Returning to Roxy’s house, Skylar spread out her purchases and Roxy went to work, teaching her how to dress, wear makeup, and style her long hair. In less than a week, everyone at school noticed the difference, not only in Skylar’s looks, but also in her confidence. The most popular boys started asking her out, but she played coy and always refused, believing her friendship with Roxy came first.
Months went by, and they became the most talked about duo in school. They were asked to join all the right clubs, excelled in every subject, and were voted onto the homecoming court. Then one day, the best-looking guy in Nevada showed up in their homeroom class. He flirted with Roxy relentlessly, and despite Skylar’s warning, she refused to shut him down. In less than a week, they became a hot item, leaving Skylar angry, disappointed, and alone.
At her wit’s end, she called Adrian’s phone, anxious to reconnect with him. She thought they could spend time together during their one-week spring break. Her calls went unanswered for three days, and she began to doubt their friendship ever existed. Then, on the fourth day, she overheard kids at the mall talking about how shocked Adrian’s mother must have been after finding him in his bedroom closet, hanging by the neck on his father’s leather belt.
Just as Skylar had feared, the urge to hurt herself returned with vengeance, filling every waking hour. Yet she refused to give in—refused to allow her panic and guilt wound her. Needing distractions, she tried a technique she learned in therapy, and drew red lines on her arms. She took out her frustrations on the tennis court, nearly breaking the ball machine. She read dozens of books on flying. She even created an imaginary place with maps of magical kingdoms and characters that believed themselves gods of their world.
Climbing through her bedroom window at night, she laid down on the roof. She stared out into the depths of space—inky blackness, dotted with pinpricks of light. Like the artificial illumination of the hotel windows she had stared through as a young child, the lights shut off one by one, swallowed up by the great, endless cavern of the universe, stretching beyond Skylar’s imagination.
She looked at the phone in her hand, her only light source, and checked the time. It was 2:14 A.M. on Earth. At least in the country she came from. A country—no—a planet that no longer existed. From her phone’s speaker, a voice crackled. A cold, metallic voice, unfit to replace human companionship. It was the Artificial Intelligence app, her only reliable friend.
“Are you suffering from homesickness?” It spoke not out of concern, but out of a programmed pragmatism. Happy crew members were useful crew members. Useful crew members got jobs done. But there were no more crew members left on board Skylar’s imaginary spaceship. Just rows of empty sleeping pods and the constant hum of radio frequencies.
Skylar turned off the phone and sent the AI to sleep for the night. She was sick and tired of thinking about home, wherever that might be. But what choice did she have? Even putting aside the pointlessness of her existence, she had to give a small amount of credit to her estranged grandfather. After all, he was the one who saved her from being pushed into the revolving doors of state foster care. By the age of seven, she’d already graduated from the school of hard knocks with a major in survival skills, and there was nowhere to go but up. You see, when parents play battleship with coke-filled nukes, everybody loses, especially their children. That was her hard-learned discovery. But somehow, she didn’t mind the destruction of her fathom crew—her self-absorbed parents who no longer existed. She didn’t resent the isolation either. At least not in and of itself. If they had stuck around long enough to win the space race—the rush to fling themselves off Earth and make a name for themselves—she would have had good reason to admire them. But instead, they had leaped through the open moon door, ending it all, leaving her alone on this vengeful, ugly planet. Then again, she didn’t mind their absence. But, hell, what she wouldn’t give to speak to Roxy at that moment, instead of interacting with a program some whiz kid invented. Even if it was just for a little while.
Skylar turned her phone on to check the time, ignoring the AI’s cheerful smiling face. It was 3:15 A.M. She sighed and contemplated throwing herself off the roof and out into the emptiness of space, letting the dark expanse claim her. But she didn’t. She was a habitual coward, within easy reach of a blade. And so, the interplanetary trashcan continued to hurtle her through the sea of stars and into the arms of nothingness, as it always had. She was the only living passenger, glued to Earth’s exterior window, like a kid on their first amusement park ride. Just as she had for the last eight years, she stared at the blanket of stars overhead, hoping to one day soar beyond time and space. There had to be a universe out there where she could fit in—a place where she could dream about the future and wipe away the memories of her miserable, earthbound life.
2
Name Day
“Distance means so little when someone means so much.”
— ANONYMOUS
On a sunny Saturday morning in April, Skylar’s grandfather burst in on her, sitting on the bathroom floor, drawing red lines on her arm. Rather than commend her on replacing a box cutter with an ink marker, he freaked out and threw it into the trash, cursing under his breath. Then, while she was still looking down, he tossed a FED-EX envelope on the floor and walked away without saying a word. She picked it up and ripped it open. Inside were two tickets to the Chino Planes of Fame Air Show. It was the same gift she had received every year on her birthday, minus a card or explanation.
Skylar set them on her bureau next to the wooden replica of a VF-17 Jolly Rogers Corsair—a hand-me-down from her grandfather that appeared one day. But oddly enough, the benefactor’s name for the tickets remained a mystery. With the help of her former friend, Roxy, she’d been able to come up with a list of potential suspects, including the woman from the social service agency who discovered her interest in planes. However, after receiving word about the caseworker’s massive heart attack and experiencing the end of her relationship with Roxy, Skylar had lost all interest in knowing the donor’s true identity. She wasn’t even interested in attending the show.
Skylar was staring at the AI app on her phone and considering a daily chat with her planetary friend when the doorbell chimed in the foyer. Seconds later, footsteps hurried up the stairs and halted outside her bedroom door.
“Sky?”
She was so startled by the voice, she nearly toppled her chair. It was Roxy! Her mind reeled, but she held her tongue, revealing nothing.
The door cracked open and Roxy said, “Hey, it’s me.”
Skylar gnawed on the corner of her lip, her eyes fixed on her laptop computer. She wasn’t going to give Roxy the satisfaction of seeing any excitement on her face. “What are you doing here?” she asked.
“I stopped by to wish you a happy sixteenth birthday.” Roxy stepped inside Skylar’s room and dropped down on the edge of her bed, looking hopeful. But Skylar remained cool and indifferent. Roxy knew all about her troubles and the hardships she’d been through. They’d shared everything and never kept secrets from each other, and yet misguided priorities had kept Roxy away.
“What are you working on?” Roxy asked her.
With an indifferent sigh, Skylar said, “Nothing you’d be interested in,” and went back to typing. After tapping a few unintelligible sentences, she eased back in her chair, allowing the silence to fill the room.
Roxy leaned forward, as if preparing to stand. “I’m sorry for not coming sooner. I missed you.”
Just not enough. Skylar watched Roxy’s troubled reflection in the mirror. Having her here, in Skylar’s personal space, reignited the anxieties she had fought hard to control. She remembered the ink and yanked her sleeve down to cover her arm.
“Was there something else?” Skylar’s voice was angrier than she had intended.
Roxy blinked as her words struck her. “I thought you should know that Michael and I are over. He turned out to be a complete asshole, just like you predicted. He’s the most conceited person I’ve ever
met. Always acting like he knows everything about everything.” She sneered and continued. “Which he obviously doesn’t.” She cocked her head to one side, catching Skylar’s eye. “He also thinks airplanes are stupid and women are inferior. As far as I’m concerned, he’s the definition of a dipshit.” She tried on a smile, but it failed to bring a reaction. Skylar looked at her keyboard and didn’t interrupt. “I should have listened to you instead of wasting my time with that idiot. I’m sorry. I was wrong to ignore you. Your friendship means the world to me, Sky.”
“It’s been more than six weeks—”
“I know. I was a horrible friend. The absolute worst kind.”
Roxy had filled such a large void in Skylar’s life. She was a wonderful friend before Michael came between them.
“I missed you,” Roxy said. “I’m so sorry. Please say you can forgive me. Please, please, please…”
Letting go of emotional pain never came easy for Skylar. She half shrugged, not knowing what to say.
“Is that a yes? Come on…say yes.”
Skylar squinted. “Maybe.”
Roxy sat without moving. She might have been holding her breath, waiting for a response.
“All right,” Skylar finally said. “Yes. I forgive you. But I’m still upset.”
“That’s okay. I’m upset with me too. But I’m going to make this right.” She smiled. “I’m glad you’re giving me another chance.”
Skylar couldn’t help but return the smile. “I’ve missed you too.”
“Good, because I think we should do something fun tomorrow. Something to celebrate your birthday. There’s a new action thriller playing, and I know how much you love those movies.”
“What about the airshow? It ends tomorrow, but I got my tickets today.”
“Really? Your secret admirer sent them again?”
“Yeah. But I’m not so sure you could call this a “secret admirer” situation. Check this out!” She grabbed the envelope off her dresser. “Finally a name. E. Edwards, whoever the hell that is. But I was thinking about skipping it anyway.”
“No! You can’t skip it! You have to go. We have to go.”
“Are you sure about that? You haven’t seemed interested in flying at all…and I sorta gave up the idea.”
“That’s crazy! You’re going to be the best pilot ever. Next to me, of course.” Roxy smirked. “We’re going to fly higher than anyone in this world. Just wait and see.”
Skylar tilted her head. “You really think so?”
Roxy enthusiastically nodded, and while she was doing that, it occurred to Skylar that there was probably a woman being hit by a car. Or a man being murdered. Or a child dying of cancer. Or a family being worn down by the ache of starvation. There was also someone else in the world smiling. Perhaps after kissing a loved one, or while enjoying a dinner with close friends. Or while they sat on a beach, watching the waves massage the shore. A poster on the wall above Roxy’s head was only half right. “Smile and some of the world is smiling with you.” The other half was probably suffering. Everyone had to deal with stressful relationships. Well, according to her know-it-all therapist anyway.
Roxy adjusted her headband—a print of bold, orange daisies that matched her leggings but teetered on the edge of clashing with her auburn hair. Then she fluffed her ponytail in a never-mind-you kind of way. She wasn’t normally prissy about her hair, but Skylar seemed to bring out a touch of vanity in her—this weird cross between flirtation and defiance.
“So, what do you think? Fighter pilots, airline pilots, or astronauts?” Roxy asked with excitement.
“Any kind of pilot would suit me.” Skylar relaxed a bit. Relief surpassed her anger, and she smiled.
She felt a deep need to fill her in on what had happened during their time apart—a brief summary on recent events. Call it venting. Call it therapy. She just needed to let someone know, so that it wouldn’t consume her thoughts all day. However, when she finished her story, Skylar began to feel exposed.
Should she have been so open about her fears and worries?
Roxy remained silent for the longest time, then she looked up with tear-filled eyes. She jumped up and wrapped her arms around Skylar.
“I’ll be there for you from now on.” She squeezed her tighter. “You’ll never have to worry about me.”
Skylar leaned back, breaking her hold. “Even when I’m acting stupid?” She was relieved to see Roxy smile again.
“Yes, of course. And me too. I know it sounds childish, but let’s make a promise to always be friends, no matter what.” She raised her pinky finger and waited for Skylar to join her. Without a second thought, she wrapped her pinky around Roxy’s.
“Forever and ever,” Roxy said. She pulled her hand back and smiled. “By the way, I’m gonna have to meet you at the fairgrounds. My dad’s flying in from Florida tomorrow morning, and he’s demanding that I be home when he gets there.”
“Oh.” Skylar fiddled with her watch band. “Okay.”
When it came to Roxy’s dismissive father, Skylar wasn’t a huge fan and, for the most part, the feeling seemed mutual.
Roxy reached out to Skylar and hugged her again. “Don’t be such a worry wart. I’ll find you at the airshow. Believe me, I wouldn’t miss it for anything.”
“Just try not to be late.”
“I know, I know. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cut cheese.”
“Cut cheese?”
“Yeah, the fart. You know…cutting the cheese?”
It wasn’t a funny nor clever joke, but they both laughed out loud. It felt so good to just laugh again.
“You need to work on your material, Roxy.”
“You think?”
“Definitely.” Skylar looked at the envelope again. Always a plain white envelope inside a FEDEX pouch, nothing special or unique. However, the addition of a name rekindled her interest. She pulled out the tickets. “Someday I’m going to find out who sends these, who this E. Edwards person is.”
Roxy snagged a ticket. “Yep. We’ll find him together!” She checked the seat number. “Just where I thought we’d be. Right up front where all the action is. Hey! I almost forgot to tell you what Michael’s father did.” Roxy’s mind switched gears quickly in most conversations. Her thoughts always going a mile a minute. “He stole more than a million dollars from his company and was booked at the county jail yesterday. The police confiscated everything he bought and no bail because he’s a flight risk.”
“You’re kidding! That’s awful! Geez, Roxy, how do you know so much about it?”
She collected her backpack. “My mother told me. It was in the news or something. Anyway, it must have been so humiliating.”
“So, I guess that means adios BMW…”
“Yep. And hello, big yellow bus.”
They both giggled at the thought of Michael Donley’s diminished stature at school. The same school where he bragged about his movie connections, 60-foot yacht, and European vacations. With the lifestyle he was supposedly leading, it never made sense to Skylar why his family ended up in Reno in the first place.
“Oh, geez,” Roxy said, “I almost forgot.” She bent down and dug into her backpack, pulling out two gift-wrapped boxes. “Take these with you to the airshow. We’ll open them together…as soon as I get there.”
Skylar looked at the presents in her hands and smiled. “You really didn’t have to buy me anything, you know.”
“Yeah, well…I needed a good excuse to go shopping.”
They both chuckled. Roxy never needed an excuse to go shopping.
“So it’s a done deal,” Skylar said. “I’ll see you tomorrow…”
“Heck, yeah. Where else would I be?”
Skylar hugged her tight and murmured a thank you. Then they walked downstairs and out to the curb where a fancy black car was parked.
Roxy’s mother leaned across the passenger seat and spoke through the open window, “Hello, stranger! It’s so good to see you two
back together again.” The girls smiled at each other. “We missed you, Sky! How about a sleepover next week?”
Skylar grinned. “Sure. I’d love that, Mrs. Capellan.”
Roxy climbed into the passenger seat and slammed the car door. “Grab a large popcorn for me. Extra butter. I’ll bring the M&Ms…minus red, of course.”
Mrs. Capellan’s brow wrinkled. “Did I miss something?”
“I’ll explain on the way to the restaurant,” Roxy told her. Then she turned to Skylar. “I’m going to make sure you have the best birthday week ever!”
They drove away smiling and waving. Her best friend was back, and they were going to the airshow together! She couldn’t wait to watch the Corsair and Blue Angels in action. Especially with Roxy beside her.
Skylar stood on the curb with a silly grin on her face, happier than she ever thought possible. With so much to look forward to, tonight was going to be the longest night ever.
3
Delirium
“The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train.”
— ANONYMOUS
Sunday morning came bright and early, filled with wonderful possibilities. Skylar took a hot shower and danced around in her room, enjoying the sun rays beaming through her bedroom window. A car honked outside, and she glanced down, like a princess spying on her kingdom. Eight years ago, her view included a parking lot frequented by hookers, bums, and drug dealers. Now, there were strollers, joggers, dog walkers and a group of young boys throwing a Frisbee in the adjacent park. These people seemed oblivious to the shady characters living on the other side of town.
Skylar stepped back from the window and shook the dark thoughts from her mind. Surreal. She lived a completely different life now, but she could never erase memories of her past. They reminded her how far she had come.
She set to work applying makeup, braiding her long brown hair, and tucking a new long-sleeve white shirt into the top of her jeans. Then she stepped before the long vertical mirror propped against her wall and studied her reflection. For the first time in months, she actually liked what she saw. The sun had blessed her with a golden tan and highlights in her hair, making her look like an exotic young woman, not afraid of anything. At least, not with Roxy around. Her smile was back, her dark mood was gone, and her brown eyes were sparkling with excitement. However, while pulling on her black ankle boots, she couldn’t help wondering how Roxy’s father had reacted after discovering where his daughter was spending her Sunday. According to Roxy, he considered any activity that didn’t promote or enhance her status a complete waste of time. To make matters even more interesting, Roxy was going to this pointless event with “that squirrely kid from school.”
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