I groaned and dropped my head back against the limo seat yet again. This time I hit it a few times.
“Y’all didn’t . . . Did you?”
I gave Rich a look that said he was an idiot for asking.
“Holy shit. Your parents were in the same building!”
I hit him on the chest and then dialed Kaelynn’s number. I had no idea why I put it on speakerphone. Maybe I needed Rich’s help with this call. Some therapist I was—I couldn’t even take a phone call alone.
“Hello?”
“Why are you whispering?” I whispered back.
“I’m in the backseat of my in-laws’ car.”
“Oh, freaking great.”
“Yeah.”
“Does Nash know?”
“Yep.”
“Has he talked to Blake?”
“Um, that is so sweet to invite us. Nash is heading over to Sedotto to meet up with his friend Blake, so maybe another time?”
“Shit!” Rich and I said at the same time.
“Yes, I’m sorry about that.”
“Whose idea was it to meet there?”
She cleared her throat.
“Blake?”
“Yes.”
“Does he have a death wish?”
“It would seem that way, yes.”
“How angry is Nash?”
“Surprisingly? Not at all.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah, my thoughts too.”
“Being in love must make him soft,” Rich said.
I hit him on the chest again. “Shut up, and tell the driver to go to Sedotto! Fast!”
Kaelynn cleared her throat and said, “Maybe that isn’t such a good idea.”
“Why?”
“Just trust me. I’ll text you all the details. Bye.”
“Wait! Kaelynn! Kaelynn!”
The line went dead.
I stared at the phone and then looked at Rich. “She hung up on me.”
Rich took my hands in his. “Listen, I think she’s right, Morgan. You need to let Blake and Nash talk this through.”
“But what if—”
“What? Blake tells him the truth? You have to let him do this on his terms. Please trust me on this, Morgan.”
My hand went to my forehead. I was getting a headache. “I don’t honestly know what Nash will do. And Blake said things to me tonight that had me so confused. He told me he hasn’t been able to catch his breath since he first saw me. But I also know he’s keeping something from me, Rich.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. It’s something that is troubling him.”
Rich gave me a warm smile. “Morgan, I’m going to guess this relationship with Blake has been a whirlwind. Take a breath, and just let things happen. It’s okay to not tell each other everything right at the very beginning. Blake will open up to you, if he really is keeping something in. Just give him time.”
“Do you know what he told me tonight? He saw a therapist for anger issues. That the therapist told him caving would be a great escape. He still does it. He did it this morning. What if I can’t help him? What if he doesn’t trust me, and I can’t—”
Rick put his finger to my mouth. “Stop. Blake is not Mike. Get that into your head right now.”
I wiped a tear away. “I know.”
“Do you? Because what I’m hearing from you sounds like you’re trying to save him from a problem you aren’t even sure exists. Take a deep breath, and let Blake and Nash talk.”
Sweat started to bead on my forehead and neck.
“Is it hot in here?” I asked, cracking the window and taking in a few deep breaths of fresh air. My body was beginning to ache, and my headache was growing worse by the second.
“Why would he ask to talk to Nash tonight?”
Laughing, Rich pulled me close to him and let my head rest on his shoulder.
“Love makes us do crazy things.”
“Love?” I whispered. “That’s impossible, Rich. Blake Greene is not in love with me.”
“I think you’re wrong. And I wasn’t just talking about Blake, Morgan.”
I had been home an hour, changed out of my gown, and took a hot shower. Now I was pacing my living room, waiting for Kaelynn to text me. Everything Blake had said ran over and over in my head. One minute I was swooning over his words, the next I was confused.
When my doorbell rang, I jumped. Glancing over to the TV screen Nash had set up with the security cameras, I saw it was Kaelynn.
“What in the world?” I said, rushing to the door.
“Kaelynn, you shouldn’t be out this late!” I said, pulling her into the house and shutting the door. She was carrying a bag of Blue Bell ice cream. My head was still killing me, even after I had taken three aspirin.
“I told Nash I was coming to spend the night at your place.”
Wringing my hands together, I asked, “Have you heard from Nash?”
“Yep. Two minutes ago. I called him to let him know I was here. He and Blake are on their way to getting drunk. Tucker sent me a text and said he’d make sure they both got home safely.”
“Drunk?” I asked.
“Yep. They started after Nash punched Blake in Tucker’s office.”
I slapped my hand over my mouth as I gasped.
“Blake’s fine. Nash only hit him twice.”
I was stunned. “Twice?”
Kaelynn walked into my kitchen, pulled out two bowls, two spoons, and the ice-cream scoop. “Yeah, once in the jaw and once in the stomach. Tucker said Blake took it well, like a champ.”
I dropped onto the sofa and groaned. “Dear God. All I wanted was one night of raw, hot sex with someone I trusted.”
Kaelynn stopped what she was doing and stared at me. “When I told you to go out and have sex, I didn’t mean with Blake!”
With a shrug, I replied, “It sort of happened. Then it happened again, and then again.”
She pressed her lips together to keep from laughing.
“I always knew you had a thing for him. I suspected it was mutual. I used to always catch him stealing glances your way.”
“Really?” I asked, thinking about Blake’s earlier comment about not being able to breathe since the first time he saw me. I no longer thought he was referring to that night in the bar.
“Really. How was it?” she finally asked.
Reaching for a throw pillow, I pulled it to my chest and hugged it. I could feel my face heating. It felt so good to be finally be able to talk about Blake with someone.
“Amazing. Different from any other guy I’ve been with. Not that I’ve been with many. It’s scary. Thrilling. Romantic. Confusing.”
“I get the scary, thrilling, and romantic, but you lost me at confusing.”
“How? Think how I feel.”
Kaelynn handed me the bowl of ice cream and the chocolate syrup. I sighed and drenched my vanilla ice cream in the syrup.
“I’m listening.”
“I think I want to eat my ice cream first.”
She nodded and waited patiently.
Six bites in, I talked.
“First, let me disclose that I never once thought about cheating on Mike or leaving him.”
She raised a brow.
“I know that sounds like a terrible way to start out. It’s just, the first time I ever met Blake was in college. Nash took me to Tucker’s birthday party. When I met Blake, there was something there. At least on my end there was. A spark. I honestly think had I not been with Mike, I probably would have flirted with him. I mean, he was so hot. Still is.”
Kaelynn giggled, and I continued. “He really wasn’t in my league, but the way he looked at me. I’ll never forget it. My body actually tingled from his stare.”
“Really?” Kaelynn asked.
I nodded. “Yeah. I felt really guilty for feeling that way. We talked for a bit, and once Blake found out I had a boyfriend, he seemed to pull back. I hadn’t really thought about it until tonight, but I remember c
atching him staring at me that whole night. He even offered to give me a ride home. He was a gentleman, though. He never once tried to make a move.”
I blew out a breath.
“I guess I should just start with how this whole thing began recently.”
She spooned ice cream into her mouth and said, “Go on.”
Setting the ice cream on the table, I leaned back and pulled my knees to my chest. “I was at a bar, Butch’s Place, drinking like I always do on the anniversary of Mike’s death. It’s not a good coping mechanism; I know that. Butch is Mike’s father. I told you that, right?”
Kaelynn nodded.
“Anyway, Butch was really there for me when Mike died. The only thing Mike would talk about was some mission he was on that went wrong. A few guys died, and Mike blamed himself. He wasn’t the same after he came home. He spent a lot of time at his father’s bar and even more time near the end back in North Carolina, at the base where he was stationed. I knew he was having a hard time adjusting to civilian life, and he enjoyed being around his former army buddies.”
I shrugged and stared down at the floor. “Anyway, Blake evidently likes this bar too. It’s sort of his safe place as well, but I don’t know why. He hasn’t told me. He happened to be there the night I was there. I’m honestly shocked we hadn’t run into each other there before. According to Butch, Blake’s been coming there since he was twenty-one. Never on the same day, but always during that one week. The same week Mike killed himself.”
Kaelynn listened quietly as I told her the whole story. My proposition of no-strings sex at the café the morning after Blake brought me home. Me going back to the bar a couple weeks later and Blake finding me. The club Blake took me to, the first time up in his condo, the morning I ran into Blake out running, the hotel, me running, and earlier, in the janitor closet. I spilled everything while she sat there, stunned, staring at me with her mouth nearly on the ground.
“You guys had sex in the janitor’s closet tonight?” she asked.
“That’s it? That is the first thing you’re going to say after everything I told you?”
“Well . . . I mean . . . I’ll be honest with you, Morgan, I’m shocked by all of it. Especially the little orgasm in the club.”
I smiled. “It was not little. Trust me.”
She scrunched up her nose and kept talking. “I mean, I get you wanting some meaningless fun, and we even talked about it . . . but Blake? Why in the world would you ask Blake?”
I swallowed hard and wiped at the corners of my eyes, where I felt the tears building. “He was someone I knew and could trust. And let’s be honest, I’ve been attracted to him for a while now. When he moved back to Austin and he would come around, it was hard to ignore the way my body reacted to him.”
Kaelynn giggled. “Please. I knew you both had a thing for each other, and I would honestly be shocked if Nash didn’t suspect it as well.”
I blew out a breath.
“Okay, so get back to you and Blake and why y’all couldn’t keep it to one night only.”
With a drawn-out exhale, I replied, “I don’t know. When we’re together, I can’t describe my feelings, Kaelynn. It’s explosive on so many levels. Even the first time I came—like a whore in the club, all grinding on him—I felt a connection to him I can’t explain.”
Kaelynn shook her head. “You’re not a whore. If Nash and I were in a sexy night club tucked in a corner, I’d do the same thing.”
I chewed on my lip, knowing she was telling me the truth. She motioned for me to go on.
“I’ve never felt these types of feelings before. Not even with Mike, and I know with all my heart I loved Mike. It’s just, there was always something between us. A wall he had put up that kept me from really getting in, or maybe it was me who put up the wall. Maybe we were just comfortable with each other. Even though he asked me to marry him, I couldn’t seem to make him happy, and I’m not 100 percent sure I was truly happy. It was almost like he felt obligated to propose and I felt obligated to say yes because we’d had been together since high school. Maybe I didn’t love him enough to see he was in pain. That he was hurting.”
Kaelynn grabbed my hands and squeezed them. “Don’t you dare do that. Don’t you dare blame his death on you.”
I’d never told Kaelynn about Mike’s confession in his suicide note. I’d only ever told two people besides the police. Those two people were Butch and Nash.
“I don’t, but I can’t help feeling lost. Blake makes me feel treasured. He says things that a man who truly cares about a woman would say. Mike never made me feel this way.” I clutched my hand to my heart. “I feel something completely different with Blake.”
My chin trembled as I looked into Kaelynn’s eyes. “And . . . and I can’t stop myself from thinking that being with Blake has been the most amazing moments of my life. Kaelynn, the way he makes me feel, the way he worships my body and tells me I’m so beautiful. The connection we feel when we make love. I see it in his eyes—I know he feels it too. Then when I really think about it, I’m so angry at Mike for not doing that! For not making me feel like I was completely his. I can’t help but want Blake, and I tried so hard that first night to not want him. I tried so hard to ignore the way my heart feels when he smiles at me. Or the way my body aches for him each time I think of him or I’m near him or he touches me. I feel myself falling in love with him, and I can’t stop it. I don’t think I could stop it even if I wanted to, and I don’t want to.”
“Morgan, I’m pretty positive Blake feels the same way. I wish you could see the way he looks at you.”
I smiled and wiped away a tear. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted. For a man to look at me the way Nash looks at you. The way Tucker and Jim look at Charlie and Terri.”
Kaelynn reached up and kissed me on the forehead, then she frowned.
“Morgan, you’re burning up.”
I OPENED AND closed my mouth while rubbing my jaw.
“Did you have to hit me so hard?” I asked, rubbing the soreness away and letting out a cough. I had finally just gotten my breath back from the sucker punch Nash landed on my stomach.
“You slept with my sister.”
Tucker leaned against his desk, arms folded across his chest and a smirk on his face.
“You appear to be enjoying this,” I spat out.
“Oh, I am. Don’t you worry, I am.”
Nash shook his hand and groaned. “Damn, your jaw is like granite, you asshole.”
Turning to him, I frowned. “I’m so sorry to have hurt your hand when you punched me.”
He shrugged. “It’s okay.”
I rolled my eyes and let out a deep exhale. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It’s just . . . I didn’t know how to tell you, and it all happened so damn fast. The way this whole thing started still has me in a tailspin.”
My gaze lifted to Tucker, and he nodded. I needed to tell Nash everything.
Nash sighed and said, “Then the best place to start is at the beginning.”
I rubbed the back of my neck and exhaled. “First, I need to go back to college.”
“College?” Nash asked, a confused expression on his face.
“When I told you I was leaving after graduating because of the night my mother died, it wasn’t exactly the full truth.”
“Okay.” Nash looked at Tucker then back to me.
“After my mother passed away, I was filled with so much anger and grief, and I vowed I would never let myself fall in love. I couldn’t stand the thought of my heart being ripped from my chest again. Then you brought Morgan to Tucker’s birthday party to introduce her to us.”
Nash leaned back in his chair. “You didn’t.”
“No, no. I would never do that. But the moment I met her . . . I don’t know how to explain it. It felt like she stole the air from the room. I was instantly attracted to her. Then we started talking, and for a quick minute, man, I thought she was attracted to me. Then she told me about Mike. I took her home, dropp
ed her off, and then couldn’t stop thinking about her. Whenever she came around, I wanted her even more. Fuck, I even started making plans to get her to fall for me and leave Mike.”
“What?” Nash said, leaning forward. “Jesus, Blake.”
I nodded. “I know. Then a week before graduation, I met Mike and saw Morgan with him. She looked happy. The way she smiled at him . . . it wasn’t how she smiled at me. I knew then that I needed to leave. I wouldn’t be able to see her with him every day.”
“Dude, why didn’t you tell me?”
With a small shrug, I replied, “I thought it was a fucking infatuation. She was the first woman who ever made me want to share something real. I figured if I left town and hooked up with a few random women in another city, I’d be able to forget about Morgan.”
Nash smiled. “Dude, you think I didn’t notice the way you looked at her when you came back to town? You think any of us didn’t notice?”
I stared at him and then Tucker, who nodded in agreement.
“You knew?”
“Not really, but I suspected you liked my sister. I just figured you thought she was cute, and that was it. I knew the day I saw the two of you together at Town Lake when we were running.”
I ran my fingers through my hair. “Well, shit.”
“Why don’t you skip to how the two of you hooked up.”
Swallowing hard, I leaned back in the chair. “I saw Morgan at a bar. She was pretty drunk.”
Morgan had never shared with Nash how she went to Butch’s Place each year on the anniversary of Mike’s death, so I left that part out.
“When I saw her, I knew I couldn’t leave her there, so I made sure she got home. I brought her into her house, and that was it. Besides leaving her a note and some Advil for in the morning, I left. I didn’t touch her, and nothing happened, I swear to you. I won’t lie and tell you I wasn’t tempted to kiss her when she asked me to, but I’m not that kind of guy. You know that.”
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