by Lexi Blake
This was their love and no one else got to control it.
Yes. She was in control. She’d learned that here in Sanctum. What she gave or kept for herself was her choice, but sometimes it was all right to give it up. Kai wasn’t Morgan. Not even close and the Kori she’d become wasn’t going to turn back into that needy girl who’d given up so much of herself that she’d had to flee to find it again.
This Kori stayed and fought and this Kori was going to find her faith. Erin had told her that if she could easily leave then Kai wasn’t the one.
She couldn’t leave because Kai seemed intent on tying her up. He was definitely the one for her.
Kori let him lead her up the stairs.
Up ahead she saw that Kai had rigged a play space for what looked like some serious suspension play. They didn’t screw around at Sanctum. There were hard points in the ceiling along with suspension rings that could handle the full weight of even the biggest subs. Whatever Kai was about to do would likely be memorable.
Underneath the rig was a cushy mat, set there to ensure even if something went wrong, she wouldn’t be hurt. The mat covered a lot of space and there was a sheet over a portion of it. She could guess that was where Kai had placed his toys. Ah, the mind fuck. She wouldn’t know what was happening, couldn’t tell how he would hurt her before it happened. Yes, that got her motor running.
Kai stopped in the center of the scene space, his eyes on her. “You ran this morning. You ran last night. I think you intended to quit today and not see me again. Come here. I’ll get you out of that. I was only trying to make a point, but it seems you would rather talk.”
She forced back the denial that sprang to her lips. She wanted his ropes around her, but she remained still as he quickly got her out of the bindings. “I wouldn’t have run away. I needed time last night. Do you want to explain what you were doing?”
“I was tagging Mia’s phone for Case,” he said, his voice short. He laid the rope down. “He needed to look into her background and it was what he and the crew decided to do. They wanted to be able to listen in on her conversations with her brother. Now we’ve discovered it wasn’t necessary at all and Big Tag is dealing with her brother directly.”
That didn’t run counter to anything she’d heard. “All right. Did you or did you not ask me to come out with you last night for the sole purpose of using me to get Mia’s phone.”
“I did. I would never have wanted to go to a nightclub with you. I would have greatly preferred going home and watching TV and spending time with you in bed.”
“Did you manipulate me into bringing Sarah out even knowing that she would likely get hurt?”
His jaw tightened. “Yes.”
“Did you sleep with me so I could be your cover?”
“Absolutely not. I slept with you because I finally got to. I finally had you in a place where you let me into your bed, where you allowed me to play with you. The two have nothing to do with one another except timing.”
“I have a hard time understanding why you wouldn’t come to me and ask me, Kai. I would have helped you. Even though she was my friend, I would have helped you do anything you needed.”
“I was asked not to talk about it.”
That simply didn’t make sense to her. “By Case?”
“By Big Tag.”
“So your loyalty to Big Tag is more important than our relationship?” She wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer to that question.
Kai groaned in obvious frustration. “I don’t understand why that’s your conclusion. He’s my friend. I didn’t think for a second you would get hurt. Why can’t I do a job for a friend and leave you out of it?”
“You didn’t leave me out of it, Kai. You dragged me into the middle of it. From what I can tell, you and the Taggarts dragged everyone into it. Tell me you didn’t know your brother was under investigation.”
“I can’t,” he admitted. “I did know.”
None of this made sense to her. “You let a potential serial killer into this club. Big Tag let it happen. How am I supposed to feel safe here again? He killed women like me and Sarah.”
His eyes were tight as he continued to stare straight at her. “Yes. But I knew it wasn’t Jared and I stayed close to you. I never meant to hurt you. I wouldn’t do that.”
And neither would the Taggarts. It was so confusing. Only this morning she’d gotten a hearty lecture on how she and Sarah were supposed to stay safe at Erin’s house until everything got sorted out. These men were protective. So why the hell would they put everyone at risk?
“I can see all the questions you want to ask,” he said quietly. “I can’t tell you.”
“Because you promised Ian Taggart you wouldn’t.”
“Yes. I love you, Kori, but I can’t stop being me. Ian told me earlier today that I could tell you if it would make a difference between keeping you and losing you. I’m standing in front of you. I’m offering you everything I have. Will answering that one question make you love me again?”
She shook her head. “No. It won’t.”
His face fell. “All right then.”
“Kai, I never stopped loving you. Not once. I got worried and anxious and about a million old fears hit me at once.” She had made her decision and it was so much easier than she’d thought it would be. It was logic and faith. Kai wouldn’t hurt her. Therefore if Kai had done something to put her in harm’s way, it had to be for the greater good. There had to be meaning. What that meaning was didn’t matter. A sense of peace came over her because she let that fear fly away. She didn’t need it anymore. “I don’t want to know. There’s only one question that matters. Do you love me?”
“I love you more than you can imagine.”
She either believed him or she didn’t. He couldn’t open his soul and let her read what was written there. She stared at him for a moment because maybe she could. A little. Before the last week she’d never looked past how beautiful he was, how stunning his eyes were to stare into. Kori took a step up. Kai remained still as she brought her fingertips up and brushed along his jawline. He hadn’t slept. She would bet on it. He hadn’t shaved either. He’d likely gone straight from the police station to here. There was weariness in those green eyes of his, but there was something else, too. She was there, reflected in them. She’d spent the first part of her life defining herself by how other people saw her. And then she’d rejected it utterly. She’d pulled into herself and the pendulum had swung so no one really mattered. She could say she loved her friends and it was true, but she didn’t love herself until the moment she realized not only was Kai the one…she was his one, too. She was the one who could pull him out of his shell, who could tease and torture him with pranks and affection. If she walked away from Kai, he would be alone. She would be alone.
She didn’t have to be alone. She could choose, and choosing him didn’t mean leaving herself behind. It meant being a new Kori, a Kori who risked and loved. Who leapt and embraced the ride.
Kori took a step back, and she saw the moment his face fell. He thought she would leave. She’d spent so much time worried about Kai breaking her heart that she hadn’t thought for a single moment she could break his.
She had to prove that he was safe with her, too. In their language.
She sank to her knees in front of him, the position once so familiar lit with new meaning now. It meant she was his. It meant she was vulnerable to him and only him. It meant she trusted him to love and cherish her.
His hand came out, covering her bent head. That hand cupped her, sending almost palpable emotion flowing from him to her. One gesture was all it took for him to say that he was hers. That he was vulnerable only to her and he would protect and cherish her gift.
One gesture turned them from separate to together.
“This is forever, Kori. I won’t accept anything less.”
Forever was all she could ask for. Forever with this man. “I think you’ll have to find me a very nice collar, and that might
not be the only jewelry I want from you.”
The words were easy now because she understood him. He’d hesitated to talk about commitment for her sake, not his. Her walls had been thick, but she didn’t need them anymore. Not with him.
His hand came down, lifting her chin up so she could look at him. “Don’t tease me. I would marry you tomorrow.”
No. She was only going to do this once and that meant doing it right. Her Master wasn’t getting away with a quickie Vegas wedding. “I’ll need six months to plan.”
“Then I’ll take six months of filthy sex with my fiancée.” His face went hard, the Dom coming out in an instant. “Take the clothes off quickly or I’ll rip them off you.”
Though she’d spent way, way too much time in these particular clothes, she didn’t want to parade around in whatever she might find here. It would make the trip home far too interesting, and she’d seen enough of the DPD to last a lifetime. She hurried to get out of those confining clothes, tossing them off because he hadn’t told her to be careful.
“Those are beautiful marks, baby,” he said when she turned to him. He stared at her breasts and brushed his fingers over the marks from the sadisticks. The little matchsticks were barely pink now, but he could see them. He ran his fingers down to her nipples and rolled one between his thumb and forefinger. Over and over. Very gentle.
Sadistic bastard.
“I’ve had a very rough day, baby. I need some play.”
In this they were perfectly matched. “Yes, Sir. I need some play.”
“Tell me what you want from me.” His fingers were so gentle. It was frustrating and exhilarating because she knew something nasty was coming. “Do you want a sweet lover?”
“No, Sir.”
“Do you want me to worship you with kisses and gentle caresses?”
“No, Kai. I don’t want that.”
“What do you want, sub?”
“I want you to hurt me.” She said it without shame. There was no shame between them. There was only connection and acceptance. The world, she’d discovered, was so much bigger when she’d dropped all her shame and accepted who she was, when she forgave herself for her mistakes and accepted that she deserved all the love this man could give her. And the pleasure. For her there was such deep pleasure in pain.
His fingers tightened and twisted viciously, making her whole body tense and the breath flee her lungs. “That I can do. Turn around right fucking now.”
She turned, giving him her back. Her body hummed, her skin heating nicely. What other delights would her Master gift her with tonight?
“We’re going to talk about a few things, baby.” He dangled the rope in front of her and she felt a tug deep in her pelvis. “Hands behind your back.”
She folded her hands together behind her, leaving her breasts upthrust and exposed. She sighed with pleasure as he went to work, binding her.
He was rough with her, letting her feel the rope as he wound it around her. “The first thing is that you’re not leaving work. I need you.”
“I never said I was going to leave work. Did you think I expected to be a kept woman now that we’re together?” That was a funny vision. She wasn’t the kept kind of girl. She needed to work and she loved working with him. What Kai did was important.
“Oh, I’m going to keep you in every way possible, but you’re going to feel free to use any time you need to write whatever you want. I don’t give a shit if it’s a shopping list as long as you write something creative every day.”
Doms. They never stopped. Luckily, she’d already made that decision herself. “I’m glad because I’m helping Serena with her script tomorrow. She’s coming in and we’ll use the ladies’ lounge to work.”
He tugged on her wrists, tying off a section of rope. “Two, you have to fix up the men’s room. The patients have started to complain. I think it’s perfectly fine. It’s a toilet. It doesn’t have to be anything but clean, but no, once the guys started hearing about how nice the ladies’ was they want their own freaking spa.”
She would love to put in a nice, masculine space. The office was soothing but plain. Guys needed a little glam, too. “I can do that.”
He wound the rope around her breasts, the material scratching against her skin. He pulled it just tight enough. “And you have to help me with my brother because I don’t know how to reach him. I don’t even know if he wants me to reach him.”
Her heart softened. “Give him time. Let him know you’re here. That’s all we can do.”
He tied off the last section and she was already feeling safe and secure. The bindings made her whole body feel warm and happy. Even when her Master tweaked her nipples again. Hard. She gasped but managed not to move. This was all a part of the game. “You’re beautiful like this. You’re always beautiful, but when I close my eyes, I see you like this, bound and trusting and needing me as much as I need you.”
His mouth came down on hers briefly before he moved back to his work. She went silent as he bound her, preparing her for suspension with a chest harness and ensuring that she would be secure. He ran another length of rope down her spine and she felt it caress the cheeks of her ass before he shifted again, bringing it between her legs and back up her belly. He tied it securely to the lovely design he’d made that showed off her breasts.
The rope slid over her clit and against her soft pink parts, the roughness making her squirm. Kai stood and looked down at her. “I think that will do.”
She loved ropes, but that suspension rig sent a delicious shiver of fear down her spine.
A happy peace came over her as she allowed Kai to move her into position. He tugged on the ropes, pulling her roughly to him and then positioning her right where he wanted her. The feel of the ropes around her was overwhelming, taking her out of herself.
“Relax and trust me,” Kai whispered.
This was what she’d missed before. She’d played and fooled around, but none of it had been serious. This was serious. They prepared each other and took care before pleasure, as though their love was sacred and required rituals.
She closed her eyes and let the sensation sweep over her. She heard the sound of metal clinking. The carabiners. Kai was attaching them, getting ready for…she gasped and she was suddenly swept up and into the air.
Her whole body was cradled roughly three feet off the ground. She could feel the sway as she settled in, her legs splayed and her body completely open and vulnerable to him. This was flying. She wasn’t sure why he’d settled her so low. She’d gone much higher, but she wasn’t about to complain. Already she was feeling soft and warm and strong all at the same time.
Kai stood between her legs. “I don’t want you to hesitate to use your safe word if you need to.”
It was right on the tip of her tongue to call him a Nervous Nellie, but she was trying to be a good sub. Hell, she’d just gotten engaged. She should give her inner brat a night off. Kori gave him her sweetest smile. “Yes, Master.”
Kai frowned. “Now that makes me nervous. But this is placed perfectly.”
Now she understood why she wasn’t higher. He’d put her in the perfect position to fuck her hard. “You’re right. It is exactly where I need to be. I was going to complain it wasn’t higher. The other suspension scenes I’ve done have been higher.”
He frowned down at her. “I don’t want to hear about other riggers. Especially not the Cajun guy. You played with him a lot.”
“Don’t get jealous. I only played with him.” Remy had been fun and there’d been nothing sexual between them. Deep down, she’d always longed for Kai. Maybe even before she’d met him.
“I’ll always be jealous of anyone you played with, but like I said, this is perfect.” He moved between her legs, showing her that his cock was perfectly aligned. He held her hips and ground himself against her, the rope sliding between his pants and her skin. “Tell me how it feels. I like to know what I’m doing to you.”
“It hurts. It’s biting into me, but I
like it. Oh, just a little more.” How could she already be so close? He’d barely touched her, but being bound by his ropes had acted as foreplay. She didn’t need much more than that. Her pussy was soft and ready, her clitoris ripe for orgasm.
Kai stepped back. “Not yet. Not until I say so. This is where I’m in control. And I control everything here, baby. You’re mine here. Every. Single. Inch.”
He tugged on the rope that ran across her pussy and then let it go. It hit her hard and made her body shake. She swung, her heart swelling as she felt like she was flying.
“Asshole.”
He smiled. “Well, I did tell you to call me anything you liked. Enjoy that today. If you’re going to curse me, I should give you something to curse about. Don’t go anywhere.”
Like she could go anywhere. Like she would go anywhere. She was primed for him.
And already a little subspacey. The feeling of being utterly helpless was starting to make her head float. She sank into the rope. It wasn’t simply rope. It was his rope. Every loop and knot had been tied by him, a loving caress of her Dom. He held her there off the ground, his will and desire feeding her own. She let her head rest back, giving over to whatever her Master had planned for her.
She smelled that ozone scent before she heard the crackling that signaled he’d turned on the violet wand.
Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Her brain frazzled, her body tensing and waiting for the first feel of fire on her flesh. And she giggled because damn this was going to be fun.
“Did you think at all when you ran away this morning?” His voice had gone deep.
When she looked up at him, he’d taken off his shirt and boots and was standing there looking so fucking sexy with his hair still pulled back and his glasses on. Even when he was intellectual Kai, the Dom simmered underneath. He held the violet wand in one hand, the apparatus so seemingly innocent.
He’d fastened the flathead to the wand and when he flicked the switch, the glass addition glowed with a lovely purple light. And it made the evilest sound.
“I wasn’t running away. I was going home. I’d had a long night. Erin talks in her sleep.” And apparently had some hot dreams. Dreams that ended with her calling out Theo’s name. But when they’d woken up, Erin had been calm and collected again. She’d thanked Kori and Sarah for cooking breakfast because her house had become op central once Andrew Lawless had shown up.
