by Ruby Rowe
“Sex while high can be amazing, but you can’t let the paranoia set in. You’re safe with me, Butterfly.”
“I know. I can’t imagine how incredible it would feel to come right now.”
“You don’t have to imagine it.” He pulls my top over my head and tosses it aside. My bra’s already off since we fooled around when I got here. Wasting no time, he sucks on my nipples and flicks them with his tongue. I latch on to his hair as the sensations overwhelm me.
“Zain, I think I could get off like this.”
“Challenge accepted.” Sucking harder on my nipple, he tugs it toward him and lets it go. He repeats this while teasing my other breast with his fingers. I moan with each intense touch.
He doesn’t stop sucking and tugging, biting, too. He never lets up until he’s created so much pleasure that I skip the step where I teeter on the cliff. Instead, I’m flung straight over it.
My nipples, stiff as nails, ache. My pussy spasms as if it needs something to squeeze. Scooting up, Zain smothers my laborious breaths with a rough kiss, and I feel his cock rubbing against me. I’m spent. Suspended in pleasure and relaxation.
I don’t open my eyes as he climbs off me and removes my shorts and panties. I hear him undress and tear a condom wrapper open.
He moves between my legs and thrusts into me. I gasp from the sudden intrusion, but I sigh after with contentment. Being filled with his girth and length makes me feel complete. Even with his cock inside me, I’ve never felt so free.
He rocks into me, having to do all the work because every part of me is light, like I’m an empty raft that’s buoyant in a calm sea.
Zain stills and comes inside me while the sounds of his long, satisfied breaths fill his room. He settles on top of my body and kisses my cheek and ear.
“You’re a high I’ve never experienced before,” he utters. “I’m screwed.”
“Why?” I murmur. He lifts his head and gazes at me.
“Because when I really like how something makes me feel, I don’t let it go, or at least not without a fight.”
“That’s sweet of you to say, but I’m sure you find plenty of what you want, especially while touring.”
“What I’ve always wanted changed the moment I answered your phone call.”
Needing to switch subjects, I find the ability to focus.
“I’m starving. Are you?” Surely, Zain’s only saying such sweet words because he’s high. He can’t mean them.
Climbing off me, he sits at the side of the bed and removes the condom.
“I need another rip. Want one?”
“Why not?”
Strolling over to his large pine dresser that matches his weathered-looking charcoal bed, he opens a drawer and roots through it.
I get to admire Z’s firm ass before he brings me a black t-shirt. After putting it on, along with my panties, I wait while he dresses in a pair of athletic shorts and gets the bong ready. Once we’ve taken another hit, he smiles.
“I had my housekeeper stock the kitchen. Want to raid it?”
Nodding, I follow him through the house. We enter the kitchen, and he walks over to the counter.
“She bought me this air fryer. Let’s figure out how to use it so we can make fries.”
“You want me to follow directions right now?”
He chuckles. “I guess that’s not the best idea.”
I pick the manual up next to it and attempt to focus on the words.
“Find the potatoes and peeler. We’ve got this.”
Zain
Sitting on my island with her legs dangling off, Olivia giggles like she’s been doing for the last thirty minutes. For some reason, my ability to catch the peanuts she keeps tossing at my mouth cracks her up.
She decided while the fries were cooking that we needed to sample every salty food in the house. The chick’s got a serious case of the munchies. If getting her high gives me the chance to hear her laugh for hours, I’ll keep her that way.
I spot her hot-pink panties between her open thighs, and it gives me the urge to munch on her. Food’s overrated; pussy’s where it’s at.
Slipping my body between her legs, I palm her chest and push on it, signaling for her to lie back. She doesn’t catch on, so I graze my fingers down her panties that are still damp from when I made her wet before.
“Lie back, baby. I want a taste.”
“Zain, you did that right when I got here. You can’t seriously want to go down on me again.”
“If God didn’t want me to eat pussy, he shouldn’t have made it look like a fucking taco.”
Olivia loses it, cackling until she falls back from laughter. Perfect. I yank her panties down her legs and plant her feet flat on the granite island countertop.
“Time for you to come again. When I’m on the road and tell you I’m missing the taste of your pussy, I want you wet on the spot. You’re going to remember how it feels to have my tongue on your clit.”
As her eyes are trained down on me, she swallows.
“Z.”
“Yeah.” I sweep my tongue over her juices.
“You make me feel wanted … and wild.”
“You are wanted, and if the cheating bastard hasn’t made you feel that way, then he’s a stupid fuck who needs his ass kicked.”
“I don’t want the sun to come up.”
“Me, either, sweetheart.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Olivia
“You’ve barely spoken since we left your place. Did I do something wrong?” I ask Zain.
He squeezes my hand that he’s been holding since we got inside his sporty car.
“You haven’t done anything other than make me damn happy. I’m pissed I have to take you home. I’m sorry it’s so early, but I have to swing by my mom’s and see her for a beat before heading to the airport.”
“You don’t have to explain. I understand.”
“I see that.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing.” Bringing our entwined hands up, he kisses mine. “Are you going to talk to me while I’m gone?”
“Of course. I mean, as long as you want to talk.”
“I do.”
“When do you come home again?”
“Not for a while. We’re starting with some cities we missed in the south before we tour up the east coast. We’ll be back in September, but with the album kicking ass, the label added dates to our Canadian and European tour. We’ll only be home for two months before we go overseas.”
“Wow, you’ll even be gone over the holidays?”
“I think we’re home three days at Christmas.”
“You’re going to be away more than I expected.”
“We’ll have a few free days during the next couple of months. If I were to fly home right after a gig, we’d have a whole day together. Or, you could always come see me.”
I turn my head and gaze out the window.
“Let’s play it by ear.” All the obstacles that will separate us race through my mind. There’s Ken, the blackmailing, and the issue of being seen with Zain.
I have activities I’m obligated to help my mother with this summer for her women’s club. They’re public service events to add to my future resume. I’ll have started back to school before Zain returns to San Francisco this fall, which means I’ll be super busy while he’s home.
And I don’t even want to think about the women he’ll meet from now until then. Just the thought of them groping him nauseates me. Zain can’t be mine, so I wish he’d stop making me feel like he could be.
I don’t notice we’re in my driveway until he turns off the ignition. Finding the strength to look at his handsome face, I soak in his coolness as he stares in my direction in his shades. I have to make this as quick and painless as possible.
“Thank you, Z.” Unexpected tears coat my eyes, so I look at my lap. “For the first time, I was able to be myself without feeling like a disappointment to someone. I’ve had the best days of my
life with you.”
Not giving him time to reply, I jerk my hand free from his hold, smack a kiss on his cheek and hurry from his car. Fumbling with my keys, I try to open the door to my condo, but I feel Zain behind me before I succeed.
“Don’t,” I say. “I couldn’t take you leaving if you touched me again.”
“Liv,” he whispers desperately.
“Please go.”
Getting my door open, I rush in and shut it without looking back. I lean against it, and a couple of minutes pass before I hear Zain’s tires squeal and the sound of his revving engine fading in the distance. He left some of his anger in his wake, and I ache inside for causing him to feel anything other than happiness.
My phone buzzes, so I retrieve it from my purse.
Zain: You owe me a damn kiss, and I’ll find a way to collect it soon.
Me: I’m sorry. I was only trying to make this easier on the both of us.
I stare at my phone for a minute, but he doesn’t reply. It will crush me if he disappears for good, but when I think of Landon and the photos that could ruin his life, I know it’s for the best if Zain forgets he ever met me.
***
After showering, I check my phone again and see that Blair has called. I don’t know how I’ll talk about Zain without crying, but my best friend deserves to know I’m at least alive and home. I hit the button to call her.
“Hello, girl,” she says.
“Hi.”
“Are you OK?”
“No. Zain’s gone.”
“Can’t you two still talk like I suggested?”
“It wouldn’t be enough for me. Blair, I think I’m falling in love with him. Is that possible so soon?”
“Oh, honey. I’m sorry. I feel like this is my fault.”
“I chose to spend time with Z, always knowing he would leave. What I didn’t know was how difficult it would be for me once he did.”
“He was that good, huh?”
“Where do I begin? I’m not sure I can explain how perfect our time together was. Not only did I get to know Zain, but I got to meet the person I want to be.”
“Damn.”
“Everything he does and every word that leaves his lips is unapologetic … every touch intense. He’s brazen times a thousand. There’s nothing ordinary about Zain Richie.
“What am I going to do, Blair? I’m being forced to marry a two-timing, wannabe politician when the man I truly want is the king of cunnilingus and rock.”
“Seriously?”
“He likes going down on me so much that I lost count, whereas I can count on my hands the times Ken has given me oral. Of course, now I know he preferred sucking dick. Still, Zain is over-the-top. Like I said, he’s intense.”
“If he wants to be with you, we have to find a way to make it happen. There has to be a way around this situation with Ken, and we’re going to find it.”
Zain
After boarding the jet, I march to the back and sit on the leather couch. Because of airport security, I could only bring my prescription meds with me. I’ll have to get the premium shit once we’re in Dallas, where I’ll then keep it with me on the bus.
I have our flight attendant bring me four small bottles of whiskey and a glass of ice. I down the booze straight from two of the bottles before I pop my headphones in and turn on some rock.
I’ll definitely need more alcohol than this. I’m going to drink until I’m numb all over and my brain is too foggy to think about Olivia.
Apple sits next to me and turns her body to face mine. She needs to leave. I don’t want to see or talk to anyone. I ignore her, so she removes one of my earbuds.
“I know you see me.”
“It’s not a good time, Apple.”
“I wanted to thank you for something.”
Sighing, I pause my music. “What’s that?”
“Clay told me you encouraged him to use a song I wrote on his album.”
“It was no big deal.”
“Yes, it was. After his band recorded it, he played it for the label, and they’re releasing it as a single first. They think it’s that good.” Full of excitement, she wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me. “I wish you could be happy right now because I’m over the moon.”
“I’m happy for you, Peaches. Now, let me go before Tripp turns into Alec Baldwin.”
“What has you down?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Please tell me. We had such a good time together yesterday. I want to help if I can. Is it about Olivia?”
While deciding if I can even say her name out loud, I take a drink.
“It sucked to leave her. I’ve never felt like that before.”
“Did you tell her you like her?”
“Yeah. It was weird because at first it bugged me that she was so understanding about me leaving, but then she got too upset about it once we reached her condo, and that made me feel like shit since I couldn’t fix it.”
“Did you ask her to come with us?”
“No. I already knew the answer, and I was clingy enough. That’s not my style.”
“It stinks you couldn’t have more time with her. That’s the musician’s life. My dad has always had this saying: musician don’t sell their souls to rock and roll—”
“They sell their precious time,” I say, finishing her sentence.
“You know it?”
“I did grow up on your dad’s bus.”
Wrinkling her forehead, she bites her lip.
“Damn. You’ve spent more time with him than I have.”
“Not quality time. I was just an extra person on the bus who was more of a nuisance to everyone.”
Apple cocks her head to the side. “Zain, that’s not true. They were your family. Your dad was on that bus.”
“Are we done here?”
“Ask Olivia to travel with you. Don’t let the road rob you of precious time you could be spending with her. Tripp and I aren’t letting it.”
“But you can be with him publicly. Liv can’t show her face with me. Should I take that as an insult?”
“Listen to me. Stop dogging on yourself. You’re smart, talented and funny. You have a huge heart that any girl would be lucky to have.”
“Thanks, but Liv’s not going to see me that way because her family and ex have brainwashed her to believe there is only one man she can live her life with, and he isn’t anything like me. The thing is, Olivia isn’t like those pretentious assholes. She’s cool and wants to be adventurous. She’s my kind of girl.”
I smile. “She sews some of her own clothes and wants to be a fashion designer. She said she made the shorts she was wearing last night. I don’t know shit about fashion, but they were sexy on her. She even wants to design clothes for you. My point is, Liv won’t pursue that dream because her family has convinced her it’s not what’s best. How trapped they’ve made her feel is bullshit.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.” I lean my head back against the seat. “That’s enough about me. I thought you were hanging back to travel with your dad for the interviews.”
She looks toward the front of the jet where my bandmates are sitting. “Tripp was struggling with it, so I’m going to meet Dad at each of them.”
“Troy’s never going to be OK with you two being apart. You need to address it now and stop letting him bulldoze you.”
Apple lightly punches my shoulder. “I know a guy who didn’t mind bulldozing me when it benefited him. Speaking of which, can you sleep when you’re with Olivia?”
“Yeah, but we didn’t waste much time sleeping. I didn’t want to miss a second with her.”
“Aww, you like her a lot. Don’t give up.”
“Go. I don’t like this feeling. I prefer to drink until I can’t feel anything.”
“Ask her to join us.”
“OK, go.”
She leaves me alone, and I recall watching Liv sleep in my bed. I also think about how I l
eft her with Ken. Will he force her to sleep with him? The thought leaves me blind with rage and fills me with panic. This situation is bullshit, and I’m going to find a way to fix it.
Olivia
“Mom, hi,” I say to her as I enter the banquet hall at her women’s club. It’s the club I’m supposed to become a member of once I marry.
“Hello,” she says curtly as she continues emptying a plastic, rectangular tote at one of the tables. Wonderful. I’m going to have to apologize.
“Look, I’m sorry for how rude I was at lunch the other day, but I won’t apologize for expressing my feelings.” I glance around to ensure none of my mother’s friends are within earshot. “I do feel that you control my life, but I should have discussed it with you in a different manner.”
Turning to me, she holds out a book and pen.
“Place this guest registry at the table near the door. There better be a bidding war tonight. We have generous donations for the event.”
“The guests already paid five hundred dollars a head for dinner.”
“They have the money, and it’s for an important cause. The more shelters we have for the homeless, the less vagrants and garbage there will be cluttering our streets. The epidemic in Contra Costa County is making national news.”
“You forgot to mention how Daddy being at the ground-breaking events for these shelters will only add to his positive image.”
Pursing her lips, Gwendolyn tucks a strand of her short blonde hair behind her ear. Her beauty and sophistication annoy me at times.
“Your father’s image affects Ken’s, which in turn affects yours. Where is this sudden resistance and lack of respect coming from?”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t recall the last time our family did something that wasn’t for personal gain. Altruism is about acting out of concern for the well-being of others. Wanting the homeless in shelters solely to make our city more aesthetically pleasing is not altruistic.”
A ghost of a smile passes across my mother’s lips. She grasps my shoulders and gives me a kiss on the cheek.
