by Emma Dean
She couldn’t ignore him the whole time – that wouldn’t help either of them pass.
Something about the way he looked at her was what made Mika so uncomfortable. It wasn’t like Lucien. Lucien was hunting her and he was exactly what he appeared to be – and yet…not.
Ethan though, Ethan wanted to get to know her in a way she just wasn’t ready for. Mika knew the power this kind of guy could have over her. It would be nothing for him to make her fall in love with him – for her to do anything for him.
And Mika didn’t trust herself.
So she had to keep an arm’s length away from everyone – just in case.
Just until she could figure her shit out.
“Do you really have a death wish?” she asked.
Ethan wasn’t smiling anymore. He was studying her like he wanted to find out exactly why she hurt so much, so he could fix it. “Sometimes I do. I’m a product of my generation after all.”
Maybe he was the perfect guy for her after all.
Mika narrowed her eyes. “What exactly is it that you want from me?”
“I know pain when I see it,” he murmured, taking her free hand in his. Mika was so shocked by his forwardness that she let him, unable to look away from his large thumb rubbing over one of her silver rings until it shone. She should have put on her gloves. “I know we don’t know each other at all, but let me help you shoulder it. I’ve felt like I was drowning before and all I wanted was for someone to reach out and give me a hand. I’m not trying to save you Mika – but I don’t want to watch you drown either.”
Her palm started to tingle and Mika panicked. She yanked her hand out of his so hard she nearly fell off her stool. “You don’t know anything about me,” she gasped, grabbing onto the worktable so she didn’t fall.
The room was suddenly quiet and too many people were looking at them.
“Ms. Marshall?” the professor asked carefully – like Mika might just explode.
The tingling got worse and Mika looked at the professor, and then Ethan and just—ran.
She burst through the doors of the poison garden and ran straight for the spiral staircase.
There shouldn’t be any classes on the top floor – it would give her the time and space and silence she needed to get shit back under control.
Her boots pounded on the metal but all she could hear was the ringing in her ears and the burning sensation on her palms. Mika ran through the main floor to the room in the back made for plants that required humidity so high her coveralls were soaked the second she opened the door.
It closed firmly behind her and she whirled around to find the trees reaching for the top of the conservatory – reaching for the sun that was hiding behind the clouds as more snow fell. It was starting to pile up and then melt thanks to the heat inside this room – it took only seconds for it to freeze again, creating an extra layer that made the glass look warped.
She took in a deep breath of the warm, humid air, and then another – shaking out her hands to try and get the tingling to stop. But Mika had never learned how to control this. It wasn’t something other witches could do – there was no one to ask for help.
“Mika?”
She whipped around and put a hand out. “Get away from me!”
Ethan took a step forward instead of back. “Let me help you.”
“You’ve no idea what you’re talking about,” she whispered, shoving her hands into her pockets so he couldn’t touch her skin.
“You’re right,” Ethan said, taking another step forward. “I have no idea what I’m talking about – so please, explain it to me.”
Three years of this shit and Mika was so tired. Her shoulders slumped. She wanted to trust someone, but she didn’t trust anyone – especially not with this. “I can’t.”
“Nothing can be that bad,” he murmured, taking that last step. Ethan was so close she could feel his magic.
Mika looked up and searched his eyes. “It can and it is.”
“When I was sixteen I nearly electrocuted my father to death,” Ethan told her quietly, eyes narrowed as he searched her face. “My magic had fully matured and I had thought my specialty was growing things, but I was wrong.”
He held out his hand and the moisture in the air started to condense, forming tiny storm clouds. Those clouds crackled and thundered. Then rain began to pour into the palm of his hand.
“A storm witch,” Mika whispered, feeling her heart rate decrease as she focused on the beauty in the palm of his hands.
“All magic is dangerous – even something like this that is considered to be beneficial. I help plants grow and give them the water they need. But there is a cost.” Ethan grimaced as lightning struck the palm of his hand. He shook out his hands with a whispered word and the storm disappeared.
“I nearly killed my father that night,” Ethan told her. “His heart stopped and we rushed him to the hospital. I spent the entire night thinking I’d killed him.”
Mika took a deep, calming breath and realized then that his eyes weren’t blue or green, but a stormy grey. The tingle started to dissipate and the fear began to recede. “But he lived?”
Ethan nodded, watching her closely. “He made a full recovery, but it took a while for me to conjure a storm with confidence. Fear only holds us back – it only makes the magic more dangerous and unpredictable and volatile. After a lot of practice, I know I’ll never accidentally hurt someone again – even when provoked. It’s mine to control – to use if I wish.”
Their magic wasn’t the same, but he understood. Mika let him gently take her wrist and pull it out of her pocket. It made her heart start pounding again, but the tingling was gone now. It wasn’t the fear making her react this way this time – but his touch.
She didn’t dare blink as Ethan turned her wrist so that her hand was facing palm up, fingers curled inward.
Ethan traced a sigil for peace in her palm and then closed her fingers over the glowing mark. “I don’t think you have storm magic, but I can promise you whatever it is you do have, it won’t scare me away.”
Those words nearly broke her resolve. Mika took in a shuddering breath and held her palm against her chest, wanting that small bit of peace for as long as she could hold it. “I’m less worried about it scaring you than I am about it killing you.”
It was more than she’d ever admitted to anyone. Not even Claire really knew – Claire only knew that one day she’d come home crying and covered in blood and ranting about a tonic to ward against pregnancy. Since that day everything had changed, but her sister never said anything – she’d never pried or asked.
Mika had thought it a small mercy, something to be grateful for. But with Ethan towering over her, just a breath away, practically demanding she let him help shoulder her burden…Mika wondered if maybe this kind of friendship – this kind of love was what she really needed.
Tough love – no room for bullshit and lies.
Audrey had it, and now here was someone else asking—no, practically demanding to let him help her.
Ethan wiped away the single tear that fell down her cheek, but he didn’t smile and his touch didn’t linger. “Want to see something cool?”
She nodded, glad he didn’t ask for details. Instead he drew a few runes in the air and whispered a few words in Sumerian.
Clouds began to form above them and suddenly rain started pouring down on them like a monsoon on the plants. The flowers opened up to drink the water like grateful creatures in the deep desert.
Mika couldn’t help but smile, taking her other hand out of her pocket and holding it up to catch the rain. She was completely soaked with her hair plastered to her face. “This is beautiful,” she murmured. “Thank you.”
Ethan said nothing, he just studied her.
It made her breath catch, but Mika kept her eyes on the clouds inside the greenhouse, enjoying the water her skin absorbed just like the plants did – she never would have thought she would miss the rain.
Then he r
eached out and wiped a drop of that rain from her bottom lip.
Mika froze—the world froze as her entire being focused on that one simple touch.
“I’ve never met anyone like you before,” Ethan admitted, stepping closer. “I have to say…I’m a little obsessed.”
It should have been creepy, but the way he said it – it sounded more like he was worshipping a goddess than stalking someone that only existed in his head.
Mika didn’t try to pull away when he placed one hand on her lower back and pulled her forward. Her open hand rested on his chest like it was the most natural thing in the world. She should push him away, go back to class, but Mika’s lips parted as she looked up into those stormy eyes.
Then she looked down at those lips that begged to be kissed.
Ethan didn’t hesitate. He bent down and gently pressed his lips to hers in the most undemanding way. Every thought in Mika’s head disappeared and then the rain stopped. But it didn’t just stop – it froze into place. She pulled back and looked around, some of the drops seemed to go back up into his clouds and others hung in the air like diamonds.
“You’re smiling,” Ethan whispered. “I never thought I’d get to see you smile.”
Mika looked back at him and she couldn’t decipher the look on his face, but it washed away every single word of caution whispering in the back of her mind. She grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down for a kiss – practically starved for touch, for affection.
Three years of self-imposed isolation and Ethan had somehow managed to break through her walls of iron.
The taste of him was addicting, like freedom. Mika couldn’t get enough. She pressed her whole body against his and Ethan gripped her hips hard, groaning when she slipped her tongue inside his mouth.
She pulled back to search his eyes, to see what he was thinking.
But Ethan’s eyes were glazed over and his skin was pale.
Mika snatched her hand back and saw it was covered in blood.
Her scream nearly shattered the windows as power exploded from her body with the force of her panic. They continued to rattle as she screamed for help – as she caught Ethan before he fell to the ground, careful not to touch him with her bare skin.
Mika screamed as blood poured from him – no visible wounds.
Footsteps pounded and she tried not to remember what had happened three years ago, but it was like history was repeating itself and the Fates were forcing her to relive her worst nightmare.
Mika let them take Ethan. Healing witches tried to do what they could but he was rushed to the infirmary and then she was alone, sitting in a pool of someone else’s blood, just like the last time.
11
She didn’t remember how she got to the infirmary, but someone must have taken her there. Mika vaguely remembered the healers asking her questions and she had to say she didn’t know what happened – because she really didn’t.
Mika didn’t know what exactly her magic was doing when she touched someone while her hands tingled. All she knew was there was suddenly blood everywhere and whoever had skin to skin contact with her was dead.
By some small miracle she hadn’t killed Ethan, but he was ghostly pale as he lay in his infirmary bed. Mika sat beside him with her gloves back on her hands, not daring to touch him even then.
Fates, this was exactly why she’d wanted people to leave her alone. It was the only way until she could figure out what the fuck her magic was trying to do.
“Ms. Marshall, from what we can tell it looks like there was some kind of charm that went off,” the head healer told her, kneeling down in front of her so their faces were level and Mika was forced to focus on her. “He bled from his pores. Blood magic charms aren’t forbidden, but they are very dangerous. Do you know where he might have gotten it?”
The ringing in her ears was too loud. Mika couldn’t think. She couldn’t form thoughts.
Blood magic?
Why had that never fucking occurred to her?
Oh, right.
Because no one had blood magic as a specialty.
Even necromancy was considered taboo. So if there were blood witches out there…
Mika dropped her head in her hands and took deep breaths to keep from fainting.
“Hey, he’s going to be okay,” the healer reassured her. “We’re giving him a blood transfusion now. A few hours and he’ll be back to normal.”
Someone was going to ask her a lot of very uncomfortable questions unless Ethan covered for her, but why would he do that?
She’d nearly killed him.
Her hands shook and tears pricked her eyes. Mika couldn’t focus on anything and she wasn’t feeling very stable, but she had to be there with him. She had to sit by his side until he woke. This was all her fault after all.
“Mika!”
She should have been more insistent and told him to back off. Mika shouldn’t have let a little bit of pretty magic soften her heart. All of this could have been prevented if she hadn’t been so weak.
“Mika, holy shit. Are you okay? I heard there was a nasty blood magic charm and…” Audrey trailed off when she knelt down in front of Mika. “Well, fuck. Come here.”
Her dorm mate lifted her up and off the chair. Mika was still in shock. She couldn’t have resisted even if she’d tried.
“Please don’t touch me,” she whispered. When Audrey started to look pissed Mika swallowed hard. She had to tell someone. “Don’t touch my skin.”
Sudden understanding dawned on Audrey’s face.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Come with me.”
“I can’t leave him.” After what she’d done, she couldn’t just abandon Ethan.
“He’s going to live,” Audrey hissed. “Which might not be the case next time. So come with me now.”
Mika stumbled after the other witch, praying to the Fates that Audrey might know of a way to lock her magic up forever so she couldn’t hurt anyone. Maybe she should ask Takahashi to strip her of her powers. Or better yet, Kenzie.
It would tear apart the very thing that made her who she was – that connection to the universe and the growing things would be severed in a way she couldn’t comprehend, but maybe it would be for the best.
Audrey didn’t say anything until they were out of the infirmary wing and even then she was just muttering nonsense as she pulled Mika through the school.
And she let her.
Mika had no sense of purpose or will at the moment. All she could do was hold onto the magic that wanted to burst from her skin. She’d nearly shattered the glass in the greenhouse. What would happen if she lost control again?
Would she go off like a bomb – killing anyone in a ten foot radius of her?
“Here I thought you were just like, good at growing man-eating plants. If I’d known it was literally something that could kill people with a touch I would have pushed you harder. But Mika – battle magic doesn’t really translate to blood magic,” she hissed under her breath.
Audrey opened a random classroom door and checked to make sure it was empty before dragging Mika into it. She was still so out of her mind Mika didn’t bother resisting. If someone had to know – Audrey was the best person.
The girl hadn’t grown up with witches. She didn’t hold the same stigma against certain magics as everyone else did.
A few quick words from Audrey and the room was sealed. No one could overhear their conversation.
“What happened?” Audrey demanded. “The healers think it was a blood magic charm Mika.”
She collapsed into one of the chairs and looked up at the girl who had basically adopted her as her own. Audrey’s dark brown hair with its reddish tint was back in a ponytail today, but her usual pleasant expression was stern as she crossed her arms over her chest to glare at Mika.
“Are you mad because I almost killed someone, or because I didn’t tell you?” Mika’s voice was so quiet it didn’t even echo in the wide open space.
Audrey huffed then an
d her arms dropped to her side. “I’m not mad. I’m annoyed someone so smart is being such an idiot.”
Mika didn’t know what to make of that so she shrugged and rested her arms on the desk in front of her, crossing them like she had as a child so they formed a pillow for her head. Laying down she took a deep breath and decided to tell Audrey everything.
“After Bradley Davis…raped me three years ago, I ran. I ran and ran back to my house,” she whispered. “I’m still disappointed he wasn’t the one I killed.”
Audrey’s face paled at that.
“I ran into some guy – a human. He was asking me if I was all right and trying to get me to go in the car with him so he could take me home.” The blackboard down near the podium still had scribbles from the last class, but Mika couldn’t make them out. Based on the images framed on the wall though she’d bet this was a healing classroom.
The other witch didn’t say a word but she sat in the chair next to Mika and waited.
Mika slid her gaze to Audrey’s. “I was out of my mind, in pain and feeling betrayed. This human was pulling on me and trying to force me into a car. I don’t think he was trying to hurt me – I really do think he was trying to help which makes all this so much worse.”
The silence was deafening as she remembered how the blood felt like rain if she didn’t look too closely. All she could hear was the roar of water in her head.
“I didn’t even touch him,” Mika whispered. “He grabbed my bare arm and I freaked.”
The water had bowed outwards then, like she’d created an invisible shield around them and the rain ran down that sphere instead of continuing its natural path.
“At first nothing happened, but then he got so pale and that’s when he let go of me.” Mika looked away from Audrey, feeling that shame and fear all over again. “He started shaking first. Then blood poured out of his eyes and nose and mouth and ears. I grabbed onto him so he didn’t fall into the street. When my hand touched his skin…that’s when blood started oozing out of his pores.”
Mika closed her eyes, wishing she could burn the memory of all that blood – covering her and staining her white Beltane dress until it was red all over…
