the conversation. He bit into his ribs and watched Mandy pick at her fries. “I thought you were starving.”

  She frowned. “You didn’t answer me.”

  Why would he think he could ignore the elephant in the room? “No,” he said softly. She was only talking about one part anyway. “It hasn’t changed.”

  She dragged a fry around in the pool of ketchup. “How can you still be you and be one of them?”

  He hated how unsure she sounded. With a sigh, he wiped his hands on the napkin, then turned to face her fully. “I’ve done shit I’m not proud of. If I’m being honest, I’m still doing shit I’m not proud of. I think maybe I forgot who I was for a little while, or maybe I thought I couldn’t be a good guy without you. Which is weak, and I’m not proud of it.”

  She didn’t look up from her food.

  “I’m trying to figure out how everything fits together for me right now. I can’t just walk away from them because I’ve found you again.”

  No longer even pretending to eat, she folded her hands in her lap. “Of course not,” she murmured.

  “But there are no other women. I swear it on my life.”

  Now she looked up.

  He couldn’t tell if she was angry or upset. “I haven’t so much as looked at another woman since you and I started talking again. I promise I wouldn’t betray you.”

  She nodded, but the sparkle in her eyes had dulled. Calling over the bartender, she asked for a to-go box. As she scooped her food inside, she spoke quietly, “It’s getting late. I’m tired. Do you mind if we head out?”

  “Sure.” He’d lost his appetite too. Dropping two twenties on the table, he followed her back to the car, and she drove the short distance to her condo, where he’d left his bike.

  She parked right next to the Harley. Once they got out, she gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for the game. I had a good time.”

  He slid his hand over her arm. “Don’t give up on us. We can work all of this out.”

  She revealed no joy in her smile, but she said the words he needed to hear. “I won’t.” She stepped back. “I’ll talk to you soon, okay?” Without waiting for an answer, she turned and walked away.

  ***

  Two police cars were driving away from the clubhouse as Kane pulled up. Cue Ball’s big bald head shone like a beacon in the backseat of one cruiser, but he couldn’t tell who was in the back of the other.

  Killing his motor, he covered the distance to the front door in a few long strides. He stumbled back a step once he got a good look inside.

  Someone had trashed the clubhouse. Garbage cans rested on their sides, their contents scattered across the floor. All the shelves hung askew from the rickety entertainment center; the TV was cracked, broken DVDs all around it. The sofa cushions were strewn about the room, their stuffing hemorrhaging from newly acquired slashes across their centers.

  Mama V sat at the kitchen table, her head in one hand, a cigarette in the other. It was the first time he had ever seen anyone smoke in the clubhouse since he was a child. She acknowledged him without looking up. “I guess you were right about the raid.”

  He searched for a piece of furniture to sit beside his mom, but she seemed to have the only chair left unbroken and intact. He leaned against the counter to her right instead. “What happened?”

  She took a drag from her cigarette and tapped the ashes directly on the floor
. “They got here a couple of hours ago. SP, Cue, and the prospect were shooting pool. Your brother started spouting off when they showed their warrant. They dragged him out of here faster than you can say your name.” Another puff. “Then, the cops started tearing shit up.”

  Cue Ball was too smart to cause trouble if he’d already seen Scott in cuffs, which meant… “They found something.”

  She sniffed and gave a reluctant nod. “Your brother had some meth stashed in the chapel.”

  Kane gaped. “I don’t understand. We knew they were coming. We agreed to get everything out of here.”

  “It wasn’t much. They’ll get charged with possession, probably not enough for an intent to distribute, but maybe. He said he was going to deliver it to someone after your meeting tonight.” She stood and walked to the back door, then flicked the cigarette butt into the yard.

  Dammit, Scott. Why couldn’t his brother listen to reason? Now someone had to go bail the guys out of jail, for fuck’s sake. But at least they didn’t get busted with a full-blown meth lab running in the house. The club stayed safe, at least for now. “Where’s Malcolm?”

  Mama V shrugged weakly. “I don’t know. I tried calling him a dozen times, but you know your father.”

  He sure did. Malcolm did what he wanted, when he wanted, and the needs of his old lady were never high on his list. “I’m gonna try the bar really quick.” Traveling the two blocks to the Watering Hole wouldn’t waste too much time, even if his father wasn’t there.

  His mom grabbed a bottle of vodka from the freezer and unscrewed the cap without acknowledging his words. She wasn’t allowed at the Watering Hole. Malcolm found his extra entertainment there.

  He felt like an asshole for even mentioning the place, but the damage was already done. He jumped on his Harley and made a beeline for his destination.

  About a dozen bikes glinted in a line outside the run-down façade, about par for a Sunday evening. He spotted his father’s right away and pulled up beside it. The strains from an old Metallica song carried through the red wooden door at the entrance.