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Where We Belong
A Carolina Rebels Novel
Copyright © 2020 by Lindsay Paige
ISBN-13: 9781732587434
All rights reserved.
Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products, bands, and/or restaurants referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
License Notes
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Title Page
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Coming Soon
Carolina Rebels Roster
My heart charges against my ribcage, needing and begging to escape and run free as I stand alone at center ice. Every single seat in the arena is full with angry fans, standing with their shaking fists in the air and screaming profanities to create the ultimate cacophony of static-like noise. I cover my ears with my gloved hands.
Why are they so pissed at me? What did I do?
My chest lifts a mile high with an inhale before deflating like a balloon, concaving my chest. The action repeats, over and over, faster and faster. Panic builds and builds with the screams of the fans. I want to move, get off the ice, but my skates won’t budge at all. It’s like I’m part of the surface.
I need to get out of here.
The air that seemed to be in my lungs, allowing me to breathe, even if it is hyperventilating, suddenly disappears.
It’s as if the fans steal every last molecule of my oxygen. My teammates now appear on the bench and they breathe my air too, sucking it right from me. Can’t they see I need it? My hands claw at my throat, digging into my skin as if maybe I could break through to allow air in.
BUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZ.
What is that loud noise?
BUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZ.
Where is it coming from?
BUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZ.
I need to BREATHE!
BUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZ.
Gasping, I startle awake to the loud clunk of my phone hitting the floor. What the fuck? The red numbers on my alarm clock show it’s three in the morning. I scoot over to the edge of the bed, lean down, and pick up my phone just as the call goes to voicemail. My heart, still clamoring to escape from my nightmare, triples its efforts upon seeing the missed call from Julie, my twin brother Cal’s ex-girlfriend from high school.
Rubbing some sleep from my eyes, I call her back. She never calls this late. Something must be wrong. The ringing stops, but no one speaks on the other line.
“Julie?” I say. A choked sob sounds on the other side. I don’t know why, but I automatically toss the covers aside and start dressing. As if she’s nearby. As if I can go get her. As if I can rescue her from whatever mess she’s in now. “Jules!” I snap as I slip a T-shirt on over my head, my phone now on my dresser on speaker.
“Can you come get me, Collin?”
“Fuck,” I mutter. We’re in two different states, twelve hours apart. I’d have to figure out how to go all the way to Florida, get her, and come back, all before practice tomorrow. There’s no way to do it without missing practice.
“I’m in Wilmington,” she adds, sounding almost hopeful.
I frown. “What?”
“Wilmington, North Carolina. I’m here. Please, Collin?” She’s still crying, but she’s desperate for my help now. “I can’t…I need you to come get me. And don’t tell anyone. Not even Cal.”
“What’s going on, Jules?”
“We don’t have time for that right now,” she snaps. “You need to pick me up.”
“I’m grabbing my keys and putting on my shoes. Are you hurt? In danger?”
Julie doesn’t answer me, which says enough. I lock my door and glance at the apartment door across the hall where my twin lives. We were going to live together when we started this journey of pro hockey together, but we needed the personal space. So, we live in the same building, same floor, and across the hall from one another. I only look for a moment before heading out.
Julie gives me the address for the airport by the time I’m in my car and I enter it into my vehicle’s navigation system. Once I’m on the road toward I-40, I ask, “When the fuck are you telling me what is going on? What are you doing in Wilmington?”
“It’s nothing, Collin,” she answers with a sniffle. “It’ll be bad enough when you get here,” she adds in a quiet mutter, completely contradicting herself.
That sounds like it’ll be a fucking disaster when I get there. “Okay. Fine. But you know I don’t like walking into shit without knowing what to expect.”
“I know and I’m sorry,” she whispers. “But it’s better this way, I think. Will you talk to me until you get here?”
“Of course.” I catch her up on everything that’s happened since I last spoke to her, which was only a week ago. There’s mostly hockey updates, which aren’t all that great for me, and then the anxiety updates—again, not all that great. I talk about Cal, running with a teammate and his girlfriend’s dog in the mornings when we’re home. I talk about small and stupid shit just to fill the silence. I’ve never talked so much in my life.
“Why didn’t you fly into Raleigh?” I ask.
“I couldn’t.”
Her tone changes to one I can’t quite understand or make out, but it’s clear enough that I don’t need to question her further.
She’s standing outside as I pull up. My blood boils instantly upon seeing her and I suck in a breath at the sight of her beaten and battered face.
“What the fuck, Julie?” I demand to know the moment the door opens.
“Let’s not talk about it right now,” she replies as she climbs into my truck, tossing her luggage into my backseat.
Th
at answer is two thousand percent unacceptable. “Who the fuck did this to you, Jules?” I reach out and let only the tips of my fingers graze her cheek. She flinches. My anger flares higher at that. “What happened?”
“This isn’t a parking space; we have to move.”
“Jules,” I whisper, heartbroken at the sight of my beautiful Julie, slumped over, scared, and refusing eye contact.
Finally, she looks at me. “I want to go to Raleigh with you.” She grabs my hand and squeezes it with all her might. “Take me there, please, Collin.” Tears well in her eyes.
“Okay, but this conversation isn’t over.”
Without letting go of her hand, I use my other to put the truck into drive and off we go. I want to ask questions. Lots of them. I don’t want to assume anything, even though it’s pretty obvious someone hit her. No, that isn’t right. Someone beat the shit out of her. Julie opts not to speak. She stares out the window. I already have an anxiety problem and she’s sending my panic through the fucking roof right now.
I don’t like seeing her like this. I’ve known her for a long, long time. Cal and I met her when we were fourteen. That day isn’t hard to remember at all. Whispers spread about a new girl all morning and that day in the cafeteria, I saw her. She was standing in line next to another girl, grabbing a carton of chocolate milk. I elbowed Cal in the gut to get his attention.
We were both a bit in love with her at that point, just from looking at her. She was a knockout even then. Before a word could be uttered between us, Cal took off to talk to her. We were all friends for a long while before Cal dated her, but he pursued her from the start. They broke up when we left town for college. It was mutual. High school sweethearts or not, neither wanted something long-term nor seemed to think they would last otherwise.
But Julie and I have always kept in touch. If Cal talks to her, he doesn’t mention it, but I don’t think he does. He left her behind just like everyone else. I told him once that I still spoke to her, back when we were in college; he thought it was crazy and didn’t understand why I would keep in touch when he let her go. After that, I never talked about her or let him know when I saw her; Julie likes it that way too.
What will Cal think when he finds out Julie is in town and staying with me? Will he care? Will he be pissed? I know a lot about my twin, but Julie has always been a murky gray area. We fought over her before. Maybe that’s not the right way to say it. Cal could be a jackass to her in high school and, well, I didn’t always take his side. I didn’t like taking sides, but if he asked, I took the side of the person who was in the right, or who was mostly right, and that wasn’t always Cal. That caused a lot of arguments and tension between us because Cal thought I should choose him over her every fucking time no matter what.
“What are you doing?”
I glance over at Julie and realize I’m reaching for my phone. “Nothing.” My hand retracts and rests on my thigh. “I was thinking about Cal.”
“I don’t want him to know I’m here, Collin.”
“I can’t hide you in my apartment forever, Jules. He pops in all the time.” She sighs at this. “Why don’t you want Cal to know?” This shouldn’t be a big surprise to me. She never wants Cal to know and I never tell him when she’s in town, but this is different. She’s hurt!
She’s silent for a minute, and I don’t think she will answer, but as I park, she quietly says, “You two aren’t identical to me, you know that, right?”
I swallow hard because it feels like she’s somehow managed to punch me in the gut and allowed me to breathe. There’s no time to dwell on what she’s said. “Let’s get inside. You probably want to rest.”
Once inside, Julie climbs into my bed. She’s visited before, so her comfort level in my apartment doesn’t surprise me. There’s always been a line with Julie. I don’t cross it because she used to date my brother and I think it still exists. She sleeps in my bed and I take the couch.
My demon from hell roommate jumps onto the bed, causing Julie to gasp.
“You have a cat? When did you get him? Or her?”
“He’s not my cat,” I correct.
“Then what is he doing in your apartment?”
I walk over and sit on the bed, ignoring the orange tabby as he comes over to rub against my arm. “Because he won’t leave. He somehow got into the building and ran into my apartment when the door was open. I tried seeing if he belonged to anyone, but no one claimed him. I leave the door open for him so he can wander out, but the bastard sits there and stares out into the hallway instead. He won’t leave.”
“And you don’t have the heart to take him to the shelter,” she adds what I left out.
“I took him to the vet and got him all checked out. They didn’t believe me when I insisted he wasn’t mine either. I’m not claiming him because I don’t want him, but I’m not exactly going to make him homeless either.” I hate the cat. I’m not a cat person, yet I don’t have the heart to take him to the shelter, even so he can be adopted. It makes no sense to me, or Cal, that I kept this cat, especially since I always complain about him, but the cat likes me and I have a bad habit of petting him and scratching between his ears when he’s around.
“What’s his name?” Julie asks.
“He doesn’t have a name because he’s not my cat.”
Julie laughs as I stand and walk over to my closet. “He needs a name. Can I name him?”
“Go ahead.” She sounds like her normal self right now, and that makes me relax.
“He looks like a Marmalade to me. How does that sound, Marmalade?” Even I can hear him purring from way over here, but she’s probably petting him or rubbing under his chin.
I glance at the two of them and am proven right. But that isn’t what stops my lungs from working. Julie has unzipped her jacket. Her shirt is torn open and I spot more fresh bruises on her. She notices my staring. I can’t even feel bad as she pulls her jacket tight against her, stands with her bag, and disappears into my bathroom to change.
What happened to her? Last I talked to her, she wasn’t seeing anyone. Was this a random attack? Did she call the cops before she ran off? She shouldn’t have run anyway. Julie stills my thoughts and my motions as I’m reaching for my extra sheets when, in a small voice, she asks, “Collin, will you stay in here tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”
“Uh, yeah.” I close my closet door, walk over to the bedroom door, call for the cat to get out, and lock it on the off chance that Cal comes over in the morning. He has a key to my apartment, but not to my bedroom, obviously. I change my clothes, all the while freaking the fuck out over a new problem now.
I can’t sleep in the same bed as Julie!
At this point in my life, I’m pretty sure I love this girl, but not only am I solidly in the friend zone, I don’t know how to navigate the waters as far as my brother is concerned. And I have so much other shit in my head as far as my anxiety goes that this whole situation screams fucked up to me.
Julie lies on her side, facing me, while I lie on my back, staring at the ceiling because I don’t know what else to do.
“You aren’t okay, are you?”
“No,” she whispers.
I take a deep breath. Fuck. “Will you tell me what happened?”
“I got caught up with the wrong person, that’s all.” She scoots closer to me and presses her face to my shoulder. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she mumbles. “Can we sleep now?”
“Yeah.” That’s not what I want to say, but I can’t manage to say anything else as my arms snake around her. I hold her until she falls asleep. I don’t know the full story, and hopefully, she’ll tell me, but right now, I’m happy she’s here and safe with me.
Unfortunately, I don’t sleep at all. I’m too wired, too anxious, and too upset. To pass the time, I think about hockey. That normally relaxes me. It keeps my mind off of things with Julie, at least.
She eventually wiggles away from me, giving me much-needed space, especially for when I need
to get up and get dressed.
“Collin! Get your sorry ass out of bed!”
Julie bolts upright in bed, looking terrified as hell.
“Go back to sleep. I’m locking this door behind me, so no worries. Don’t open it for anyone but me, okay? I’ll be back as soon as I can,” I tell her.
The doorknob jiggles.
“Dude! Why is your door locked? Come on! We need to go!” He bangs on the door while I throw the blankets over Julie as she lies back down.
“Call me if you need me and I’ll be here in ten minutes flat, no matter what.”
She smiles. “Thanks, Collin. You’re the best Kessy I know.”
I grin. She used to tell me that, even when she was dating Cal. “I’m coming,” I call as I walk to the door. I unlock it, but use my body to block his view because I know my brother. Just as I thought, he tries to peer inside.
“What the hell, Collin?”
“Back up and lower your fucking voice.”
“Why don’t you want me to—” His eyes widen. “There’s a girl in there?” he whispers, all excited now. “Let me see her.”
“Are you crazy?” I push him back and step out, locking the door from the inside right before I close it. “Let’s go before we’re late.”
“Who’s in there? When you’d meet her? Why are you holding out on me, Collin?”
I want to ignore his questions, but that will only make him crazier and more annoying. “She’s just a booty call, but that doesn’t mean she loses her privacy. Leave it alone. It’s nothing.”
He eyes me as if he knows I’m lying.
Hell, he’s my identical twin brother. Of course he knows I’m lying.
I fall back asleep after Collin leaves, but a knock on his bedroom door wakes me once more. I wait to hear Collin’s voice. Instead, I hear Cal’s.
“Baby? It’s me. Open up.”
What is that fool trying to pull? Most people can’t tell them apart, but I’ve spent enough time with the two of them that I can tell the difference in their voices. Not to mention that Collin would never call me baby.
Where We Belong (Carolina Rebels Book 8) Page 1
