by Hayes, Drew
“Asha, if I could go back in time… well, I’d stop you from getting hurt, possibly set a trap for Quinn in the process. Taking that off the table, though, there’s nothing I would do differently. Krystal and I can reschedule a ceremony; there’s no second chance on saving a friend. If you asked her, she’d tell you the exact same thing, only with more cursing.”
“You sure? She was pretty excited about all of this.”
“Without question. No one cares more for the people in her life than Krystal. It’s one of the many reasons I fell in love with her.”
“Have to admit, it’s a real bummer to hear they’ve stopped your wedding. We were all pulling for you two. Would have been nice to see you tie the knot.” Asha removed two glasses from the bar and filled both with more scotch than we knew I would drink. Nevertheless, she slid one over to me, lifting the other into a toast. “Well, here’s to love, and eventual marriage.”
While my glass met hers, there was no true spirit of cheers in the gesture. I’d accepted Director Waxwood’s declaration without question, because she was in charge, and that was that. But the more I turned it around in my head, the more troubled I became. She didn’t actually have the legal right to bar our marriage, not with the paperwork having already been submitted. That was the joy of bureaucracy; it rarely had provisions for last-minute intrusions from outside parties.
“Asha, this is more your area of expertise than mine, but in theory, what sorts of people can perform legally binding parahuman weddings? That is to say, what titles or authority do they need to be recognized?”
“Well, you need another parahuman off the bat. Mortals can’t get the magic moving. Then, it either has to be someone recognized for the role by your culture’s ruling council, or an Agency-approved asset open to those from any heritage. There are also provisions for those in positions of high leadership, sort of the same way we used to let boat captains hitch people at sea. Technically, if your clan was bigger, you’d qualify. Not that you can do the ceremony yourself, has to be an external party.” Unlike me, Asha put away the entirety of her scotch, downing it all in a single gulp. “Hey, no more burn. I’m finding perks to this undead lifestyle already.”
Even after the day she’d had, Asha was as reliable and knowledgeable as ever. Better, her answer left me with options. I started first toward Richard, but then thought better of it. While he would be essential to the plan, if he was willing, there was someone who had to be talked with first. The entire point of this ceremony, of the marriage overall, was becoming a team. Whatever came next, we had to make that decision together.
I made it to Krystal between plates of shrimp, sparing me from having to wait while she speed-chewed prawns. Instead, I took the plate from her hands, and then her hands in mine. Krystal instantly keyed that something was up; for me to show blatant affection in public was a telltale sign that things weren’t normal. “What’s up, Freddy?”
“What’s up, is I have an idea.” No, that didn’t capture it properly. “A bad idea. A ludicrous, dangerous, insanely mad notion of an idea. A Krystal idea, if you will.”
The glint of dangerous curiosity sparked in her eye. “And what’s that?”
“Let’s get married. In half an hour, when the day rolls over and it becomes midnight, everything we turned in becomes valid. Director Waxwood didn’t order you not to get hitched; she only said the wedding was canceled. But a marriage is so much more than the wedding itself. Who cares if she cut that ceremony? We’ll just hold another.”
“You know there are hurdles, right? Arch broke them down for us.” A slow smile parted those bright red lips. “But you don’t miss a detail, so there’s no way you didn’t clock those issues. Does that mean you’ve got a plan?”
“Plan is much too good for this; it’s an idea, at its very best.” Despite the situation, I was grinning right back at her. Maybe we were biting off something beyond us, maybe it was a stupidly big task, but we were doing it hand in hand. Context be damned, it felt good to be in the thick of trouble with the woman I loved.
I winked at her once before continuing. “As I see it, when faced with a problem, your first recourse is to break the rules, whereas mine is to run away. Seeing as tonight is all about our marriage and partnership, I thought we’d do both. Let’s break some rules while running away.”
8.
“Since you’ve decided to propose something reckless and impulsive, I guess that means it’s on me to point out the obvious logistical hurdles, starting with the fact that we don’t even have anyone who would marry us. Everyone with proper authority is going to listen to the director.” Krystal didn’t sound especially defeated; she likely suspected I had something in mind, but it was still a valid point to raise.
“About that…” I turned, locking eyes with Richard from across the room. “According to Asha, the head of a pack Richard’s size would have a high-enough position to legally oversee the ceremony. Much as I hate to impose—”
His massive hand was waving through the air to silence me. “Don’t worry about it. Now that I know you two want to push on, if you didn’t ask, then I would have proposed that I perform the wedding.”
“And I second,” Gideon added.
It was a surprising show of support, but one we didn’t dwell on long as Richard continued. “However, if you want it to be proper and binding, in the magical as well as legal sense, then you we can’t just do it in a hotel room. Has to be at a place where power gathers; venues like churches usually work, thanks to all the concentrated faith in one spot.”
There had to be more than a few areas like that scattered throughout Boarback, but my mind instantly flew back to our original wedding site. Remote, hard to reach, and so magical I could almost taste it in the air when we’d stood there. “Krystal, do you think the grove would let us through without Sheriff Thorgood?”
“I doubt it,” she admitted. “Not that it matters. If we do this, we have to bring him in on it.”
For a moment, I wondered if that was wise, and Krystal sensed my hesitation. “Freddy, this is his town. Your idea is totally crazy; I want you to understand that out of the gate. The Director of the Agency is here, along with the dozens of agents who came for the wedding in the first place. The only way we have even an outside shot of this working is if Sheriff Thorgood wants us to succeed. Besides, he has to be there. He’s giving me away.”
I’d almost forgotten that part. It still seemed like a risky venture, given that the director was his sibling; though, it wasn’t as if family never fought. Ultimately, I had to put my faith in Krystal, whose certainty never wandered where the sheriff was concerned. If she said he’d help, then I counted him as an ally.
“You do both realize that it’s not as if they won’t consider this possibility.” Arch came in from the balcony, waving to clear the last of the smoke from his face. While I didn’t know precisely what type of parahuman Arch was, I did know he always managed to hear more than it seemed like he should be able to. “In fact, I already spotted two agents in the street, keeping tabs in case you decide to do something exactly that crazy.” He shook his head and tsked slightly. “Which means, those two are also getting a fresh round of stealth training the next time I’m in the office.”
“Then we create a distraction. Heaven knows, if there’s one thing this clan is good at, it’s causing a scene.” I looked around at my friends’ faces and saw that they were unsure. Perhaps they, not unreasonably, thought this to be nothing more than a thought experiment, or the venting of steam through fantasy. Time to get my people on the same page, because this would take a lot of teamwork if we wanted even the slenderest shot of success. “Everyone, let me be explicitly clear right now. I am not kidding, joking, or in any way messing around. I’m discussing violating a direct order from the Agency. Anyone not comfortable with that, or the fallout it could have, should probably enjoy the view from the balcony for a bit.”
Slowly, the room fell silent as the severity of the situation set in. It
was Krystal who moved forward, speaking what I imagined was no doubt the question on a great many minds in the room. “Are you sure about that, Freddy? I’m mad, too—spitting nails angry, in fact, so I get the impulse. But even if this isn’t technically illegal, it’s going to piss some dangerous people off. It’s kind of hard to wrap our heads around the idea of you being the one who says, ‘Fuck the rules, let’s do what we want,’ when you go to great pains day-in, day-out to not ruffle feathers or break any rules.”
“The rules never tried to stand between me and you before.”
Admittedly, it was a bit of a clumsy way to express my sentiment, yet the message got through, as I saw Krystal be momentarily taken aback. While I still had her by surprise, I took her left hand—the one wearing her engagement ring—carefully in both of my palms. “Krystal, please look at my expression, because I want you to truly understand how much I mean these words.”
She leaned in, slightly, enough that I could have whispered, if not for all the other prying ears.
“Fuck the rules. Let’s do what we want.” The smile that broke across my face, nervous, half-mad, was one I suspected bore at least a fair resemblance to the grin Krystal often sported when diving headfirst into trouble. “And what I want is to marry you. Tonight. Up on that hill, overlooking the town. How about it?”
“Well, I did go to all the trouble of buying a dress. Seems like a waste of effort not to use it.” Krystal darted in as her words finished, kissing me hard and brief before spinning around to face our friends. “Okay, folks, this is officially not a drill. While what we’re pitching might not come with legal consequences, expect the director to react to being defied the same way most powerful people do: that is to say, poorly. Anyone who wants to bail out here and now before they know enough to feel like an accessory should feel free to walk away. There are jobs and alliances in play, most of you have duties that extend beyond yourself. No hard feelings if this is a step too far.”
Not so much as a single person in the room moved, with the lone exception of Amy, who continued piling her plate high with cocktail shrimp, pausing just long enough to acknowledge that a speech was occurring.
The first non-eater to actually say something was the one I’d expected the least. Tapping the closed pack of cigarettes, Arch glanced wistfully to the balcony, then sighed. “Since this will inevitably go bad, and agents are likely to get involved, I’ll have to be part of it. I think the director overreached, so I’ll back your play, but we have to make sure the kid gloves stay on. I’m not putting any of my people at risk; if someone needs to delay the agents, I’ll be the one to do it.”
“Not alone. I’ve survived quite a few of your ‘training camps,’ so I think I can help run the basics,” June offered. Her eyes turned toward Krystal. “You know I’ve got your back, especially after what you pulled me out of to be here.”
I barely even noticed June’s heartfelt sentiment; my mind was still boggling over the idea that the ones Arch was saying he’d protect were the agents, not us. That seemed excessive, until my gaze wandered a few feet over, to where Gideon and Sally were seated by Richard. Right. When a powerful dragon who did what he pleased was in play, it was probably best to leave the agents to Arch.
“I’ve got a few ideas for a distraction,” Amy offered. “Going to need some muscle, though. Bubba, at the least. I’d like another therian, but you’ll need Richard with you guys for the ceremony to work.”
“What about Gregor?” I asked. Instantly, I saw the gargoyle open his mouth in protest—that is, until Gideon moved to speak, at which point Gregor’s jaw slammed shut so hard I swore I heard the sound of rocks smashing.
Gideon nodded at my idea, touching his chin lightly as he considered it. “An excellent substitution. This will be my first opportunity to see one of the Slate-Claws functioning in a new role. I expect to be suitably impressed.”
In that moment, if Deborah and Director Waxwood had walked through the door, Gregor probably would have tried to take them both on singlehandedly. He looked as if someone had turned a switch, flipping all of his energy to its exact opposite polarity. Energy poured off the man; he was starving for a fight now that he knew his king’s attention was upon him. Whatever Amy needed, she now had quite possibly the most enthusiastic helper imaginable.
“Happy to pitch in if there are legal issues. Not too sure how good I’d be with these yet.” Flexing her hands, Asha’s newly enhanced nails caught the light of the fire, making them look even more dangerous.
“Hopefully, it won’t matter. We’re not trying to assault anyone, break in anywhere, or otherwise court violence. We’re just using the venue that we paid for, on the day we booked in, for the ceremony we scheduled. Granted, it’s on the wrong side of the sunrise, but it’s not like the contracts had timetables.”
As I was speaking, the others in the room were rising slowly to their feet. Lillian joined up with Albert and Neil, stealing a few bites from their plates, leading them both to where Asha was standing. Al made her way over to Amy, whispering quietly while still keeping an eye on us for more cues. Bubba took a spot near Richard and Arch, ready and waiting. As one, the clan and our allies moved, readying for the next adventure.
I was temporarily dumbfounded. Part of me had expected at least the agents to bail on the discussion entirely; instead, they were offering to help. Seeing these people leap to my aid, I couldn’t help remembering my life before Krystal: keeping to myself, laying low, subsisting only on bought blood and classic movies. Back then, I could never have imagined a life like this, and that was without including a single supernatural element. No matter where she went, Krystal shook things up, and for a moment, I silently thanked the universe that I was such thing to be shaken. Terrifying and crazy as what we were planning was, I wouldn’t have traded the chance at marrying her for a thousand years of peace.
“I am touched to see all of you on board, and it is dearly appreciated. We have less than an hour until the day turns over. Before then, we’ll need to reach out to Sheriff Thorgood; might as well get his help as early as possible. We also have to figure out transportation logistics for everyone—”
“You may exclude myself and Sally,” Gideon informed us. “This seems the sort of journey fraught with peril and chaos. I will take her a safer route.”
I hadn’t even considered the idea that Sally would come up with us, although Gideon was absolutely right that whatever trouble we were getting into would be no place for a child. “Excellent thinking. That means we need transportation for everyone else, plus Sheriff Thorgood, presumably. My car is burning wreckage, and Krystal’s truck can only fit so many.”
Cackling filled the air, unmistakable for anything else. All eyes slowly swiveled to the laughing form of Amy Wells, who’d just finished the last prawn on her formerly heaping plate. She dropped the dish to the carpeted floor, rubbing her hands together in glee, unrestrained excitement bursting forth in literal sparks of light.
“I have just the potion I’ve been waiting to try out for such an occasion.”
That should have horrified me to my very core. For a person with sense, there was really no other plausible reaction to have to such an outburst, especially knowing Amy’s overall capabilities and joy for experimentation. Instead, my chest swelled with hope. Sure, this meant Amy had some sort of high-level insanity in mind, but that was—somehow—heartening. Maybe, after all these years, I was turning as mad as the rest of them, or perhaps I always had been, but never saw cause to let such inclinations loose. On this evening, however, I had uncovered ample motivation. So long as no one was hurt, I didn’t especially care how insane Amy’s ideas were.
The time had come to show the parahuman world just how big a mess the House of Fred could cause when we tried.
9.
In the end, we had to split up. There was no other way we had even an outside chance of making it to the grove, and no single vehicle that could fit all of us in the first place. The distraction team, consisting of
Bubba, Gregor, Amy, and—surprisingly enough—a volunteering Al, had left the rest of us earlier to prepare for their task. Ideally, if all went to plan, they’d follow up behind, likely trailing the agents who gave us chase.
As for the rest of us, we were piled up in Krystal’s truck, parked in the shadow of the sheriff’s station. We hadn’t hidden our commute; the two of us walked over in plain sight of the agents keeping watch. There was nothing especially suspicious about her turning to a mentor after a trying day, so we didn’t pretend there was. Acting as if we had nothing to hide seemed the natural tactic.
The others had come over through more covert means. I didn’t know the exact route they’d taken, but given that they’d had Arch in the lead, I wasn’t particularly worried about them being spotted. The truck was a tight squeeze as Arch, Neil, Albert, and I crammed into the back, while Krystal, Richard, Asha, June, and Lillian piled into the cab. Resting in my hand was a vial of swirling purple liquid, so active it nearly seemed alive. While I wasn’t entirely sure what it would do, I had specific instructions not to use it until we were on the move. Amy refused to tell me more than that, which either meant that it was so dangerous she knew I wouldn’t use it with full knowledge of its effects, or she was merely tickled by the notion of our surprise.
We said nothing as we waited, too aware of the prying parahuman ears throughout the town. Between the Blood Council and all the agents around, there was no shortage of people who’d be quite surprised to see us geared up for a sudden trip. I was tense, yet strangely absent of any nerves. There was nothing to feel conflicted about; this was what I wanted. Despite knowing the endeavor would likely end in failure, it was more important to try than to just give up. Even my predilection for cowardice had a limit.
As we began to hear noise rippling over from the center of town, we readied ourselves. Right now, the townsfolk were no doubt confused by the sudden appearance of Amy and Gregor, especially since they were hauling in a large wagon of wares—probably interested, more than worried, given the nature of the goods. Just as Gregor was unloading the haul, their attention would be stolen by—
