“You coming?” he asks when he realizes I’m not following him.
“Right behind you!” I shake myself and step into line behind him.
Kent is hilarious. I’d forgotten how funny he is. Away from the prying eyes of fellow guests, we lounge on the enormous twin couches in his room, drinking wine and gossiping as if we’re back in high school. The wine warms me from the inside out, but it’s Kent who keeps the heat in my cheeks.
“God, I’ve missed you,” he says after I’ve performed an Oscar-worthy impersonation of Erica Gilmore, his college girlfriend, which included a deep and meaningful conversation with the potted plant beside me. He’s laughing as he says it, but it makes my heart flip-flop in my chest. I don’t know what’s happening to me.
“I need to use the bathroom,” I say, grabbing my purse.
Once I’ve locked the door safely. Behind me, I. whip out my phone.
I’m with Kent, I text Mandy. And I’m having feelings. Help!
I stare at the screen, frantically trying to calculate the time difference, and almost weep in relief when I see that she’s typing.
I’m not understanding your problem.
It’s Kent!
The hottie from the photograph?
Yes.
And you’re with him now?
Yes.
Is there a bed in the general vicinity?
I frown. Yes.
I’m still not understanding your problem.
I should’ve texted Kate.
“Would you like a refill?” Kent asks when I walk back into the living room. He’s sitting exactly where I left him, but the TV is on, volume turned low.
“No, I’m good, thanks.”
He switches the TV off.
“Actually, I think I should go.”
“Go?” he blinks at me. “Why? It’s still early.”
“I know, but I have a busy day tomorrow. Lesson plans and all that jazz.”
“Okay.” He gets to his feet, looking disappointed. “I’ll walk you out.”
“You don’t have to do that. I can see myself out.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
We don’t speak in the elevator ride down to the lobby. Kent is searching my face, but I keep it blank, revealing nothing. The street outside is quiet, but the second we reach it, Kent’s control frays.
“Amber.” Kent runs his hands through his hair. “What’s going on?” He’s standing close to me, too close, and even in my heels, I have to crane my neck to look up at him.
“Nothing.” I duck my head, but his hand rises to my chin, and he tilts it back. I blink in embarrassment under his scrutiny.
“Don’t lie to me.”
A lifetime passes between us. His eyes are warm, filled with concern, and it hurts to look at him.
“You were right,” I admit softly.
“About what?”
“It wasn’t Erica. It wasn’t just you. Back in college,” I add hastily, as a look of confusion crosses his face. “I pulled away first. I got involved with Lara, and that stupid crowd, and I lost track of what was important.”
He blinks, taken aback by my admission. “You’re saying I was important?”
“You were my best friend, Kent. Of course you were. You…” I shake my head, my thoughts in turmoil. So quickly, so easily, we’ve slipped back into this familiarity, as if the past few years never happened. But they did happen, and Kent – Kent grew up. He grew up into a successful, incredible man, and I was too self-absorbed to notice. I’m the world’s biggest idiot.
“What did you mean?” I ask, frantic for a handle on my emotions. “When you said that you dated Erica because she was interested.”
“Amber…”
“I want to know.” I’m firm because it’s been niggling at me since he said it, and I need to know if my suspicions are founded.
His eyes burn into mine. Neither of us looks away. A cab ventures near, but he makes no move to hail it down. My heart starts to beat a little faster in my chest.
“What do you think I meant?” he murmurs eventually, and the resignation in his voice is as good as an admission.
I feel pinpricks of pain in the corners of my eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
His sigh is soft and sad. “Would you have cared?”
I don’t need to say anything. We both know the answer. I want to apologize, to tell him that I was stupid, and selfish, and blinded to what had been right in front of me, but it’s too little too late. And I’m terrified to ruin this fragile new peace between us, to jeopardize the friendship we’re so carefully rebuilding.
“I care now,” I whisper, so softly I’m not sure he’s heard me.
“Amber.” My name is a song on his lips. His arms come up, reach for me, and then they fall away. Kent’s expression is one of horrified regret. “Amber, there’s something you need to know.”
I barely register the words which follow. Only that her name is Megan, and they’ve been seeing each other for a few months. My jaw aches with the effort of keeping my expression neutral, and my heart slows to a dull thud.
“I’m happy for you.” I hear myself saying, my voice too high, too bright. “Really, Kent, I am.”
A puzzled frown. “Amber, I”
“That all happened a long time ago,” I say quickly. “We’re different people now. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry for how I treated you back then, that’s all. Mostly, I’m just glad we’re back to being friends.”
“Can we go back upstairs?” he is pleading. “We can talk about it.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” I spot a lone cab cruising down the street, and I leap forward to flag it down.
“Amber!” he yells after me.
“Thank you for a wonderful evening,” I call back, and then I launch myself into the cab.
17
I’m not proud of what I do next. Humiliated and heartsore, I text Chase. What are you up to?
Nothing right now.
Want to meet for a drink?
His reply is only one word. Where?
We meet at a pub just a few blocks down from my apartment. It’s tiny, but the jukebox in the corner belts out eighties love songs and drowns out the sound of my phone ringing. Kent has called four times, but I don’t answer.
“I must admit, I was surprised to hear from you,” Chase says when he arrives. He kisses me full on the mouth in greeting. “I know I wasn’t supposed to contact you for another two weeks, but I’ve never been good with rules, and I certainly didn’t expect a reply.”
“I’m not particularly good at following rules either, obviously.”
He tips his glass toward mine, “To rule breakers.”
I force myself not to think of Kent. He’s not available, and I’ll be damned if I let that come between us now, after we’ve finally managed to become friends again. The best thing to do is move on, as quickly as possible. Chase is a nice guy. He’s successful and funny, and someone I could see myself falling for. So I focus on what’s right in front of me. On the present, because there’s no point living in the past.
The following morning, I get a text from Kent. Flying home, something’s come up. I’ll be back as soon as I can. We need to talk.
I hope everything’s okay. I reply. We can talk when you’re back.
When he follows that with a phone call, I don’t answer it.
I don’t hear from him for two weeks. In that time, I have a platonic date with Basil Mitchell and one of Mandy’s other regulars – James Gerber – a giant of a man with a mop of curly hair and the creased face of someone who’s spent a lifetime working outdoors. I also have five very non-platonic dates with Chase. The more I spend time with him, the more I start to believe that he could truly be the man who gets me over Kent. I’m aware that I’ve been avoiding Kate, but she’s too nice to comment, and I know that right now I have bigger issues to deal with. Mandy, on the other hand, is not as tolerant. Only two days ago, she’d torn into me on a video cal
l for not keeping in contact. “I’m flying in on Sunday,” she’d warned, “and I expect to see your face!”
I don’t mention that Saturday is my birthday. I don’t tell anyone.
On Saturday afternoon, Chase and I watch a movie at the local theatre, most of which we miss because we’re making out in the love seat.
“Can I come back to your place?” he asks as the credits roll, his voice a warm breath in my ear. I stiffen. He hasn’t been to my apartment. I haven’t been to his, either. We’ve done a lot of kissing, but our relationship hasn’t moved beyond that. To be fair, we’ve only had eight dates. The old Amber would be laughing her twisted head off. The new Amber is far more conscious of her reputation.
I gaze up into Chase’s blue eyes. They’re warm and inviting.
“Sure,” I say, as his mouth finds mine for another lingering kiss.
Outside my apartment block, he raises both brows and gives a low whistle.
“Business must be good,” he teases.
“Well, seeing as I haven’t charged you a cent, you should be grateful that someone else is footing the bill.” That’s another good thing about Chase. He doesn’t judge me for what I do. He understands that none of my other dates are any threat to what we have.
He chuckles, his fingers interlaced with mine. His thumb massages the palm of my hand in slow, lazy circles and my pulse spikes. I know what he’s expecting, when we get upstairs. I smile at him, trying to slow the frantic beating of my heart as we head for the elevator. Chase seems to sense my unease. He starts kissing me, sweetly, before the doors have opened. I melt against him, feeling his strong hands on my hips, the long, lean length of him pressed up against me. By the time we reach my door, our kisses have become deeper, more urgent, and I fumble behind me, trying to get my key into the lock.
“SURPRISE!” The roar of raised voices sounds the second we tumble through the door. I drop my keys and leap away from Chase, my hand rising to cover my mouth, my shoulders heaving as I gasp for breath. A stunned silence follows as I take in Mandy, Ryan, Kate, Bianca, and my parents standing in the hall of my apartment. I take them in with one quick sweeping glance, but it’s the tall, dark-haired man at the end who draws my attention. The man who is gazing at me with a hollow expression, his eyes filled with pain and disappointment. He tears his eyes away from me to look at Chase, and then he shakes his head.
“Kent!” I say as he stalks past us. I don’t even bother explaining to Chase as I rush after him. “Kent!” He’s standing at the elevator, jabbing the call button with unnecessary force, his head bowed. “Please look at me.”
I don’t expect him to obey, so when he does, I’m still trying to find my words. “Where are you going?” I ask lamely.
He laughs, but it’s a horrible sound. Dry and bitter.
“What’s wrong?”
He doesn’t reply, just jabs again at the button. I feel a flare of anger rise in my chest. Sure, having everyone see me and Chase making out isn’t ideal, but Kent’s reaction is completely irrational. Especially seeing that he has a girlfriend.
When the elevator doors open, I step right in beside him. He jabs the button for the ground floor. “The least you can do is talk to me,” I snap.
He rounds on me in disbelief. “Oh, really? Like you’ve been talking to me the past few weeks?”
I flinch away from the genuine rage on his face. “I wasn’t ignoring you. I’ve just been busy.”
“I can see that.” The words are cold and ugly.
“That’s not fair! This is ridiculous, we’re friends. Why are you acting like this?”
“We’re not friends, Amber. Not anymore.”
“What?”
“Two weeks ago you said things, things that implied you felt something for me. Two weeks ago. And I believed you!” That harsh bark of laughter again. “God, I’m an idiot. All these years. People don’t change, I don’t know why I let myself believe that you had.”
“I have changed!”
“Two weeks ago, Amber!” he roars, so loudly that the elevator doors seem to rattle. “You couldn’t wait two weeks before you jumped into bed with another man!”
My head jerks up. “Wait? What do you”
“Forget it.”
The elevator doors open, and he steps out. “Happy birthday,” he sneers, handing me a ribbon-enrobed envelope. I take it, automatically, and gaze up at him, at the muscle going in his jaw, at the cold fury in his green eyes. “Goodbye, Amber.”
All the way back up to my floor, I stare at that envelope, wondering what the hell just happened. It doesn’t make any sense. I slide my thumbnail under the seal and tear it open, but before I can reach inside, the doors open and the sound of furious voices reaches me.
Mandy and Chase are standing in the hall outside my apartment, clearly involved in a heated argument. There’s no sign of anyone else, and I can only pray they’re all still inside.
“What’s going on?” I say when it becomes obvious that Mandy and Chase haven’t noticed me. They both turn to look at me, but Mandy gets there first.
“What the hell are you doing, dating this sack of shit?” Mandy demands.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Chase Crawford!” she seethes. “What’s the point of the book if you’re going to ignore everything inside it?”
“What are you talking about?” I ask, risking a glance at Chase, He doesn’t look angry. In fact, he looks… amused.
“The red list,” Mandy says. “This bastard’s on it.”
“No, he’s not,” I say, shaking my head in emphasis. “I checked. There’s no Chase Crawford on file. He’s a new referral…” I trail off as I catch sight of the ugly grin spreading over Chase’s face. “You’re a new referral,” I repeat, but this time I speak directly to him.
“Afraid not, sweetheart.”
My blood is thundering in my ears. “I don’t understand.”
“He’s married,” Amber spits out, then, giving me an apologetic look, “this is the guy I told you about. The one I broke the rules for. He’s a lying, two-timing pig.”
“You’re married?” I gasp, but Chase isn’t listening. He reaches out a hand and brushes his fingers across Mandy’s jaw. She slaps it away.
“You girls have your little games,” he murmurs, sparing me a wink. “And I have mine.”
“Get out,” I snarl. “Get out, you son of a bitch, or, I swear to God, I’ll rip your fucking dick off.”
Chase takes two swaggering steps toward the elevator when I draw back my fist and send it hurtling toward his face. Pain blossoms in my knuckles, but I feel the satisfying crunch of bone beneath it.
“You bitch!” he clutches his bleeding nose.
“Try explaining that to your wife,” Mandy drawls.
Chase rounds on her, his arm raised, and for a heart-stopping moment, I think he might hit her.
“Try that, son, and it’ll be the last thing you ever do.” My father speaks from the now open doorway, the Great White on full display. The predatory look on his face is terrifying. Chase backs up, and I press the call button for the elevator. It opens immediately and swallows Chase whole.
18
It takes the better part of an hour to explain everything to my parents. There was no lying my way out of it – the apartment speaks for itself – something Mandy forgot to consider when she planned this surprise party. After Chase had left, she took everyone downstairs for a drink so I could speak to my parents in private.
“I don’t understand why you’d do it,” my dad insists. “If you needed money that badly…”
“Dad, seriously. I’m not a whore. It sounds bad, but it’s not like that. And I didn’t want your money. Well, I did, in the beginning, but after I started working and cut back on the booze, I started to enjoy the financial freedom. I know this isn’t exactly the ideal way for you to be introduced to my life here, but it’s been good for me. You were right. It’s exactly what I needed.”
“Kent told us,” my
mother says quietly. “That you were flourishing here. He’s been keeping us informed.”
I try not to wince at the mention of his name. “See? You know Kent wouldn’t give me credit if it wasn’t due.”
Even my father can’t fault this reasoning.
“And that man?” he asks. “The one outside. How does he fit into all of this?”
“He’s just an asshole who conned me into thinking he was something that he wasn’t. Don’t look so stressed, dad, we didn’t actually sleep together. And even the most responsible people make mistakes. What happened today with Chase doesn’t take away from all the good I’ve achieved here.”
He seems about to question me further when his pocket beeps. “It’s Kent,” he says, reading the incoming text. “He’s catching the next flight out of Beijing.”
They both look up at me as the blood drains from my face.
“Sweetheart,” my mom says softly, “what happened with you two?”
“I don’t know. Everything was going well, but then today… he just lost it.”
“It can’t have been easy for him, seeing you with that man,” my dad grunts. “I know it wasn’t easy for me.”
“Dad, Kent and I are friends, but it’s got nothing to do with him who I date!”
“She’s right,” my mom says, and I give her a grateful smile. “I think your father and I are just confused, Amber. From what Kent was saying, we thought perhaps you two were more than just friends. Or on your way to being more than friends, at least.”
“That would be a bit difficult, considering he has a girlfriend.”
Their eyes meet, and something passes between them.
“What?” I ask. “What are you not telling me?”
“Honey, Kent doesn’t have a girlfriend. He did,” she adds quickly, “but he flew home two weeks ago to end things. Megan was devastated, and it took her a few days to accept it, but he explained that his heart belonged to someone else. We were under the impression that someone was you.”
Awkward Abroad (Awkward #2) Page 11
