Kathy swept from the room and Ellie stared after her openmouthed.
“Why didn’t she stay in Miami? Her folks didn’t have any friends down there for Kathy to live with? Seems strange to me.” Maria asked her questions the next day at lunch amid a small cluster of girls who had gathered around Ellie in the cafeteria. They were anxious to hear everything she knew about the aloof Kathy Tolena. Ellie had spared no details, relishing her role as insider to Kathy’s hitherto mysterious life. Even Chad had deigned to come up to her in the hall that morning and say, “I saw you with Miss Frosty yesterday. What’s going on?”
Ellie’s heart had thudded and her mouth had gone dry from being close to Chad again, but she had acted totally nonchalant. She’d told him, “English project. We’re working at her house. I see now why she hasn’t got time for high school. Or for your friend Bennett, either.” It was common knowledge that Bennett Mason had tried for weeks to date Kathy, but she’d shot him down with a cool “No thanks.”
Chad had waited for Ellie to tell him more, but she’d smiled sweetly and walked off, feeling a perverse pleasure. Now, at lunch, she told the girls everything about the previous afternoon.
Maria sipped her soda thoughtfully. “And if these people are so rich, why use Kathy to baby-sit? Why not just let her live with them and hire a nanny for their baby?”
“It seems weird to me that Kathy would leave her school in Miami to come here. I mean, what’s the difference between here and Kuwait?” Tricia said. “Both are nowhere.”
All the girls laughed. Such questions hadn’t occurred to Ellie, but now that her friends were asking them, it did seem strange. Why have a teenage girl baby-sit? And why was Kathy so willing to give up her life to do it? “She seems really attached to Chris,” Ellie offered. “It’s hard not to be. He’s adorable.”
“So was my brother,” Ginny said. “Until he turned three and began vandalizing my room regularly.”
“You going back over to Kathy’s today?” Maria asked.
“Tomorrow,” Ellie said.
“So keep us posted.”
“Throw any good gossip our way.”
“It doesn’t even have to be good, girl. Just toss it.”
The girls stood up together. “Got to run,” Ginny said.
Watching them go, Ellie felt let down. If she was going to keep their interest, she’d have to do a lot more reporting in about Kathy. Guiltily she hunkered down in her chair. All she’d wanted was to get back into the inner circle of Chad’s crowd. Now it looked as if she’d have to turn into a spy to stay there.
Four
“Is Daddy coming for Thanksgiving?” Marcy sat at the kitchen table, toying with the vegetables on her dinner plate.
“No, he isn’t,” her mother answered.
“But I want him to come,” Marcy said.
Her mother looked irritated. “I don’t know where he is. He left me no address, no way to contact him. Which I’d love to do, since he owes me two support checks.”
“Are we even having Thanksgiving dinner?” Ellie asked, not too kindly. Except for school being out, she wasn’t looking forward to the holiday.
“Of course we are. And don’t act so snippy.” Her mother stood and began clearing the table. “In fact, tomorrow evening we’re going to pick up the food.”
“You aren’t working?”
“Not tomorrow night. Would you please eat those vegetables, Marcy, and stop playing?”
Marcy slumped in her chair. Her mother grabbed up her plate. “I don’t even know why I’m bothering to fix Thanksgiving dinner. You two don’t appreciate one thing I do.” Her voice grew shrill. “Do you think it’s easy for me? Working two jobs? Trying to hold our household together?” She didn’t wait for an answer but swept out of the room.
Marcy started to cry, and Ellie crouched beside her little sister. “Don’t cry. Mom didn’t mean to yell.”
“She’s always mad.”
“I think she’s just tired.” Ellie made the only excuse she could think of.
“I miss Daddy.”
“I know. So do I. But we don’t miss them yelling at each other all the time, do we?” Marcy shook her head. “Then let’s think about Thanksgiving.” Ellie put her arm around Marcy and chanted, “Turkey and pumpkin pie … oh, my!”
Marcy sniffed and mumbled, “Mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce … oh, my.”
“Salad and rolls and beans, oh, my!”
Soon the two of them were marching around the table and chanting. Ellie kept up her bravado for her sister’s sake, but deep down she knew Thanksgiving was never going to be the same again for their family. No, not ever.
“I thought we were going to the grocery store.” Ellie peered through the car window at the brightly lit church.
Her mother pulled into the parking lot. “We’re getting our turkey here this year.”
Once the implication seeped through Ellie’s brain, she cried, “You mean, we’re taking charity? Charity?”
“Don’t make it sound so terrible,” her mother said. “Your father hasn’t come through with any money, and there are bills that have to be paid. Or would you rather go without electricity? I do what I have to do. Try and act grateful.”
Ellie slouched down in her seat while her mother and sister went inside to pick up their frozen turkey. She kept remembering the opulent house where Kathy lived. Maybe she could take over Kathy’s job in the summer, when Kathy went to visit her family. It wasn’t such a bad idea. How hard could it be to take care of Chris?
Once Ellie’s mother and sister returned to the car, Mrs. Matthias drove to the grocery store. In the parking lot, she handed Ellie a shopping list and said, “I’ve got to get a few things at Wal-Mart, so take this and meet us back at the car.”
“I’ll need some money.”
“Use this.” Her mother handed her a coupon book.
“What is it?”
“Food stamps. How do you think we’ve been getting by?”
Ellie didn’t dare protest, but she loathed the whole idea. Only really poor people used food stamps. In the store, she quickly filled the shopping basket with the items on her mother’s list and, with her heart pounding, went to the checkout line. Silently she prayed that no one from school would see her hand the cashier the food stamps.
“Napkins and paper towels aren’t food items, miss,” the cashier said. “You can’t use your food stamps. You’ll have to pay cash for them.”
“I—I … didn’t know.” Ellie felt her face turning beet-red. “Um—maybe you’d better forget them.”
The cashier shoved both packages aside. The woman on line behind Ellie gave her a bored stare. Ellie shifted from foot to foot, willing the bagger to work more quickly. She couldn’t get out of the store fast enough.
“Hey, Ellie, what’s up?” Maria’s voice called from the next line over.
Mortified, Ellie grabbed her change, consisting of a few pennies and some food stamps, and stuffed them into her pocket. Had Maria seen? She didn’t want it all over school that she was using food stamps. “Uh—nothing,” Ellie said over her shoulder.
“Want me to take these out?” the bagger asked, motioning toward Ellie’s basket.
“I’ve got it.” With her head down and her face feeling as if it were on fire, Ellie shoved the basket toward the door. “Got to run. My mom’s waiting,” she said to Maria without looking at her.
“Don’t eat too much turkey,” Maria called as Ellie hurried from the store.
Once outside, Ellie breathed in great gulps of air, trying to regain her composure and blink back the tears stinging her eyes. Humiliated and hating her life, she trudged to the car.
For Ellie, Thanksgiving Day was long and dismal. As soon as the meal was over, her mother went to her room with a headache, and Marcy zoned out in front of the TV, watching cartoons. Ellie was cleaning up the mess in the kitchen and feeling depressed when the phone rang.
“Ellie?” Chad’s voice said.
H
er heart started thudding. He hadn’t called her since the night he’d come over while her mother was at work. “It’s me,” she said.
“You finished with dinner?”
“All done. How about you?”
“Not yet. My dad wanted to wait until the football game was over.” In the background, Ellie heard whooping. “Touchdown,” Chad said.
An awkward moment of silence passed. “Did you want something?” Ellie asked. She couldn’t imagine why he was calling.
“Um—I’ve missed you, Ellie.”
“I haven’t gone anyplace.”
“I know. I’m, um—sorry that I’ve been frosting you out. I was ticked. But I’ve been thinking about you.”
“Is that why you dated Theresa?”
“I never liked her the way I liked you. You and me, we’ve had some good times together, haven’t we?”
The hurt she’d felt over Chad’s treatment of her began to dissolve. He was telling her all the right things, and besides, she had missed him, too. “Is this why you’ve called? To say you’re sorry?”
“Partly. But also to ask you to go with me to Kevin Winn’s party Saturday night.”
She wanted to go with him very much but didn’t want to sound too eager. “Who’s going?”
“Everybody. The whole gang. It’ll be a real blowout.”
She paused dramatically. “I guess I can go.”
“Good.” Chad sounded pleased. “We’ll have fun, Ellie. Just like old times. Let’s say I pick you up about eight.”
“I’ll be ready.”
In the background, Ellie heard someone shout Chad’s name. “Got to run,” Chad said. “See you Saturday night.”
Ellie hung up. Elation replaced her gloom. Everybody would be at Kevin’s party, and everybody would see that they were a couple again. Chad’s call made up for a lot that had gone wrong in her life these past few days. She wanted Chad back. She wanted to be his girl again. She swore to herself that this time she would keep him.
Five
Chad was so late in picking Ellie up on Saturday night that for a while she worried that his invitation might have been a cruel joke. With relief, she hurried out to his car as soon as he pulled up. “Sorry,” he said as she stepped into the car. “My dad and I got into it this afternoon, and he almost grounded me.”
Ellie said, “No problem.”
“The party should be jumping by the time we get there,” Chad said. “We’ll have to catch up.”
Kevin lived in a house that backed onto a lake. It was an older place, with none of the grandeur of Kathy’s house, but the property was isolated, making it perfect for a party. Cars and small trucks were parked helter-skelter along the road and up on the lawn. Every light in the house was on, and kids were milling around on the grass. “I guess his parents aren’t home,” Ellie observed.
“Good guess,” Chad said, taking her hand.
Inside, the place was crammed with kids and thick with the smells of cigarette smoke and beer. Music all but vibrated the walls, and couples were dancing in an area of the family room where the furniture had been moved aside. “I’ll get us something to drink,” Chad shouted above the noise.
Ellie waved to Maria while she waited for Chad to return. Her friend sidled over. “I’m glad you came,” she said.
“Who are you here with?” Ellie asked.
“Bennett brought me. How about you?”
“Chad.”
Maria looked mildly surprised. “So you two patched things up?”
“I think so.”
“Theresa won’t like this.”
“Where is she?”
“She went out of town with her family for Thanksgiving. I thought you knew.”
Ellie shook her head, suddenly aware that perhaps Chad’s invitation had come her way because Theresa wasn’t available. “Oh, yeah …,” Ellie said. “I remember now.”
Chad appeared with two plastic cups full of beer. He thrust one into Ellie’s hand. Bravely she took a sip and grimaced. Chad laughed. “Come on, baby. Drink up. There’s a whole keg in there.”
Ellie smiled weakly and put the cup to her mouth, but she only pretended to drink.
Chad began checking out the room. Maria took Ellie’s arm. “Come with me.”
Maria led Ellie down a hall to where a line of girls were standing. “You need me to wait in line with you to go to the bathroom?” Ellie asked.
Maria laughed. “I can go by myself, but I noticed how you felt about the beer.”
Self-consciously, Ellie shrugged. “I’ll drink it later.”
“I don’t like beer either, so me, Tricia, and Ginny stashed some rum in the bathroom. We pour it into our Cokes, and it goes down a whole lot easier than beer.”
Ellie realized that Maria was taking her to share their liquor. She mumbled, “It all tastes awful to me. I’ll stick with plain cola.”
“You sure? It’s going to be a long night if you don’t do any drinking.”
“I’m just taking it slow and easy.” Ellie certainly didn’t want to get plastered tonight.
“Not too slow,” Maria warned. “Chad’s ready to rock and roll, girl. You better keep up.”
Ellie managed another weak smile. When they returned to the family room, Bennett swept Maria into his arms, dipped her backward, and kissed her passionately. “Not a bad idea,” Chad said, and pulled Ellie close. His breath smelled of beer, but his kiss left her knees weak. She felt his hands slide under her sweater and move on her skin.
She stepped away. “Stop it.” He looked surprised. Before he could get angry, Ellie added, “Everybody’s watching.”
“The girl’s shy,” Bennett said, poking Chad in the ribs. “A guy should be respectful of that.”
“Yeah,” Maria said. “Can you spell p-r-i-v-a-c-y, Chad?”
Chad threw up his hands in mock defeat. “All right, you guys win.” He turned to Ellie. “Sorry. I got carried away.”
Grateful for Bennett and Maria’s intervention and Chad’s acceptance of it, Ellie smiled. “Let’s dance.”
They danced for a while, with Chad stopping to drink a beer every time a song was over. When a slow dance came on, he snuggled her against his chest and rested his cheek atop her head. “Did I tell you how much I’ve missed you? I did, you know. Theresa was just a sideline. Something to keep from thinking about you all the time.”
“That’s nice to hear.” Ellie swayed in his arms, happy and content. She’d missed him so much.
“Will you come upstairs with me? I want to show you something.”
At that moment, Ellie would have followed him anywhere. He led her up the stairs, down a hall, and into a room. He closed the door, shutting out most of the party noise, and flipped a switch on the wall. Black light turned the room an eerie shade of pale blue.
Chad said, “This is Kevin’s room. Pretty cool, huh?”
She held out her hands and waggled her fingers. In the black light, her skin looked icy blue and otherworldly. “Neat.”
Chad stepped behind her and circled her waist with his arms. “No, you’re neat,” he said in her ear. “I really like you, Ellie. I want you to be my girl.”
Her heart hammered. Never in her wildest dreams had she expected this. She turned slowly in his embrace and slipped her arms around his neck. “I’ve always been your girl, Chad. From the very first time we dated.”
“Oh, baby.” His breath felt hot on her throat, and his mouth moved over her lips and down her neck. Her insides quivered and her breath came in little gasps.
In seconds she was lying on Kevin’s bed and Chad was beside her, stroking her, kissing her, whispering of his love. Ellie felt as if she were floating on a sea of warmth. Her body ached with yearning. Chad eased her sweater higher and ran his hands across her skin. She shivered, basking in the sheer pleasure of his touch. She felt his hand slip inside the waistband of her pants. She sucked in her breath and tensed.
“It’s okay, baby,” Chad whispered. “I won’t hurt you. I
just want to make you feel good. And it will feel good, Ellie. I promise, I’ll make you feel so good.”
Tension crawled up her body, steeling her muscles, making them cramp. “We—We’d better stop.”
“I don’t want to stop. I want to make love to you. Please, Ellie. I want you so bad.”
Ellie jerked his hand away and sat upright. “I—I can’t. Please, stop.” She was crying without wanting to.
Chad sat up. In the black light, his face looked malevolent. “This is stupid, Ellie. You want to be my girl, but you don’t want me to touch you. What kind of a girl are you?”
“I—I want you to touch me,” Ellie stammered. “It’s just that I’m afraid.”
“Afraid of what? I said I wouldn’t hurt you. Don’t you trust me?”
“I trust you.”
“Then act like it. You’re tying me in knots, baby. Don’t you know how hard it is for a guy to stop real sudden? It’s painful, Ellie. And you keep doing it to me.”
“I don’t mean to. I only want us to be—”
“Well, we can’t be anything if you can’t be here for me in every way.”
Miserable, Ellie hung her head. “I just can’t, Chad. Not only don’t I have any protection, I can’t let myself go all the way.”
“Well, that really sucks.” Chad got off the bed and began to weave from side to side.
For a moment Ellie thought he might fall over. “Let’s talk,” she said, reaching for his hand.
He yanked it away. “Forget it. The time for talking’s over. I ask you to be my girl and you throw it back in my face. It’s over, Ellie. I’m getting me a girl who really cares about me.” Chad jerked open the door and left her alone in the room.
The sounds of the party drifted through the doorway. Shaking, scared, and humiliated, Ellie knew she couldn’t go back and act as if nothing had happened. Chad was probably down there right now telling everybody what a loser she was. She wanted to hide. She wanted to run away. But Chad had brought her. Ellie started to cry. She had to get out of there and get home.
Starry, Starry Night Page 11
