“Thank god,” Luke said, eyes closing as he exhaled with relief. “I knew you’d do it, Lainey.” He regained his composure and rubbed her arm. “I knew you’d find a way to locate Sara.”
“Yes,” Lainey said, suddenly overcome with exhaustion. “We’ll find her.”
“Let’s get back to the hotel,” Hunter said, his piercing gaze roving over her, assessing.
As Luke summoned the car from his phone, Hunter pulled her to his side, squeezing her waist. “Are you okay?” he asked softly, head tilted close to hers.
“Fine,” she said, her smile so fake he must’ve known she was forcing it. “I just have a migraine and need to rest.”
His hesitant nod indicated he was suspicious, but she was too exhausted to care. Sliding into the rideshare, they rode back to the hotel.
Chapter 27
Lainey was sitting at the round table in her hotel room computing equations when a knock sounded on her door. If they were going to travel to the future as well as the past, she needed to figure out the math and figure it out fast. It was an almost insurmountable task, and she didn’t have Zach or Claire to help her, so their entire future rested on her brain, which was currently experiencing dull pulses from her never-ending headache.
She approached the door, already knowing she’d find Hunter on the other side. He breezed through as if he owned the place, stirring her ire.
Arching a brow, she asked, “Can I help you with something?”
He glanced at the scattered papers lying across the table. “You’re getting an early start on the equations.”
“Yes,” she said, shrugging. “We don’t have time to waste.”
He studied her, his expression wary. “It’s after nine o’clock, Lainey, and it’s been an…eventful day, to say the least. I think you should cool it with the equations for now—I can tell you have a migraine. I’d like to help you with it, if I can.”
Lainey sighed, feeling drained. “Thanks, but I’m good. I’m going to finish up what I was working on and head to bed.”
Anger flashed in his eyes, and her body tensed, ready for a fight. For some reason, she wanted him mad, out of control, so she could send him away and crawl into a hole of nothingness where she would be numb. For a practical scientist, experiencing the wide gamut of emotions she’d felt lately was maddening.
“I’ve been a soldier for a long time, Lainey,” Hunter said, the words piercing the silence. “One of the first things they teach you is to create tension between your opposing battalion’s members. It’s psychological warfare 101.” Taking a step toward her, he continued. “You’re the smartest person I’ve ever known, but you see things in black and white. It makes sense because that’s how Lewis raised you. But I assure you that you are quite capable of loving someone and saving the world, and I know you understand that deep inside. You need to take a deep breath and let Victor’s words go. They’re toxic, and if you’re not careful, you’ll give him exactly what he wants.”
Every single word he spoke was true, but Lainey couldn’t bring herself to believe them. It broke something within her because her practical side knew she was being irrational, but emotion was overwhelming her. It was so unlike Lainey that she felt unbalanced, like a caged animal desperately wanting to escape. It was embarrassing, but she couldn’t muster the will to control it.
“I don’t want to argue with you, Hunter,” she said, rubbing the space between her eyebrows with the pads of her fingers. “Meeting you has overturned every belief I ever had about myself. Every justification for why I was put here…for why I exist at all. The truth is, I’m not capable of loving you like Kara did, and that’s extremely unfair to you. I don’t believe in romantic love. I really enjoyed having sex with you, but that’s all I can give.”
He sighed, head drooping as he rested his hands on his hips. “Goddammit,” he muttered. “That son of a bitch. He knew exactly how to manipulate you. I should’ve foreseen it.”
“He was right!” she said, fury coursing through her at his dismissal of her justification for him to leave. “I have one goal. I always have. You’ve known this all along.”
“What do you want from me, Lainey?”
She studied him, the heart she’d convinced herself was wooden and incapable of love splintering in her chest. “I think I just need some space.”
His head lifted, and those gorgeous eyes darted over her face. “Fine,” he said, shaking his head, “I’ll give you space.” Closing the distance between them, he stood before her, only inches separating them. Reaching up, he brushed a tendril from her temple that had escaped from the bun on her head.
“I keep telling myself, I’ve had years to fall for you, but you’ve only had weeks. It’s hard, because I’m not a man who likes to wait. When I identify something I want, or something I need as desperately as I need you, I usually seize it with every ounce of will I possess.” His hand cupped her cheek, turning her face toward his since he stood to her side. “But I need you to hear this, Lainey. I deserve to be with someone who is strong enough to love me back. Do you think this is the last time someone will try to manipulate us against each other? If I was the enemy, I would do everything to ensure we hated each other. It’s a smart play on their part.”
Lainey swallowed thickly, absorbing his words.
“We have to rise above that. Otherwise, we’re no better than they are. Animals who believe in the worst humanity has to offer. I know we can do better, Lainey. Don’t let them win.” He brushed a kiss across her lips, soft and full of promise. “You need to decide if you want me as your partner in every sense of the word, or if you just want me as a member of your team. I’ll accept either verdict, but I won’t live my life straddling a line where you continually deny what we have is real, that it isn’t just as important as your goddamned mission. I’m someone who loves with my entire soul, and that requires a firm commitment. I know you can give me that. The question is, are you willing to?” Releasing her face, he left the room, the door sounding an ominous thump behind him.
Exhausted, Lainey collapsed on the bed, wondering what the hell she was going to do.
* * * *
Lainey threw herself into rebuilding the Sphere, working long nights with Nelson and performing equations by day. Hunter and Luke were tasked with surveilling the nuclear plant thirty miles outside of Washington D.C., in Eastern Virginia. Eventually, they would pilfer one of the spent nuclear fuel rods to power the Sphere with the jolt of nuclear energy it needed to function. Since it was highly reactive, Lainey would ensure they had proper protective suits, and she worked with Nelson to build a protective zirconium casing that would house the rod in the Sphere.
They found a small, two-bedroom apartment near the university and rented it, although Lorna offered to let them live at the townhome. Lainey felt that would put her and Nelson in too much danger, and she also wanted the visibility of staying in a busy place. She believed the New Establishment wouldn’t be bold enough to attack her in front of multiple onlookers, although she was always on high-alert. Hunter performed a sweep of her room every morning when she returned from the lab, checking for bugs and securing the windows. From the corner of her eye, she would watch him while she muddled through equations, longing to get lost in his arms again. But she didn’t allow herself to cave, reminding herself over and over that she had a job to do. One job, and it didn’t include getting tangled up with a man who would distract her from her purpose and who deserved so much better than she could offer.
After a few weeks, the Sphere was coming along nicely. The underground lab had been abandoned years ago when the building was remodeled, and not even the janitor or maintenance crew entered the secluded wing. Nelson had added extra locks to the door and held the only keys. For now, they were secure.
Lainey returned home one morning to find Hunter in her room.
“Hey,” he said, his hand tracing the window frame. “Just finishing a security check. Everything’s good.”
A wave of sadne
ss overtook her, and longing swelled so deeply in her chest she couldn’t resist. Approaching him, she slid her arms around his waist as he faced the window. Stiffening, he lowered his hands, placing them over hers atop his abdomen.
“I miss you,” she whispered, forehead pressed between his shoulder blades.
He turned, hands cupping the back of her head. Tilting her face toward his, he gave her a sad smile. “I’ve given up on trying to understand why you’re punishing both of us, Lainey. I just figured you’d come to me when you were ready.”
Her gaze drilled into his. “I tried loving someone once. It was a fucking disaster. It almost crumbled everything my father worked so hard to build.”
The corner of his lip curled. “That bad?”
She breathed a laugh. “Full-on catastrophe.”
“I’d love to hear what happened, if you’re open to telling me.”
“Okay,” she said. Reaching for his hand, she led him to the bed.
Lainey slid over the mattress and plopped up the pillow, leaning her back against it. Hunter did the same, placing his arm around her shoulders. She rested her head in the crook of his neck, overcome with joy at being in his embrace once more.
Inhaling a deep breath, she began recounting the story, all the way through to its heartbreaking conclusion…
“You’re so fucking pathetic, Lainey. What an incredible waste of time.”
The hurtful words spurred something in her, and before she even comprehended the action, her hand connected with Dalton’s face. His eyes grew wide, angry breaths puffing from his lungs as he loomed over her.
“Touch me again, and I’ll kill you,” he murmured, the tone of his voice murderous.
“You’re such a child,” she said, hating that she’d given herself to him so freely. “There are things in this world bigger than you, Dalton. Bigger than us! Don’t you understand?”
“Nothing is bigger than what I plan to accomplish. I’m closer than ever to infiltrating the New Establishment. If that bastard Eli Hernandez can find his way to power, so can I. And I’ll be a merciful leader, loved by all. That’s bigger than anything your small mind can imagine.”
She scoffed. “You have no idea who I am.” Pointing her finger in his face, she spat, “What I was born to accomplish!”
Dalton grabbed her finger, his other hand encircling her neck. “Is that so?” he asked, his fingers tightening.
Lainey struggled, her hand tugging at his grip as she fought to breathe. Suddenly, a gun cocked.
“Let her go, or I’ll shoot,” Cyrus’s baritone said in the darkness. “You have two seconds.”
Dalton froze, his fingers slowly uncurling from Lainey’s throat. In that moment, she realized how stupid and selfish she’d been. She’d jeopardized their entire mission, and for what? The opportunity to experience sex? The ability to have something that was hers? Feeling like the child she’d accused Dalton of being, she quietly thanked Cyrus.
He nodded, pulling the restraints from his belt with his free hand. They walked back to the hub in silence, Dalton following behind them, bound and constricted. When they reached the hub, dawn was flirting with the treetops.
“Go inside and get Lewis,” Cyrus commanded.
Nodding, Lainey went inside and woke her father. He was livid, of course, but knew there was no time to waste on anger. They decided the best course was to turn Dalton over to the Old Rebellion and inform them of his aspirations to infiltrate the New Establishment and seize control for his own objectives.
Once Cyrus began the trek to the Old Rebellion camp, Dalton in tow, Lewis turned to Lainey, placing his hands on her shoulders. “This is the last time you keep secrets from me, Lainey,” he said. “I expected better from you.”
“I know,” she said, drowning in the disappointment and anger in his gaze. “We can’t keep secrets from each other. You would never do that to me.”
Something flashed across his face, spiking her curiosity.
“Dad?” she asked, wondering if he had his own confidences he hadn’t divulged. “Whatever it is, you can tell me. I swear, I’ll never keep anything from you again. I’ve learned my lesson. My focus is on our work and what you and Mom created me for. I promise. No more distractions.”
His expression was impassive. “Okay, sweetheart,” he said, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. “Let’s move on. After Marie makes breakfast, we’ll test the new equations.”
Lainey headed inside her home with her father, the person she revered above all others, determined to make him proud, no matter that it denied her the things others craved. Saving humanity was a noble sacrifice, and she was more resolute than ever.
“Of course, I realize now, he had so many secrets he never told me,” Lainey said. “This was only a few years before he sought you out.”
“And what happened to Dalton?” Hunter asked.
Lainey shook her head, the motion solemn. “Sadly, he never made it to the Old Rebellion encampment near Solera.”
“Why?” Hunter asked.
Sighing, she clenched her eyes shut at the dreadful memories. “About a mile into the journey, Dalton tried to attack Cyrus, even though he was bound, and Cyrus is so massive. It was a terrible decision.” She shook her head. “Cyrus struggled with him, and somehow, Dalton managed to grab the knife from his belt. Cyrus had no choice. He drew his gun and shot him.”
Hunter exhaled a deep breath. “Wow.”
“Yeah,” she said, her chin trembling. “Even though things had gone so wrong between us, I didn’t want him to die. Cyrus brought the body back, and we held a funeral for him. Cyrus was a wreck for weeks. He’s a hardened soldier but he’s no murderer. He beat himself up for shooting for the heart instead of just wounding him in the leg. In the heat of the moment, sometimes, your basic survival instincts take over. I think he still carries so much guilt, even today. And it’s all my fault.”
“What are you talking about?” Hunter said, sliding a hand over her hair.
She lifted glistening eyes to his. “I knew better. I wasn’t put here to experience clandestine love and stolen kisses. I was put here to save the world. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I got the fucking message.”
“Hey,” he said, eyebrows drawing together. “That’s an intense story. I get why you’re torn up about what happened, but does it mean you have to close yourself off from the possibility of ever trying to love someone again?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “It reaffirmed everything I already knew. I have to stay focused on my goal.”
His eyes darted over her face as he studied her. “Is it possible for you to think, for just a moment, that you weren’t meant to do this alone? That everything happened for a reason? Lewis recruited me knowing who I was and that I would dedicate myself to helping you succeed. I also believe he recruited me because he understood he’d instilled this belief in you that your sole purpose was to save everyone else. Maybe he wanted me to relieve you of that accession, Lainey. It’s not serving you anymore. You need to let it go.”
Her shoulders lifted in a poignant shrug. “I don’t know how.”
Compassion marred his expression as his gaze roamed her face. Breathing her name, he slid his hand to cup her head and lowered his lips to hers. She sought them like a thirsty desert traveler seeks water, and opened to let him in. Wrapping her arms around him, she pulled him in, her back lowering to lie on the bed. His wet tongue swept every inch of her mouth as he grabbed the hem of her shirt, divesting her of the garment before unclasping her bra and tossing it aside.
His mouth lowered to her breast, devouring it, as she tugged the shirt from his chest. Eager hands fumbled with his belt, unclasping it and pushing his pants down while he struggled to maintain contact with her breast.
Lainey tore the button of her jeans free, huffing in frustration as she tried to maneuver them off her legs.
“Let me take these off, sweetheart,” Hunter said, straightening. He removed the rest of his clothes then shimmied off her
sneakers and tugged the jeans from her legs. With eyes full of desire, he placed his palm between her breasts, sliding it down her abdomen, across her navel, to rest above the small thatch of hair at the juncture of her thighs.
“Beautiful,” he whispered, the reverence in his tone breaking something inside her. Perhaps it was the long-held notion she was incapable of love. Perhaps it was the wall that encased her innermost fears. Whatever it was, she felt shattered as he breathed heavily above her.
Grasping the hem of her panties, he drew them off her legs. Lowering beside the bed, he grabbed the backs of her knees and glided her toward him. There was no buildup this time, no space for lingering kisses and whispered words. Instead, he draped her legs over his shoulders and buried his face in her wetness.
Lainey moaned, overcome with pleasure, as his tongue began a series of long, thorough strokes from her opening to her clit and back again. Over and over, he tasted her, causing her body to quiver atop the mattress. With his fingers, he spread her swollen folds apart, allowing him greater access. Spearing his tongue inside her, he lavished her with intimate, loving strokes. Lainey had never been so open with anyone. It was terrifying and thrilling all at once.
She thrust her fingers into his hair, pulling him deeper into her, his resulting growl proving he reveled in the action. His strong jaw worked his mouth over her, resulting in pleasure on levels she didn’t even know existed. Focusing on her clit, he began a maddening sequence of different sensations, flicking the tip of his tongue over the nub then sucking it between his strong lips, then lathering it slow and languidly. Feeling her body tense, she opened her eyes, staring into his.
He bore into her, those magnificent eyes locked onto hers, as he licked and sucked her most sensitive spot. Never had she seen desire burn as it burned in his gorgeous eyes. Unable to look away, she mewled, taken with the image of his masterful tongue flicking her repeatedly. Every inch of her skin was flushed, and she clutched his hair tighter.
His eyes pled with her, begging her to come, and finally, she snapped, her body bowing as the dam of her arousal broke wide open. She called his name, his face buried in her core, bucking against his torturous mouth. Wave upon wave of pleasure threatened to drown her as she gasped for air, her lungs straining beside her pounding heart.
A Paradox of Fates Page 22
