I’ve never heard Cohen so pissed off at me.
“I need to ask for a favor,” I remark, desperate to switch the subject.
“Don’t ask me to participate in your lies.”
“I’m not doing anything wrong,” I hiss. “I’m going shopping with them, and I need you to cover for me.”
“Fuck you.”
“Please. I’m going through some shit, but I want to get to know my daughter.”
“Fine, but when this comes back to bite you in the ass, I don’t want to hear you whine about losing her.”
I spent yesterday with Molly playing board games and was introduced to her stuffed animals. I haven’t known her long, but she’s already growing into my heart.
I’m building a relationship with my daughter while my relationship with Sierra is crumbling.
* * *
Even though I told Sierra that Liz is covering my shift tonight, I haven’t asked my sister yet.
“Hey, can you cover for me tonight?” I ask Liz, walking into the bar.
Liz drops the clipboard she’s doing inventory with onto the bar. “Why?”
“Cohen and I are looking at new whiskey in the city. We won’t be gone long, just for the day.” And just like that, another lie slips from my lips so easily.
She shakes her head. “I call bullshit.”
“I call not bullshit.” I crack a smile in an attempt to lighten the mood. It doesn’t work.
“I know when you’re lying to me.”
Do I tell her?
“You had another woman call the bar the other day, acting shady, and there’s tension with you and Sierra.” She shakes her head, staring at me in near disgust. “Here I thought, she’d be the one playing you, yet it seems to be the other way around.”
I flinch at the truth in her words. “I’m not playing her.”
“What’s going on then?”
Here goes.
I start pacing. “Do you remember Jessa?”
“Bitch-face Jessa? Yes.”
I stop to face her. “I got her pregnant.”
She falls back a step, her back knocking into the shelves, and thankfully, nothing falls. “What do you mean, you got her pregnant?”
I shake my head, nerves rippling in my stomach. “Not recently. In the past, when we used to hook up. She came over a few weeks ago and broke the news. I have a daughter.”
“And you believe her?” she says with a laugh and a snort.
“I didn’t until I got a paternity test.”
“Holy shit.” She releases a hard breath. “Have you told Sierra?”
“Not yet,” I croak out.
She throws a towel at me, and I barely dodge it. I deserve to get hit though.
“You’re an idiot,” she snaps. “You can’t hide something like that from her. What would you do if it were the other way around?”
“I doubt Sierra will find out she has a secret baby she never knew about.”
“Shut up, dick. You know what I mean. This is a big deal. It changes your life and everything around it.”
I bow my head. “Trust me, I know.”
She walks around the table, slumps onto a stool, and gestures for me to do the same. “What are you going to do? Does she know you’re her dad?”
I hoist myself on the stool next to her and nod. “I met her the other day. It’s hard on the both of us. She’d thought another man was her father for years.”
Her hand flies to her chest. “Whoa, that’s messed up.” She pats my back with a stern look on her face. “You’d better tell Sierra. News travels fast in Blue Beech.”
Another person knows.
And I still haven’t told Sierra.
* * *
All the madness of my day vanishes when Molly races toward me with a glowing smile on her face.
She jumps up and down. “I can’t wait for us to go shopping today! Mommy said I can get new clothes.” She stops and claps her hands. “She said we can look at American Girl dolls, too! I’ve wanted one for forever and ever.”
I had Jessa meet me at a gas station twenty minutes out of Blue Beech. She smiles and gives me a hug when she sees me. I grit, patting her shoulder, and pull away as fast as I can.
“Do you think she can ride with me?” I ask.
“I thought we could ride together,” Jessa says.
“Yes!” Molly squeals. “Let’s all ride together in the cool car!”
I groan, covering my face. “All right. We’ll ride together.”
Fuck my life.
We pack into the Camaro, and as soon as I turn the radio on to get through this hell of a ride with her, Jessa leans forward and changes the station. I’ve never been so annoyed with someone. Spending time with Molly is supposed to be fun, but Jessa is driving me nuts, and I haven’t even pulled out of the parking lot.
The good to come out of Jessa’s music changing is Molly starts animatedly singing in the backseat.
I check my phone when a text comes through.
Cohen: I still vote you tell Sierra.
I groan.
“Is that your girlfriend?” Jessa asks. “It’s not safe, texting and driving, especially with our daughter in the car.”
I drop my phone in my lap and clench the steering wheel.
God, why are you testing me?
When Jessa realizes I’m not going to talk about Sierra, she stretches her legs out and sighs. “Molly needs some clothes, and she asked for an American Girl doll. Do you mind paying for them?”
I shake my head. “That’s no problem.”
She nods. “We’ll need to figure out child support payments, too.”
I nod. “I’ll call my attorney and have her get in touch with you.”
She bites into her lower lip. “I’m broke, Maliki, so the more you can help us, the better. I was a stay-at-home mom, and now, without Pete, I have no income.”
I don’t mind supporting Molly.
“Start looking for a job then,” I remark.
“As soon as she starts school, I will. I want her to make a smooth transition.”
* * *
I buy Molly four new outfits, new tennis shoes, and an American Girl doll.
We grab lunch in the food court, and Molly holds my hand and skips as we walk out to the parking garage to leave.
“You know what would be fun?” Jessa asks.
Never having to speak to you again.
“If we stayed in the city tonight,” she continues when I don’t answer. She turns to look at Molly in the backseat, a smile on her face. “Wouldn’t that be fun, honey?”
“Yes!” Molly squeals.
Fucking great.
“No,” I grit out without looking at Molly. I can’t see the disappointment on her face.
This is where I draw the fucking line.
“Oh, come on.” Jessa smacks my arm with a laugh. “It’ll be fun.” She whips around to look at Molly again. “Ask Daddy pretty please for us to stay in the city.”
What the flying fuck?
28
Sierra
“I think Maliki is sick of me,” I say. “We’ve been a thing for three months. Maybe that’s his cutoff time. He can’t handle a relationship this long.”
“Are you on drugs?” Ellie asks. “It’s clear how much he loves you when I see you two together. You’ve been into each other for years.”
“He’s acting shady.”
I shrugged off all Maliki’s attempts at conversation while I re-showered.
I don’t like liars.
He stuck around until I got out, kissed me, and left.
Since then, I’ve restrained from texting or calling him.
He texted twice, asking what I was doing.
I’ve ignored them.
What’s he doing? is the better question.
“I love you,” Ellie carries on, “but you don’t trust anyone because of Devin cheating, which is understandable.”
I take a lengthy drink of water and settle the bo
ttle down on the table. “Maybe you’re right.”
“I’m always right.” She grins and pops a cracker in her mouth.
Even if he isn’t cheating like Devin, he’s hiding something.
Our conversation is cut short by Corbin and Devin walking into the apartment.
Devin stops, his eyes dilating when he notices me. “Shit, Sierra. I didn’t know you were here.”
He appears in better shape than I saw him last. He hasn’t attempted to contact me again since our patio talk. Maybe he’s moving on like me.
My chest caves. I hope not with Louise.
Ellie scowls at Devin before shifting the look to Corbin.
Corbin flings up his arms. “We didn’t know you were here! Ellie never told me she was coming over. I thought the coast was clear.”
“It’s fine.” I swish my hand in the air. “I was about to leave anyway.”
“You don’t have to do that. The cheater can go,” Ellie replies.
“I need to work,” I comment, rising up from my chair and grabbing my keys.
“I’ll walk you out,” Devin offers.
“Not necessary.” I glance at Ellie. “I’ll call you later.”
I say good-bye to them and don’t stop Devin as he walks behind me.
“I don’t want to sign, Sierra,” he says as soon as we make it outside.
I swing around to glare at him. “Please, it’s over.” I can’t deal with him on top of this Maliki madness.
“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” His voice loses power at the end, and his eyes are gentle as I meet them with mine. “You don’t want to be with me because of him.”
My stomach knots. “This isn’t about him. This is about your unfaithfulness. We’d still be together had you not done what you did. Maliki has nothing to do with this. Us not being together is all on you.”
His broad chest hitches. “You’re right.”
He turns around without another word and walks to his BMW, shaking his head. He leans into the seat, opens the glove compartment, and grabs a folder. I stay silent as he drags the forms from the folder, a pen falling out, and goes to the last page.
I stagger back a step when he places the paper against my car and signs it.
“Here you go,” he says, holding it out to me. “Be prepared for him to fuck you over worse than I did.” He falters a step after I take them. “We could’ve made it work. Think about that before you sign and throw us away.”
He goes back inside the apartment without another word.
I rest my back against my car, catching my breath, as my heart twists in my chest.
“Be prepared for him to fuck you over worse than I did.”
Devin already knows what’s coming.
I study the divorce papers when I slide into my car.
Am I doing the right thing?
I toss them into my passenger seat and call Maliki.
No answer.
* * *
The crowd has died down when Maliki gets to the bar.
Relief strikes through me that he’s here.
Anger follows next.
I shouldn’t have been afraid he wouldn’t come home tonight.
That’s not a healthy relationship.
He drops a kiss on my cheek, says, “Hey, babe,” and runs upstairs for a quick shower.
When he’s finished, he comes down and does paperwork in the corner, keeping his eyes on me.
I’m drained when my shift ends, and I ask him to close with Mikey, so I can shower. I slide into bed without waiting for him to come up.
When he does, he wraps his arms around me, as always.
“I wasn’t sure you’d come home tonight,” I whisper into the darkness.
His arm twitches, his body stiffening against mine. “What?”
“It seems you’re doing everything in your power to avoid me.”
His lips trickle down my neck. “I love you, Sierra. You believe me, right?”
I nod.
“Whatever you’re gathering in that pretty little head of yours, it’s not what you think.”
“Why are you being sketchy?”
“I’m working it out. I promise.”
“Let me help you.”
“You being here helps me.”
I’m too exhausted to argue.
29
Maliki
This has to stop.
Sierra is breaking down with each day I carry on this lie.
She hardly speaks to me in the morning.
I feel like a piece-of-shit boyfriend.
No, I am a piece-of-shit boyfriend.
What happened after the mall trip proved this will only get worse.
I’m still pissed about Jessa’s sleepover attempt, causing me to look like a jackass in front of Molly. No exaggeration, I declined sixteen times.
I was fuming the rest of the way home.
It got worse when I got to the bar and saw the crestfallen look on Sierra’s face.
The words are sitting on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t set them free.
I almost did last night, but it wasn’t the right time.
The right place.
The right way.
I can’t do it while she’s slinging drinks.
I can’t do it after she’s wiped out from a long night.
I grab my phone.
This shit is long overdue.
No more lying or sneaking around.
She’ll be pissed, but I hope she understands.
Me: Date night tonight?
Sierra: Ooh, sounds good! I’ve missed you.
Me: A night in the city?
Sierra: That sounds perfect.
30
Sierra
“What’s that smile for?” Ellie asks.
The eager grin hasn’t left my face since Maliki texted me. “Maliki and I are going out for the night.”
Her smile grows just as wide. “Does that excitement mean he’s no longer being Shady McShaderson?”
My smile falters an inch. “Somewhat, but I see this as promising.” I shake my head. “I’ve been dumb, waiting this long to demand answers.”
“I don’t see him cheating on you. He looks at you like you own his world.”
“I’m not as worried about cheating as I am him wanting to break up with me. I’m scared he wants to end our relationship, and since he doesn’t know how, he’ll pull away until I cut the cord.”
“Doubt the man is taking you on a date to break up with you. Stop being paranoid.”
“I’m sick of you telling me to stop being paranoid.”
“Then, stop being paranoid.”
“Aunt Ellie!”
Molly comes running into the kitchen, an eager smile glued to her face. She wraps her arms around Ellie’s legs, and Ellie squeezes her shoulders.
“Hey, I didn’t know you were coming over,” she says.
“I need you to babysit.” I hear her grating voice before seeing her. “Mom isn’t home, and I need to run errands.”
“Okay,” Ellie says to Jessa. “A heads-up would’ve been nice.”
“I texted, but you didn’t answer,” Jessa fires back. “Molly asked to hang out with you.”
“I’m watching cartoons!” Molly says before rushing into the living room.
“It won’t be long,” Jessa continues. She turns to leave but halts when her eyes meet mine. “Oh, hey, Sierra.”
I narrow my eyes at the smugness in her tone. “Uh, hey. How’s your moving going?”
My mama taught me never to act rude … unless someone pisses you off. So far, Jessa hasn’t hit that level.
She fidgets with her necklace. “Oh, it’s going. I thought it’d be terrible, moving home, but I’ve enjoyed catching up with old friends.”
“That’s good.” Please stop talking to me.
She smirks. “How’s Maliki today?”
What the fuck? “He’s fine.” I still. “Why?”
She slaps her hand through the air.
“I haven’t heard from him since last night. I know we had a long day yesterday, but we normally talk every day, so this is unusual. I might stop by the apartment and make sure he’s okay.”
My ears ring, my stomach knotting. I’ve never been a violent person, but I want to punch her in the face.
“What are you talking about?” I snap.
She releases a mocking laugh. “He still hasn’t told you we hang out?”
“Hang out where?”
“At my house … sometimes his apartment.” She shrugs. “Whichever is more convenient.”
“Excuse me?” I shriek. “He went to your house?”
She nods. “Not yesterday though. We went to the city, had lunch, spent time together.”
Ellie slides between us, and my stomach sinks.
“What are you doing, Jessa?” she asks, her tone filled with warning. “Don’t come into my home and play games with my best friend.”
I rest my hand against my chest while doing a shitty job of controlling my breathing, controlling my aching heart, and restraining myself from not clawing her eyes out.
“I’m not the one playing games.” Jessa cackles, sharpening her attention on me. “Why are you so offended the father of my child was at my house?”
“What?” Ellie and I scream simultaneously.
Ellie aims her finger toward the door. “Leave. I’ll watch Molly.”
Jessa laughs, pleased with herself, and ignores Ellie. “You don’t know yet, do you?” She squints, a hard smile passing over her lips. “I’ve told him to tell you for weeks now, but that’s how Maliki is, you know? So secretive, lets no one in. That’s why it didn’t work out with us last time, but we’re doing better now that we’re older.”
I shut my eyes. No. No. This isn’t happening.
He would’ve told me if he had a kid.
My eyes tighten. “Nice try.”
Jessa scoffs. “I’m serious. He’s Molly’s father.” All eyes are on her when she drops her bag on the counter, rummages through it, and pulls out an envelope. She slaps it down next to me. “Don’t believe me? See for yourself.”
Just Roommates Page 20
