by Piper Rayne
The Little Adventurers concept was my way of doing something I loved. When I first started out I was scared and needed, and wanted Ben’s support. But it never came. I guess that I was successful because after Ben’s rejection of me, I didn’t want to be seen as a failure, yet again.
“You’ve become very successful Ivy and in a short space of time. You made it. You’re one of those people who did something with an innovative idea and rocked it,” she beams, but then the cautiousness comes back to her eyes. “You’re not a loser, never think that. Ben’s a jerk.”
I press my lips together and blow out a ragged breath. “He is a jerk. I can’t stand him. I never wanted to see him again. Ever. But not going to Rachel and Patrick’s wedding because of him would be childish. I can’t do that to them. They’ve been good friends to me.”
When I first set up business Patrick helped me with promotions. Like Rachel, he works in marketing, but his skills extend to advertising too. He helped me with my campaigns while Rachel helped me find this perfect location near the harbor.
I have the most amazing office. Situated in one of the old refurbished warehouses by the docks, my savvy, retro office gives me a great view of the gorgeous Chicago skyline without being in the heart of the city. Nearby is the hall with the accompanying grounds where I hold the parties.
Rachel and Patrick are the kind of friends who help you and want you to succeed. It’s not their fault I was with the wrong man. It’s not their fault I was in love with that loser.
Every time I think about what happened the answer of why it happened comes back to slap me. There’s no point in feeling sorry for yourself when you go through a bad break up with a man you knew you shouldn’t have been with.
“What are you worried about most?” Jenna asks, breaking my thoughts.
“I guess… feeling inadequate. He makes me feel bad about myself. I told you that his parting words were that I’d never find anyone better than him. As if he was the best thing that happened to me. He wasn’t, but he believes that.” I take a deep breath and exhale it slowly. “My career is a success but you know.” I shrug. “I don’t have a boyfriend. And I certainly don’t have a model to attend with.”
“Then go and be fabulous. Ivy, you’ve been invited to a wedding. A time to celebrate the marriage of the couple getting hitched, but also you should use this opportunity to put them in their places once and for all.” She waggled her eyebrows, in a knowing fashion.
“How am I going to do that?” My brow crinkled with interest. Obviously Jenna had ideas, I didn’t.
A smile teased her lips. “The only way to put that jerk in his place is to go there with a date and show him he’s nothing to you.” She flicks her hair over her shoulder, before a lift of her groomed eye-brow sky high.
“A date?” I gasp. Really? I roll my eyes with disbelief.
“Yes, a date.” She taps the side of her nose knowingly.
I frown, feeling the muscles in my neck clench with worry. “The wedding is next month. Next month. I won’t have a date because I’m not dating. I won’t have a plus one because I don’t have a plus one. And definitely not someone who I can take for a weekend.” I give her a false smile. “The only date I will score in such a short time is a paid one.” I fling at her, before pressing my lips together with skepticism.
She gives me an incredulous glare. “Woman, what is wrong with you? Are you for real right now? Look at you, you’re beautiful. You just aren’t dating because you choose not to date.” She pauses, and gives me a look from beneath hooded eyelids. “We both know there’s one guy who I’m sure would love to go with you.”
A feeling of disorientation overcomes me. God… she’s talking about Leo, my brother’s best friend. A man who is. . .off limits to me. That’s the best description I can give. I’m the older sister. I’m older by three years. Three years and we’re all just too close. I’m thirty-one and he’s twenty-eight. We grew up like family, after all, he’s my brother’s best friend.
“Oh Jenna…” My hand comes up to cover my mouth. “I can’t go down that road today,” I say with a dry mouth.
She crosses her arms and looks at me with defiance. “Ivy come on,” she says with a sharp tone. “It’s a good idea.”
She does know me and she knows that I’ve always had this thing for Leo. Okay, it’s more than a thing.
Leo and Corey have been friends since high school and I swear I’ve had feelings for Leo for that long too. That’s fifteen years. Fifteen!
“I don’t know if I can go there, Jenna.” I blink rapidly. Go with Leo? To a wedding? My mind races, as a fluttering in my tummy makes me unable to focus.
Glancing down at the shiny surface of the desk, I wonder for the billionth time if I could cross that line. It’s just a thought, like always.
A thought I have every time I see Leo, which is every Sunday when we all gather at my family home for dinner.
That’s how close we all are. He’s like a brother to me, but he isn’t. He’s a guy I’ve watched from afar, all the while trying to resist the attraction I feel when I’m with him.
Attraction and chemistry roil within me and come to life whenever I’m near him. Then I remember I can’t have him. Besides, aside from the whole off-limits aspect, I’ve always had some reason in my mind that stopped me from pursuing anything with him.
Leo is very successful. He comes from a wealthy family but he made a name for himself as a sports agent to the stars.
I’m proud of both him and Cory, but part of me just doesn’t feel like I measure up. They both pursued their talents and I wasn’t able to do that the way they did. When I didn’t get my scholarship there was a notable change in me. To most people it looked like I was a cop out. For me it was a blow that knocked me. I went to Brown University and continued with my business degree but not getting my scholarship changed my path.
Jenna reaches across the table and touches the back of my hand. The gesture interrupts my thoughts and I return my focus to my friend.
“Ivy, sweetie I think you’d feel better able to cope with Ben if you had a date for this wedding, and I think you should ask Leo.” She rivets her gaze to me.
“It’s a weekend event. We’d be there for the whole weekend, not one afternoon.” My head tilts to the side as I struggle to accept that he would attend with me. It’s not a local wedding, it’s an away wedding. . .where the guests stay overnight.
“That’s all the more perfect,” Jenna says with supreme confidence.
“Nooooooo.” My no trails out of my lips. “What if I spoil things, between us, by asking him?”
She flicks her wrist in the air with a pfft. “I doubt that will happen.” She leans across my desk and looks at me with confidence. “Think about this, in the next five years do you want to regret not asking him, and always wonder what could have happened if you did?” She gives me a pointed stare. “If you don’t ask him, someone else will.”
I think about things like that. . .a lot. It’s been my private fantasy to be with Leo.
Jenna continues, her eye contact unwavering. “I’m going to be real with you, Ivy. I wouldn’t be a friend if I didn’t give you some hard truths you might need to hear. Leo isn’t always going to be there. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I’ve seen the way you look at him. The worst kind of opportunity to miss out on is love. A chance at love. I think he likes you and I know you like him. A man like that isn’t just going to wait around forever though.”
Leo and I are friends, but I don’t know if he likes me more than that. The thought of being rejected by Leo is more crushing than Ben walking out on me after five years. Leo is that important to me.
I know Jenna’s right. I do. She’s more than right. But I don’t want to lose him by asking him on a date. What if he says no?
“What if he says yes?” Jenna chimes in.
“Stop reading my thoughts,” I chuckle.
“Your face is an open book, babe.” She pauses. “I know that the thing you h
ad for Leo didn’t diminish when you were with Ben.”
I gasp with incredulity. “You’re wrong.”
“You’re lying.” She points an accusatory finger at me. “Don’t lie to me or yourself.”
My head bows with shame. Even when I was with Ben, I never stopped thinking about Leo. If I can admit that to myself then maybe I should consider asking him to be my date. I bite my lip in confusion.
“I’ll. . .think about it,” I say slowly, still unable to believe I’ve just said that.
Jenna’s eyes twinkle with delight, in reply. “Really?”
“Yeah, really.” Oh my gosh. I’m not normally a nervous person, but when it comes to him I can’t help it. I’ll think about asking Leo to go to the wedding with me. I’ll see him Sunday and maybe when I see him I’ll know what to do.
At least I hope so.
Chapter 2
Ivy
“Did you get the invite?” Rachel, the bride-to-be, bubbles with so much excitement her voice comes out staticky on the phone.
“I did. Congratulations to you both,” I answer trying to balance the phone and carry my grocery bags at the same time. I’ve just arrived home, and Rachel caught at a time that was just not convenient.
“Thanks Ivy. You know, I’m still surprised. You know when you want something so bad but you never think it will happen?” Rachel’s voice was filled with optimism and hope.
“Yeah,” I reply, thinking about Leo, rather than her.
She’s talking about Patrick and being in love. I don’t know what that kind of love feels like.
Setting the bags down in the kitchen I plant myself on the chair behind the breakfast table so I can speak to her in comfort.
It’s late and I rub my tired feet, after a busy day of running around trying to organize the activities planned for next week.
“I thought I’d call just to see how you are and also let you know that Patrick and I are aware of the situation with Ben,” she says with a low voice. “We just want to make sure you’re okay with him being there. Him and um. . .Claudia.”
Never the girl to lie, I decide I won’t start now. “Of course it’s okay.” I fill my voice with confidence so there’s no doubt in her mind that her special day won’t be impacted by me. “We broke up two years ago.” Which is the truth. “I’ve moved on.” I have, but I still carry a huge amount of resentment towards him, but Rachel doesn’t need to know that. “Besides, I wouldn’t spoil your wedding about our past. That’s between us.”
A large sigh of relief fills my ear. “I’m glad to hear you say that because I thought you might not come.”
“No, Rachel. It’s your wedding, it’s your day. I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I say with honesty. Because I wouldn’t want to hurt my friend, she and Patrick mean a lot to me.
“Thank you so much. I’m sorry about Ben,” she says. “I never thought things would end up the way they did.”
“Me neither. Anyway, he wasn’t like that when we first got together. I think the fame just went to his head.” As much as I like Rachel, I’m still wary of saying too much. Ben and Patrick are good friends.
“I guess so. I thought it was completely unfair of him to talk about you that way in his interview. You guys have been broken up for two years.” She pauses as though thinking about what she’s about to say. “I think he did it because you’re doing so well with your business.”
I nod, reflecting on her insights. Perhaps. “Maybe,” I say.
“I didn’t tell you at the time but Patrick spoke with him about it. Neither of us were okay with him putting you down the way he did.”
My eyes widen at her confession, unable to believe Patrick did that. “Thanks, I didn’t know.”
“Well, the whole thing was so unpleasant we tried to avoid talking about it.”
“I get it.” I rub my hand over my face with self-pity. Ben really was a loser, and I can’t believe I thought he was the man for me.
“I can’t believe Ben not only mentioned your name, but your business too,” she says with contempt.
By saying Ivy Marie Carson who runs the Little Adventurers, everyone knew exactly who Ben had been referring to, in his interview.
The reminder makes me fume and my blood boil. I really wish I wasn’t going to see him again. “It’s okay. I’m not going to dwell on it.” I fill my voice with optimism. “I’m looking forward to celebrating with you and Patrick.”
“Thank you so much. We’re looking forward to it too. Patrick asked his brothers to be his groomsmen and my sisters are going to be my bridesmaids. You’re going to love Paradise Hall, where we’re getting married. You should come early and join us from Friday evening.”
“That sounds great, I’ll try.” I say. As much as I want to go early and be with my friends, the idea of seeing Ben more than I have to fills me with dread.
“We haven’t seen you in weeks, so it would be great to catch up before the big day,” Rachel gushes.
Last year they moved to Wisconsin into their new home which looks amazing. Prior to that they lived near me in Cicero so I used to see Rachel nearly every day and Patrick at least once a week.
“I miss you guys.” I confess. They now live a few hours drive away from me, so it’s been ages since I’ve seen them.
“We miss you too. We’ll have to do something nice soon. I miss our regular meetups. Talking on the phone isn’t the same as seeing each other.” She’s right. I miss her, and our catch ups. She was always finding interesting things to do. Pop up shops, secret bar locations, and hidden rooftop gardens.
“I can’t see your face now when I confess that I’m secretly hoping you’ll be bringing a plus one,” she laughs and I roll my eyes. “Are you going to bring a date?”
I chuckle hiding the stress of the decision of who to take. I still haven’t spoken to Leo. “How about I let you know when I RSVP?”
“Okay. I won’t prod. I’ll just take pleasure in the fact that you didn’t say no.”
I laugh now too. I guess maybe I’m probably warming to the idea of asking Leo, but I won’t tell her that. Jenna was bad enough earlier. I don’t think I could deal with Rachel too.
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine and I can’t wait to celebrate your special day,” I assure her. I’m even assured with the confidence in my voice.
“I like the sound of that. Anyway babe, I gotta go. Patrick’s whisking me off to Paris for a few days. Can you believe it? I’m so excited. I gotta go and pack.”
“Oh lá lá…lucky girl. Have fun.” As happy as I am for my friend, I have to push away a worm of jealousy from eating into my belly. I feel like a bad friend, not being totally happy for her.
“I will. Love you.” I can hear her voice filled with excitement. And why wouldn’t she? She’s about to marry the man of her dreams, and he’s whisking her away for a romantic holiday in Paris.
“Love you too,” I say before disconnecting the phone. I place the cell phone on the bench and think about Leo.
Asking someone to be a date at a wedding is a big deal, at least I think so. I think too there’s a little more weight in the sense that he has to at least stay the night. Wisconsin is just over four hours to get to on a good day. It can however take five or more hours to get to in bad traffic which there often is when crossing the Stateline.
If the wedding is at three there’s no way anyone from Chicago would want to drive back home.
I really want to ask Leo. What if he doesn’t want to go? He could say no. He could decline the invite and then I’d feel stupid.
I know him though. He’d go with me even if he didn’t want to just because it’s me. Then I wouldn’t know what would make me feel worse. Dragging him along to something like that, or feeling like he took pity on me.
I head to my room and as the automatic lights come on my gaze lands on a picture of me and Leo at Cory’s twenty first birthday. I have it in a frame, sitting on my dresser next to a family photo.
It’s my fa
vorite photo of the three of us. In most photos Cory and I look like twins, and then there’s Leo with his spiky dark hair and autumn colored eyes. If you look at him close enough there are specs of green blended in the warmth of the brown.
In the picture, taken seven years ago, he’s skinnier and more youthful than he is now. But then he was twenty one, a young man. Now he’s developed into a man, that I can only describe as hot.
I’m looking at the picture and I’m still that girl. I still feel the same with the planet sized crush I have on him.
Seven years later and look at me, looking at a picture thinking about what could have been.
Jenna asked me what I’d feel like in five years if I didn’t ask Leo to be my date. The answer to that is I don’t want to feel like I do now.
Sunday comes and I decide to dress up a little bit. Not too much though. Just a little in the sense that I wore a dress and not my usual comfy Sunday clothes.
I choose a simple blue skater dress. It’s not too over the top to draw attention, but subtle enough to show some difference. I do it for Leo, in the hope he’ll agree to being my date for the wedding.
I walk into the kitchen where my parents are preparing the food for the meal.
Mom and Dad haven’t seen me yet because they’re mulling over the ingredients for the pie. They’re teasing each other, their smiles telling each other of their love.
I’m about to announce my arrival when my gaze lands on Leo and Cory outside fixing the garden shed, and my mouth dries as though filled with sand. They are both shirtless. My gaze ignores my brother and zeroes in on Leo, with his muscles on show, highlighting his masterpiece body. I stare at him the same as any woman would who has eyes. Unlike the boy I grew up with, Leo now is a man. Like a walking ad for sexy.
