by Laura Acton
Upon arriving, Jon parked in his driveway, switched off the ignition, and hopped out without bothering to attempt to awaken Dan. He inserted the house key to the lock and once inside punched in the code to turn off the alarm. He strode straight to the guest room on the main floor, flicked on the lamp then flung back the bedcovers before heading back to his truck, leaving the front door ajar.
Reaching the vehicle, Jon carefully opened the passenger door because Dan’s head still rested on the window. He shook his rookie’s shoulder. “Dano, need you to wake a little.” Receiving no response, Jon sighed and hoped his next move didn’t startle the ex-soldier and he didn’t end up on his ass with Dan straddling him again.
He repositioned Dan, turning him, so his front faced him. Dan appeared to be dead to the world, not even a flutter of an eyelash. Jon pulled him on to his shoulder and lifted him using a fireman’s carry. Turning, he kicked the truck’s door closed. After entering his home, he nudged the entry door shut with his foot. In the spare room, he bent and with care laid Dan on the sheeted mattress then proceeded to untie and remove Dan’s boots.
As Jon draped the covers over him, he marveled at the fact Dan had not stirred at all. “Night, Dano. Rest well.” On his way out, he turned off the light and closed the bedroom door.
After locking up and arming the security system again, Jon trudged up the stairs. He decided to peek into his boys’ bedrooms. He spied Kent’s curly mop. The boy needs a haircut. Going to Joey’s room he noted his son kicked off the covers. After tucking his little boy in, he grinned at the racecar bed. It will be a sad day when Joey outgrows the bed Nick gave him. It still surprised him, that Nick let go of the material things belonging to Martin. Nick would’ve been an excellent dad … correction, he was an awesome one for four years.
Closing Joey’s door, he went to his room and changed in the dark before crawling into bed next to Jennifer. Jon scooted up close to her back and draped an arm over her, thankful to have a loving wife to come home to each day. He couldn’t do the job he did without Jen in his life.
Jen stirred and in a sleepy voice said, “Home late.”
He kissed the nape of her neck. “Yeah.”
She turned in his arms to face him, smiled and kissed him. “Did you work everything out?”
“Yeah. Oh, and so you don’t freak out in the morning, Dan’s in the guest room. Jet lag wiped him out, and he didn’t rouse when I drove him to his apartment. The elevator at his place is habitually broken, so I decided it would be easier to carry him inside here than up ten flights.”
Jen cuddled closer and closed her eyes. “Good call, missed him coming to dinners the past few months. I’ll make waffles for brunch. That boy eats take-out alone too often … needs someone to care for him.”
“Twenty-nine isn’t a boy.” Jon chuckled as he caressed Jen’s back making small circles.
“Is too,” Jen murmured as sleep claimed her again.
Jon gazed at his wife as the moonlight illuminated her lovely face. “You’re right … as always. I’ll take care of him. We all will … he’s family. I won’t fail him again.” Jon pressed his lips softly to Jen’s cheek and shut his eyes.
Jon’s Home – 10:50 a.m.
A delicious aroma tempted Dan to rouse, and he inhaled deeply. His foggy mind couldn’t place it, but the next moment his brain engaged and he was fully awake though he maintained his well-honed façade of sleep. Where Am I? There would be nothing cooking at my place. The last thing I recall is getting into Jon’s truck.
All tension erased as a familiar voice, one breaking in high and low pitches which came with the transition from boy to man, as Kent shouted, “Mom, you sure I can’t wake Dan up yet? The waffles are almost ready.”
Jennifer answered, “Your dad and Dan were out late. Let Dan sleep. He’ll be up when he’s up and not before.”
“Ah, Mom, but I wanted some time to hang out with him before they go shoot,” Kent griped back in a tone only a teenager can pull off.
Dan smiled as Jennifer told Kent to hold his horses and to watch his tone. He stretched slowly. Jon’s spare bed is comfortable. I must’ve been more wiped out than I realized. I don’t know how I ended up here. Dan rolled over and glanced at a clock on the desk. Wow, almost eleven. He rubbed his face as he sat up and swung his feet to the floor. At a light knock on the door, Dan said, “Enter.”
A mop of curly, light-brown hair peeked in as a happy voice said, “Cool, you’re up.” Kent bounded into the room and plopped down beside Dan. “Mom’s making waffles. She whipped up a mega batch of batter. Bet you I can eat more than you today.”
“You’re on.” Dan’s stomach growled with anticipation.
“I’m gonna win this time.” Kent grinned and jumped off the bed.
Dan chuckled, quite possible, Jon’s teen surprised him by completing the Farrell’s ice cream parlor ‘Sink’ challenge last December. He followed Kent out to the kitchen after putting on his boots. “Morning, Jennifer. Smells delicious.” He merely nodded to Jon who sat at the table with a steaming mug of coffee. Jon gave him a nod back … all that was needed to communicate thanks and the response anytime.
“Kent, I told you to let Dan sleep,” Jennifer admonished as she gave Kent a motherly glare.
“I was awake, no worries,” Dan interjected.
Jennifer roved an assessing eye over Dan. He appeared to be the picture of health. After Jon shared how badly the convicts beat him, she had been so worried. Jen gave him a friendly smile. “You know where the mugs are. Help yourself to coffee. First batch of waffles coming up in a second.”
Dan nodded and grinned. As he ambled to the cabinet to grab a mug, Joey ran in, and Dan was glad he had not picked up the pot yet when the five-year-old bundle of energy plowed into his leg and proceeded to hug his waist. He tousled his hair. “Hey, kiddo.”
“Uncle Dan you’re here. I beat the racing game … wanna see?” Joey released Dan and stepped back as he scrunched up his face and searched around his uncle.
“Sure, in a bit.” Pouring the coffee, Dan missed Joey’s quizzical expression. After he took a seat, Dan asked Kent, “So buddy what do ya want to do after we eat?”
Joey climbed into the chair next to Dan, tugged on his arm, and before Kent could answer he blurted out, “Where’s your baby?”
All eyes turned to Joey as Dan said, “What?”
“The baby … where is it?”
Dan glanced at Jon and then Jen hoping they would shed light on Joey’s odd query, but both appeared as flummoxed as him. “Why do you think I would have a baby?”
“Cause at Leslie’s party Miss Kinsey said you went to a beach to pick out babies, and you liked to play with all kinds, and you aren’t picky about hair color and stuff. I just hope you got the boy ‘cause girls are icky.”
Unsure how to answer, Dan turned to Jon for help but found him snickering. Jen rescued him.
“Now, Joey, what have I told you about listening in on others conversations?” Jen struggled not to smirk as she eyed Joey.
“But I didn’t. I was only getting my ball, and she was yammering away to the guy with her.” He turned his gray eyes to Dan. “So, did you get a boy?”
Dan chuckled. “No, I didn’t select a baby.”
“Good, ‘cause they stink Billy says. He’s got a little brother.”
Jen served up a waffle to Joey first to stop him from talking about babies, then served Dan and Kent before starting the next batch. She made a note to ask Jon about Kinsey’s comments when they were alone.
As Kent discussed shooting hoops with Dan, Jon sat back, enjoying watching Dan interact with his boys. He was always so attentive and connected easily with them and Bram’s girls. And the kids were drawn to him as well.
After Jen served him a plate, he took a bite of his waffle and reflected on last night. He now possessed new insight to the enigma of one Dan Broderick. He didn’t think Dan recalled what he said outside the house. All indications from last night’s conversation
s pointed to the conclusion, and Dan’s words outside were the most telling.
He comprehended Dan dealt with many insecurities, but now he realized his most profound anxiety … the young man feared being alone and unwanted, but also believed he was unworthy of anyone’s care and concern. Likely one of the reasons Dan took so many unacceptable risks. He thinks others are more important than he is. My words triggered Dan’s fears.
Jon’s guilt increased a notch as he also acknowledged one night of sharing their pasts, would not relieve Dan’s deep-seated worries. Might normalize things, but I want, no I need, to find a way to help Dan accept he is valued, cared for, and wanted. Dan is like me one more way, he will see through any manufactured attempts, and a dialog between us won’t work either. Most likely Dan would be embarrassed and shut down, and I’m liable to screw up again by saying the wrong thing. No, I must seek opportunities, real events, to demonstrate I value Dan’s friendship, and believe him a worthy man.
He started to outline how to achieve his goals, oblivious to everyone else until Kent chortled, “I win! My eleven to your eight makes me the winner.”
Jon chuckled lightly. Gonna go broke feeding Kent. That boy’s appetite is endless. And Christ, he just ate more than Dan.
Dan grinned as Kent danced around gloating over his win. “I think we both win. Thanks, Jen. The waffles were awesome. Can’t believe I packed in so many. Ready to shoot some hoops, buddy?”
Kent groaned. “I’m too full. Won’t be able to run.”
Laughing, Dan grabbed Kent’s arm. “You fell for my strategy, kiddo. Now I’m gonna trounce you in hoops.” Dan hauled Kent toward the back door. He looked back at Jon with a cocky smile. “Gotta teach him a bit about losing a battle to win the war.”
As Dan closed the back door after Kent headed to the backyard basketball hoop, Jen sat down with a fresh cup of coffee and a grin on her face. “It’s wonderful to have him back again.”
“I’m glad he didn’t bring home a stinky baby,” Joey declared as he hopped down. “Can I go outside with them? I finished half.”
“Sure, buddy.” Jon smiled as Joey trotted out back and cringed when he slammed the door. Alone with Jen, he said, “I worried I hurt him too much and he would decide to leave. I can be such a bastard.”
Plans for asking Jon about Kinsey flew out the window as Jen put her hand over his and squeezed. Although she didn’t know the details, Jon shared enough for her to understand he felt guilty over things he said to Dan.
She shook her head. “No, absolutely not. Over-reactive, uncommunicative, demanding, and over-protective, yes. But bastard? Never! You’re a decent and caring man Jonny. Whatever occurred between you two, it appears Dan’s forgiven you. It’s time you forgive yourself.”
Not yet but I’ve got a plan and will begin working towards my goal of rebuilding Dan’s trust in me. Jon leaned towards his loving wife, smiled, then planted a kiss on her cheek. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”
She gave him a wicked smile. “Every day. But tonight, you might like to show me. You are aware actions speak so much louder than words.”
Faster than lightning he wrapped Jen in his arms and solidly kissed her. As he increased the passion, he agreed wholeheartedly. “Can’t wait to demonstrate the depth of my love for my Queen.”
Lexa’s Jeep – 8:20 p.m.
Congratulating herself for two reasons, Lexa smiled as she sang along with the old tune ‘Eye of the Tiger,” by Survivor which blared from her radio.
First, Friday was her last physical therapy session with Stewart. Though she still would require several more weeks to prepare for her requals, she no longer worried she wouldn’t make it back to Alpha Team. Stewart gave her his gold star seal of approval and laughed when he said her unconventional remodeling rehab helped her attain her goals faster.
Second, she avoided taking the route by Dan’s place on her way home from the gym, something which she failed to do every other time she worked out. Until today, she always found herself pulling into his apartment complex and checking if his truck or bicycle moved … which they didn’t. She knew for a fact because she made little chalk marks near the tires of both, something she was not proud of doing, but couldn’t stop herself.
But today, Lexa managed to take the direct route to and from Bang Fitness. Spending time with Loki a couple of nights ago helped put things in perspective, and she now glimpsed the light at the end of her tunnel. She would be returning to her job and family within the next month for sure.
The only potentially sticky part she must prepare for … the dreaded psych evaluation. But now that she put her relationship with Dan behind her and eliminated any doubt about making the right choice, she figured she would breeze through with no problems.
As she stopped at a red light, Lexa sang along with the tune, changing the lyrics to be gender-specific, “I’m back on my feet. Just a woman and her will to survive …” Her voice trailed off as her heart skipped a beat before speeding up. Exiting a bike path from the park in front of her was a very familiar blond head and mountain bike. “Oh my God, he’s back.”
When the light turned green, instead of going straight which would take her home, she turned right. She couldn’t handle meeting him now. Just one glimpse of Dan shattered all the illusions she built around herself. As tears welled, Lexa pulled into the first parking lot and turned off the Jeep. With a white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel, she struggled for emotional control.
A myriad of conflicting thoughts swirled in her head as adrenaline coursed through her veins making her jittery. She released her hands and wiped her eyes, before setting them in her lap. Peering down she noticed they shook. How am I ever going to pass the psych eval if I turn into a blubbering, shaking mess at the mere sight of him?
Gripping the wheel again, Lexa resorted to sniper breathing to calm her racing heart. Five minutes later she settled enough to start the vehicle and pull out of the lot. Releasing a heavy breath, Lexa resolved to do whatever necessary to return to Alpha Team … including finding a way to handle her feelings for Dan. I can’t and won’t allow a man, any man to derail everything I worked for … not even one my heart yearns to love.
Dan’s Apartment – 9:50 p.m.
Yawning, Dan shuffled to his kitchen wearing only a pair of boxers after his warm shower. He opened the fridge and peered longingly at the beer. “No alcohol for several more months,” Dan mimicked in the nasal voice of Dr. Chakram, recalling all the doctor’s dos and don’ts to protect his liver over the next few months. “Damned orders!” He grabbed a bottle of water instead.
As he sat in the swivel chair and swung his feet up on the table, he relaxed completely. Spending time with Jon’s family today had been pleasant. After he played basketball with Kent and video games with Joey, he and Jon enjoyed an afternoon of golf. When they returned, Jennifer invited him to dinner which he happily accepted, and afterward, Jon drove him home. With empty cupboards, he decided to do a quick shopping trip for essentials, then went for a long ride through his favorite park trail.
Any weirdness he thought might’ve been there this morning when he woke in Jon’s spare room didn’t materialize. Things seemed usual with his tactical lead, almost as if the bar incident never occurred. Actually, better than normal. Jon and Boss sharing parts of their past with him turned an awkward discussion into something more akin to three guys hanging out shooting the breeze. He mentally checked off one of his goals — smoothed things with Jon.
While at Jon’s, Boss called to tell him he would be meeting with a new department shrink after his physical requalification. Dr. Marfont agreed to come in on his day off to do the eval, so if all checked out, Dan would return on Monday morning.
Psych evals never worried him. He knew precisely how to handle himself and conceal things he didn’t want to share. The only psychologist he had ever been entirely open and honest with was Dawn Tansy. All others he met rubbed him the wrong way, so he used his skills to keep them at arms dis
tance and manipulate the outcome in his favor.
His mind skipped back to the conversation with Nick. He marked another item off his to-do list. Things also appeared natural with Boss. Yesterday, Nick shared with him everyone on the team looked forward to him returning. They all laughed as Boss told him all about the flying monkey wars he instigated with his gift to Loki. The wars settled down in the past month, but the animals still hung on his locker because Loki refused to remove them until he returned.
Dan crossed off Loki, Ray, and Bram from his list of concerns. From what Boss shared, nothing appeared out of whack with them. None of them had been made aware of the reason for his initial forced vacation. On the drive here from Jon’s house, Jon explained Joey’s comment. He chuckled to cover the shudder the thought of being anywhere near a body of water brought on. No way in hell I would choose to lie around on a beach … rather be in Kandahar.
The only person he worried about working with was Lexa. He promised both Boss and Jon he wouldn’t allow their prior romance to affect their work or the team. I hope I’m strong enough to keep my vow. Luckily, I still have several weeks before she returns to put my head in the right space. Dan glanced at his clock, noting the time and deciding he should go to bed. After chugging the rest of the water, he tossed it in the bin. Two points!
He shucked his boxers, preferring to sleep au naturel, and laid down on his half of the king-sized bed. He turned and peered at her side. Crap. This is gonna be harder than I thought … so many memories of Lexa in my place. I need to change my thinking if I’m going to get through this. Dan deliberately moved into the center, spreading out and staking claim to the whole bed.
Using a deep breathing technique which Brody taught him to relax, Dan focused on a tiny spark of light and let all else fade away. As Dan drifted off, he could almost hear Brody singing, ‘Bluff’ by Pilot Speed … a song which helped calm his troubled mind.
The lyrics spoke to him when he fought shadows in his life and tried to bluff his way through … made him realize it was okay to seek help from his brothers. Dan sighed as he decided to rely on his new family … to strengthen his friendships with Loki and Ray to help him deal with losing Lexa. If he was lucky, he and Lexa could become best friends eventually.
