by Izzy Gomez
Al’s look was impatient. “Go. I’ll deal with the Captain. She can help me with this.” He swung his arm to encompass the clearing.
Wow. Al volunteering to work with Brown. That spoke volumes more than words ever could. “Thank you.”
Head spinning, too many emotions tangling with her thoughts, she zeroed in on the easiest of them.
Holding Greg’s hand, Amanda walked beside him as they headed away from the chaos.
Chapter 32
Usually it thrilled Amanda to race through the city at breakneck speeds. Tonight's ride was far from thrilling.
She sat opposite Lou, a lanky Latinx man with tired but friendly eyes. On the stretcher between them, Greg fought for consciousness.
“I’m going to give you something for pain.” Lou held a vial in one hand and a syringe in the other.
If Amanda never saw another vial or syringe after tonight she would consider herself a lucky woman.
“It will probably make you pretty out of it,” Lou said. “But that’s a good thing.”
“Wait.” Greg’s attempt to raise his hand didn’t make it more than an inch. “I need...” He licked his swollen lip. “I need to say something.”
She bent over him and lifted his hand to press a kiss to the palm. Bright welts on his wrists nearly glowed in the harsh light of the ambulance. She refused to let her face show how much the sight made her ache.
"No, you don't. You already said it. I love you too." The words felt rusty. But right. The only thing right about the whole insane night.
His eyes glazed. "I love you, Amanda."
She saw more than heard the words. Heart breaking, she held his hand between hers and nodded to Lou. He gave her a sympathetic smile as he injected the syringe into Greg's IV.
For a long time she watched as he drifted away. She wanted to cry. She wanted to hold him and kiss him. She wanted to crawl onto the stretcher and be next to him.
Most of all, she wanted to see him smile. To hear his laugh.
"He's gonna be OK, right?"
"I can't make any promises, ma'am," Lou said.
"Of course not." She wasn't looking for a promise. Just a little reassurance to get her through the next few hours.
Holding his palm to her cheek, she used her nonexistent powers of mental telepathy to will him to heal.
Todd was gone. Gabby was struggling with her own demons. Her relationship with the remnants of her family was permanently damaged.
"You better get your ass better and out of bed soon. Because you're it. You're all I've got now."
And she still hadn’t told him about covering up Hank’s drug dealing. In his shoes, she could get past it. Did he love her enough to forgive her?
"I hope you know how much I hate hospitals."
Amanda set down her People magazine as Al shut the door. "No one asked you to grace us with your presence."
He shrugged his eyebrows. "I've got time. Administrative leave and all that."
"You and me both."
Al quirked his eyebrows into a question.
Amanda shook her head. She would tell him soon. But not today.
After spending two nights sleeping at Greg's side as he drifted in and out of consciousness, this morning she'd gone home, showered, fed her cats and gone to work. And told Captain Brown everything about Hank’s drug dealing in the dorms.
Brown immediately put her on leave, pending an investigation, so she'd come back to the hospital and parked herself at Greg's side.
Al perched on the doctor's stool and rolled to the opposite side of the bed. "How's he doing?"
"Better. Out of it from the pain meds. They cut back this morning, so he should start getting more lucid."
"But he'll recover?"
Amanda nodded as relief pulsed through her, only marginally less powerful than it had been the first time Greg's mom told her that he would be OK.
"Couple broken ribs and a punctured lung. Concussion. Lots of cuts and bruises." It could have been so much worse. The madman who had replaced her brother took her family, tried to take her best friend, tried to take the man she loved. Tried to take her. Sitting in the hospital room, questioning every aspect of her life, it was hard to convince herself the good guys won. Then she remembered the words Greg fought so hard to say in the ambulance.
Despite everything she'd lost, she'd won.
"Good. We need all the good cops we can get."
Now wasn’t the time to tell him she was resigning. She wanted to tell Greg first.
They lapsed into awkward silence. Al's gaze darted around the room, landing everywhere but on Greg.
"You meet his family?"
She huffed out a nervous laugh. "Yeah, that was awkward."
"I'll bet."
"Nice people. His dad's a retired cop."
Al's eyebrows made a noncommittal movement as he cracked his knuckles.
He wasn't listening to a word she said. "His mom’s a stripper. Told me about the new pole dancing routine she's doing."
"Sounds great." He glanced at the TV mounted near the ceiling.
Smiling for the first time in two days, Amanda rose. Since he was already about to squirm right out of his skin, might as well take it a step farther.
She stopped in front of Al and bent toward him. Wrapped her arms around his shoulders. Squeezed.
An awkward hand patted her back. "What are you doing, Schreiber?"
Still smiling, she stepped back. "Even you know what a hug is."
He leveled an unamused stare at her. "I know what a hug is. But we don't hug."
"Maybe I want that to change."
His eyebrows didn't say anything as he watched her.
"I'll tell Greg you stopped by. I'm sure he'll appreciate it."
Al practically leapt from the stool and sprinted to the door. "Keep me posted."
As the door shut behind him, Amanda returned to her chair. What was with Al? Hospitals were uncomfortable places, but he acted like he'd catch the plague if he stayed another second. As well as she knew her partner, there was still so much about his personal history that remained a mystery.
"Hey."
The noise from the bed was closer to a croak than speech. It was the most beautiful thing she'd heard in days.
Giving him her best smile, she scooted closer to his bed. "Hey yourself."
He rolled his head gingerly from side to side. "Where’re my parents?"
"They went to get lunch and do some errands. Your mom said they'd be back before dinner."
"How's my mom holding up? This can't be easy for her."
His eyes had finally lost the sheen of pain and drugs. She couldn't quite get the words past the boulder in her throat. Greg was back.
She cleared her throat. "She's OK. You can see she's worried, but she's a strong woman."
He reached for her and she took his hand. "I like that in a woman."
The boulder grew. She felt dizzy and flushed.
"There's something I need to tell you." Her heart thumped almost painfully. She could still lose him. But keeping the truth from him would be worse.
"Unless you're going to say you're planning a prison break for your brother, I don't care." He squeezed her hand. It was weak, but still a squeeze. "I love you. Nothing's going to change that.
"I appreciate that. And I love you too.” It felt energizing to say that. “But that's all the more reason I need to say this."
His hint of a smile faded. "OK. Go ahead."
Damn. It had been hard telling Brown, but was a bowl of jelly beans compared to now. She opened her mouth but nothing came out. She had to try three more times like a stupid gaping fish, before finally she could speak.
"When I was a rookie, Hank was at Marquette. To earn extra cash, he and his roommate sold pot to other kids in their dorm." She stared at their joined hands. She couldn't watch his face as she said this. She couldn't handle the disappointment she knew she'd see.
"Hank would brag about it to the rest of us. I thin
k to see if I would do anything. I told him I had an obligation to report him." Heat surged through her, anger and shame.
Greg gave her hand another small squeeze. "And?"
"I didn't. My dad told me, without saying it in so many words, that Karen would use her legal connections to ruin my career if I said anything."
"She threatened you?" Greg stiffened.
"Not directly. And my dad didn't say it directly either. But it was clear enough."
"OK.” Silence stretched between them for what felt like eternity. She wanted to pace and squirm and yell at him to say something and beg his forgiveness.
“So you didn't report your brother selling a little pot."
"There's more."
He didn't respond.
This was so awkward. So awful. "His roommate got busted. Nothing huge, just a ticket. But it was enough to put him on probation at Marquette. The stash the cops found was both of theirs, but the roommate never fingered Hank and Hank never stepped up." Hardly a shocker. "I knew about it, and again, I should have reported it. But my dad again said, without saying, that I needed to think about how much I wanted to keep my job. So it was the guarantee that Karen would sabotage me versus the remote possibility someone would find out I never told."
He nodded, his gaze focused on the blank TV screen.
“I told Hank he had to stop dealing. That if I found out he was doing it any more, I would report him, no matter what Karen did to me.” She searched Greg’s face for a reaction, but it was impossible to tell under all the bruises and cuts and stitches and bandages.
“I think he stopped. It’s possible he was just more careful about keeping it from me. And he obviously got into harder stuff at some point.”
Silence enveloped the room, abated only by the hum of the fluorescent lights and various monitors. Why didn’t he say something?
“It was the first thing Todd used to try to get me to help him. He threatened to turn me in if I didn’t. But that’s not why I’m telling you.” She pulled her hand free and sat back in the chair. She wanted to curl into a ball and run away from this. But she couldn’t stop now. He had to know why she was telling him.
“I want you to know who I really am. You deserve that. I suppose I could have waited a few days, until you’re more on the mend, but I want you to hear it from me. Not the grapevine.”
“So Todd outed you?” Greg’s gaze flicked to her face. His expression remained neutral, but she felt judged. Maybe that was her own guilt.
She nodded. “I also wanted to tell you before anyone else. But I had to tell Brown. So she knows.”
“I assume they’re investigating it?”
“As much as they can. It’s not like we had a huge email trail going. Hank’s dead. I have no idea where the roommate is. There’s not much for them to investigate. I told Brown what I did. Same as I’m telling you. They can decide what to do with it.”
She rose and retrieved her purse from the window ledge. She pulled out a tri-folded piece of paper and took it to him.
“What is this?” He opened the paper but didn’t look at it.
“My resignation.”
Surprise registered in his eyes, but otherwise he gave no response.
“It’s only partly about the thing with Hank. Mostly, after this case, I can’t do it anymore. I need to step back for a while.”
He looked at the letter. Folded it and set it on the tray table next to him. “OK.”
She stood next to the bed, waiting. Her fingers danced and her legs itched to move. “So?”
“So?” He reached for her hand.
Glad to have something to do with it, she took his. When he tugged gently, which was probably as hard as he could manage, she sat next to him on the bed.
“I’m glad you told me. I’m not thrilled with what you did, but I understand why. And I know how hard it was for you to come clean. I don’t think they’ll fire you over it. But if resigning is what you need to do, I support you.”
“And this?” She waved her free hand between them. The words stuck in her throat. “Us?”
“It doesn’t change this.” Because his free hand was weighted down by an IV and an oxygen monitor, he gestured with their joined hands. “Not for me.”
For two days, sitting at his side, she hadn’t shed a single tear. Now, her eyes filled. A few swelled over and escaped.
His still-swollen mouth shifted into a smile. “I love you. And I meant it when I said nothing will change that.” He reached for her shoulder and pulled her toward him.
A mechanical whir distracted her. He was getting closer very quickly. His nose bumped hers.
“Adjustable bed.” With his accessorized hand, Greg lifted the remote.
She laughed. It sounded rusty.
He cupped the back of her neck. “I love you. So you’re going to have to deal with that.”
Before she could respond, he pulled her mouth to his.
“I love you too,” she managed before his kiss consumed her and she could only enjoy the softness of his lips caressing hers. Mindful of his injuries, she held his face and kissed him back.
Greg Cole loved her. She could deal with it just fine.
Also by Izzy Gomez
The Circle City Detectives Series
Rogue
Fall—Coming November 2019
Hunt—Coming December 2019
Seek—Coming January 2020
