by Jane Green
‘Like what?’ Sarah is flummoxed. This was not the reaction she expected.
‘I don’t know,’ Eddie lies.
‘No, that’s it. But that’s pretty big for me.’
‘So what’s the job? No, let me guess. You’re working on the local paper? You’re starting a new magazine? Editing a book?’
‘Well, no, actually. I mean, I know I’m a journalist by trade, but I just wanted to start small, just to ease myself back into the workplace, to give me something to do while the kids are in school, and Jennifer Lucas needed some help at the spa, so I’m just helping out at the front desk there.’
‘That’s great!’ Eddie says. ‘Honestly, I think that’s great. How’s it going? Are you enjoying it?’
‘Actually I love it. I’d kind of forgotten how nice it is to be out of the house and to be surrounded by people. And you know what, if I ever did want to write a book there’s some great material – I’ve already heard some amazing stories.’
‘Like what?’
‘Okay, I shouldn’t gossip but seeing as you’re in Chicago, you know that uptight Lynn Gorson?’
‘The realtor? The one who always pretends she doesn’t know who we are?’
‘Exactly! Can you believe that she was caught having sex with the massage therapist in the sauna?!’
‘No!’
‘I know!’ Sarah giggles. ‘Isn’t that awful?’
‘Sounds hot and steamy to me,’ Eddie says, ‘and I don’t mean in a good way. Ugh. Sex in a sauna. Not a good idea. Speaking of good ideas, though, maybe you could offer to help Jennifer with some of her PR. I think the job is great, but it would be even better if you could utilize some of your skills, and I’ll bet she could do with some PR.’
Sarah smiles. It had occurred to her as well. ‘I probably shouldn’t say this,’ she says, ‘but I was really scared about telling you I had a job. I thought you’d belittle it.’
Eddie is bewildered. ‘But why would I do that? I’ve thought for years that you’d be happier doing something that gets you out of the house. I knew how isolated you were, how difficult it’s been for you sometimes.’
‘You did? So why didn’t you say something?’
Eddie shrugs. ‘I’m saying it now.’
Sarah sits in silence, flustered. This is not the conversation she expected to have. Eddie is not reacting in the way she expected him to react.
‘I have to go now,’ she says eventually, to Eddie’s disappointment, but her voice is gentle, and after Eddie puts down the phone he finds himself smiling. The light at the end of the tunnel now seems just a little bit brighter than it did before.
As for Sarah, Sarah is confused. Her world suddenly feels far less stable now than it did when Eddie first left. Sarah doesn’t like not knowing where she stands; doesn’t like her life not being cut-and-dried. First she was married; then she was separated. Soon she had planned on being divorced. So why aren’t she and Eddie screaming at one another the way they had been for months? Years. Why did she enjoy their conversation? Why did her heart thump ever so slightly harder as Eddie picked up the phone?
Sarah takes a deep breath and goes down to the kitchen. When all else fails, she can always rely on Ben & Jerry to make everything feel just fine.
Chapter Eight
‘I love this!’ Jennifer stands by the front desk, waving a press release that Sarah had drafted the other day and placed in Jennifer’s cubby with a note saying that it was just an idea, but if Jennifer wanted some help with PR Sarah would be happy to do it.
‘You do?’ Sarah looks up from the computer and grins.
‘You’re a genius. I loved the idea of starting Girls’ Night In! And then this press release makes it sound even more amazing than it’s going to be. We’re going to have to talk about more PR.’ Jennifer perches on the desk, smiling. ‘I’m always too busy to even think about the PR and marketing, but if you wanted to take it on I’d be thrilled.’
Sarah sits up straighter. ‘I’d love it.’
‘Can you come into my office in about’ – Jennifer checks her watch – ‘twenty minutes and we can talk more about other projects? I’d love to have a brainstorming session with you.’
‘Absolutely.’ Sarah nods efficiently, hugging herself on the inside. She can’t wait to tell Eddie.
The first Girls’ Night In is a huge success. Sarah’s press release had been printed, almost verbatim, in the upcoming events page of the local paper; it had been announced in the spa’s newsletter; and hot-pink flyers, designed and overseen by Sarah, had been dropped off at hairdressers, nail salons, and preschools all over town.
Not to mention the word-of-mouth network. All the women in book club were coming, plus various friends and acquaintances, and the evening was a sellout.
There was a makeup artist giving free makeovers, a clothes consultant who freelanced for The Today Show giving consultations on updating your wardrobe by adding five key pieces for a modern look without breaking the bank, and various beauticians from the spa giving massages and manicures.
There were sushi, hors d’oeuvres, and pomegranate martinis. The women start off huddling nervously together, clutching their drinks, smiling tight smiles at one another until the alcohol starts to flow through their veins, and as they loosen up they start laughing, all captured by a reporter and photographer from the local paper.
Jennifer and Sarah stand in the doorway as Caroline comes over and gives Sarah a hug.
‘What a great idea!’ She turns to Jennifer. ‘I love that you pulled all these women together, and it’s such a treat to get out and feel spoiled. I just had the most amazing massage and I’m waiting for them to call my name for the clothes consultation, although I don’t really know why I’m bothering. I’m not sure my preschoolers would appreciate bootleg pants with a bouclé jacket.’
Sarah starts laughing at her usually fashion-challenged friend. ‘Since when do you even know what bouclé is?’
Caroline raises an eyebrow and smiles. ‘I happen to not only know what bouclé is, but also that fur shrugs are very in this season. Not, I might add, that I shall be buying one, whatever that Today Show clothes consultant might say.’
‘I’m impressed.’ Jennifer smiles.
‘I’m in shock,’ Sarah says.
‘Okay, okay. I confess. I was at my ob/gyn yesterday and they kept me waiting nearly an hour, and the only thing they had to read was Vogue. Happy now?’
Sarah laughs. ‘I knew it! There had to be an explanation.’
‘But if you were to ask me about the benefits of a down vest versus man-made fiber, that I could tell you about.’ Caroline smiles. ‘So how about you, my friend?’ She looks at Sarah. ‘I hope you’re going to get something delicious done tonight.’
Jennifer turns to Sarah. ‘Absolutely,’ she concurs. ‘You’re not working. You should do something.’ And before Sarah can protest Jennifer spies someone leaving the makeup artist’s table, and the next thing Sarah knows she’s sitting in front of the mirror looking at the bags under her eyes and the gray streaks in her hair as Jennifer, Caroline, and the makeup artist stand behind her examining her.
‘Well, you did say you didn’t recognize the woman who’s been looking back at you in the mirror.’ Caroline shrugs with a grin. ‘Maybe we can turn you back into the woman you once were.’
‘Great!’ Sarah turns to her. ‘So I’ll be seeing a plastic surgeon tonight as well?’
‘Oh, ha ha.’ Caroline gives her a friendly shove and turns to the makeup artist. ‘We will now leave you to make my friend even more beautiful than she already is.’
‘Not a problem,’ says the makeup artist, with a smile, and Caroline and Jennifer walk off giggling, as Sarah tries not to look at her tired reflection in the mirror.
Twenty-five minutes later the makeup artist stands back to survey her work.
‘You look awesome.’ She smiles. ‘Ready to see?’
‘Go for it,’ Sarah tells her, as she swivels her chair around so Sarah can see her n
ew face in the mirror.
Caroline is busy talking to Lisa and Nicole when she feels a tap on her shoulder and they all turn around.
There’s a silence as they all look blankly at the woman standing behind them, and then, in unison, all three of them gasp.
‘Oh – my – God!’ Caroline’s hands fly up to her mouth.
‘Sarah?’ Lisa whispers.
‘Is that you?’ Nicole’s mouth drops open, and then she leaves, muttering something about finding the makeup artist.
‘Oh, great.’ Sarah rolls her eyes. ‘You’re making me feel like I normally look like Quasimodo.’
‘No! But you just look so different,’ Caroline says. ‘I wouldn’t have recognized you.’
‘I see that.’
‘You look amazing.’ Lisa laughs. ‘Seriously. I can’t believe what you look like. What do you think? Do you like it?’
‘Are you kidding me? I love it. Even though it feels as if I’m wearing about a ton of makeup.’
‘But what did she do with your hair?’ Caroline frowns.
‘You mean, where’s the gray?’
Caroline nods reluctantly.
‘She had some colored mousse. Apparently it will come out when I wash my hair, but it temporarily covers the gray.’
‘Okay. I’m your best friend,’ Caroline says, ‘so I think I’m allowed to say this.’ She takes a deep breath. ‘You look about ten years younger.’
‘That’s it!’ Lisa exclaims triumphantly. ‘I was trying to figure out why you look so completely different but that’s exactly it! You look like a school-kid!’
‘I’m not sure that’s the look I was going for.’
‘Okay, so I’m exaggerating a bit, but you look so much younger. Eddie’s going to freak out when he sees you!’ And then the three of them fall into an embarrassed silence. Lisa didn’t mean to say it, had completely forgotten that Eddie wouldn’t be seeing it tonight, nor any other night.
‘I’m sorry.’ Lisa is mortified. ‘I really didn’t mean to say that. I’m so sorry.’
‘That’s okay.’ Sarah puts a hand on her arm to soothe her. ‘It’s fine, and anyway, you’re right. Eddie would freak out if he saw me.’ And as she walks off on the pretext of getting everyone more drinks, her shoulders sink. What is the point of doing all this, making all this effort when there’s no one around to appreciate it? Sure, her girlfriends approve, but for the first time since Eddie has gone, it hits Sarah that she is now on her own, and excusing herself from the party she goes into the office, where she allows the loneliness and fear to overcome her, and she lays her head down on the table and weeps quietly before slipping out the back door and going home.
The makeup may have been washed off by the next morning, but Sarah still gets a shock when she looks in the mirror and sees her rich, chestnut-colored hair.
She pulls open an old makeup drawer and rummages around until she finds some eyeshadow, mascara, blusher. Trying to think about how the makeup artist did it last night, she plays around a little, painting the eyeliner on slowly, smudging it like the makeup artist did, sweeping the blusher over the apples of her cheeks.
Not bad. She looks at herself in the mirror. Not, admittedly, nearly as stunning as last night, but with the gray gone in her hair and some makeup on, she has to admit she looks a hell of a lot better.
‘Mommy!’ Walker and Maggie come running into the bathroom and stop still, staring at her. ‘Mommy? You look beautiful!’ Walker sighs.
‘Really?’ Sarah’s heart melts. Walker has never said this before in his life, and she gathers him in her arms and kisses him.
‘Yes, Mommy,’ Maggie says, not wanting to be left out. ‘You a pretty lady, Mommy.’
‘Oh, thank you, darling,’ Sarah says, kissing her.
‘I put on lipstick too.’ Maggie grabs the blusher and puts it on her lips as Sarah laughs.
The doorbell rings and Sarah frowns, pulling her robe tighter around herself. Damn. She hates going to the door when she’s not dressed, but it’s her own fault, she thinks, for messing around with her hair and makeup instead of showering and dressing as she usually does.
‘Come on.’ She lifts up Maggie and gestures for Walker to run in front of them. ‘Let’s go and see who’s at the door.’
‘Hello?’ a man’s voice calls back. ‘Mrs Evans? It’s Joe.’ Pause. ‘The contractor? I’m here to look at your wall?’
‘Oh, right. Sure.’ She’d completely forgotten, and she opens the door to find herself staring into a pair of bright green eyes, and a large dimpled smile.
‘Oh,’ she says, instantly feeling vulnerable in her robe in the presence of not just any man, but someone who’s actually cute. And then composing herself, she extends her hand and says in her most businesslike tone, ‘Hi, I’m Sarah Evans. Nice to meet you. Please come in. Will you excuse me just a second while I get dressed?’
‘Absolutely,’ he says. ‘Hi!’ he says to Maggie, who smiles shyly and buries her head in Sarah’s robe. ‘You’re a cutie, aren’t you. What’s your name?’
‘Maggie?’ Sarah says. ‘Can you say hello?’ There’s a shake of her head and Sarah shrugs an apology as Walker comes dashing back into the hall in a Darth Vader mask wielding a light saber.
‘Whoa!’ says Joe the contractor. ‘I didn’t know Darth Vader lived here. That’s pretty scary.’
‘I’m gonna chop you with my light saber!’ Walker says, and Sarah reprimands him.
‘Walker, that’s not nice. Say sorry.’
‘Don’t worry.’ Joe smiles. ‘How old is he? Five?’ Sarah nods. ‘I have a five-year-old as well. I’m well versed in Star Wars. I’ll watch them if you want.’
Sarah thinks for a second, but he looks normal, and he’s a recommendation from another mother at school who had used him to redo her kitchen, so he must be okay. She smiles gratefully. ‘That would be great.’ She shows him into the kitchen and runs upstairs to get changed. Oh, shit, she thinks, catching sight of herself in the bathroom mirror. What must he have thought of me, opening the door in full makeup and a bathrobe?
She pulls on her track pants and a sweatshirt and then pauses by the bedroom door. Not that there’s anything wrong with her track pants, and not, absolutely not, that she’s trying to impress the cute contractor downstairs, who by the way, has a son and is therefore almost certainly married (not that she’s looking), but didn’t the Today Show woman talk about showing off your assets rather than hiding them, and doesn’t this make her look rather middle-aged and dull?
Sarah strips them off and puts on some cargo pants with a tight, long-sleeved T-shirt. Thank God for Gap, she offers a silent prayer as she gives herself a cursory glance in the mirror and goes back downstairs.
All the cushions are off the sofa in the family room and Walker, Maggie, and Joe the contractor are huddled under the table.
‘What’s going on?’ Sarah asks uncertainly, unused to seeing strange men crouching under tables in her family room with her children.
‘Mom! Mom! Joe made us a fort!’ Walker shouts delightedly. ‘And look! It has a doorway too. You can come in too!’ The pillows from the sofa have been propped up in such a way as to create a doorway, Joe’s jacket draped over the top.
‘I don’t think so.’ Sarah smiles, ever the grownup. ‘And it’s not Joe; it’s Mr Davito to you.’
‘I’m fine with Joe.’ He smiles at her from under the table.
‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes,’ he says. ‘They’re great kids.’
‘Thank you. They are. You said you had a son. Any other kids?’
‘No, just the one. But I’d love a daughter someday.’
‘Daughters are great.’ Sarah smiles at Maggie, who’s now crawled out from under the table and has wandered into the corner to ‘make some lunch,’ even though it’s nine o’clock in the morning.
‘Mom!’ Walker whines. ‘Come under here. Look, there’s space.’
‘No, darling,’ Sarah says. ‘Mommy has to talk to Mr
Davito about the wall.’
‘I’m sorry, buddy,’ Joe says, as he crawls out from under the table. ‘Your mom’s right. We have to talk about the wall, but how about if you make a huge pirate ship for us to sail in when we’re done?’
‘Yeah! Cool!’ Walker leaps up and down in excitement as he starts to rearrange the pillows, and Sarah leads Joe into the other room, thinking with a pang that Eddie never played with the kids like this.
‘You’re a natural with kids,’ she says, as they walk into the family room.
‘I think it’s because I miss my son,’ Joe says. ‘He lives with his mother and I only get to see him on weekends.’
‘Oh,’ Sarah says, as a million thoughts go through her head. So he’s single. Or is he? Why is he telling me this? Does he want me to know he’s single? God, he’s cute. No. Don’t be ridiculous. You’re a middle-aged mother of two and he’s totally cute and wouldn’t be interested in you even if you were available. Which you’re not.
But damn. I wish he’d stop smiling at me like that.
‘So’ – Sarah, flustered, marches over to the wall – ‘so this is the wall I was telling you I want knocked down.’
Chapter Nine
Something happened to Eddie today that hasn’t happened for as long as he can remember.
There he was, dripping with sweat as he pounded on the treadmill at the Reebok Club, when he felt someone looking at him.
Glancing up in the mirror in front of him, he caught the eye of a curvaceous, pretty brunette on the elliptical machine just a few machines away. She held his glance for a few seconds, until Eddie looked away. But Eddie remembered that look. Remembered exactly what that glance, held for just that tiny bit longer than was absolutely necessary, meant. That was the glance he used to give, back in the days when he was young and single. And free.
He looked again to check, because nobody has given Eddie a look like that in a very long time, and, yes, she was still looking. And this time she smiled. Eddie smiled back.
Not that she was his type. And even if she were, Eddie’s not looking. Eddie’s priority these days is work, and filling up the hours he should be with his family by working out and thinking about how he can best get back to being with his family.
