The drive to Eli’s was long and full of winding roads, giving me too much time to think. When I pulled through the front gates leading to the few houses in the expensive development, my mind was fuzzy like cotton. Whitaker Estate overlooked all of Cannon Cove along with a small cluster of mansions halfway down the hill. Jonathan and Crystal Whitaker’s blaring symbolism wasn’t lost on me. Just like their property being perched high and mighty above everything else, Eli’s parents peered down on every person in the whole town.
I pulled up along the curb a whopping ten minutes before my arrival deadline. Take that, Paige. Glancing at the circular driveway, I shuddered. Getting blocked in would compare to a date with Taxidermy Teddy or Hairy Barry. Not happening.
A loud moo sounded from the cupholder.
I picked up my phone and saw Roxy’s name illuminating the screen. The girl knew me well, upping the ante. She’d raised my silent treatment to a legit phone call.
The noisy cow always sounded extra distressed on the third ring, so I gave in before it screeched. “Hey,” I said, pulling the keys from the ignition.
“You read my texts but didn’t respond.”
“You’re astute, detective.” I leaned back in the leather seat, taking immediate control of the conversation. Asking about her trip would remove me from the spotlight. “How’s Maui?”
“It sucks,” she replied. “I hate it here.”
“Seriously?” I pushed oversized sunglasses up past my forehead and into my hair.
“Of course not! I never want to come home. But a better question is how are things there?”
Blaring spotlight found me. That bitch swung my direction like a wrecking ball. I brushed a thin layer of dust from the dashboard. “Oh, you know.”
“What now?” Roxy asked.
“Nothing.”
“Don’t lie to me. I’ve known you for too long to pass off a ‘nothing’ and have me fall for it. Something’s wrong.”
I sighed. “My mom set me up.”
“For murder?”
“No, but now I’m contemplating hers. For a date.”
“A date? Yes! I’m so on board!” she said excitedly. “With who?”
I groaned and made the name sound like three distinct sentences. “Theodore. Fauntleroy. Simpson.”
“Taxidermy Teddy?”
I quieted.
“Shut up!” Her explosive laughter sounded through the phone.
I pulled the cell a few inches away from my ear. “It’s not funny. You should’ve seen his armpit stains when he tried the yawn-and-reach.”
“Stop! My mascara’s gonna run… the laughing… it hurts.”
“I’ve had it,” I said, “with everything.”
“Chill. Go tell Teddy to stuff something else.”
“Too late. He already offered to stuff my beaver.”
“He didn’t!”
“Sure did. And Teddy’s the tip of the iceberg. I’m just over this whole wedding thing. I’m sick of Paige, I’m irritated with Iris and Cranston. Bo and I had a fight. Plus, there’s the crap with Miles…”
Laughter collapsed to silence. “I told you to stay away from him.”
“Pfft. You know Cranston and I aren’t tight.”
“Not your dad. Miles.”
“I’m not near him, warden,” I said.
“Good. Where are you then?” she asked.
“Eli’s driveway.”
“Not envious. Why?”
“Pool party. It’s on the ‘itinerary.’” I used air quotes Roxy couldn’t see, nervous with the thought of Paige being in possession of my dumb list. Since Annelies drilled the details in my head a while back, I’d remembered when to show up at Eli’s. Unfortunately. “It’s a ‘thank you’ to the wedding party for participating in the spectacular event, but it feels more like a ‘fuck you.’ Couldn’t they give a consolation prize instead of forcing us to spend more time together? That’s torture.” I glanced at the massive house in front of me, dreading the moment I walked inside. I’d been there a few times, but the Whitakers had a special way of making anyone feel worthless who didn’t share their last name. Everything about the property gave off a frigid undertone.
“You regret turning Maui down now.”
“I’m not sure if that’s a question or a statement,” I replied, “so I’m not warranting it with a response.”
“Yes to both,” Roxy said. “It’ll all be over soon. Eli and Anal Eyes will fly off on her broomstick. Wait! Maybe the US will refuse them reentry after their Mexico honeymoon. Even better! Mess with their passports, so they can’t come back!”
“I’m not aiming for any fraud charges on my record.” I was done with the subject. “Rox, I gotta go. I don’t want to be chastised for being late again. Paige is keeping tabs on me under a magnifying glass. Now that I think about it, maybe she’s trying to burn me like an ant in the sun. Either way, she’ll have a shit fit if I’m not on time for the party.”
“More like the anti-party. And good luck,” Roxy said. “Call me after and tell me if she squishes you with her Gucci sandals?”
“Yep. I’ll catch you up on the anti-party antics.” I hung up the phone before she could comment on my humor. Three pep talks later, I’d coaxed myself up to the doorstep. Miles’s gray truck still wasn’t in view, and I didn’t want to walk in alongside Mr. Dime Tipper. Doing that during the wedding would be bad enough. Who knew? Maybe he wouldn’t show and my day could be salvaged.
“Come on. Come on. Come on,” I chanted at the doorway with a slight bounce in my knees, awaiting someone to answer.
The oversized door finally swung open, and Adelaide appeared on the other side. “Miss Jade! It’s been a while. Nice to see you.”
Adelaide Hendrix smiled, the only sign of warmth on the grounds. That said something, considering her appearance. She wore a black, knee-length housekeeping dress with white buttons and sensible shoes. Her platinum hair was wound into a severe bun, making her forehead appear exceptionally taut. Pink lipstick stood out against her complexion and blue eyes.
Addie’s grandfather was Dr. Collins. We’d chatted a few times when our paths crossed at the PT office, and while I preferred Isolation Island to remain remote, Addie almost felt like a friend. Almost.
“Hi, Addie. Don’t be formal on my behalf.” I rushed through the doorway, nearly knocking her to the ground.
“In a hurry to see everyone?” She arched an eyebrow. “Doesn’t seem like you.”
Hardly. “Sorry.” I noticed my pace and slowed down. “Just don’t want to be late.”
I stared at what I called Sterility Manor. Gray floor. Gray rugs. Gray furniture. Gray walls. Gray statues. Nothing had changed. Even with the bright lighting, it evoked a gloomy mood as if a vampire drained all life from the place. There weren’t any personal touches or photos on the walls and no sign anyone actually lived in the space. My flip-flops echoed through the long corridor as I followed Addie to French doors leading to the back patio.
A waterfall connected a hot tub to two consecutive oval-shaped pools. To the right, there was a giant slide and a mountain of inflatable toys. A thick cement pathway nearly split the larger pool in two with a firepit at the end. Without seeing the receipts, I knew the water features cost three times the amount of my modest house.
Bo and Eli were at the wet bar, deeply absorbed in a game of beer pong and oblivious to my entrance. Sienna sat on a nearby chaise lounge, fiddling with a camera lens. Her cell sat precariously perched between her ear and shoulder. Annelies’s younger sister, Lissy, was alone at the far end of the pool on another chaise, sunbathing on her stomach. The strings of her untied bikini top dangled to the ground, her skin glistening under a generous coating of baby oil.
Thank goodness. Miles wasn’t in sight.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” Addie said, “I present Miss Jade Nash.”
I bit the inside of my cheek, and my face tingled at the unnecessary introduction. Let the discomfort games begin.
Despite my recent trend of being late, I had a rule about showing up for parties. If I arrived before everyone else, I could be the scrutinizer and not the scrutinize-ee. My timing needed work.
I walked toward an empty table and set my tote bag down before kicking off my flip-flops near a grouping of two chairs. Annelies and Paige floated on matching magenta innertubes, wearing identical bikinis and sunglasses, holding complementary, pink-colored drinks. It didn’t go unnoticed Paige’s right ankle crossed over Annelies’s left so they wouldn’t drift apart.
Sienna roughly set down the camera lens, her phone conversation becoming strict. “Knock it off. All you do is break promises,” she muttered, pushing her triangular-shaped sunglasses farther up the bridge of her nose. “What do you mean you’re in the driveway? Listen up, you tone-deaf cock knob. Don’t leave me alone to deal with the mess you made.” The angle of her face tilted upward a few degrees in my direction, and she mustered a faint, “Yep.” A pause. “And if you don’t bring your sad insecuriority complex back here right now, I’ll make sure you can’t—”
I forced myself to look away, afraid I’d be accused of eavesdropping again.
Leaving sounded like a phenomenal idea. Similar to being at Iris’s, I was cornered like an animal. But there were fewer beaver innuendoes and goat statues. Everyone out back would notice if I bolted. Miles sat in the driveway, so an escape through the side gate wasn’t an option. Getting past Addie to the front door wouldn’t go undetected, either. Last I checked, I couldn’t scale a four-story house. Why didn’t I go to Maui with Roxy?
Addie tapped me on the shoulder and I yipped. “Miss Jade, would you like something to drink? The girls in the pool are having pink lemonade vodkas.”
“Err… sure.” I need alcohol to endure this day.
And that fact was about to cement itself.
Because not only did I remember I didn’t drink, but Miles walked across the lawn from around the side of the house. I was willing to bet I felt as uncomfortable as his face looked. He wore faded jeans, a white t-shirt, and an unbuttoned blue flannel with the sleeves rolled up.
“Hey, Addie? I’ll grab a bottle of water from the cooler,” I said from across the patio. Having her fetch me anything didn’t feel right, even if the Whitakers employed her.
“Drink up,” Annelies said. “Cranston’s footing the bill. Open bar.”
Another conversation distracted me from replying with something I’d regret.
“It’s about time you grew a set, Seth.” Sienna shielded her eyes from the sun with her hand.
Miles flashed her a frown and bent over, whispering quietly.
“Quit causing a scene.” She narrowed her eyes and held up her camera. “You’re making me look fauxductive instead of productive.”
He turned toward everyone else and shrugged. “Sorry I was late. Didn’t wanna come.”
Sienna shot an apologetic glance toward Annelies with a half-laugh. “Sarcasm. It’s how he shows affection.”
“Set your stuff down over there and stick around!” Paige shouted from the pool, gesturing toward a small grouping of seats. Unfortunately, her glittering index finger pointed my direction. “The chef is preparing filet mignon for everyone in an hour.”
With reluctance in his gait, Miles walked over to where I sat— near the only open seat. We were alone. “You’re not decked out in Lousy Lime, Doc. Find that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?”
I tuned him out and focused on Sammy Hagar’s lyrics for Van Halen’s Right Now playing through the stereo speakers on the patio.
Annelies hoisted herself up the pool ladder, showcasing her tiny excuse for a bikini. She knew everyone watched while she shook her head, droplets of water flying as if it were some beach-based TV show. She walked over to where I sat and leaned against the corner of the table between Miles and I. “Hey. I have a boner to pick with you.”
I choked on a mouthful of water. “Excuse me?”
“Uh. Yeah, Jade. I got a call from Zoe down at The DA.”
The Dance Academy. I cringed. Here we go.
“She said you haven’t stopped in to learn the routine for the reception. The clock’s ticking.”
My shoulders sagged. I hated dancing, and a ballroom lesson added to my wedding misery. With Nate’s absence, I thought I’d cha-cha’d my way out of that situation. Wrong.
“I haven’t. I—”
Miles’s mouth twitched with amusement.
“What’s so funny?” Annelies asked. “You have to learn, too. It’s a long-standing tradition in my family for the MOH and best man to have a choreographed dance after the bride and groom.”
“Wait. A choreographed what?” Miles gave a sidelong glance of disbelief. “No way. Paige didn’t mention my name paired with dancing.”
I bit back my own laughter and crossed my arms. How do you like the steel-toed kick to the nut cannon, McCullough? But then I realized he and I had to dance…together. My dick mitten and his nut cannon sustained twinjuries.
“Actually. You know what?” Annelies clapped her hands. “Learning together works. Two stones. One bird. She mentioned an opening Saturday. It’s super last minute, so I hope you’re a fast learner and don’t have two left feet.”
Until that moment, the thought of being in such close proximity, outside of linking arms, with Miles hadn’t crossed my mind. No doubt my funeral march would coincide with Annelies walking down the aisle. To me, that seemed like a more appropriate use of the correct phrase, “Two birds. One stone.”
“I’ll text Zoe to cancel her other appointments for Saturday, and I’ll have her bill Cranston for the whole day,” Annelies said.
Cha-ching.
She continued, “Besides, my wedding is way more important than some old couple’s recurring waltz lesson.”
The snarl Miles flashed toward me conveyed his level of enthusiasm rivaled mine.
“I…” I began.
Bo called out to me from the pool’s edge.
Thank you, Bo!
His eyes flicked toward Miles and then back my way. Ecstatic to escape being the bread in a Miles and Annelies sandwich, I hurried over to my best friend. The safe zone. Even with how we’d left things the night before, I wanted to make amends.
“What’s up?” I asked, curling my toes over the edge of the pool.
“Nice dress, Nash. Lookin’ good.”
“Thanks.” I twirled in a circle. “Some jerk bought it for my birthday last year.”
“Damn, girl. You just got here, and you’re already callin’ me names?” He playfully clutched at his heart. “Savage.”
I took off my sunglasses. “Gotta take the plunge when I can.”
“Speaking of plunges, up for a swim?”
“Tempting. But I’m not feeling the whole water vibe,” I replied.
“It’s not like you to chicken out on taking a dip.”
“And here I am. Bock bock.” I flapped my arms slightly, bent at the elbows. “And I see what you did there. Chicken. Dip. Ha ha.” I swatted away memories of Karmin’s accidental, yet accurate, “chicken” comment from The Kraken.
“Bet I could outswim you to the other side and back.” It felt like old times with Bo, reminding me of our races across the street from the physical therapy office to our routine dinners on Wednesdays.
I folded my arms. “No doubt, Speedy Gonzalez.”
“That’s Speedy Rodriguez to you.” He winked and reached forward, knocking me off balance. “I’ll give you a head start.”
With a windmill-style arm swing and a waist bend, I wobbled and stopped myself from falli
ng into the water. “Nice try!” I flipped him the bird. “Don’t make me tell everyone about the time you—”
“What’s that?” He held one hand up to his ear and gave a second shove, one I didn’t expect while still trying to find my balance.
That hit tipped me cockeyed and into the pool, smacking the water with a full-bodied slap that’d likely leave a red mark. Cool water swilled around my gauzy summer dress as I drifted to the bottom with my limbs trailing behind. It took a few seconds to reorient myself before pushing off the ground to ascend. My head broke the surface to take in a massive breath. I pushed long panels of hair away from my forehead. “You’re gonna get it!” I fought off a smile, wiped water from my face, and swam toward the ladder.
“Promises, promises,” he said playfully, pretending to brush dirt from his hands.
And then the tone of the party got… weird.
Miles stormed toward Bo, that familiar look of aggression teeming in his eyes again. “Hey!” he ripped at the word impatiently.
“What now?” I asked.
“Not you.” He thundered past where I treaded water until he stood next to Bo.
Bo turned toward Miles. “What was it you said the other night? That’s right. I found your nose. It’s in my business. Butt out.”
Miles wasn’t impressed with Bo recycling his words.
“What?” Bo stretched his arms out wide. “You got a problem, McCullough?”
“I do,” Miles replied. “Water safety.”
Bo stared at him as if waiting for the punch line to a poorly executed joke. “Water. Safety.”
Miles’s chest heaved. Nope. Zero humor there.
“Simmer down, Seth!” Sienna snapped. “Less cowbell!”
“Are you for reals right now?” Bo asked with a belittling sniff. “Who are you? The pool police? Gonna cuff me with some arm floaties and haul me away in an innertube?”
Jade Page 14
