by Marie Medina
But the Fen’s eyes snapped open, and he rose immediately and came down to Owen. “See? I promised I’d come back.”
Owen threw his arms around the man and pressed close. “What happened?”
“Come sit down,” Ryden said, pulling away and leading him up to the porch.
Owen hesitated a moment before allowing it, not even trying to hide his worry as they sat on the bench by the front door. “What happened?” he asked again.
“I tried to confess freely and accept exile. Harald wouldn’t even discuss it. They had plans for me, and I refused once again. Rafe was hostile, and Harald said things about you that made me want to kill him.”
Owen tensed as Ryden went silent. Why is he pausing? What is he about to tell me? He swallowed and asked, “And did you?”
“No. It would have been the best and safest option, but I knew it would upset you. I don’t want to be a killer in your eyes, though I can’t erase my past. I’ve killed many men in my time.”
“I don’t care about that. What happened next? How are you back here so quickly? I’m glad, but the look on your face worries me.”
“I denounced Harald. One week from today, I will face three challenges. Two on my own, tests of my magical abilities administered by the elders to prove my worthiness, and the final one will be combat against Harald for his position as clan leader.”
Owen closed his eyes and shook his head. “I told you to forget what I said.” He felt tears prick the backs of his eyes, and he looked at Ryden, clutching at his hands. “I asked you not to.”
Ryden’s eyes seemed to show some remorse, but Owen couldn’t be sure. “I went there with the intention of honoring your wishes. But what if this is what the gods want? I don’t want to be clan leader and didn’t want a mate of any kind. But they handpicked you at just this moment in time. I found you plain and annoying and basically ran from you more than once.”
Owen let go of Ryden’s hands and turned away. “Maybe I should’ve listened.”
Ryden took him by the chin and made him look back, and at the same time, he ran his other hand over Owen’s stomach. “You’re mine. Forever. You said it yourself. And you may carry my child. I looked down on you, and I’m sorry. You’re fierce and passionate despite your size and lack of strength. And now that I know you better, I see all your good qualities in your eyes. In everything you say and do. Fate did well in picking someone I never would’ve looked twice at. I want to fight so others can find their mates.”
Owen blinked, not sure he understood. “What do you mean?”
Ryden sighed heavily. “Under the current regime, we’re not allowed to mate outside of the clan. It’s not stated so plainly, but everyone knows it. Another reason fated matehood is devalued. Most of my people never find their fated mates—we’re discouraged from looking outside our own borders. Most of them are probably elsewhere, among the fae or shifters or humans. Protecting our bloodlines is leading to our extinction. Perhaps the gods want to end that.”
“All this because of what I said? You didn’t say things like this before.”
“But I’ve been thinking them.” He ran one finger over Owen’s cheek. “We haven’t really had much time to talk.”
“You can’t withdraw the challenge?”
Ryden shook his head. “If I do, Harald could have me executed. And given how angry I made him, he probably would. I’d be considered too much of a risk.”
Owen began to shake. “How can you sit there so calmly?”
“I’m not calm at all, little one. Just good at appearing that way.” Ryden reached over and lifted Owen, drawing him onto his lap. “Yell at me if you must. Punch me. Scream and call me names. I don’t care. Whatever makes you feel better.”
“I’d feel better if we could go back in time.”
Ryden stiffened. “You don’t want me anymore? Because of this?”
Owen shook his head before resting it against Ryden’s chest. “I don’t know what I mean. I feel like everything is my fault. You’re right. I did throw your entire life into chaos.”
“But chaos can be beautiful.” Ryden caressed his hair. “I’m going to win. Then we will both be safe. And so will our child.”
Beautiful? Was Gregor right? Does he feel more for me than just obligation? More than just the lust my heat inspired? “I might not be pregnant.”
“Maybe not now. But soon.”
Owen looked up at Ryden. “You’re really thinking of sex right now?” Losing himself in the other man might be nice, yet he felt too overwrought for such thoughts, or actions.
“No, but you’re my mate. Were you planning to keep me from your bed?”
“No.”
“Then there will be a child soon. Especially if your sweet body keeps causing me to knot you.”
Owen traced his fingers over Ryden’s chest. “I see the way to your heart was through the bedroom.” He didn’t mean it as a test, but he wanted Ryden to say more. And if he was honest with himself, he wanted Ryden to say more things like the declarations he’d made before he left earlier. Hearing them again would make it all more real for him, and maybe it would even help him feel more certain. He admired Ryden, but he knew nothing of the clan leader and simply couldn’t inspire Ryden’s level of confidence in himself.
“It was more than that, and you know it.” His hand wandered along Owen’s side and down to his hip. “I’ve never felt many emotions during sex. Being with you is different. Overwhelming.”
“Overwhelming?” I don’t get it, but I like the sound of it.
Ryden’s grip on his hip tightened. “Yes. It’s a blur of intoxicating sensations instead of a series of thought out acts to achieve pleasure.”
“That’s what it was like with others?”
“Well, it wasn’t as cold as that, but it was all about physical pleasure. There was no emotional connection.”
Owen thought back to the words they’d said, and the way they’d looked into each other’s eyes as Ryden claimed him. “Intoxicating sensations, huh?” He tilted his head back to look up.
“Yes. You find that flattering?”
“Hmmm.” Owen rested his head against Ryden’s chest again. He closed his eyes and tried to settle his mind. Being held by the Fen had calmed his body, at least.
“Will you show me our new home?” Ryden asked after a few minutes.
Owen drew back and got to his feet. “My place is pretty small.”
“Nothing wrong with that. I don’t have many possessions. But if it’s too small we’ll buy or build a new one. Anything you want.”
“And if—when you win this challenge?” Maybe if he acted confidently, and spoke confidently, the feeling would really come to him.
“We could live there, but we don’t have to.”
“Wouldn’t they want you to?”
Ryden stood and drew Owen to him. “No one will object to anything I do because I’m actually going to help them. Make their lives better. It may take years, but with your support I think I can do it. Besides, I’d only be one portal jump away.”
“Oh yeah. Still getting used to that.”
Ryden caressed his cheek again. “My home is with you. We’ll get it all figured out in time.”
Owen swallowed, his eyes watering again. He blinked the tears back, not sure why they were coming his time.
“What is it, little one?” Ryden drew him close, concern on his face.
“Gregor said I’d caused quite a change in you. Seems maybe he was right.”
Ryden actually laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“It’s absolutely adorable that you needed someone else to convince you of that,” Ryden said before pulling Owen into a breath-stealing kiss.
****
Ryden’s eyes opened before the sun rose, and once they had adjusted to the dark room, he found himself looking at the top of his mate’s head. Ryden had spent the second half of the previous day trying to reassure and calm his new mate. They’d toured the pac
k lands, and he’d met many people. But the entire time, his mate had seemed anxious. After watching Owen pick at his dinner for ten minutes, Ryden had scooped him up and taken him to bed, where they’d enjoyed several frenzied couplings. His mate had slept fitfully, frequently reaching out or murmuring in his sleep. Ryden didn’t dare move now, as he sensed Owen was finally sleeping peacefully.
He tightened his grip a little and enjoyed his mate’s scent—evergreens and fresh snow. The scent had him smiling as he wondered what he smelled like to Owen. He also wondered if his first two challenges would have anything to do with Owen. He’d heard of that happening before. The elders would be the ones to devise them, and he knew Fendal and Rafe would want them to be as difficult as possible. In school, he’d read about many of the past challenges. Some were simple, like figuring out what kind of enchantment was keeping a box sealed. Some were much trickier. Centuries ago, the early challenges had often involved quests, but that practice had fallen out of favor because it prolonged the process. So much could happen when the clan was left in limbo for several months.
What will they expect of me? A task to demonstrate my control? My wisdom? Could I be asked to break into another’s mind? Will they delve into mine? And what will they find if they do? Even I’m not sure what’s going on in there these days.
All of those things and more were possibilities. He sighed heavily and rested his cheek against Owen’s hair. Moments later, Owen stirred a bit, one hand running over Ryden’s chest and his body pressing closer. Ryden’s cock now rested against Owen’s thigh, and he tried not to react. Matters grew worse when Owen rubbed his face against Ryden’s chest, his breath hot as it came from between his soft lips, lips that were soon kissing his chest.
Ryden sighed as Owen’s mouth became more insistent. He tilted his mate’s head back and said, “I’m sorry I woke you. You need rest.”
But Owen brought their lips together. If his mate needed this, he’d gladly indulge with him, but he wanted Owen to know he was in this for more than these heated moments. He’d seen few fated pairs in his time, and now that the gods had led him to his own mate, he could more readily admit he’d always been jealous of those lucky few he’d known.
Ryden broke the kiss. “Owen, you must be sore. You were so desperate last night I got carried away.”
“I loved doing that to you,” Owen said, kissing his chest again. He grazed his teeth over one nipple and then moved up to bite Ryden’s shoulder, just hard enough to make him gasp.
“Gods, you do like to test limits,” Ryden said as he pinned his mate beneath him.
“You said you liked that I was fierce and passionate,” Owen said. He arched up and wrapped both arms around Ryden’s neck. “I feel less worried when you’re touching me.”
“We can’t spend the next six days in bed.”
“Why not?” Owen asked softly.
“I need to prepare. Train and practice. Study even. I have no idea what they’ll ask of me.”
Owen didn’t say anything. Instead, he tried to roll them again and flip their positions. Ryden raised one eyebrow at his mate, resisting at first to see how long he’d persist. When Owen didn’t give up, he relented and let Owen get on top of him. Owen moved down his body, stroking Ryden’s cock and then taking it into his mouth.
“I can take care of that myself,” Ryden said, even though he didn’t want Owen to stop.
Owen stopped long enough to say, “You’re never doing that again.” He licked the entire length. “Unless I ask you to.”
Ryden arched before settling in to enjoy Owen’s efforts. He tried to hold back, but he came before too long, shuddering as he tangled one hand in Owen’s short hair. Owen inched up his body, and Ryden reached for his mate’s cock, only to find it flaccid.
Owen smiled at him. “I am a bit worn out. In that way. Will you go for a run with me?”
“Won’t we wake people? The sun isn’t even up yet.”
“No. Lots of people get up early to shift and run in the woods. And we have a lot of pack members who work in the human world and have long drives. We won’t bother anyone.”
“I’d love to run with your wolf, if you think it’s all right. I mean, I’m huge. I don’t want anyone frightened.”
“Everyone knows about you by now, I’m sure.”
Ryden studied his mate a moment. “Your friends all seem happy for you but reserved. Are they afraid I’ll hurt you?”
“You’re different. Everyone’s adjusting. Having Jared and Dane here has helped a lot, but there’s still a lot for everyone to learn.”
“Word has likely spread to the fae court by now. The king and Vadik will probably come back from their honeymoon early.”
“Could the king help you?”
“Probably not. I know more about potential challenges than he could. The ability to use magic, and how powerful you are, is half genetics and natural gifts and half practice and study. He could pass on some knowledge, but who knows if it would help? What I want from him is protection for you.”
“For me?”
“Yes. I like your Alpha, but if the king returns, I want you to stay with him and Vadik while I’m facing the challenges. I’ll feel better knowing you’re safe.”
Owen frowned. “Why do I need to be safe if you’re so sure you’re going to win?”
“I’ll be less distracted. I don’t want to argue.”
“Am I not allowed my own opinions and thoughts and worries?”
“Of course you are, but what’s the point of making yourself sick with worry and fear?” He caressed Owen’s face. “I can feel all of your emotions. And you could barely eat last night.”
“Do my emotions affect you? Hurt you?”
“Yes, they affect me, but it’s not about me. I’ll be fine. But the entirety of my being is focused on you. Comforting you and protecting you.”
“The entirety of your being?” Owen said with a slight smile.
He felt a hint of playfulness from his mate. “You repeat things I say a lot. Do you doubt me, or are you going to joke about the way I talk? I refuse to apologize for not being up on every bit of slang or nuance of language from the last five damn minutes.”
“I like the way you talk. I repeat things because I’m still a bit stunned. I’m so glad I didn’t let you walk away, no matter how scared I am now.”
“Please don’t be afraid, little one. I may be delusional, but you insisted the fates knew what they were doing. If this whirlwind we’re caught up in actually drops us where I think it will, you and I will literally change fae history. Though we’ve always slept with anyone we wanted to, the Sons of Fenrir have never had a leader who was mated to a man. Most certainly not a non-fae. And the first laws I intend to change are old ones. It may all have to be gradual, but…” He trailed off as he caressed Owen’s face again.
“May I make a request? About the first thing you do?”
“You may. My first action should be formally mating you with proper Fen vows, but let’s hear your proposal.”
“No more executions. Ever. Get rid of the position.”
The emotions swirling in Owen’s eyes made Ryden pull him closer and kiss his temple. “I was agitated when I said what I said the other morning. Please don’t distress yourself. I didn’t like executing people, but honestly? I never disagreed with the elders. I thought each man deserved death. I’m not ashamed of what I did as executioner any more than I am of the deaths I caused in actual battles.”
Owen’s expression hardened. “Let’s get something straight. I’m my own person, so you better fucking stop telling me not to care about you. I’ll worry and fret and whatever the hell else I want to do for the rest of our days. All right?”
“All right.” Ryden couldn’t help smiling as he said, “Owen, you’re going to get me hard again if you keep this up.”
Owen rolled his eyes, yet he laughed. “Glad you like me this way.” He got out of bed and stretched. “I can see I’m going to have to work hard to keep
you in line.”
“Keep me in line?”
“Yes. I’m not going to let you boss me around.”
Well, you’ve certainly gotten over being afraid of me, I see. “I don’t recall saying I intended to do anything of the kind.”
“You didn’t have to. You think you know best. It’s obvious.”
“I’m older and more experienced. It’s likely I do know what’s best most of the time.”
Owen grabbed his hand and pulled him out of bed. “Come on. Run with me.”
They left through the back door and shifted on the grass, just as the sun came over the horizon. Owen came over and nuzzled him, and then he bounded off for the woods. Ryden went after him, taking in the new smells and sounds but never taking his gaze off his mate.
****
Two Days Later
Owen looked up from his book again. Ryden had been sparring with Erik, the captain of the fae king’s guards, for two hours now. Many people had gathered to watch. A few fae had talked to Owen briefly, but it seemed they all sensed he wasn’t in the mood for small talk. He’d been reading off and on while watching and also listening to others assessing Ryden’s abilities.
A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he yet again heard someone praising his mate. Ryden seemed equally matched to Erik in terms of skill, but he moved with much more fluidity and grace. At times, he was also quicker. If they hadn’t been using practice weapons, Erik would’ve sustained several minor injuries by now.
The men changed weapons again, casting down the wooden swords in favor of long staffs. Owen frowned as he thought about the fact he’d never held a weapon of any kind his entire life. He doubted his pocketknife counted. In Ryden’s world, he would be seen as weak and inferior in lots of ways. Would the other Fens respect him or simply tolerate him? He didn’t want to let his mate down, but the expectations that would fall on Owen were starting to become more of a reality. His Alpha’s mate, Jared, had stayed on the sidelines for the first month or so, but he’d soon adjusted to life with the pack and found his place in the order of things. Vadik had only been married to the fae king a few days, but he’d been living in their court for weeks before that. Owen wished the older man were here so he could ask him how he’d been adjusting. The fae court seemed far less daunting than the snowy world the Sons of Fenrir lived in.
