by Lexi Blake
“You totally have a murder face and that’s it, but I’m letting it go for now. I reserve the right to come back to this topic of conversation later. I will do as you ask because I don’t want that murder face to be the last thing some innocent person sees before they die. I’ll be waiting with Mia.” Sarah turned and flounced away. “By the way, orgasms make people less violent.”
Kori stared in the mirror. She didn’t look all murdery. Maybe a little unhappy, but not psycho killer. And it wasn’t like she hadn’t had an orgasm. She had a very nice battery operated boyfriend who required nothing from her but the occasional new double As. They certainly didn’t require her submission and her trust and her flipping soul the way a good Dom would. Not that she’d known a good Dom. She knew them, of course. Sanctum was full of them, but she didn’t know them in a biblical sense. Of course the only one she wanted in a biblical sense was Kai, and she didn’t really want him that way. She was programmed to want him. They fit. Sadist meet Masochist. He was chocolate and she was peanut butter. They could be perfectly fine on their own but together they made something magical.
And produced unnecessary calories and cavities.
That was what she would remember when she looked across the crowded dungeon and caught a glimpse of him with his superhot brother and whatever gorgeous things they attracted. She would remember that she was peanut butter and didn’t require chocolate to be awesome.
“Hey, Charlotte’s got me rounding everyone up. She’s giving them all the ‘don’t drool on the Hollywood star because it makes the other Doms feel bad’ lecture.” Serena Dean-Miles was not dressed for play. She was in a pair of yoga pants and a T-shirt, her brownish blonde hair swept back in a ponytail. “I wanted to catch you first. How is Kai? You have to know I didn’t have any idea they were related. I also didn’t have a lot to do with the casting.”
She needed Serena to understand something. “The absolute smartest thing you can do is to take whatever money they’re offering you and run. Don’t look back. Films tend to wreck books for the most part. The smart author giggles all the way to the bank and leaves the agony for the screenwriter.”
Serena went pale. “I am the screenwriter.”
Oh, that poor girl. Kori nodded. “Then forget everything I said and know that you are the best person for this job and it’s going to be so much fun. No one knows your characters better than you do.” Or was as close to them and reluctant to cut out the parts that needed to be cut because no film could do a four hundred and forty-nine page book in an hour and a half. “You’re going to be great.”
Tears shone in Serena’s eyes. “It’s horrible. It’s so awful. I thought I would come down here and maybe sitting in the locker room would bring on some inspiration, but I have no idea what I’m doing. We’re supposed to start filming in a couple of weeks and I’ve got a bloated script and the director hates it, and if I don’t fix it he’s going to bring in a screenwriter whose last project was something about cars turning into aliens that eat the planet.”
Yeah, that sounded like a lot of Hollywood types. For some producers, screenwriters were easily replaceable. They wouldn’t think past their bottom line on a production. Oh, there were some great producers out there who understood the need to find the right screenwriter for every story, but many had their pet writers and didn’t care that the man was likely some twenty-something who knew nothing about the lifestyle and cared very little about the nuances of romance. It was why Kori preferred her romances in novel form. The impulse to help Serena nearly overwhelmed her. She’d always wanted to try a romance. She’d mostly written horror and supernatural thrillers with strong female leads, but she loved Serena’s books. She could do them justice on the screen. She could find that delicate balance between the story and the characters that was required for a film.
“I could read it for you.” She couldn’t come out and tell Serena the truth. Too many questions. She could help though.
Serena took a long breath. “I would love that. I’ll e-mail you a copy. You’ve been in the lifestyle for a long time. I would love your opinion. I think I’m trying to explain the lifestyle too much.”
And that was a mistake. “The lifestyle is in the story. Worry about that and not making sure the viewer understands every bit of protocol. I’ll let you know what I think, but I’m sure it’s fabulous. And Kai is all right. Well, he’s grumpy but it’s kind of cute on him.”
“Hopefully it’s not too much of an imposition.” Serena put a smile on her face, but it was easy to see she was frustrated. “Watch out for him. I know sometimes family can be difficult, to say the least. I’m glad Adam and his brother are in a good place. I wish I could say the same for Jake. I don’t think he’ll ever be close to his biological family again. I think in the end we make our own families.”
And Kai was like her brother. Yeah. Her non-blood between them, really wished he would slap her ass hard brother. There wasn’t anything weird about that. She gave Serena a big hug. That was one of the gifts Sarah had given her. She’d never been a hugger. When she’d come to Sanctum, there had been a bitch of a sub who loved to screw with everyone. Sarah had joined and Maia had told her Kori loved to be hugged.
She hadn’t been quite able to shove the girl away, and over the years she’d not only gotten used to random acts of affection from her friends, she’d come to crave them.
Another gift from Sanctum.
“It’s going to be awesome, Serena. You’re going to be awesome.”
Serena squeezed her tight. “Thank you. I needed that.”
And that was a gift from Kai. She’d watched him help people for years and one of the things she’d learned was sometimes people needed to hear that they could do a thing before they believed it themselves. It was all good and great to be able to look in the mirror and be confident without outside voices, but sometimes it was also good to hear that people were behind you.
Withholding that affection had been the norm where she’d come from. It felt so good to let it flow now.
Like that moment when she’d wrapped her fingers around Kai’s hand and she’d felt him sigh in relief. He’d needed her and that had been a revelation.
She watched Serena walk away, likely back to the lounge section of the locker room where she and Avery O’Donnell kept a couple of comfy chairs. Serena would sit with her computer in her lap and type away.
And she would watch Kai with his brother and wish for that moment when he needed her again.
She quietly joined the others as Charlotte Taggart began her talk.
Twenty minutes later, she stepped out of the locker room to the sound of thudding industrial music. The sound soothed her, familiar and comforting. She looked around but Sanctum was still Sanctum. There might be a few extra people in the club, but it looked exactly the same otherwise. Somehow she’d worried she would step out and find the dungeon had changed.
“Did Lady Taggart give you the speech on respecting famous people because they sometimes have small penises and that means they want to be left alone?” Vince hurried up to where she and Sarah and Mia stood. A broad grin was on his face. “Because that was pretty much how Lord Taggart put it. He also said something about the first sub who screamed or fainted at the sight of some douchebag actor in a pair of leathers would spend the next month lighting the hamster wheel up. And the awesome part was Jared Johns was actually in the locker room when he said it. I love Master Ian. I think I would go gay for him if he had a vagina.”
“If he had a vagina you wouldn’t be gay,” Sarah pointed out. “And Charlotte talked a whole bunch about how men can be sexually harassed, too, but I was mostly thinking about how hot his character on Dart is. Do you think he can really kill two men with one dart?”
“I don’t understand why he doesn’t pick up a gun,” Mia said with a shake of her head as she looked out over the dungeon. “That would be way easier than darts.”
“It’s a metaphor,” Kori muttered. Everyone was a critic. “And it was also
a comic book at one point. Those fan boys and girls can get vicious when they think the source material isn’t being respected. Who’s here tonight?”
She needed a single Dom, or one of the marrieds whose wife didn’t mind celibate play.
“A bunch of the MT group is out of town. Simon and Jesse are in California and Liam O’Donnell is on vacation in the Caribbean somewhere,” Vince explained.
“Doesn’t that strike you as weird?” Mia asked. “I would think it would be too soon.”
“Too soon after what?” Sarah asked.
“Too soon after they lost a teammate in that part of the world,” Mia whispered. “It seems odd that Theo Taggart died there and now Liam O’Donnell is taking his wife and kid for a vacay.”
“The Caribbean is a big place,” Sarah replied. “I’m sure it’s not the same island.”
“And I heard they weren’t in the Caribbean.” She’d overheard Liam talking to Kai about the upcoming trip. “I think they’re going to South America. Argentina, maybe. They probably changed plans at the last minute because it’s definitely too soon.”
Everyone missed Theo. His absence was a giant hole that no one was going to be able to fill. Theo’s death had led to Erin’s absence at the club and many of the MT group taking time off.
She missed them. Even when they were here now it was easy to see they were still grieving.
“I was looking for you, pretty girl. Might I say you’re looking lovely tonight,” a deep voice said.
She turned and there was Jared. Someone had Dommed that boy up. He was wearing a pair of leathers that somehow sat perfectly on his hips so they showed off those honed notches. And his six-pack was really more of an eight-pack. A black leather vest framed his torso, showing off cut biceps and broad shoulders. He had the most gorgeous scruff.
The man was stunning and he still had nothing on Kai. Kai didn’t have a trainer with him twenty-four seven and no one followed around after him making sure his scruff didn’t turn into a beard and his hair was always the perfect length. Kai’s hair often got too long. He would get involved with his patients and writing academic papers and he would forget things like grooming, and Kori had to make sure he got to the barber. Sometimes she cut it herself because he didn’t want to take the time.
“Hey, when you mentioned you were going to a club, I kind of thought it would be a nightclub.” He could have been clearer on that.
He shrugged, a boyish mischief lighting his eyes. “I wanted to surprise you. I will admit that I knew you were a member. I also know you don’t have a Dom. I guess I was hoping you would show me around.”
Sarah leaned over, whispering in her ear. “I am fairly certain my ovaries just spit out an egg.”
Kori sighed. “Jared, this is my friend Sarah, and this is Mia and Vince. Guys, this is Jared, who is a regular human being who likely doesn’t want to be drooled on.”
His high-voltage smile ticked up a notch as he held out a hand to Sarah. “Hey, I never say never. Hello, Sarah.”
He shook hands with them each in turn, but Kori was almost certain he’d held Sarah’s the tiniest bit longer than the rest. When he was done, he nodded to the men standing behind him. Yeah, she hadn’t noticed them. Two were dressed in casual clothes and the other, a shorter, thinner man, looked a little uncomfortable in his leathers. “These are my friends, Squirrel, Tad and Brad.”
Dear god, it was the cast of Entourage. They’d gotten that show right. “Let me guess, Squirrel is the childhood friend who now keeps you company. Tad has that publicist vibe about him and Brad is the decathlete turned trainer to the stars.”
Brad frowned. “Triathlete. I did the Ironman in eight twenty.”
Vince’s eyes went wide. “He did Ironman? I kind of thought that dude was straight.”
Jared laughed, his whole face lighting up. “He’s talking about a triathlon, not Robert Downey Jr. And Kori is spot on. Tad is my PR guy and Squirrel and I have been best friends since third grade. He travels with me. Keeps me grounded.”
“And out of trouble,” the soft-spoken Squirrel said. “He needs someone to play Xbox with or he tends to get grumpy.”
“No Lena today?” She and Bolt seemed to be the only two missing.
“I asked her to stay at the hotel. I’m afraid this is not her scene.” Jared looked out over the dungeon floor in a way that made Kori think it was his scene.
He seemed awfully comfy in those leathers.
“She threw a hissy fit about all of this being abusive and how Jared needs to focus on real films,” Squirrel replied. “I swear she can hit a tone with her voice that makes my brain bleed.”
“Don’t listen to that crazy bitch,” Tad said. “This movie’s going to make millions. Women go for this shit.”
Jared’s eyes turned stony. “How about we don’t call it shit? Why don’t you and Brad go hang out in the bar? Or if you’re uncomfortable, feel free to head back to the hotel. I’m going to be spending a lot of time here and I don’t need anyone getting in the way of connecting with this character.”
“I’ll hang out.” Brad glanced around. “It looks interesting.”
“And I need to think about how we can spin this.” Tad pulled out his phone and started scrolling through as he walked toward the bar.
Squirrel sighed. “I’ll go make sure they don’t horrifically embarrass us.”
Jared put a hand on Squirrel’s shoulder. “Thank you, buddy. Explain to him if he takes any video or pictures in this place, that former military men will likely visit him in the middle of the night and it won’t be to party.” He looked back at the group as his friends walked away. “Do you mind if I steal Kori for a minute?”
“As long as you bring her back eventually,” Sarah said with a laugh. “Soon.”
Mia was watching Jared, her eyes serious. “We know where she is and who she’s with. That’s important, you know. You have to know that you have people looking out for you.”
“Yeah, that is good to know. I’ll catch up to you guys, and seriously, don’t let Mia do stupid things.” When the hell had Mia gotten all serious and mother henny? She stepped away and found herself walking beside Jared. “What can I do for you?”
“I can think of a whole lot you could do, but I’m trying to make things right with my brother so I’ll go with show me around.” He held out an arm as though offering to escort her like she was a lady at a ball.
It would be rude, she supposed, to tell him she was perfectly capable of walking on her own. She’d been told by Charlotte that all subs were to be polite. Damn it. She glanced around. Where the hell was Kai? “I suspect you’ve already been here. Are you trying to tell me this is the first time you’ve been inside Sanctum?”
“You’ve got me there.” He stopped in front of the steps that led up to the main level. “I did a walk-through with the guy who runs the place, but he was very academic about everything. I want to see it all through the eyes of someone who loves it here. How long have you been a member?”
“Shouldn’t you be doing all of this with Kai?”
“He kind of ditched me,” Jared admitted. “I got held up in the locker room and he was gone when I came out. Not sure where. I think he thinks if I can’t find him he doesn’t have to talk to me, but I can be patient. This is one of the nicest clubs I’ve ever been to. I like it here.”
She had to stop and stare at him for a moment. “Are you trying to tell me you’ve been to a BDSM club before?”
“Many. I’ve found the owners and members of BDSM clubs are way more into protecting my privacy than any other place I could relax. Also, most other places I would relax at frown on me spanking the girl of my choice. Sometimes the boy. I don’t discriminate.”
“You’re bi?”
“No, I’m a Dom and if a male sub asks for discipline, I’ll hand it out. I make it very easy. I don’t have sex with anyone I’m topping in a club. That’s not to say I don’t have sex. I’m over the idea of casual sex, that’s all.”
&
nbsp; “I thought you had a girlfriend. I know you said it was a professional relationship, but I thought it involved sex.”
“Not at all. Jessica is one of the most beautiful women in the world, and her sexual habits would get her in trouble. I hesitate to involve any woman I’m really attracted to in my insane life, so it works out and keeps the press off our backs. We do red carpets together and a couple of times a year, we go to Mexico and let the paparazzi photograph us holding hands, and then we go back to the hotel and watch movies and drink beer. Every now and then she’ll break down and have a cheeseburger and we have to deal with pregnancy rumors, but otherwise, we handle things.” He frowned as though realizing he’d said too much. “I shouldn’t have told you that. Kori…”
She held a hand up. “I would never tell. I know how hard that life can be. You don’t have to worry about me gossiping. I never worked with her, but I hear she’s a nice lady.”
“Thank you. I forget when I’m in a situation like this. A place like this. It can feel safe. I have to remind myself that I’m not here to play. I’m here to work and that means putting the mask on. Shall we?” He nodded at the stairs.
“Of course.” She let him lead her up to the second level of the club. “How did you get involved in the lifestyle?”
“I wanted to feel close to my brother. That sounds pathetic, but it’s true. I’ve spent my whole life following Kai around and trying desperately to get his attention. Thirty something years in and nothing has changed. He’s still the man I want to be proud of me. Anyway, he was into this lifestyle so I looked into it. I enjoyed it on a physical level for a long time. It wasn’t until I hit the big time that I realized what a sanctuary it could be for me. Your turn.”
She hesitated. Talking about how she’d gotten into the lifestyle meant dredging up all those old memories.
“Hey, sorry,” Jared said with a grimace. “It’s got something to do with why you left the business, doesn’t it?”
She nodded.
“Then tell me about Sanctum. Tell me how it’s different.”
