by Piper Rayne
My way to cope turned out to be balancing the scales. A life for a life.
I wasn’t able to right every wrong, but I did what I could to fix one and take back my life.
That was when I would always wake up from the dream that felt too real to not have happened. I wasn’t sure who the man was, but he always felt familiar like I had an intimate connection with him.
Maybe it was because of all the years of hurt my stepmom had given me that I wished so hard for her death. Or maybe it was because I knew her truths better than anyone else and not saying or doing something was killing me inside. Whatever the reason for the dreams, the nightmares, I knew what had to be done.
Even if I wasn’t sure how.
1
Two years earlier
* * *
“Sno, where are you?”
I heard her voice as it screeched down the hall penetrating the thick, concrete walls and landed hard in my ears. I wanted to pretend I hadn’t heard her, but the few times I had, she made sure I paid for it. I looked down at my hand and rubbed the top of it. It wasn’t like it hurt anymore, but the nasty scar that zigzagged across the top was a permanent reminder of how evil she could be.
“Sno,” she screamed again. It was getting louder and I knew she was on her way to my room.
“Yes, Stepmother?”
“Answer me the first time I call you. I shouldn’t have to walk across the house to get you. I need you in the kitchen now.” Her hands were folded across her giant chest and I tried not to stare as they heaved up and down with each breath she took. The short walk halfway down the hall had her out of breath.
“Sorry. I didn’t hear you.”
“What are you looking at?” she barked.
“Nothing.” I lowered my eyes to the floor and prayed she would go away.
“That’s what I thought. Here is your list of chores to get done today.” She thrust the piece of paper at me and almost hit me in the face. When I reached up to take it from her, she jerked it away. “I want all this done before your father gets home.”
“Where is he?” It was the dumbest thing I could have done, but I hadn’t seen my father in three days. He had never been gone for that long, even when Mom was dying, and he couldn’t stand to watch her anymore.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but he had to go away for work.”
“Work? Will he be home today?”
“What’s with all the questions? Yes, today and you better have the list done.” She didn’t wait for me to say another word before she started her fast waddle back down the hall.
I looked at the paper in my hand and sighed. It was full on the front and half down the back. I looked it over to try and find the order I would get it done in. She never said how much time I had, but it would have taken anyone days to get all of it done.
Laundry
Wash the bedding including in the guest rooms
Polish all the furniture
Clean the glass
Wash the windows
Sweep the floor
Vacuum the rugs
Mop and seal the floors
* * *
The list went on forever and I was exhausted looking at it. Shuffling my feet, I went to my dad and stepmom’s bedroom to grab their clothes and bedding first. That alone would take hours to do since my stepmom liked to change her clothes more than three times a day. While they were hanging to dry, I dusted, cleaned the mirror I would find her in front of all the time, and vacuumed the rug she needed to have. I remembered the day they brought it home. My dad hated the ugly roaring tiger surrounded by human skulls, but he would do anything to make her happy, so he spent hours laying the orange, red and purple rug just where she wanted it.
I was finishing up in their room. Sweeping and mopping the floor was all I had left. I reached on my hands and knees to get the broom all the way to the wall under their dresser. I knew she would look at all she could reach, so I wanted to make sure every spot she could get to was perfect. I heard a strange noise as something was pushed against the baseboards.
“What the?”
I got down lower on the floor to look under it and see if I could see what had made the smacking sound. I saw a round tube of some kind pushed as far against the wall as it could have been. I tried so hard to get it to come back to me using the broom, but all it was doing was pushing it harder against the wall. Getting back up, I wiped my hands on the ugly dress she insisted I wore before I grabbed on to the corners of the tall, skinny dresser. Pulling it away from the wall, I was able to get ahold of the object.
I rolled it over and over in my hand. The clear plastic container wasn’t labeled but there was something inside. I twisted off the lid and the smell of sour flowers hit me like I had smacked a brick wall. The bright purple petals looked familiar, but I was having a hard time placing where I had seen them before.
“What are you doing with that?” she demanded as she stormed, hips swaying, arms flailing, into the room. “Put the cap back on and give it to me.”
“What is it?” I asked.
“Never mind what it is. You never saw it. Got it?” She grabbed it from my hands and tugged the small plastic container out before I could get a better grip on it. “Did you touch it?” She rolled my hands over to look at my palms.
“No. I only took off the lid and looked at it.”
“You never saw this. Got it? I find out you told anyone about it, and it will be you I go after instead of him.”
“Him who?”
We had several male workers and a few of the women had boys they kept there with them. It could have been any of them she was talking about, but I knew better. I knew the answer whether she would tell me the truth or not.
She meant my father.
“Nothing. Finish cleaning or else.”
I had to find a way to figure out what the petals were and what she was doing with them. It was going to be impossible though the way she watched my every move. I put my hand into the pocket on my ugly, too big for me dress and touched the one I had managed to get before she caught me. If I had the chance to get to the garden, I knew Mekhi would know what it was and what she was doing with it. I hoped to get that chance later that day. As long as I was done with the inside chores, she would send me out to do the others.
Not wanting to draw attention to myself, but trying to hurry, I didn’t do as good of a job as I usually did. I hoped it was enough for her to stay off my back. I had one room left to do before I could get outside. My right side had started to tingle the longer I worked, and a strange rash was starting to form on the hand I had touched the petal with. I didn’t want to, but I had to take it out of my dress pocket and place it somewhere safe until I was done. The only place I knew she wouldn’t look for it was in her own stuff. Getting back in her room wasn’t going to be hard because I had to still make the bed but getting back in there a second time; that would be a challenge.
She said my father was coming home that day though, so I hoped he could distract her enough that I could get up to her room, since they didn’t share a bedroom, and get it back out. Tiptoeing carefully, I wrapped the petal in a tissue and carried it under the sheets back to her room. I opened the top left drawer of her oversized dresser she made my father buy her when she moved in. I moved a few small items to the side then slid the tissue under a small stack of papers. As I was putting everything back into its place, one page closer to the top caught my eye.
One word written at the top in bold, red letters read: Wolfsbane. I had never heard of it before, but I had a feeling it was what I found.
Creeeeee-kkk.
The door to my stepmother’s room began to open. Hastily, I tried to put everything back where it had been and get the drawer shut before she caught me in her things again. The last time she had, it was an accident, but she didn’t care. I went almost two weeks with nothing but a slice of bread and water twice a day. She made me do all my chores like normal and when I got too weak to handle it, she be
at me for being slow. I knew she would come up with something even more sinister if she caught me in there again.
I got the drawer closed and moved closer to the bed just as she came into the room.
2
“What are you doing in here?”
“Finishing up. I still had to make your bed after the sheets dried.” I tried to keep the shaking out of my voice but was terrified she saw through the lie. Heat raced up my neck in a hasty jolt to meet the lava running down from my hairline. A legally blind person could have seen how nervous I was and the lie I had told. If she hadn’t bought it, I would be dead for sure.
“I thought you were already done. What’s taking you so long today?” Her eyes squinted and my face grew redder.
“There was a lot on the list, and I wanted to do it right for you.” It wasn’t a total lie. If I hadn’t done it right it would have been my head. The lie was I wasn’t doing it for her. My dad was having a hard time after losing my mom and I wanted to do whatever I could to make him happy. If that meant being her slave, then I was a slave. I hated it, and at times, I hated her. I was sure she was up to no good and only using my father for his wealth.
There were rumors going around that she had something to do with my mother’s death. I wasn’t sure how she could have when she didn’t show up for months after her death. I learned a long time ago not to listen to, or believe, every rumor I heard. There were even a few about me. How my parents weren’t really my parents and that I was nothing but a little orphan that they felt sorry for. They also said it was because of me that my parents never had more kids. I never understood that one and had nobody to ask. The one time I brought it up to my mom, she said to let it go and trust her that she couldn’t have loved me more if she tried. She also told me that I was all she needed. I was the perfect child, so they had no reason to try and have another one. True or not, she always made me feel better about myself with a few words and her gentle hugs.
I missed my mother so much and fought back the tears that were begging to be set free. If my stepmom saw them fall and asked why, I would never hear the end of it. She thought it was funny that I still missed her. “It’s been over a year since she died. Move on already,” were the words she loved to throw at me any time I brought her up.
“Well, if you have that much and it’s taking you so long, I will make sure to give you extra time to get it all done next time.”
“Really?” I couldn’t believe she was saying that. There had to be a catch.
“No you idiot. Learn how to manage your time better. Do you think life is going to give you more time if you can’t get everything done?”
“I…I…”
“No,” she screamed. “Life doesn’t care about you or me. Get your work done and do it faster. I will be checking on all you did today too. It better be perfect, or I will make you do it again tomorrow.”
“I did it like you asked me to.”
“Speak up you blubbering mouse. Your words are useless to me. I will check for myself.”
“Isa, when is Dad coming?”
“Why? Miss your daddy, princess?”
“Yes.”
“If you’re lucky, he’ll be home around dinner time. And never call me by my name again. You don’t have that right and you sure haven’t earned it.”
“Okay.” I hung my head and waited for her to leave.
She didn’t.
“Let’s go look together at what you’ve gotten done so far. Shall we?” She held out her arm for me to take. It was one of the power trips she used on me. She knew I didn’t want to touch her or for her to touch me. Giving me her arm, it forced me to do what I hated and made her feel important.
“Okay. Let me finish your bed and then I will catch up with you.”
“No. Now.”
I looked from her to the dresser out of the corner of my eye. If I couldn’t get to it, it would wither and die. I would never know what it was then or what she was doing with it. I knew it was nothing good.
We walked down the hall and turned to go into the first guest room. That was the one that was in the worst condition after she let one of her friends stay in it. I had to work double hard to get that room as clean as the others and even then, I wasn’t sure it was good enough.
Holding my breath until my lungs hurt, I watched her walk slowly around the room and touch every inch of it. Small grunts were the only sound she made until she walked the whole room.
“Sno, how could you possibly think this was clean enough for me? Are you blind, dumb or both?”
“I spent hours in here and cleaned every corner.” Sweat began to form on my forehead and I clasped my hands in front of me to try and hide the shaking.
“Really? You did a half ass job in here. Come here.”
She snapped her finger at me like she was calling a dog. In some way, I envied our dogs. They were treated better than I was. Slowly, I made my way closer to where she stood but kept a little distance between us.
“Closer,” she hollered. I jumped but obeyed her. “Does that look clean?” She was pointing to the very back of the headboard. There was a set of underwear hidden behind it and a thick, maroon streak that ran the length of the headboard that was stuck to the wall.
“No, but I pulled the bed out. That wasn’t there.”
“So now I’m a liar? You could use a good lesson on manners there, missy. Come with me.”
She didn’t let me talk or even explain anything farther. Grabbing me by the hair, she tugged on the stringy, black, greasy mess I had attached to my head. It had been three days since she had allowed me to take a bath and then working hard every day, I wasn’t looking like the pretty little girl I used to be.
“You’ll pay for this and for talking back to me. I will not be accused of doing things like this in my own house.”
I wanted to yell at her that it wasn’t her house but my dad’s. I knew better and had more control than that. I wasn’t looking to getting whipped into the next week and she was in the kind of mood where she would have. The last time my dad was gone for a few days and I was alone with her, she had sent me to the pig barn to sleep because I didn’t thank her for letting me wash my only other dress she let me have. At least with them I was safer than I had been with her.
“Wait until your father hears about this stunt you tried to pull. Do you know how upset he will be? To think he used to think you were the perfect little girl. I guess that was why I was sent here. To show him how awful you really are. You can’t fool me with your big brown eyes and big red lips. Just because you look like a doll doesn’t mean you’re as innocent as one. I know the truth about you and soon, he will too. Then what will you do? You won’t have him to run to. It will only be the two of us.”
“What?” I had no idea what she was talking about. My dad would never believe her. I was the only thing he had left after Mom died and before she showed up, we were so close. He had to remember that.
“Don’t think daddy will be around forever. I’m younger than he is and in better health. You’d be wise to get on my good side.”
I knew she didn’t have a good side. At least not one I had ever seen. When they first met, I hoped I would see in her what my dad had, but as hard as I tried, I couldn’t find anything good about her. And when he left us alone, it was even worse.
The one time I tried to tell him how she was when he wasn’t home, he laughed at me and said I was only saying it because she wasn’t my mother. I had to get used to her, her new rules and the fact that he loved her.
After that, I never told him again how she was to me when he wasn’t home.
3
“When is the last time you washed that mess on your head?” she asked as she tossed me against the wall in the room she loved to lock me in.
“The last time you let me.”
“Well, since you can’t seem to keep clean, let me help you with that part at least.”
I saw the gleam of light from the single bulb hanging in the middle o
f the ceiling hit the stainless-steel tips of the shears she held in her hand. I tried to move back, but the cold of the cement hit my back and raced through the light fabric of my dress. A shiver ran down my spine and I tried to stop the shake before she saw it. Showing her I was afraid seemed to fuel her desire to hurt me.
“Please don’t.”
“I have to. Look at you. You’re a complete mess. What would your father think if he saw you like this?”
“Let me take a bath before he gets here, and you won’t have to do this.”
“No, it’s time to learn this lesson too. You can’t always be the prettiest girl in the room.”
Before I could think, she leaped at me, grabbed my hair and began to cut. The yanking hurt but not as bad as watching my black hair fall to the ground. She was ripping some out by the roots as she continued to cut. I felt something warm and wet begin to flow down the side of my head. I didn’t dare reach up and touch it or she would have cut off my fingers too. Besides, I already knew what it was. She was pulling so hard and not being careful with the tips of the shears. Blood was running down my head from her quick haircut.
“There. Much better. Now get this mess cleaned up before I get back to get you. We have about an hour before you need to be ready to be downstairs and I won’t have him see this mess or you looking like this. Here’s a broom. Get busy.”
Flinching as she slammed the door behind her, I looked at the broom then at the mess on the floor. There, scattered all around, were my locks of black hair. I picked up a clump and twirled it over in my hand. It had been past my butt before she chopped it all off. I dropped the hair to the floor and ran my hand up to my head. Shaking, I touched what was left. I winced when my hand ran across one of the places she had cut me. Taking it back to where I could see it in the soft light, I saw the red cover my fingertips. Folding up, I cried into my hands. Nothing I said would change how my life had turned out. My dad, the only person I had left in the world, hadn’t believed me about her. I prayed when he saw what she had done to me that he would finally see her for who she was.
