by J. L. Wilder
“Are you all right?” Victor whispered at length.
Lily nodded. “Move,” she breathed. “Please.”
He did—in small increments at first, allowing her to get used to the feeling, then harder and faster. Lily felt as helpless as a rag doll against him, and it was incredible.
I don’t know how I went this long without him.
Her second orgasm came quickly and powerfully. She flung her arms around Victor’s neck and held onto him as her body rode out the wave. Somewhere in the middle of it, she could feel the juddering thrusts that she knew meant he had come as well.
She held onto him for a long time when they had finished. It had taken so long for the two of them to finally come together that she felt apprehensive about letting him go. She felt as though if she were to release him, he might not come back to her.
Victor seemed just as reluctant to part from her. After several long moments, he rolled off her and lay down beside her, pulling her into the warmth of his chest.
She reached down and eased his pants back up over his hips for him, and he chuckled. “Thank you,” he said.
“Why did we wait so long to do that?” she murmured.
“No idea,” he said. “It seems especially stupid now, doesn’t it?”
“Promise me we won’t ever go back to that,” she said. “I can’t live without you now that I’ve had a taste.”
He kissed her, then got to his feet and pulled her upright beside him. “You don’t have anything to worry about,” he assured her. “I feel exactly the same way.”
LILY STAYED CLOSER to her alphas after that.
But she was still lost in thought, still caught up in her concerns about what would happen when they inevitably encountered her family. The journey had been her idea, but that didn’t make it any easier to contemplate her alphas coming face to face with her brother.
God, please don’t let there be any fighting. She couldn’t stand it if someone got hurt because of her.
So preoccupied was she with these worries that she didn’t even notice her own exhaustion—the fact that she was wearing out much more quickly every day than she ever had in the past.
It was Pax who mentioned it first. “You look so tired, Lily,” he said over dinner one night. “Haven’t you been sleeping well?”
“Fine, I think,” she said, surprised. She’d had a few strange dreams lately, but nothing that had disturbed her sleep.
“Are you sick?” Donovan asked, reaching over to feel her forehead.
But it was Victor who put it together for all of them.
“She isn’t sick,” he said, looking at Lily in a way no one had ever looked at her before. “I think she’s pregnant.”
Chapter Fourteen
VICTOR
“What does this mean?” Pax asked, breaking the silence.
“Are you really pregnant?” Donovan chimed in, looking at Lily.
Her voice shook slightly as she replied. “I hadn’t thought of it,” she said. “But I could be. I probably am. My mother always told me that omegas get pregnant quickly and easily, and that I should be prepared for that.”
“But who’s the father?” Pax asked. “I mean...I know I could be.”
“So could I,” Donovan agreed.
Victor nodded. “I could too,” he said.
“I think it’s all of you,” Lily said. “That’s how it was with my parents. Each time my mother became pregnant, one of my fathers was the biological parent of some of the litter. They all got her pregnant at once.”
“Those must have been huge litters,” Pax said admiringly.
“There are only five of us in my group,” Lily said. “But my older brothers and sisters are a litter of nine.”
“Nine?” Donovan exclaimed. “I’ve never heard of such a big group.”
“Omegas carry heavily,” Victor said. He felt numb with shock. “My father told me that.”
“Your mother was an omega, right?” Lily asked.
He nodded. “But I’m one of four.”
Lily pressed her hands over her face. “You’re not angry, are you?” she asked them. “I know this is inconvenient timing.”
Victor didn’t even look at the others. He went right to her and put his arms around her, pulling her into the safety of his embrace. “Of course we’re not angry,” he said. “This is wonderful news, Lily.”
She looked up at him. He saw tears in her eyes. “Really?” she asked.
“We’re going to be parents,” he said.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see that Donovan was embracing Lily from behind. “That’s right,” he agreed. “This will tie our family—our pack—together in a way that nothing else could.”
“And as for the timing,” Pax added, “we have a few months before you’ll start to show. I’m sure we’ll be back home by then, and everything will be fine.”
“But we don’t even have a home,” Lily said. “We haven’t discussed where we’re going to live, or how we’re going to keep everyone together—”
“Don’t worry about that now,” Pax said. “This is a happy moment. We’ll deal with the logistics another time.” He leaned in, took Lily’s face between his hands, and kissed her gently. “I’m proud of you,” he said. “I’m thrilled to belong with you. I couldn’t be any happier, Lily.”
Donovan and Victor echoed the sentiment, and Lily relaxed slightly between them. “I’m sorry for getting so emotional,” she said, her cheeks coloring as she wiped the tears from her eyes.
“It makes sense that you would,” Donovan reassured her. “You are pregnant, after all.”
“That’s right,” Victor agreed. “And you should let yourself feel however you need to right now. But just know that we’re happy about this. We’re ready to be parents with you.”
But later, when he had separated himself from the others and wandered off to look for a water source, he allowed himself to confront his doubts.
He had overcome his hesitation about being with Lily. He was glad she was his omega. And though it was a bit complicated to think of his father’s feelings about the issue, he was glad to have made her pregnant. The idea of watching her grow big with his litter was intoxicating.
But she had been right when she’d pointed out that the timing was bad. And that was impossible to ignore. They were marching north right now, about to cross the sixty-sixth parallel. Once they did, they would be in the Arctic. In the territory of the Arctic Wolf Pack.
He had hoped there wouldn’t be a fight. He still hoped there wouldn’t be a fight.
But if he was being realistic, he had to admit to himself that there might be. And if there was...
I shouldn’t have brought her with me. We should have made her stay at home.
He had initially thought that bringing Lily along was the right thing to do, because she would have the best chance of talking to the Arctic Wolves without inciting violence. They would listen to her. They might not listen to anyone else.
But if a fight broke out, and if Lily ended up in harm’s way, she might get hurt. She might lose her babies.
This whole thing has been a mistake, he thought miserably. I shouldn’t have let myself be talked into it.
It might not be too late. After all, they hadn’t crossed into the Arctic yet. Maybe he could still get Lily to safety.
It was amazing how quickly his heart had been won, how entirely consumed he was with her well-being now that he had let go of his old prejudices and allowed himself to accept her as his mate. I should have done that from the beginning. We could have saved ourselves a lot of heartache.
He waited until they had come to a stop for the night. As Donovan worked to build a fire and Pax fished in a nearby stream for their dinner, he took Lily aside so that he could speak to her privately.
“I’ve been thinking,” he began.
She sighed. “Oh, no. Here we go.”
“What?”
“I knew this was coming,” she said. “I
knew it from the moment we left Vancouver. You’re having second thoughts about approaching my family.”
“Of course I am,” Victor said. “How could I not?”
“I thought it might have gotten better once you got over your hesitation about being with me,” Lily said. “But it hasn’t, has it? You still feel the same way you always did about my family.”
“No,” Victor protested. “That’s not what this is about. I’ve grown past the biases my father instilled in me.”
“No, you haven’t,” Lily said. “You can’t get over a lifetime of believing something in a few days. You accept me now, but when you think of my family, you still feel revulsion.”
“Not revulsion,” he said. “Not exactly that.”
She reached out and took his hand. “I can see in your eyes that you’re not sure about them,” she said. “I see the way you look at me now, compared to the way you used to. You’ve softened toward me.”
“Of course,” he said. “I was a fool to resist you as long as I did.”
“But when I mention my family, it’s like something comes over you,” she said. “It’s like I can see you withdrawing, pulling away from me.”
He sighed. “Isn’t it obvious, Lily?” he asked. “I’m afraid of them.”
It was liberating, somehow, to put it into words. He could never have confessed to being afraid of the Arctic Wolves before. But knowing and loving Lily had loosened something within him. He no longer felt the need to put up the courageous front he once had.
Her eyes were wide. “You’re afraid of them?” she asked. “But you went north on your own to confront them.”
“To spy on them,” he reminded her. “I wasn’t going to pick a fight. It was different.”
“But you had to know that there was a chance it wouldn’t end well,” she said. “If one of my brothers had found you in the woods—”
“Then it would have come to blows,” he said. “Or to teeth and claws.”
“Exactly.”
“And that’s exactly what I’m worried about this time,” he told her. “It doesn’t mean that I think badly of your family, Lily. I’m not giving in to the biases I grew up with.”
“You are,” she insisted. “Because you’re not trusting that it’s going to be different now that you have me along. A word from me and my family will know that you mean them no harm. I’ll tell them you’re not hostile, that you’re not here to fight, and they’ll believe me.”
“But what if they don’t wait to hear you out?” Victor asked. “What if they attack first and ask questions later?”
“I’m telling you, that’s not going to happen. We’re not savages up north.”
“You wouldn’t have to be,” Victor said. “If a stranger came onto my land leading a huge pack, I’d probably assume he was hostile. And if he had my missing omega who had disappeared without a word weeks ago, I’d consider that confirmation.”
“I’ll tell them,” Lily said. “The minute they see me, I’ll start talking. I’ll tell them I’m with you because I want to be.”
Victor shook his head. “I’m starting to think it’s not a good idea to take you up there at all, Lily,” he said.
He’d known she wouldn’t take that well, and she didn’t disappoint. She stared at him as if he’d sprouted an extra head.
“You can’t seriously be thinking of turning back now,” she said. “We’re nearly there. And you and Donovan and Pax promised me that we would do this.”
“We will do it,” he said. “But maybe it’s not a good idea for you to come with us.”
“But I have to come with you,” she said. “You need me. I’m the only one they’ll be sure to listen to.”
“I can’t take the risk,” Victor said. “What if something goes wrong? What if there’s a fight, and you get caught in the middle somehow? What if you get hurt?”
“I’m not going to get hurt,” Lily said. “They’re my family, Victor. My parents. My brothers and sisters. They would never do anything to hurt me. And I know you wouldn’t.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” Victor said. “But that doesn’t mean something couldn’t go wrong. Even if you’re right, and they wouldn’t set out to hurt you, that doesn’t mean you couldn’t be collateral damage.”
“You’re saying you think they’d be so desperate to attack you that they wouldn’t worry about the fact that I was standing in the way?” Lily asked.
“I’m not going to let you stand in front of me when we face the Arctic Wolves,” Victor said. “You’re my mate. My omega. And you’re carrying my children. I could never allow you to put yourself in that kind of danger.”
She was quiet for a moment. “You do still think of them as savages,” she said.
“That’s not what I’m saying, Lily.”
“Yes, it is. You think they’ll be willing to go through me to get to you, even though I’m one of their own,” she said. “You think seeing me won’t be enough to keep them from attacking.”
“I worry that it won’t,” he said. “Can you blame me for worrying about you, Lily? Do you know what it would do to me if something were to happen to you?”
“Would you hurt me?” she asked him. “If I was standing between you and the Arctic Wolves, would you hurt me to get me out of the way? To get to them?”
“You know I fucking wouldn’t,” he said. “How can you ask me that?”
“I do know you wouldn’t,” she agreed. “And it’s the same thing. My family wouldn’t hurt me any more than you would.”
“I can’t trust that, Lily,” he said. “I know you want me to.”
“I want you to trust me,” she said.
“I do trust you. I just...”
“You think I’m wrong.”
He threw his hands up, feeling helpless. What could he say? She clearly believed that her family wouldn’t allow any harm to come to her.
But he couldn’t put the stories his father had told him all his life completely out of his mind. The alphas of the Arctic Pack were deadly warriors. They were brutal. They had fought savagely against the members of the Vancouver Pack, and they were the only pack that had ever beaten Victor’s father in combat.
And they were wild. Feral wolves who survived on instinct.
What would their instincts tell them when they were faced with their old enemies again after twenty years?
There was no way to know for sure. But Victor thought that even he would have been tempted to attack under those circumstances. And if I would attack, I have to believe that the northerners would too.
“I want to take you home,” he said to Lily.
“What do Pax and Donovan have to say about it?” she asked, setting her jaw stubbornly.
“I haven’t spoken to them yet,” he admitted.
“You can’t make a decision like that without talking to them,” she said. “You know you can’t. It’s too big.”
He nodded. “I know,” he said. “But I wanted to talk to you about it first.”
“I’m not going to go willingly,” she told him. “You don’t want to take me into danger, and I get that. But it’s going to be far more dangerous for you if I’m not there. My pack will listen to what I have to say. They won’t attack if they see that I’m with you. But if you’re on your own, you’re just going to look like an invading army. They’d be crazy not to defend themselves.”
“We’ll tell them we’re with you,” Victor said. “They’ll still get the message.”
“I don’t think they’re going to believe it if they don’t see me there.”
“Think of our children, Lily,” Victor said.
“I am thinking about them!” she protested. “I’m thinking about them growing up never knowing their fathers. I’m thinking about them not having a pack to protect them. I can’t raise a litter on my own. Do you have any idea how dangerous that would be?”
She was right. He knew she was. The world was a bad enough place for an omega on her own, without any children to worry
about. Hell, he had kidnapped her, and he hadn’t even meant her any harm. He didn’t like to think about what would happen if the wrong person crossed her path while she was trying to raise her children.
But it had never been his intention to leave her alone. “One of us will stay with you,” she said. “I’ll convince Pax to do it.”
She crossed her arms. “He’ll never go for that.”
“Pax hates fighting,” Victor said. “And he doesn’t have any betas to lead. He’s the best choice.”
“He may not like fighting, but he’s not going to want you to go to war without him,” Lily said.
“We’re not going to war,” Victor said. “There’s no reason to think this will turn into a fight.”
“You can’t have it both ways, Victor,” she said. “Either it’s safe, in which case there’s no reason I can’t go, or it’s dangerous, in which case you need to be at full strength. So which is it?”
He couldn’t answer. There was no answer that would satisfy her. He was being dishonest, and both of them knew it. This was dangerous, and Victor would much rather have gone into it with Pax by his side.
But he couldn’t leave his omega unprotected.
“I’ll go get Donovan and Pax,” he said. “We’ll discuss this and come to an agreement.” He turned and set off toward the camp at a jog.
Chapter Fifteen
LILY
The moment Victor was out of sight, Lily turned and ran the other way.
He had forgotten to give her an order.
Maybe it was because she had been so compliant in her time with the southern wolves so far. She had shown them no sign of wanting to get away. She hadn’t wanted to get away. And somewhere along the line, they must have stopped thinking of her as a flight risk.
Which was all well and good until they had told her they would be going north without her.
Lily couldn’t let that happen.
Everything she had grown up believing about the southern wolves was wrong. They weren’t brutes who didn’t know how to love. She believed that the men her mother had known in the south had been like that, of course, but her three alphas were good men. She had never imagined that anyone could be like them.
