Roslyn ended her story, wiping away a few more tears and 4B could feel her mother studying her, waiting for her reaction, wondering if any of it would jog 4B’s memory. But she felt nothing. Not as it pertained to her, anyway. She did feel put off by the smarmy proposal, though. Who does that sort of thing? And who accepts that sort of thing? Was she the kind of person who did? Clueless and all caught up in appearances and hokey tradition? She wondered if she was going to like herself when she started to really remember. The idea scared her a little.
“That’s such a… romantic story,” she lied. Saying what she thought her mother wanted to hear. “I wish I remembered. I really do. But there’s just this big blank.”
Her mother’s hopeful expression turned to dismay, and then just as quickly opened up, as an idea hit her.
“I know something that might help. I pulled some stuff out last night. It might jog your memory,” said Roslyn as she stood. “I’ll be right back.”
A few minutes later she was back with a pile of oversized leather-bound binders in her arms.
“These are your photo albums,” said Roslyn placing them on the table. “I was going to give them to you last night, but you looked so tired from the trip back. I’d hoped to go through them with you, but I have so much work to do before my trip to Washington tomorrow. I was supposed to be in D.C. yesterday. Flying out to Alaska set my schedule back a little.” 4B felt terrible for the trouble she was causing. Her mother must have seen it on her face. “I wouldn’t change a thing, though.” Roslyn stood there and patted the stack of albums. Then she leaned down to give her a hug. “Look through these. See if it helps. Pictures of Kev’s proposal are in there somewhere, too. I had a professional photographer capture everything. I don’t leave until tomorrow. I’ll be in my office if you need me.”
Roslyn stood and kissed the top of 4B’s head, lingering to hug her again. The perfume her mother wore was familiar and 4B took it in with a deep breath. The scent lingered long after she watched her mother disappear down the hall into the back of the house. She picked up the now tepid cup of coffee her mother had brought her, pulled the top album from the stack, set it before her, and opened the cover.
For the next two hours 4B flipped through the albums and watched herself grow up. The scenes were familiar in a way, but it wasn’t like the familiarity that came with having experienced the moments. That kind of familiar was still just beyond her grasp. But it seemed to dance closer as she watched her childhood march toward adulthood.
When she reached her teenaged years, the pictures contained many with the girl she now knew was Layce. They seemed close. Best friends. She peeled up one of the pictures. Written on the back, in her own handwriting was, Me and Layce at the Branton Boat Club and the date. In the picture, they were on the water in rowing regalia with a few other girls their age. Their hair was pulled back, cheeks flushed from the sun and exercise. 4B was in front and was lying back against Layce. Layce’s arm was draped casually over 4B’s shoulder, while the other was propped on a scull. It was the pose of two girls who spent a lot of time together. They looked happy and carefree. A feeling of nostalgia welled up in 4B’s chest.
She pressed the photo back into place on the sticky sheet and reaffixed the plastic.
There were five albums in total, the last two contained mostly loose photos dropped between pages, as if the pace of life had gotten in the way of organizing memories. 4B shuffled through the photos and occasionally found herself drawn to a picture, but she didn’t remember them. She found the photos of the engagement party her mother had described. One showed Kev on his knee. It was posed and her smile seemed forced.
Early afternoon had rolled into late afternoon and 4B’s disquiet was building. Her head was full of the many still frames from the photos she had looked at. Something was simmering underneath it all, but it wasn’t ready to break the surface. Nora had said she would call when she got back from the trip with Tack, but 4B picked up her new cell phone and thought about calling Nora anyway. Just listening to Nora’s recorded message would be better than not hearing her voice at all. Her phone had been on silent all day and two more missed calls from Kev showed in her status screen. She dismissed them and her finger was poised over the dial button when her phone rang. Nora’s name came up on the screen.
“I was just about to call you,” she said into the phone with a smile. She hadn’t even heard Nora’s voice yet, but her disquiet abated as soon as she lifted the phone to her ear.
“We just landed. I haven’t even helped Tack tie the plane down, yet.” Nora sounded breathless and 4B could hear the sounds of the airport in the background. “The plane was still taxiing to the hanger when I jumped out and ran in to call you.”
“Do you need to go? You can call back when you’re free.”
“I couldn’t wait to talk to you,” said Nora, and 4B heard a smile in her voice. She rubbed the center of her chest. “But, I really should help Tack get the plane settled. I’ll call you as soon as I get up to the house, okay? Give me forty-five minutes?”
“Sure. I’ll be waiting,” said 4B. The anxiety that had been building all day was replaced with a tingling expectation. She gathered the albums and notebook and went up to her room to wait for Nora’s call.
4B was lying on her bed, her back against the headboard, finishing the sketch she had started of Nora, when the phone rang again.
“I missed you today,” said 4B, when she answered on the first ring, not bothering with the usual hellos.
“I miss you every day,” replied Nora, making 4B smile. “If I could, I’d never hang up with you. I’d have you chained to your cell and chat your ear off until you were sick of me.”
“I don’t think it’s possible—the getting sick of you part. I feel the same way. It’s been hard not being able to call you today,” admitted 4B.
“I’m glad it isn’t only me, then,” said Nora with a chuckle.
4B felt herself emerging from the funk she had been in all day. They talked about Nora’s work and 4B described how she had been going through old photo albums. She described her childhood friends, Layce and Kev, but not that Kev was her fiancé. Part of her hoped that if she didn’t think about it, it might go away.
“It’s so hard being cooped up like this when I don’t know what I usually do to pass the time. I don’t even know what kinds of books I like to read. I drew a picture of you today, though. Apparently, I can draw.” 4B looked at the sketch on the top sheet of the pad of paper lying in her lap. She ran her finger along the strong line of Nora’s chin.
“Really? I wanna see. Take a picture of it and send it to me?”
4B stared at the drawing and wished Nora were with her.
“Right now?” she asked.
“Yeah. Take it with your phone and send it to me. I’ll wait.”
4B snapped the picture and sent it to Nora. Unlike her earlier nonchalance about showing it to her mother, the thought of Nora seeing the drawing made her nervous. She bit back the impulse to offer excuses about its quality. She knew it was good—it was the intimacy in what she captured that made her shy.
“Okay, you should get it in a second.”
“Oh, there it is now, hold on.” 4B heard Nora say “Wow” from far away and then there were a few sounds of movement before Nora got back on the phone. “You drew that? From memory?” Nora sounded impressed and 4B let out the breath she’d been holding. “It’s really good, baby. So real.” 4B loved the sound of appreciation in Nora’s voice and a hot tingle moved through her. Nora’s voice dropped with her next words and another, more intense feeling washed through 4B. “Is it a drawing of when we were, um…? The look in my eyes seems to be… very…” Nora didn’t finish, but 4B knew what she was saying. She had seen it, too.
“It’s the first time I saw your face. When I woke up. You get a similar look when you’re about to kiss me.”
4B heard Nora take a breath, but she was quiet for a moment. When Nora spoke again, she heard the longing in
Nora’s voice. “I wish I could kiss you now,” whispered Nora. Goosebumps rose across 4B’s skin.
“Me too. I ache for it.” 4B rubbed the center of her chest again and she thought about how true it was that emotions resided in a person’s heart.
They were quiet for a moment and 4B felt a ripple of tight need broadcast from her, tugging at the connection she felt with Nora, even though they were physically thousands of miles apart.
“How are you doing? Are you doing okay? Is being home helping?” asked Nora.
4B let out a short laugh. “Honestly, I’m going insane. It’s only been a day and I don’t know what to do with myself.”
“Are you feeling pressure to remember?”
“My parents are patient. They’re trying to nudge things along, but they aren’t pushing me. A few people have asked to visit, but I’m not ready for that. I guess I’m bored, though. And a little lonely.”
“I’m not sure you’d like living up here, then,” said Nora. “The weather can get pretty extreme. It gets so cold in the winter. People tend to go into a kind of hibernation. We don’t leave our houses unless we have to. Often, we can’t even get out if we wanted to. It can get very lonely and boring up here, too.”
4B thought about being snowed in with Nora and knew it wouldn’t be much of a hardship. Ways they’d entertain themselves filled her mind. She felt her face get hot with some of the details that came to mind.
“I don’t know. I kind of liked it up there,” she said, wondering if her voice revealed her carnal imaginings. “I miss it, actually.”
“You do?” asked Nora, and 4B could hear the smile in her voice again.
“I do. It’s pretty there. There’s so much open space,” explained 4B. “But, I think it’s the people that are the real draw for me.”
“There are some pretty great people up here,” agreed Nora.
“Yep. Some of them are more wonderful than others,” teased 4B.
“Wonderful, huh?” asked Nora. 4B could almost see the little smile line appear next to Nora’s mouth.
“Mind-blowing, actually.”
Nora’s next question surprised her.
“What are you wearing?”
4B glanced down at herself. She had pulled on the first comfortable clothes she had found in the dresser that morning; a Harvard sweatshirt, which had seen better days, and a pair of threadbare shorts. One of her hands rested on her stomach under the fabric of her sweatshirt. Her skin was warm and soft against her palm. She wanted to say she was wearing something sexy, but she chickened out.
“Soccer shorts and a sweatshirt.”
“Oh…”
“What were you expecting?” teased 4B, pretty sure Nora’s thoughts were closer to the sexy thing than the reality.
“Nothing really,” replied Nora.
“Nothing?” asked 4B suggestively and then laughed.
Nora cleared her throat.
“Well, that too, but what I meant to say was, when I think about you, I picture you in jeans and a sweatshirt.” There was a sight pause, and then she added: “Or nothing at all.”
“What if I told you I wasn’t wearing anything at all?” 4B was breathless all of a sudden.
There was a moment of silence.
“I’d like that.”
A tremor passed through 4B.
“Really? Because I can make it true.”
“Then do it,” said Nora, and a shiver ran down 4B’s spine.
“Only if you do, too,” said 4B. She nestled the phone between her ear and her shoulder as she slid her shorts and panties down.
“Okay,” said Nora, her voice was hardly more than a whisper, but it made 4B’s heart race.
“Where are you?” asked 4B after she pulled her sweatshirt off. She was naked now, since she hadn’t been wearing a bra. She settled into the pillows against her headboard. She wondered if she should lock her bedroom door, but didn’t get up, lest she break the tenuous courage that would allow her to do what she hoped they were about to do.
“In my room. On my bed,” said Nora.
4B pictured Nora, nude, spread across her bed. She could see the room with vivid clarity, but the body she saw in her mind was all she was interested in. Her heart hammered in her chest.
“Are you done yet?”
“We’ve barely gotten started,” said Nora with a slow laugh.
“I meant, are you done removing your clothes,” 4B laughed, drawing her fingers up her abdomen.
“Yes,” said Nora, and 4B heard her swallow. “Are you?”
“Yes. I’m lying on my bed.”
“And…?”
“… and I’ve got my legs spread,” said 4B, opening her legs as she spoke.
“Are you touching yourself?” Nora’s voice was husky and 4B’s core throbbed at the sound.
“Do you want me to?” asked 4B, reaching down to feel how wet she was. She slipped her finger once through her slick folds and shivered at the touch.
“Yes, and I want you to tell me how it feels.”
“It feels good. Warm and wet. Are you touching yourself, too? Will you make yourself come while I tell you how it feels to touch myself?”
4B heard a small gasp, and when Nora responded, 4B’s heartbeat accelerated to hear the tone she recognized from when they made love.
“Yes. God, the sound of your voice is almost enough. I’m so ready. I want you to describe what you’re doing.”
4B slid her fingers between her legs and around the hard knot of nerves that were beginning to pulse.
“I’m very wet.”
“I am too,” whispered Nora.
“My lips are swollen, and my clit is getting harder. I’m spreading my legs wider…” 4B moaned as she slid down to lie flat on the bed, her legs spread, the cool air wafting over her heat.
“Are you touching your clit?”
“I can’t. It’s too sensitive. I’m circling it. And it feels good, really, really good,” whispered 4B. Her voice hitched as she drew her finger near the spot that twitched when she barely touched it. “I could make myself come right now, if I rubbed it. If I thought about you touching me.” She breathed in through her teeth. “But I want to… feel this a little longer.”
“I’m thinking about putting my fingers inside of you as you stroke yourself,” said Nora, and 4B’s center clenched as she thought about Nora sliding her fingers deep into her wet need.
4B moaned again as her fingers entered the slick well between her legs. “Ah, you feel so good inside of me. I want you deeper…”
“I am, baby. I am. Deep inside of you. I feel you tightening around my fingers.”
“Oh, yes…” 4B’s voice was breathy, and she imagined she felt the moist expiration of Nora’s breath against her neck as she envisioned Nora moving above her.
“Are you coming yet?” whispered Nora, and her voice trembled in 4B’s ear. She could see Nora’s eyes in her mind, dark with need, her hand working quickly between her legs. The first surge of orgasm drenched her hand at the thought.
“Close. I want you to come with me. I want to see you.”
“I’m putting my fingers inside and then pulling them out. It’s you… you’re inside, so far, so deep… you’re thrusting faster, and faster…” Nora’s voice faded away as the sounds of her breathing vibrated in 4B’s ear. She could see Nora fucking herself, her orgasm building. The sensation filled 4B’s body and her hips rose from the bed.
“It is me, baby,” she said hoarsely. “I’m inside of you right now. But now I’m putting my mouth on you, tasting you, sucking you. God, you taste so good, feel so good… I can feel your…”
“I’m going to come… I’m coming now, it’s so… oh, god…” panted Nora into her ear, and the words were all it took to trigger an explosion of energy through 4B’s center.
“I’m coming...” said 4B as her hand flew in circles over her clit. She could feel more moisture spill out as her hips jack-knifed off of the bed.
“Oh… oh! I’m
coming, too. Coming with you…”
The only sounds on the line were their ragged breathing as 4B’s orgasm rolled on and the strangled sounds spilling from their throats as they voiced their ecstasy to one another. Finally, their moans began to subside and 4B relaxed onto the bed, her core throbbing with the residual shudders coursing through her body. She moved her fingers slowly over the swollen flesh between her legs and longed for the feel of Nora’s body settling over hers, heavy and sweaty. She wanted to taste Nora’s throat and feel the kisses Nora would have trailed down her neck before she took her into her arms and held her as the storm subsided and they relaxed around one another. 4B rolled onto her side and felt an absence more profound than she thought she could bear.
“I wish you were here. I want to hold you,” she whispered as she held the phone to her ear with one hand and wrapped her other arm around a pillow.
“Me too, baby.”
The phone was ringing when 4B stepped out of the shower in the bathroom adjoining her bedroom. She threw on her robe and wrapped the towel around her head before she answered it. She hoped it was Nora. Her pulse raced at the memory of their call from the evening before.
“Hello,” she said into the receiver as she sat on the edge of her bed without checking the caller ID. She slipped her hand into the top part of her robe and rubbed the skin of her upper chest.
“Hi, Elizabeth,” said a male voice. “It’s me.” He cleared his throat. “Kev.”
“Oh,” said 4B, pulling her hand out of her robe and tightening the tie around her waist. “How… how are you?”
“I’m good,” he said, and there was a pause. “I didn’t think you’d answer. Your mom said you were still sorting things out. But I had to try.” There was a pause. “God, this is weird. How are you?”
Chasing Mercury Page 27
