by Laura Acton
You can’t … this is my mess to fix. Jon inhaled through his nose and blew out an elongated breath. “I don’t mean to be an ass.”
“I know … and you aren’t … but you’re withdrawing from us.” Jen put her hand on his knee, hoping he wouldn’t move away from her touch.
Jon’s gunmetal gray eyes sought out Jen’s light blue irises. As much as he wanted to confide in her, he couldn’t break his word to Boss, Bram, and Ray to keep the relationship between Dan and Lexa secret. He also worried he would perceive damnation in her eyes if she ever found out how he mistreated Dan. He couldn’t take that risk. “I’m sorry … just a lot on my mind.”
“Allow Jen in … take succor in her arms,” Joseph whispered.
Rising from his seat, holding Jen’s hand, Jon pulled his wife to him and wrapped his arms around her. He drew in a long breath as she embraced him and she said, “I love you, Jonathan Hardy … I always will.”
Henry Cooke’s Home – 9:00 p.m.
Speaking with a fellow old-timer at dinner helped Henry make his decision. When he arrived home from the tavern, he removed his favorite picture of Ellie from the frame. He kissed it and said out loud, “Ellie, my kitten, gonna be with you sooner than I expected.” He tucked the small picture in his left breast pocket of his flannel shirt and went to his desk, pulling out a fresh sheet of Ellie’s favorite stationery, and penned his missive.
Once done, he emptied the fridge of perishables and took out the trash. When he came back inside, he stopped and peered at the letter on the counter which came in the mail this morning. Opening the envelope, he reread the dispatch from Detective Arbor. After fourteen years, they had a break in the attack on Ellie.
A DNA match was found between the saliva on a soda can from his home and the swab of spittle the police had taken from Ellie’s face many years ago. The Crown Attorney decided to add Ellie’s assault to the list of crimes to be brought against the ex-constables who abducted him and stole his vehicle.
Henry set the paper down on his counter and went to his bedroom. He moved the well-worn rug and lifted the hidden trap door in the floor. After removing a small velveteen box, he peered inside. Never wanted these. I only did my job, and I happened to be damned good. He rose and carried the box full of military awards to his nightstand. No one to leave these to … perhaps Niko would want them.
Returning to the hidey-hole, Henry pulled out his M1911A1 semi-automatic pistol and his single bolt action sniper rifle before closing the door and replacing the rug. Sitting at the kitchen table, he carefully cleaned and loaded his weapons. Though he had not planned to take action, fate intervened when Niko offered to drive him to the city on the seventeenth.
I will right an injustice. Those demons responsible for demolishing my life and hurting my Kitten will pay the price. Then I will come to you, Ellie. My life is empty without you.
Love from Afar
41
May 16
Ridgewater Chalet – 10:00 a.m.
Enjoying the beautiful spring day, Dan sat in a comfortable chair outside on the terrace with a light blanket draped over his lap. As of yesterday morning, he received clearance to walk around the chalet but instructed to take it easy. Wanting to feel the cool mountain breeze on his face, Dan readily accepted Wilson’s offer to move one of the plush chairs to the deck for him after Mom and Bella gave their approval of his desire.
Sipping his coffee, Dan let his mind wander. After much soul-searching in the past few days, he came to a few conclusions. He needed both Lexa and his team to survive. One without the other would not be sufficient. He would be right back in a dark place without them. Although forgiving Jon for his hurtful words might take time, he recognized Jon’s actions stemmed from concern for Lexa … something Dan understood.
Though a painful decision, Dan must give up hope of ever having a romantic relationship with Lexa for them both to remain with Alpha Team … if Boss allowed them to stay. His choice would enable him to be near Lexa every work day as her colleague and retain the ability to protect her … something primeval and paramount in his decision criteria.
His love for her would never end, but those emotions must be kept hidden in his heart and not expressed openly. He would adore and safeguard his soulmate from afar. For him, there would never be anyone besides Lexa, so he decided to become a confirmed bachelor like Wilson, Blaze, Winds, and Adam.
Letting her go hurt, but he loved her enough to make the sacrifice while considering her needs first. He could never ask Lexa to leave the team. Lexa needed them as much, if not more than he did. Though she never talked much about her biological family, Dan presumed they ostracized her.
The little she did share, told Dan their abandonment was real unlike what he had erroneous believed about his family forsaking him. Although Lexa had a couple of girlfriends, Amy being the closest one, Lexa would be alone without their team. They were her surrogate family. Boss replaced her father, while Jon, Bram, Ray, and Loki stood in for her four brothers.
Dan couldn’t bring himself to think of himself as one of her brothers. He would settle for being her teammate and friend. He desired to be for her what Bram was for him … a trusted confidant whom she sought out whenever she needed a safe harbor or comfort. He wished to provide that to her without expecting anything in return.
Standing back as she moved on and found another guy would be awkward, but he wanted her to be happy and wouldn’t be an obstacle for her if she found love with another man. His love for her so vast and unending, Dan would endure the pain of watching her build a life without him. It wouldn’t be easy, but he would find the strength to always be her best friend.
His thoughts turned to Nick and Jon. He had made some decisions there too. He tried hard to see it from their point of view. The words still hurt, but he understood most of it. That pain would pass with a little time. Maybe more than just a little; they cut deep and to the core of his insecurities. He never believed he measured up, a residual from his screwed-up childhood perceptions of what his father wanted. Others were always more important than him.
Nick displayed some compassion that night. Fairly certain Boss reviewed the verbal lashing he meted out in the light of day and regretted much of what he said, Dan didn’t begrudge Boss’ protectiveness of Lexa. Although she was a strong and capable woman, her family wounded her heart deeply. Dan recognized Boss sought to prevent Lexa from experiencing more heartache.
Dan believed Nick would review the entire event like a debrief, and would identify where they went off the rails. What Dan remained uncertain about is what Boss would do. Although Boss indicated the only repercussion would be the two-week forced vacation, if the brass got wind of the rule infraction, Boss might have no choice but to dismiss or transfer him to another team.
Before he returned, which would be longer than the fourteen-day holiday now since his wounds would take several weeks to heal, Dan must talk to Boss to find out where things stood. Dan was not quite ready for that conversation. Nor was he prepared for the one he must ultimately have with Jon if he stayed on Alpha.
After almost two years, Dan still found Jon hard to decipher. Though he now recognized Jon used anger as his go-to emotion when he believed anyone on the team did something which put them in unnecessary risk to shield his concern for their well-being. But in this case, the rage and words Jon flung at him were meant to be cutting and derogatory.
Dan spent a lot of time in the last day or so chiding himself that he should have a thicker skin and brush off Jon’s words, but he found it difficult to do this time. He realized it was hard because of all people, he didn’t expect Jon to purposely inflict pain.
Although they got off to a rocky start, things changed after Jon gave him the gun case with the inscription inside that read, Welcome to Alpha Team. You belong here, and you make a difference! He began to view Jon in much the same manner as he did Blaze when he first joined Blaze’s unit. And he had started to trust him, particularly after the whole Plouffe thing
and all the events surrounding him being shot in the chest.
Jon understood how much he had been hurt in his life, and for Hardy to intentionally cause him pain … Dan had to stop thinking about Jon at the moment. He needed more time before dealing with Jon’s betrayal.
Needing to focus on something more optimistic for a while, Dan shifted his thoughts to Loki. A genuine smile came to his face as he thought about what Wilson did for Loki in his name. Wilson got a kick out of telling him he deliberately sent the gifts in a plain wrapper and no names.
Wilson recalled how his Special Forces explosives tech handled such packages. He believed it would give Loki something to do as he prudently inspected the unmarked box. Dan appreciated the note Wilson sent too. It would’ve been precisely what he would’ve said had his mind been clear.
Yvonne observed Dan from inside the chalet. She smiled when he grinned. Thank goodness. The first real smile since we arrived here. Wonder what brought that to his face? She opened the door, meandered out, and leaned down to kiss his cheek. The swelling of his face had almost disappeared, but the bruising remained quite colorful. His careful movements also came with fewer grimaces, and they had backed off the pain medication a bit.
Sitting near Danny, Yvonne inquired, “What are you smiling about?”
“The team, Loki in particular,” Dan responded but did not expound.
Yvonne understood why he smiled. She remembered all the pranks Dan described Loki pulling when he visited home at Christmas, especially their seven swans a-sinking stunt on another TRF team. Both she and Bella did not push for any information, allowing Dan the space he needed to process his emotions. Though they made themselves available to listen, most often they ended up sitting silently with him as he stared off into the trees.
Noting Dan dressed in jeans instead of pajamas today, and he wore shoes, which she assumed Wilson assisted with putting on, since bending remained too painful for Dan, Yvonne said, “Care to take a short stroll in the woods?”
The light shining from Danny’s eyes almost took Yvonne’s breath away. Her son hated to be idle and chafed against complying with all the doctor’s restrictions. Danny itched to move more than allowed.
Dan gaped at his mom. “You’d let me do that?”
“So long as Wilson and I go with you and you don’t overdo it. You are aware of your limits. I expect you to stay within them, and ask for assistance if you need any.”
He threw off the blanket and slowly stood. He gave Mom a lopsided grin as he offered her his arm. “Shall we?” Then he called over his shoulder, “Hey, Wilson, Mom’s letting me go for a walk, wants you to come.”
Wilson put down his coffee and grabbed a small rucksack which contained water, Dan’s pain meds, and most importantly a satellite phone. He wouldn’t go unprepared on this little trip, mainly because he overheard Yvonne telling Bella about the time Adam and Dan went out mountain biking during his rehab last fall and a Broderick army was sent out to find them when they failed to return on time.
Woods Near Ridgewater Chalet – 10:40 a.m.
Taking it slow, Dan strolled along the path with Mom next to him and Wilson following a few paces behind. Being in nature tended to soothe his soul. It was a place where things made sense. Dan sighed as a pleasant memory came to him.
Content to walk with Danny in silence, his soft sigh caused Yvonne to turn her head and peer up at her beloved son. The peace she viewed on his face made her smile.
“SFATB Yukon wasn’t all bad,” Dan shared.
His comment surprised Yvonne. “I’m glad to hear that. Care to share why?” Yvonne probed lightly.
Dan chuckled. “A couple of reasons. Do you recall Brock?”
Yvonne nodded. “Theo Brock was a godsend.”
“At the time I didn’t realize the general, um, … Dad,” Dan noted the use of the familial term brought a smile to Mom’s face, “asked for volunteers. I enjoyed my time with Brock. He played tag with me the day I met him. He instilled a love of running outdoors in me, which I believe in all probability helped me more than anything else. When we went for long runs, I always felt … free and maybe happy.”
Somewhat winded by his thirty-minute walk, Dan steered them towards a flat rock and lowered himself to it. His mom sat beside him as Wilson handed him a bottle of water. As he uncapped it, he continued, “I learned all the terrain around the base when Brock took me on runs. Came in handy when Brody and I did our training there.” He chuckled again. “We had a bit of an unfair advantage over the other trainees when it came to the navigation part of the evolution. I guess I have Dutch to thank for his training too.”
Yvonne patted Dan’s thigh. “I liked Dutch and Buzz … wonderful gentlemen.”
Dan scrunched his face. “You knew them?”
Realizing her faux pas, Yvonne came clean … a little, “Bella kept me apprised of your life … just as your dad did. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and alter the course of your childhood. Loving you from afar was difficult. I wanted to be the one to hold you and dry your tears, to be the one you came to with a gleeful smile as you succeeded in an endeavor.”
She clasped his hand. “I am eternally grateful for all those who helped you when I couldn’t be there for you. Bella, Wilson, Brock, Duffy, Dutch, Buzz, Brody, your unit, and a host of others.”
Dan gazed at his mother … deep into her emerald eyes. “You loved me so much you let me go … but you were never far. You expressed your love and protected me by creating a safe harbor for me by surrounding me with people who cared for me. That must’ve been agonizing for you.”
Yvonne inhaled shakily. “Yes, but a mother can endure separation if it is what is best for her child.” Her hand moved to his cheek and cupped his face. “I’m happy we have now. I maintained hope, and God saw fit to grant my heart’s wish … my son grew strong and true and eventually came back to me. I treasure every day you are alive and rejoice when we are together.”
Dan grasped his mom’s hand and kissed the back of it. “I love you, Mom. Thank you for everything you did for me … as a kid and in the past year.”
Wilson wiped a tear away, feeling like an interloper on a private interlude between mother and son. He quietly took several steps back, wanting to give them space. Regrettably, he was not paying attention to what was behind him. He tripped over a log and went tumbling down an embankment.
Their serene moment interrupted by Wilson’s shout, brought Dan to his feet, faster than he should’ve risen. He sucked in a breath as pain lanced his right side, but he still moved towards where Wilson stood only moments before. Dan peered over the edge of the steep ravine as Wilson rolled down and his head struck a rock.
“Wilson, are you injured?” he called out as Keswick’s body came to a halt, sprawled out on the ground. When he didn’t answer, Dan turned back to Mom. “I’m going down to check on him.”
“Dan, I’ll go … you’re in no condition to be …” Yvonne trailed off as her son’s expression morphed into one she had seen numerous times over the years on her stubborn husband’s face. She wouldn’t be changing his mind. “Be careful, please.”
“Will do.” Dan picked his way down while calling to Wilson, who didn’t reply. His muscles revolted against the exertion used to navigate the precipitous gulch, and he almost fell twice but caught himself by grabbing bushes.
Reaching the bottom, he took a knee, softly groaned, and began a visual inspection. He noted a bump on Wilson’s head, but no bleeding. Next, Dan checked his limbs, and luckily found nothing broken. Wilson’s eyes blinked open as he lifted Wilson’s wrist to take his pulse. “What’s your name?”
Wilson moaned, embarrassed. “Wilson Keswick. It’s May sixteenth. I’m hiking with you and Yvonne near Bella’s chalet … and I’m a klutz.”
Dan chuckled. “For once it is you and not me. How’s your head? You got a goose egg forming.”
Pushing up with his hands, Wilson sat and huffed. “I’m fine.”
His brows raising, D
an challenged, “Fine or okay?”
Wilson chuckled as he recalled Dan’s definition of F.I.N.E. “Okay.” He glanced up at the hill he toppled down. “You didn’t hurt yourself coming after me, did you?”
“Nope. Think you can stand?” Dan grimaced as he stood, not looking forward to the climb back up, but thankful Wilson appeared to be alright … he could’ve broken his neck in the fall.
Wilson shrugged off the rucksack and pulled out a small vial. He shook out two pills. “You’re hurting … you went beyond your limit … my fault, not yours. Take these before we head back up.”
Yvonne cupped her hands around her mouth and hollered down to them, “Do we need to call for help?”
“No, we’re alright. We’re gonna take it slow coming up.” Dan met and held Wilson’s concerned and guilt-ridden gaze before he capitulated and grudgingly took the pills from him. He washed them down with water then held out a hand to Wilson to help him off the ground.
It took them an extended amount of time going up with Wilson limping and Dan’s muscles begrudging his movements. When they reached the top, both rested on the flat rock as Yvonne gave them the once-over before declaring them fit enough to start back to Bella’s chalet.
Dan grinned at Wilson when they rose, and Wilson took a halting step. “Bella isn’t gonna be pleased. Mark my words, she is going to send you to bed with an ice pack, and call the doc to examine you to ensure nothing’s broken.”
Wilson groaned as Dan chuckled. “Misery does like company.”
Yvonne smiled as Danny’s laughter brightened her day and filled her heart with joy. He might be dealing with distressing issues, a lot for him to sort out and cope with, but her boy had not lost his sense of humor, which would keep him in the light.
