Xavier balked. “The Gorgon who makes our lawn ornaments? Certainly not. Whatever relationship they have is strictly professional.”
I didn't notice any of Amanda’s creations in the Kaminsky garden. “Do you purchase from her as well? It seems like she's very popular with your group.”
“That's because she's the best in town,” Xavier said. “That being said, I only have one statue in my garden. It's part of a fountain.”
“In the rose section,” Finian added. “One of my few contributions.”
Xavier smiled at his wife. “She chose a statue of Aphrodite. How could I object? The goddess of love was the perfect choice for the center of the rose garden.”
“And Amanda made that for you?” I asked.
Finian nodded. “She was very professional to deal with and very prompt.”
I turned my attention back to Xavier. “Have you ever had a falling out with Mr. Geary?”
“I think everyone’s had a falling out with Al at one time or another,” Xavier said. “It's par for the course.”
“What about a recent one?”
Xavier appeared thoughtful. “We had a disagreement about two weeks ago.”
Phew. Finally. “Do you remember what it was about?”
Xavier shrugged his hulking shoulders. “Nothing important. He was angry because I was late to the meeting. It was third time in a row and he was fed up.”
Finian stroked her husband's arm. “Xavier's job is more demanding than the others, so they have less patience when he's late. Between me and his job, he simply doesn't have the same kind of free time that they do.”
“I’ve started an import export business since the curse broke,” Xavier said. “Takes a lot of time.”
“Wow,” I said. “It's amazing that you manage to keep a garden like yours on top of everything else. That's a real achievement.”
Xavier wore a pleased expression. “Thank you. The garden is an important part of my life.”
“Is it possible that you got a little tired of hearing Mr. Geary complain about your tardiness? Maybe question your dedication to the group one too many times?”
Xavier exhaled gently. “I see where you're going, but you’re sniffing around the wrong coffin. I’m a vampire. Why would I choose to turn someone to stone when I have other weapons in my arsenal?”
“Because you’re clever enough to realize that a vampire attack could be traced back to you,” I said. “By turning Mr. Geary to stone, you’ve shone the spotlight elsewhere.”
Finian inclined her head. “You are clever, Xavier. It's one of the qualities I love about you.”
Xavier gave her shoulder an affectionate pat. “Whose side are you on?” he asked, but his tone was light. “I appreciate that you want to help your friend. Believe me, I’d like to help mine as well—I hate the idea of Al trapped inside that stone—but I have nothing to do with his condition.”
“Xavier wouldn't have time to figure out the kind of magic that would turn anyone to stone,” Finian added. “Like I said, there isn't time left over for anything else.”
Xavier slumped against the counter. “I’m generally too tired for petty revenge. I'd have to find a way to work it into my schedule.”
“The most magic he comes into contact with is my herbal tea,” Finian said.
“But the herbs come from your garden, isn't that right, Xavier?” I asked.
“Yes, but I don't choose them for their magical properties,” he replied. “I choose them for their color, smell, and texture. It's all about how they fit into the design.”
I got the impression that he was being truthful. At that moment, the baby gave me a swift kick and I lurched forward with a moan.
Finian grabbed my arm. “Emma, are you okay?”
I caught my breath and straightened. “Sorry. This is one strong baby. I tend to forget until I feel the kick.”
Xavier stared at my belly for a beat. “As an undead, it isn't often that I get to experience new life.” He tilted his head. “May I?”
I didn’t object. “Plenty of life in here. Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll kick again.”
Xavier placed a gentle hand on my stomach. His eyes sparked with interest as the baby began to move in response. This time it wasn't so much a kick as a shifting of position.
“It's like you swallowed a giant worm that coiled in the pit of your stomach,” Xavier said.
I scrunched my nose. “Sure it is.”
“It’s a compliment,” the vampire said, removing his hand. “Worms are essential to the life of a garden.”
I patted my stomach. “Whatever this baby turns out to be—giant worm, rare demon, basic witch—she’s definitely essential to my life.”
Finian smiled. “And you to hers.”
I thought of the protective shell I provided for my child. The flow of nutrients. The blood supply. It was overwhelming at times.
“Yes,” I agreed. “And me to her.”
Chapter Twelve
By the time Daniel, Gareth, and I arrived at the library for our first parenting class, I was grateful for my earlier nap. We threaded our way through the stacks to a room at the back, where I was shocked to see my vampire therapist perched on a stool.
“Dr. Hall? What are you doing here?”
“Emma, I should’ve realized you’d turn up to one of these.” She lowered her voice. “I bet it was Gareth’s idea.”
“Of course it was,” Gareth said, floating behind me.
“Actually, it was, but why are you here?” Catherine Hall didn’t have children. Didn’t even like them.
“I’m a doctor, Emma. It’s right there in the name.” She pointed to an imaginary badge on her chest.
“You’re a therapist,” I said. “It’s not the same.”
“And I have a degree from one of the best vampire universities in the nation,” she said. “Now sit down so we can get started. I have a lot of material to cover and, unlike our sessions, you are not my only client.”
Reluctantly, I followed Daniel to the middle of the room and took the seat beside him.
“How is she teaching this class?” he whispered.
“I’m as baffled as you are,” I said quietly.
Dr. Hall rubbed her hands together. “Good evening, everyone. Thank you so much for coming. I’m your instructor for Newborn Prep 101—Don’t Screw It Up. I’m filling in for Boyd because he’s out of town on a druid emergency, whatever that is.” Her cackle filled the room. “Can I offer anyone a drink before we get started? I always carry emergency rations with me.”
A troll at the front of the room raised her hand. “I wouldn’t mind water. My midwife said it’s important to stay hydrated.”
“There’s a fountain on your way in,” Dr. Hall said dismissively. “I’m talking about my mobile bar.” She directed her attention to the male troll. “I don’t have my normal broad selection, but I bet I have something for your fine palate, sir.”
“Um, no thank you,” the male troll said after a quick look at his wife.
“Any takers?” she asked, scanning the room. “Well, that’s disappointing.” She produced a flask from her hip. “It’s not really drinking alone when I have all of you with me, right?”
A young naiad raised her hand. “Excuse me, Dr. Hall? Will we be learning how to change diapers in this class?”
“You betcha.” She unscrewed the lid on the flask and took a quick nip of her cocktail du jour.
“Have you ever changed a diaper before?” the naiad pressed.
Dr. Hall flicked her gaze in the direction of the young mom-to-be. “I can do any task necessary during the course of these classes. Who’s got a baby and a diaper?” She snapped her fingers impatiently. “I’ll put your concerns to rest right now.”
The naiad waved her hands. “It’s fine. I don’t want to delay the start.”
“Good, because neither do I.” She pointed two fingers at her own eyes and then back at the naiad as if to say ‘I’ll be watching you.’r />
Daniel raised his hand and I immediately wanted to smack it down.
“What are you doing?” I hissed.
“I have a question,” he said innocently.
“Gareth can answer any questions we have.”
“If that’s the case, then why bother attending the class?” Daniel asked.
I cut him a quick glance. The truth was that I had several reasons for wanting to take the newborn prep class, but not all of them had to do with newborn prep. As I surveyed the room, I smiled at the other pregnant women around me. My current Spellbound friends were either childfree or older mothers like Agnes. Mothers didn’t come much older than the ancient witch. The truth was that I wanted to attend the classes and make mom friends. I imagined our babies growing up together and becoming best friends. I cast a surreptitious glance at the couple next to me. The fairies looked blissfully happy and I thought they might be a nice family to get to know.
I reached for Daniel’s hand. “To spend quality time together before the baby comes, like you want to do with the babymoon.”
“Aye,” Gareth said from behind us. “Quality time is important.”
I looked over my shoulder. “Things won’t ever be the same.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” the pregnant fairy next to me said.
My cheeks colored. “No, I didn’t mean it that way at all. I’m very excited.”
The fairy smiled, flashing a set of deep dimples. “I’m kidding. I know exactly what you mean. I’m Gayle, by the way, and this is my husband, Ben.”
“Nice to meet you,” I said. “I’m Emma and this is my husband, Daniel.”
Daniel leaned forward and gave them a friendly wave.
A loud shush tore my attention away from the nice couple. “You can make friends on the playground later,” Dr. Hall admonished us. “Let’s talk about these final days of pregnancy. Ladies, I’m sure you’re feeling like a wrecking ball, ready to take down the side of your house. Believe me, I’ve been there…with an actual wrecking ball, but still. I empathize.”
A druid raised her hand. “I feel emotional a lot of the time. My husband brought me a glass of water this morning and I burst into tears.”
“I’d cry too if I woke up and realized I was married to that guy,” Dr. Hall said with a quick glance at the druid’s goblin husband.
“That’s not…” The druid faltered and began to cry.
Dr. Hall took another drink from the flask. “Pro tip: the cry babies come after the birth.”
The druid’s mouth snapped closed and her husband slipped an arm across her shoulders.
“Any interesting questions?” Dr. Hall asked. “Because I’m going to ignore the boring ones.”
Gareth drifted beside me and raised his hand.
“She can’t see or hear you,” I whispered.
“You can ask for me,” Gareth said. “Ask whether we should have a birthing plan in place by now.”
I sighed. “Gareth, I know you. You want to organize this birth down to the last detail and that’s not how birth works.”
“Tell us, Emma,” Dr. Hall said. “How does the birth work? We’re all very interested in your hot take with all your birthing experience.”
I decided to make Gareth happy. “Should we have a birthing plan in place by now?”
“Well, you all look ready to explode, so I vote yes,” Dr. Hall said.
The vampire therapist wasn’t going to make this easy. “So what does a plan involve?”
“Don’t be modest, Emma,” Dr. Hall said. “You know how to execute a plan. After all, the sorceress who broke the curse on the town didn’t just stumble into it.”
Everyone around me gasped when they realized that we were that Daniel and Emma.
As far as I was concerned, I kind of did stumble into it, but I kept the thought to myself.
“The key to a good plan is having a backup plan,” Dr. Hall said. “You want a natural childbirth, great. Aim for that, but if the birth goes tits up, be willing to pivot. Don’t be stubborn for the sake of sticking to your original plan.”
“Huh,” Daniel said. “That actually sounds reasonable.”
“Sometimes she can surprise you,” I whispered.
“Why don’t we try putting on and removing a diaper?” the naiad suggested. “That’s definitely something I’ve been worrying about.”
“That’s all you, Gareth,” I whispered.
The vampire ghost recoiled. “Why me?”
“Because you’re a ghost with no sense of smell,” I said. “You’re best suited to the task.”
“But my vision still works,” he replied. “And poo looks as disgusting as it smells.”
Fair point.
Dr. Hall pointed to a box of dolls and we spent the next ten minutes practicing with diapers. Daniel was surprisingly adept, whereas my diaper fell off the doll each and every time. Gareth managed to manipulate the diaper as though he were corporeal.
“Impressive,” I said.
Gayle gaped at the finished diaper. “I’ve never seen hospital corners on a diaper before.”
“Nothing’s escaping that,” Gareth said proudly.
“Will you teach me how to do that?” Daniel asked.
My heart warmed at the thought of Gareth and Daniel working cooperatively. This baby was going to have a positive impact on all the relationships in the house—I hoped.
“I’d like to learn, too,” Ben said.
Before I knew it, a group had gathered around us to observe Gareth’s diapering techniques. Although they couldn’t hear Gareth, they could see the material wrapping around the doll’s bottom with quick precision.
“Your nanny is a ghost?” the troll queried. “How unusual.”
“My mother is going to nanny for us,” another woman said. “Such a blessing to have family nearby.”
“We should get a ghost, Royce,” a pregnant pixie said.
Royce stroked his beard. “I like the idea. Then we don’t have to pay for food or lodging.” He tapped me on the shoulder. “Excuse me, where did you hire your nanny?”
“I didn’t hire him,” I said. “He’s a friend who was already living with us.”
“Ask him if there are others like him,” Royce said. He was a little pushy, but as I intended to make friends here, I resisted the urge to snap at him.
“Trust me,” Daniel said. “There are no others like Gareth. He’s one of a kind.”
“Thank you, Cloud Hopper,” Gareth said.
“Good thing he can’t hear you,” I whispered.
Dr. Hall clapped her hands. “Is the demonstration over? I thought I was the one teaching this class.”
“She should be grateful I stepped in,” Gareth said. “She’s going to scar these parents for life.”
“She hasn’t scarred her clients, so I think the parents will be okay,” I said in her defense.
Despite Dr. Hall’s efforts, the class still seemed intent on learning from Gareth.
“What else can your nanny do?” Gayle asked.
“Does he do laundry?” a pregnant werepanther asked. “That’s my least favorite task.”
“Which explains why my clothes are always in the hamper,” her husband said.
“You can learn how to wash them,” she shot back. “It doesn’t have to be my job.”
Gareth seemed to be basking in the attention, despite the fact that no one else could see him. “Finally,” he said. “A little appreciation.”
“I appreciate you,” I said.
“I wish they could see the crib I made for you,” Gareth said. “They’ll all want one.”
I wasn’t so sure about that. “Gareth cooks,” I said. “And he keeps the house organized. He’s very fastidious, although we do use a cleaning service, too.”
“I wish my house was organized,” the pregnant troll complained. “I’ll be lucky if I find a space to store all the diapers. We still need to do a major clear out before this baby comes.”
Gareth
looked enraptured by the idea of a clear out. “Maybe I could volunteer…”
“You could, but she won’t hear you,” I said. Selfishly, I didn’t want to loan Gareth out to anyone else. It would be like someone borrowing my mother for the purpose of nagging them.
“Unfortunately, our time is up this evening,” Dr. Hall said. “I would’ve gotten through the section on skin-to skin contact if my class hadn’t been usurped by a specter.” She glared in our direction.
“Same time next week?” someone asked.
“Do I look like a calendar?” Dr. Hall shot back. Then she smiled, revealing her fangs. “I hope to see you next time, unless the squat druid is back in town. Then you’re stuck with that guy.”
Everyone gathered their belongings and headed for the door. As the troll stood to walk past her, she held out her flask. “One for the road?”
He gave his wife a pleading look before shaking his head sadly at the vampire.
“Next time,” she called cheerfully.
Gayle fell in step beside me. “You know,” she began, “I meet with a group of pregnant ladies once a week. If you’re interested, I can let you know where and when we’re meeting at next time. We rotate houses.”
“That would be great,” I said. “I don’t know any other pregnant women, so it would be nice to swap stories with others in my position.”
Gayle smiled. “Oh, we’re all in your position. Lying sideways because our backs are sore, sitting on the couch with our feet up.”
“Sounds familiar,” Daniel said.
I felt elated at the prospect of joining a group of new moms like me. Mission accomplished.
“Do the dads ever get together?” Daniel asked.
“They play cards,” Gayle said. “Even my dad joins in sometimes. He loves imparting his wisdom to the new dads.”
Tears involuntarily sprang to my eyes at the mention of her father. Please don’t cry, I told myself.
Ben appeared beside us. “I can let you know the next time we get together. I figure it’ll all come to a crashing halt in a couple of months, though.”
“Count me in,” Daniel said, and I was pleased to see him making an effort to be social.
Charmed Offensive Page 11