I didn’t get to respond. The call dropped. Stupid weather.
It was getting harder to see through the rain as I drove, but I was determined. I couldn’t rest until this was settled. I wouldn’t lose Binary Search or let my name, or my company’s name, be dragged through the mud over a simple misunderstanding.
I drove to Jason’s house and prayed he was there. I pulled up in front of his house and was out my door after I barely had time to turn off my car. I was thoroughly soaked by the time I made it to his door. I looked down at my red cotton dress that was now clinging to me. Oh well. I knocked furiously on his door. It looked like he finally got a window covering for privacy.
A huge crack of lightning lit up the sky when Jason opened the door. I jumped.
“Kenadie,” Jason said surprised. “What are you doing out in this weather? Are you all right?”
I lost it. I had held it in long enough and I was so, so tired. “No,” I cried.
He reached out and pulled me to him and shut the door. “You’re soaked and shaking. What’s wrong?”
I pulled away from him. This is what got me into this mess in the first place. I stood there, dripping water on his wood floor, all while crying like a baby.
“Let me at least get you a towel.” He was obviously concerned.
“No.” I shook my head.
He tried to reach out for me again, but I backed up.
He looked hurt.
“Jason, Liz called and she saw us kiss on TV last night and now she’s threatening to sue me. She called me a fraud and some other not-so-nice names. So you need to call her, or better yet, go to her and tell her it’s all a misunderstanding. Tell her you don’t care for me like that. That I was helping you and you had no idea that was going to happen. Please,” I begged.
“Kenadie, I can’t do that.”
“What do you mean you can’t do that?” I demanded.
He ran his fingers through his hair and breathed out heavily. “I was afraid this had gone too far.”
“What are you talking about? Please, Jason, I could lose my business here.”
He reached out for my hand. “Please come sit down.”
I yanked my hand away. “No! Just tell me why you won’t help me.”
“Kenadie, I would do anything for you, but I can’t lie about how I feel about you.”
I rubbed my hands across my face. “I’m confused.”
“Don’t you get it, Kenadie? I’m in love with you.”
I laughed somewhat maniacally. “This is no time for jokes.”
“Kenadie, open your eyes. I wouldn’t joke about this. I love you.”
I shook my head. “No. You can’t. You’ve been dating other women and …”
He took me up into his arms and breathed out slowly. “I only dated those other women so that I could get close to you.”
“That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Why would you do that?”
“Because we couldn’t think of any other way for me to date you without you knowing.”
I pushed him away. “We?”
He looked down at his bare feet. “Zander and I …”
“You planned this?”
“No, I mean yes, but listen to me.”
I turned around in a fury. I was going to find Zander and slap him. I ran out the door into the sound of the tornado sirens and torrential rain and wind.
“Kenadie,” Jason yelled, “you need to come back inside where it’s safe.”
“Leave me alone,” I called as I gracefully lost my footing in my stupid stilettos and fell down his steps. I landed on my hands and knees. I didn’t even have time to gather my thoughts or feel the pain or sting of fallen pride before Jason picked me up and held me close to him.
“You are a stubborn woman.” He raised his voice above the noise of Mother Nature and the sirens.
I gave up and rested my head on his shoulder and cried.
He didn’t say a word. He walked us into his house and into a fairly large closet under a staircase that was in the middle of his house. It was the perfect place for a tornado shelter. He gently set me down. “I’ll be right back. Don’t move.”
I leaned against the wall and looked down at my bloody knees and dirty dress. I looked at my hands. They were also scraped and bleeding. I wasn’t sure if I was shivering because I was wet and cold or because I had been hit with an emotional bomb. Was Jason sincere? Did he really love me? And if so, what were the last two months about? And what about Binary Search? I couldn’t lose her.
Jason returned quickly with towels, a blanket, first aid kit, and a weather radio that was already on and warning us of impending doom. It was just my luck the weatherman finally had it right.
Jason unfolded the towel and wrapped it around my shoulders. Inside the blanket were some of his clothes.
“You need to change out of that wet dress. I’ll turn around. Or, if it will make you feel more comfortable, I’ll leave the closet and take my chances with the tornado.”
“I doubt we’ll have a tornado touch down.”
“I don’t know. Those wall clouds look like they mean business.”
“Great.” I took the clothes and winced. “I guess I’ll lose everything else along with my company today.”
Jason turned away. “You’re not going to lose your company. I’ll talk to Liz.”
I began to slowly unbutton my soaked dress. “And what are you going to tell her?”
“Kenadie.” He faced the door. “I’m going to tell her the truth.”
I carefully climbed out of my dress and threw on one of his t-shirts. I was swimming in it. “And what is the truth?”
He paused for a moment and sighed. “The truth is that you got under my skin from day one, and I wanted to get to know you better. I never meant for it to go this far. I didn’t even mean to fall in love with you, but you kind of made that impossible.”
“So this is my fault?” I looked at the sweat pants before I put them on. “My knees are bleeding. I don’t want to ruin your sweat pants.”
“Don’t worry about that,” he said kindly. “And no, this isn’t your fault. It’s all my fault, and Zander’s, but more my fault, because I went along with his crazy plan. I never meant to hurt you or anyone.”
I pulled the sweatpants up carefully and tied them as tightly as I could, but they were still loose. I could only imagine how I looked. A drowned rat in clothing several sizes too big for me. How attractive. “You can turn around now.”
He grabbed the blanket and put it around me. “You’re shaking.” He stroked my cold cheek.
A few tears escaped and he tenderly wiped them with his thumb. “I’m sorry,” he repeated.
I sat down slowly and he knelt in front of me. “Let me see your hands.”
I held them out and he gently took an antiseptic wipe and cleaned them off.
“That stings.” I pulled my hand back involuntarily.
He took up my right hand and blew on it and then kissed it.
“Please don’t.”
He looked up and leaned closer. “Why?”
“Because …”
He leaned in more until our faces were an inch apart. “Because why?” he whispered against my lips.
“Because I don’t know what to believe or think. What did you think was going to happen in all of this? What was the end game?”
He rested his forehead against mine and ran his hand across my wet hair. “I don’t know. Zander thought that if you would just relax and spend some time with me, that maybe it would open you up to dating again. And it seemed to be working, but then you would back off. Zander convinced me this was a good thing and to keep trying. But he didn’t need to convince me, because all I could think about was you.”
“So you dated other women?”
“When you say it like that, it sounds moronic. And it is, but it seemed like the only way to get you to still see me.”
“Did you ever think about telling me the truth?”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“Because I wasn’t sure how you would take it, and I wanted you to come to the realization that you wanted me, too.”
Anger bubbled up inside of me. “You don’t have any idea what you’ve put me through, do you?”
He let go of me and sat back against the wall opposite me.
“You’ve been toying with my emotions and my company on purpose. Do you have any idea how guilty and even heartbroken I’ve felt?”
His eyes widened.
“Yes, I fell for you.” Saying that aloud to him felt oddly freeing. “So congratulations! For the last several weeks I’ve been trying my hardest not to feel for you. To do the job that you paid me to do. Do you know how hard it has been for me to set you up with woman after woman? Do you know how stupid I have felt for letting myself have feelings for you? And now I learn that all along this has been some game to you and Zander. Did you place bets on if it would actually work or not?” I cried.
The lights flickered and we both looked up. Outside we could hear the storm intensifying.
Jason stood up. “I’ll be right back.”
“Where are you going?” As much as I was angry with him, I didn’t want him to leave me alone there.
“I’m going to grab some flashlights.”
I nodded and tightened the blanket around me.
He was back in no time at all with a flashlight and a battery-powered lantern in hand. “It’s not looking good outside,” he informed me.
He sat next to me and hesitantly put his arm around me. When I didn’t object, he pulled me closer. His closeness was a comfort. It had been a long time since I had been this afraid of a storm.
“Kenadie,” he whispered. “I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry. And no, we weren’t making bets, and it was never a game. I think Zander was so desperate for you to move on so that he could; and I was so taken in by you that we didn’t really stop to think about all the technicalities of it. We could tell you were confused and torn, but I didn’t realize how much, and we took that as a good sign. We’re idiots. It was never my intent to hurt you, it was the opposite. I wanted to help you and Zander and, I suppose, myself.”
I sat up and looked at him squarely. “What do you mean so Zander could move on? Move on from what?”
He shook his head and half-smiled. He placed his warm hand on my cheek. “You have no idea the effect you have on people, do you? Especially men.”
My eyes once again registered confusion.
“Kenadie, I don’t know if Zander would want me to say this, but he’s been in love with you for a very long time.”
I batted Jason’s hand away gently. “That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. Zander and I are best friends. Period.”
Jason’s look was almost one of pity. Like he felt sorry for me. “Why do you think Zander didn’t go to your wedding?”
“Because he was studying abroad. He couldn’t make it back.”
“Kenadie, he only left because he couldn’t deal with the fact you were getting married. And he came right back once that fell apart.”
“To comfort me.”
“Yes, and to see if there was any hope for the two of you.”
I shook my head and placed my hands in my face. This couldn’t be true. A thought struck me and I looked back up at Jason, who was looking a little wary. “If that’s true, then why would Zander try to fix me up with you? And why would you date a woman that your best friend was in love with?” I asked, like I was so smart.
Jason took my hands carefully, so as to not touch the scrapes. “Zander realized it would never work out between the two of you. He knew he could never ruin your friendship. And maybe I’m a jerk, but Zander felt like I would be better for you, and I selfishly agreed. This hasn’t been easy for him, either, but he’s had some help.”
“Help?”
“I’ll let him explain that one.”
My head hurt, as did my body. And every part of me was exhausted and confused. The no sleep was not helping my muddled brain process all of this information. So it did the only thing it could think of, and I burst into tears. I didn’t want to, but seriously, a woman can only take so much.
Jason took me up into his arms and the lights went out and the weather radio began to wail, warning people to take shelter. Fear took over and I prayed silently that all of my loved ones were safe. It sounded like a freight train was closing in outside and I curled into Jason for comfort. I was beyond angry with him, but he was all I had at that moment and, as angry as I was, I still cared for him deeply.
Jason held me tight in the darkness and kissed the top of my head. I heard him whisper, “I love you, Kenadie.”
It didn’t take long before it was silent outside. The weather radio was still warning people to take cover and to stay put. They expected more severe storms to last through the afternoon and evening. The power didn’t come back on, so Jason turned on his lantern.
“I’m going to go check out the damage. Stay here, please.”
I didn’t want him to leave. “Be careful.”
“I know I probably shouldn’t but—” He lightly brushed my lips with his. “I’ve been wanting do that more than you know.” He stood up and left me stunned.
He had no idea how much I wanted to be kissed by him, but I needed to figure out my head. And I had to figure out a way to save my business from this mess. I was going to kill Zander, and maybe Jason.
Jason returned after several minutes. He brought with him a real radio and some ice cream. He handed me the carton and it felt good against my scraped up and bruised hands. He sat next to me, handed me a spoon, and opened the lid for us to share our favorite butter brickle. “I don’t think the power is coming back anytime soon, so we might as well not waste this.” He took a spoonful.
I dipped my spoon into the carton of heaven. “When did you go to Shasta’s?”
“Monday. I was hoping to have you over sometime this week to have some.”
“You know, you’ve made a mess out of things.”
“Believe me, Kenadie. I know.”
Chapter Thirty
We sat there in his closet listening to the radio and the damage reports rolling in. It sounded like Flowery Branch had escaped the severe stuff. I breathed a sigh of relief, but I worried about Zander, even though he was the biggest butthead ever. Neither Jason nor I had cell service, so we had no way to communicate with anyone.
I wasn’t sure who I was angrier at, Zander or Jason.
Jason finally had the courage to tell me my car was trashed. A trampoline had nose-dived on it. It was the icing on the cake for the day.
We didn’t say much as we sat there, but Jason never left my side. And, as always, I took comfort in his presence. I think I even dozed off a time or two as I leaned on Jason’s shoulder. I was exhausted, in more ways than one.
Around six in the evening, the warnings were over and there was someone pounding on Jason’s door. Jason helped me up. I was stiffer than I thought I would be, but I had taken a nice tumble and sitting on the floor for hours didn’t help any.
I stretched out my body as Jason looked on.
“Is it too early for me to say I love how you look in my clothes?” he teased.
“You’re pressing your luck.”
He hung his head. “Yeah,”
The pounding became louder and we heard Zander shout our names.
Jason and I looked at each other with surprise and quickly went to the door.
Jason barely opened it up before Zander was inside and picking me up. “You had me so worried,” he scolded me. “I’ve been everywhere looking for you in this mess. Your mom is beside herself.”
“Is my family okay? What about our building?”
“Your family is fine. Binary Search is fine. Your condo looks okay, too. Your car, not so much.”
I already knew about that, but it reminded me of something else. “And by the way, thanks t
o you, Binary Search is not okay. I would smack you if my hands didn’t hurt so much.”
Zander set me down and looked between Jason and me.
“She knows.” Jason grimaced.
Zander swallowed hard. “Everything?”
“Almost.” Jason shifted his position.
It was that almost part I got to hear on the way out to Momma’s. Neither my condo nor anywhere in the vicinity had power, but thankfully Momma’s place did and she had a back-up generator, just in case.
I looked out the window as we drove out of town. I couldn’t help but stare at all the destruction. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been; it was mainly downed trees, power lines, and rooftop damage. Jason’s house had been mostly spared. His fence was going to need some repairs and he would need a new mailbox, but he was lucky. He felt bad about my car, he kept saying he should have thought to pull it into his garage, but we both had had a lot on our minds.
I could tell he didn’t want me to leave, but I had to go. I had to figure out my head and my heart, and to do that, I needed space.
“I imagine you’re pretty ticked off at me.” Zander carefully drove us out to my momma’s.
“That’s a huge understatement. But I don’t know if I’m more mad or hurt. Why didn’t you tell me how you felt about me?”
“Hell, Kenz, don’t you think I wanted to? But I knew you didn’t feel that way about me. When we kissed back in high school, you rocked my world, but I could see in your eyes that it wasn’t the same for you. I worried if I told you, you would want to try, and I knew it wouldn’t work out. I’ve always known I’m not the right man for you, and I loved you too much to give up what we had. And I wasn’t ever sure I could be faithful to one woman, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to hurt you like that.”
He was making it hard to be upset with him. “I love you. I’m sorry I didn’t know how you felt.”
He reached over and stroked my hair. “I love you, too. You don’t have anything to be sorry for, other than being desirable.”
“Thanks, butthead. And thanks for ruining my business.”
“Jason and I will talk to Liz. It will be all right.”
“You don’t know that.”
Dating by Design Series - Box Set Page 29
