When I nodded, he squeezed my shoulder and then left me with my thoughts.
“Sound advice. Now what the hell am I going to do with it?” I said to the flames dancing before my eyes.
I had no idea how long I sat there, but the fire had all but died when Ella showed up with a steaming mug in her hand. “Compliments of your other, better half.”
I took the mug from her, and felt the stinging heat soaking into my hands.
“So how come you’re out here all alone by a dying fire?” she asked, moving to add more wood. Once she finished, she grabbed the poker to stoke the flame.
“Too lazy to get up. The fact my ass is frozen to the seat doesn’t help either,” I answered, taking a cautious sip of coffee.
“Murphy would have come out, but her hair is wet,” Ella said, claiming the seat Aiden had vacated.
“Am I missing anything important?” I asked, wondering why Ella had chosen to stay out in the cold instead of hurrying back inside.
“Not really. Everyone is sort of doing their own thing to get ready for this evening. You planning on playing the guitar for us again?” she asked.
“I suppose that can be arranged,” I said, grinning. It felt good to be able to play music in the place where it had all begun for me.
“I can see why you guys love this place so much. I mean, I’ve been here once before, but—”
“A lot has changed since then,” I said, giving her an out.
No matter how well she put up the front of putting her past behind her, it would always be there and popping out in her unguarded moments.
“It’s snowing,” Ella said, putting her hand out and catching a flake in her palm.
A smile broke out on her face. In a flash, she came out of her seat and hauled ass to the cabin.
I had a feeling everyone would be outside soon, so I forced myself to get up and grab a few more logs to get the fire burning a little hotter.
“Mark, haven’t you taken enough pictures?” Paige called out, scooping a small handful of powder off the ground and doing her best to form it into a snowball.
“Don’t even think about it,” he warned, shoving his camera inside his jacket to protect it.
The ground was patched in white like someone had sprinkled it with confectioners’ sugar. The air was crisp, and when it gusted, snowflakes swirled madly as if they were dancing.
“Frozen all the way through yet?” Murphy asked as she sat on my lap and turned to lean into me.
“Almost. Might take hours for me to thaw out. You’ll probably have to follow me around with a towel to wipe up the water I’ll leave behind,” I said, sucking my breath in when she shifted and wiggled on my lap. “Then again, if you keep that up, I just might start steaming,” I said.
“I can’t help it. There’s something digging into my arm,” she said, poking at my jacket. “What is that?”
I swallowed hard. “Nothing.”
“I know that look. What’s in your jacket?” she asked, reaching for the zipper.
I swatted her hand away playfully. “Stop, Ms. Nosy.”
“Now I have to know what it is,” she said, going for the zipper again.
“Murph.” Her name came out as a whisper. I caught her hand in mine, and gave her fingers a light squeeze.
“What?” Her eyes searched mine. “Is it a surprise?”
“No,” I answered, being fully honest.
I’d kept the rings on me in case Murphy decided to clean and stumbled across them. I hadn’t decided what I was going to do with them, but after my conversation with Aiden, I figured I’d put them away once we got back to Chicago. He’d told me to think about what it was that she wanted. I was trying my best to take his advice and not be selfish.
“What are you hiding from me?” she asked.
“I’m not hiding anything from you.” I felt her stiffen.
“Yes, you are,” she said, poking my jacket where the box was hidden.
I was caught in a no-win situation. Lie to her, tell her the truth, or let her see it for herself? I closed my eyes and leaned my head back.
Her hand shot down the front of my jacket and had the box out before I could stop her.
“Hey!”
“Nothing, huh?” she said, shaking the box in my face.
I grimaced. “I don’t think you should…. You know what, have it your way. Look if you want, but you can’t say I didn’t warn you.”
My stomach turned to water when the box creaked open. Around us, everyone carried on while they tossed mini snowballs at one another. They had no idea of the explosion in motion.
She gasped, but it was so faint the wind snatched it away. I knew better than to say anything, so I left her to her thoughts while she processed what she was seeing.
I didn’t have to wait too long. “Jared, are those…?”
I steeled myself, finding I couldn’t look her in the eyes. “I did try to warn you.”
The longer she was quiet, the more scared I felt. But what really freaked me out was when she said, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a gorgeous set like this before.”
My heart galloped in my chest as I fought to stay calm. “They’re, um, one of a kind.”
Her finger brushed over one of the rings, but I had no idea which one because of the way she held the box.
“Are those music notes?”
“Yes, but not random ones. It’s the opening notes to one of the first songs I played for you.”
She took one of the rings out and turned it slowly. “You had it custom made?”
I nodded. “I sent the drawings to a jeweler,” I said, not wanting to get into all the unnecessary details at the moment.
“Hey, Murphy, what’s that?” Riley asked, moving close to the fire.
Murphy snapped the box closed and shot off my lap. In her haste, the box hit the ground. Riley bent to pick it up. I sat frozen in place, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do.
“Here,” Riley said, putting the box in front of my face. “I have no idea what that was about, but you should probably go after her.”
Everyone had stopped in the middle of what they were doing and looked at me. Aiden gave a slight jerk of his head. Go, it said. I went with the vision of Murphy holding the ring as she looked at it, realizing she hadn’t pulled out her ring. She’d pulled out mine.
It came to me then, what to do. How I could prove I wouldn’t bring up marriage again. That she’d have to bring it up to me if it was what she really wanted.
Chapter 10
Murphy
Marry me, Murph. I could hear it echoing in my head on repeat. Hell, I could close my eyes and bring the moment back as if it just happened.
I’d panicked. Totally balked. And I had no idea why.
There were hundreds of reasons if I really wanted to make excuses. But that wasn’t me. I had to have valid points to back up my feelings. The problem was that I’d run out of valid points. There was no reason to not marry Jared. We were living together. Working alongside one another. We shared everything. Thoughts, feelings, disappointments, and fears. When he wasn’t around, I looked for him. If I heard something exciting, he was the first person I wanted to tell.
He’d become my entire world.
Maybe that was the problem. Maybe I subconsciously thought I was losing a part of myself, and that part of me went into fight-or-flight mode? Whatever it was, it was unsettling.
Jared had snuck in under all of my defenses. That was my starting point. That was where I needed to look first. Maybe I’d figure out what it was that made me decide to let him in, and it would help.
It wasn’t the moment we met, that’s for sure. I thought, remembering the second I’d clapped eyes on him sitting in the plastic chair at the airport. I’d tried to carry his guitar for him, and he’d balked at it. I’d decided right then and there he was just another typical musician with an ego the size of the world. That wasn’t the case, though. What I hadn’t known then was Jared was actually
a gentleman. A real gentleman in a sea of overinflated egos, and he bobbed along with his own way of doing things.
But that wasn’t it. What was the first thing he did that resonated with me on the spot? Had it been when we were stranded without a driver, and my truck died? He’d taken the situation in hand, and guided me through it. That had been a first for me. I was the problem solver, and I’d hit a wall that day. I would have eventually figured it out, but he’d done it faster without batting an eye. There’d been the time when our bus driver hit the mother of all potholes, and Jared had taken care of me after I’d smacked my face against the table. That was when he told me that sometimes we all needed someone to take care of us.
That moment stood out the most to me. And it hadn’t been some grand overture either. It told me Jared truly cared about people. That he was a good person all the way around. It was only further confirmed after I heard him say the name Riley in his sleep, and I questioned him about it. That had been the first glimpse of the Six I got. And it had been through his eyes.
That had to be what it was. That had to be the moment I allowed my defenses to drop enough, because he’d made such an impression on me when he’d told me about his friends.
We’d grown over the years. Each differently, but together. Our dynamic was pretty amazing, and sometimes when I thought about it, it sort of blew me away.
Why then had I freaked out when the most obvious next step was marriage?
I huffed, clutching my fist, and felt the ring biting into my flesh. Groaning, I curled up in the center of the bed. I’d fled again, but it hadn’t been from anything Jared said or did.
No, I fled because my emotions had hit a critical point that had me shaking in my boots, and it wasn’t from the cold.
When I’d opened the box, my attention immediately went to the larger ring. Maybe it was because I could see the detailing better, or maybe because holding that one felt safer somehow.
When Riley had asked me what was in my hand, I bolted.
I sat up, kicked off my shoes, and then sat cross-legged on the bed. Almost hesitatingly, I cupped my left hand in front of me and looked down. It was Jared’s ring I’d run off with.
“Murph?” he said, stepping into the bedroom.
I darted a look at him, and was hit with a wave of empathy. Jared was a talker. He could spin any type of story at the drop of a hat. He was, for the most part, a happy person with a quick temper. I’d witnessed many emotions, but I’d never witnessed whatever it was he had going on inside of him right then.
“I, uh… I didn’t mean to take off with this,” I said, holding it out to him.
He moved slowly toward me, hands loose at his sides, and then sat on the edge of the bed. I scooted from the center and moved closer to him. He turned enough to face me with one foot on the floor. His knee bumped mine when he held his hand out for the ring.
There was no sign of the box it belonged in. If he’d put it back in his jacket, he didn’t make any move to take it out.
The ring looked small between his pinched fingers. “I drew a sketch for this about a year ago. And after I sent it off, I never thought I’d see it made. It’s funny how things work out sometimes.”
A year? If he drew it up that long ago, how long had he been thinking about marriage before that?
“We hadn’t been together for a long time, but I knew it then, the same way I know it now, that you are the only woman for me.”
I tensed. My mouth opened, but no words were forthcoming.
He gave me a soft smile. “No, I’m not going to ask you again. You can relax.”
I blew out a long breath, wishing my thoughts would come together. It would be easier to tell him that he was the only one for me as well if I could think straight.
“And I get it. Marriage, or maybe the thought of it, scares you. I don’t understand it, but I love you enough to let go of my selfish wants in order to make you feel safe and loved. Maybe one day, you’ll decide it’s right, and maybe you won’t. That won’t change the way I feel about you, and it won’t change my dedication to you.”
A tear rolled down my cheek, but he missed it because he’d turned his focus back to the ring.
“I thought about it. A lot. But it wasn’t until Aiden talked to me that I understood. To me, getting married wasn’t about a big wedding, or all the stuff that goes with it. I wanted so badly to be able to call you my wife. It was sort of symbolic to me. Not to say that you were mine, but to know you chose me to be your husband. Marriage is a forever thing for me, Murph. And maybe that’s what scares you.”
I dashed away the tears that wouldn’t stop flowing. After drawing in a really deep breath, I let it out. “I do love you, Jared. I love you with everything in me.”
“I know,” he said, dipping his head. “I’m sorry if I upset you. I just wanted you to know I won’t be a pain in the ass about it anymore. And that with, or without, marrying you, I’m still just as committed as if we were.” He slid the ring on his finger and flexed his hand. “When the time comes that you want yours, all you have to do is say the word. And it doesn’t come with any stipulations. I’ll take whatever it is you want to give me, and know that you’re giving me everything. Okay?”
I tackled him. We ended up in a heap of arms and legs on the bed.
He’d poured out his soul with words. In return, I poured mine out with my body.
His jacket hit the floor and then his boots. Just as I shoved my hands up the back of his shirt, there was a loud bang just outside our window. Jared shot up and cursed about the same time I clapped eyes on Ace.
He wiggled his eyebrows, and then lifted the crowbar he’d rested on his shoulder. “Thought I was gonna have to come up here and use this to pry you two apart. Get your asses downstairs. It’s Christmas Eve.”
Jared busted out laughing as Ace lowered a step at a time until he was no longer in the window.
“Bastard thought that one through. I wonder how long he’s been waiting to do it?” Jared said, helping me up from the bed.
“Why would he do that?” Of all the pranks I could actually see Ace doing, that wasn’t one of them.
“Payback. I did it to him and Riley… before they were together,” he said. “I’m glad he did it now, instead of waiting another five minutes.”
I blushed all the way down to my feet. “Close the curtains, and never open them again.”
He pulled me against his chest, and kissed the top of my head. “Don’t worry, he won’t do it again.”
There really wasn’t any reason I should have felt his ring pressing against the skin of my back, but I did. Happiness bloomed inside of me, chasing away the lingering panic that sat in the darkest corners of my mind.
“Come on before they come up the stairs and start beating on the door,” he said, moving to the closet and grabbing Stella’s case.
He set the case on the bed, lifted Stella, and handed her to me. Putting his hand over his heart, he said, “My girls.”
I looked at his ring. It was hard to miss, especially when the light hit it. The music notes were black diamonds. The top and bottom of the band were white diamonds. It was breathtaking against the silvery white metal.
“What?” he asked, looking down at his ring. “Do you want me to take it off before we go downstairs?”
I shook my head. “I was just admiring it. If you weren’t a super-secret agent, you could always go into the jewelry design business.”
He tipped his head, squinting. “It’s a thought. Do you think we should take our gifts down now? Or should we wait until later?”
His change of subject didn’t throw me. I was used to it. “No idea. We can go down and see if anyone else has, though.”
“Hold that thought,” he said, dashing out of the bedroom.
As I waited for him to come back, I picked up his discarded jacket and hung it up. It was heavier on one side, and the jacket tilted drunkenly on the hanger.
“There are gifts down there, so we’ll ju
st go ahead and take ours. That way, we don’t have to do it in the morning,” he said, lifting a stack of presents from the floor and handing them to me.
“Who helped you with these bows?” I asked, seeing his beautifully wrapped packages.
“No one. I made them,” he answered, kneeling so he could grab the bags I’d put my wrapped stuff in.
“You did?” I asked as he stood.
He winked. “Jared’s Jewelry and Bows, at your service.”
I grinned. “I’ll take care of the books.”
He laughed. “Partners, then?”
I nodded sharply. “Partners.”
“Come on, partner, let’s go deliver these packages to the Christmas tree,” he said.
The Six were a nosy bunch. They noticed everything. So it didn’t surprise me when Paige grabbed Jared’s hand and brought his ring up for inspection. She whistled, bringing even more attention to them. “Wow, is that one of your Christmas presents? Dang, Murphy, you have great taste.”
Before I could stumble through some sort of explanation, Jared answered, “Yes, it is, and yes, she does.”
Three faces gave us odd looks. Paige, Aiden, and Airen. They knew something about the rings. It was obvious not everyone did, though. There was genuine surprise in seeing it on his finger.
“So where’s yours, Murphy?” Josh asked.
Ella jabbed him in the ribs. “I saw you brought stuff down. Need help getting it organized under the tree?”
“Is there even room?” I asked as we stood in front of it. “Thanks for shifting the focus.”
Ella bumped her shoulder into mine. “Any time. Now, let’s stack these little ones on top of the bigger ones. Maybe that will give us more room.”
“Christmas Jenga!” Aiden said, getting a laugh from the others.
“Should have cut more branches from the bottom,” Ace said when Nova and Eli came down with their gifts.
A Very Merry Sixmas (The Six Series Book 7) Page 10
